His expression twisted, slightly. "It's not- that I don't want to. It's... a lot to think about. That's all. But... thank you. I'll probably... spend more time there now, anyway. Since you invited me."

He drew a shaky breath. "I'm not. Used to this. I don't know how comfortable I am with... the topic of fathers. Maybe I just need to get over myself. Maybe I need therapy, I-"

He wanted this. Needed this, like a drowning man needed air, but- the prospect was like facing a drop into unlit darkness, having to trust there was someone to catch him at the bottom. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear. I'm not going to apologize, but- I do feel like an idiot for saying it."