Strange Refections - Glimpses of home - Confession of a teenaged Super Model CW: just normal teenaged angst. And Spoilers for Season 5
Okay... He couldn't handle any more of whatever was going on with these mirrors. Dream world? It was feeling more like a nightmare. He vowed not to look into any more mirrors, but when he caught a glimpse of himself standing outside a multistory bakery and he stopped. This was Marinette's place. No way any memory there could be bad, right?
So, more the fool he was, he sat down to watch his memory play out on the mirror.
Adrien stood before the door, like he was gathering himself before he pushed it open. A kind looking woman welcomed him by name. "Adrien. Welcome. Are you here to see Marinette?"
"Yes, Mrs. Dupain-Cheng, if she's home. Our teacher gave me her homework to take to her since she missed school again."
"Thank you, Adrien." She wiped her hands on a shop towel to get the flour and powdered sugar off of them. "I'll take you upstairs," she said, leading him past displays of all manner of delicious looking pastries.
He followed her up and through the back of the shop as she called "TOM, I'm taking one of Marinette's friends upstairs to see her!" and got a muffled reply in return. Beyond the shop was a comfortable looking house, it made up for its small footprint over the shop by having multiple floors.
On what seemed to be the top most floor she climbed the circular stairs to a trap door in the ceiling. She knocked lightly before opening it. "Someone here to see you, sweetheart," she called into the room above.
"Tell Alya I'm contagious. She'll catch my weakness," opined a a girl who was mostly hidden under the covers up in the loft bed.
"I caught it a while ago, Marinette," Adrien said. "So I'm safe."
The girl gasped and sat up in a panic. "Adrien?!"
He stood on the steps with the woman, Marinette's mother, for now that the girl was sitting up, the relationship was undeniable.
"You should be at school," Marinette pointed out, sounding sad.
"So should you, Marinette. Can I come in?"
Marinette looked down at her lap, crunching in a bit. "Okay," she said, before flopping back onto her pillows and pulling the blanket over her head.
Adrien exchanged a look with the girl's mother, then he went up as she went down, closing the door behind her. That she left a teenaged boy in the bedroom along with her teenaged daughter said something one or more of the three of them, though just what or who wasn't readily apparent.
Adrien went to the computer chair and set down his bag before he sat. He rolled the chair back to look up at Marinette. Or what he could see of her from that angle given the blankets, at any rate. "Looks like you're not doing too great," he said, trying to be kind but stating the obvious. "Can I help you?"
She pulled her head out and rolled onto her side, but stayed cuddled in the blankets, not looking at him as she groaned. "No one can help me because no one will ever truly know me."
"You know," Adrien said, "Not a lot of people know who I really am, either. What they know of me is just an advertising image. But..." he looked down at his hands, "you and me, we could be different." This could have been so powerful if said in some theatrical drama. But the reality was it was said quietly, and more than a little awkwardly. Like an actual teenager, not an over dramatized for the stage adult idealized version of one. He tried looking up at her, but she still wasn't looking back at him. "If you wanted to, we could really get to know each other."
"I can't let anyone love me, and I never will," she responded. Where for once he was bringing all the awkward to the table, she was bringing the drama, for all it was softly spoken. "Even if her were nice, sweet, and generous and handsome and brave," she said, looking like her world was shattering. She sat up, trowing aside the blankets, an arm over her face as she started crying. "Even if he were you," she sobbed.
"I'm sure I could understand if you would just explain things to me," Adrien tried, desperately.
"No one can understand what I'm going through," she said, hands in fists on her bed as she spoke to her knees.
"Marinette, you can tell me anything," he promised, Standing up to try and see her better. "Before anything else, I'll always be your friend."
She looked down at him, tears in her eyes. "And I, before anything else..." she scrubbed at her face, crying, then looked down at something in her hand, or on the bed, from the angle it was hard to tell which. "I'll always be..." she hesitated and whatever she was going to say was lost to the sound of a small trash can - pink with white flowers - falling down.
Startled, she stopped speaking and Adrien went to see what had fallen. Adrien stared, seeing what had fallen out of it. Photos of him, countless photos of himself. Some posed, some... well no, he's a model, they're almost all posed camera ready shots. Very few if any seemed like they could be candids. He picked up one of the photos, kneeling before them.
"I..." Marinette started. "I will..." she watched as he started throwing the photos of himself back into the trash can. "I'll always be... I'll always be a failure," she gasped, throwing herself back onto the mattress. She hit it in anger. "Living a lie. Never succeeding at what I set out to do."
Adrien's hand tensed on the lip of the trash can, hurting for her. He pushed himself up, every last trace of his photos back in the garbage. He stood to face her bed, looking up at it, as though he could see her through it now that she was at the far side of it. "I don't care, Marinette! I love you just the way you are!" The look on his face, made it clear to anyone for whom this wasn't a memory... this was new. This... was a confession.
There was nothing for a long painful moment. No sound, almost no motion. And then the slightest shift of her head. "I don't love you," she replied in a voice that sounded like heartbreak.
Adrien tore himself away from the mirror, hugging his arms and shaking, eyes closing as tears ran down his face. He tried to remind himself over and over again that this was just a memory, he knew what happened later, what happened so much later. But for now the pain was fresh and raw as if it were again knew. He clenched his upper arms until they hurt, curling in on himself. And for once he couldn't hide the pain. Even if it attracted an akuma. The pain ripped through him and radiated out to anyone who could sense emotions. And for once, he wasn't at all aware of who was around him, or caring who might see, might notice.
He kept trying to remind himself that things changed, after. That this was just a small painful memory. That he was in love and it was wonderful to love and be loved. But at the moment he just kept hearing her reject him. Over and over in his head. The words repeating and doubling, circling his brain like sharks.
It was like being back in that horrible white room. Being alone. So alone. Knowing he'd never see her again. Never see anyone again without permission. Trapped. Alone. Hurting. Scared. Hurting. Trapped. Alone. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped...
Strange Refections - Glimpses of home - Trapped CW: abuse, neglect, harm, angst, and massive season 5 spoilers.
No more mirrors. No more. He couldn't do it to himself. Not again. No more. He never wanted to see another mirror as long as he lived.
But alas, he was bad luck incarnate in so many ways. For he managed to avoid three mirrors, but in avoiding the last by turning away sharply, he came face to face with a fourth. And seeing an image of himself running up the front stairs of his mansion he was terrified he knew what memory he was about to see.
And he wanted to look away. Desperately. Except...
Except....
It was one of the very last memories he had of his father. Could he really look away, even knowing what was coming?
The choice was taken out of his hands as the scene continued.
Adrien ran up the stairs and the doors flew open as he pulled on them. And there, framed in the doorway was a man in all white who looked a lot like someone else that people here might know. Of course the version all in white was behind the doors like he was waiting to be a jump scare, and had a very serious no nonsense stern expression.
If indeed that had been his intent, it worked, for Adrien gasped and almost fell backwards down the stairs, fear filling his expression.
"Go pack your bags," the man in white ordered. "The plane to London leaves in an hour."
Adrien risked a half step forward. "Dad, tonight's the end of the school year dance," he begged.
His father cut him off sharply. "Adrien I am your father, and I refuse to hear another word," he said coldly, raising his voice.
With a small upset sound, Adrien ran past him, into the house and up the stairs to his room. There was an odd flicker in the mirror and then Adrien was coming back down the stairs, dragging a suitcase behind him.
A woman, in leg braces that went up her back, waited by the open doors, looking upset even as she stood almost statue still. "You cannot disobey your father, but don't let anyone stop you from loving who you want."
Without a word, he walked past her, and out the door towards the waiting limo. The expression on his face said it all, there was nothing left to say. A large gorilla of a man took the suitcase and put it in the trunk. Adrien got in the back beside his father, and the large man took the driver's seat. They started off without any further conversation.
And for a while that was all the mirror showed. The three of them, silent, almost still, in the car.
Adrien was no less still, outside the mirror, watching from without what was still a recent and fresh scar of a memory. But focusing now on his father, where the Adrien in the mirror was faced ahead, but as he knew, seeing nothing in the car. Not for a while. Not until...
"Father," Adrien finally said, trying again. "Please, I know what I want. Let me live my life here in Paris with Marienette and my friends."
His father was unmoved and spoke in cool even words, not looking at him. "You must go through with this like an Agreste. That's what your mother would have wanted."
Adrien gasped, as if shocked with a live wire, only far more painful. "No," he said, closing his eyes, body contracting in pain. "I'm sure that mom would have just wanted me to be happy." He finally looked at his father, pleading with him to understand how miserable he was. But his father refused to even look at him as his tears over ran his eyes, streaming down his face. Taking his subtle eyeliner with it.
Seeing his father wouldn't be swayed, wouldn't listen, wouldn't even see him, Adrien lunged desperately for the door handle. The car rolled to a stop, but the door would not open, no matter how much he pulled on it. The car started up again, the Gorilla man, seeing that he wasn't about to roll out into the ground from a moving car.
And still the father wouldn't so much as glance at him, staring straight ahead, unmoved as ice.
Finally Adrien gave up on the door, crying in earnest. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed Marinette, seeing her small smile on her ID picture as he placed the call. He clutched the phone with both hands, and she answered his video call almost immediately.
From the angle of the mirror it was hard to see her, though her voice could be heard when she spoke. "Adrien." You could hear the smile, the soft delight when she said his name.
Adrien didn't give her a chance to see or react to his tears, speaking as soon as, or even before, his name died on her lips. "Marinette, I should have told you sooner, but up until the last minute I thought I'd find a solution," he confessed, tears and makeup streaking his face. "I tried everything, I swear," he said as he fought not to sob."
"Adrien?" she asked, concerned. "What... what's going on?"
"I have to leave Paris," he confessed. He lost the war and hunched in, eyes closing with fresh tears. "I'm not worthy of your love. I feel terrible for hurting you. I'm sorry." The words sounded like they were pulled out of him with barbed wire gloves. The connection cut and he collapsed into himself, phone dropping into his lap as he sobbed into his hands.
The car pulled into an airport, and through to the private airfield. The Gorilla man got out, got his suitcase, and then opened his door from the outside, leaving Adrien nowhere to go but the small staircase to the private jet. His father waited in the limo, seeming to not care. In the jet, the large man put the buckle on Adrien over not just his lap, but his arms as well, pinning his hands down, as if to ensure he would not escape before take off. Adrien was looking down at his trapped arms, so did not see what the mirror showed. The pained and sad expression on the face of the larger man.
But then a voice sounded from outside the plain. "ADRIEN!" It was the girl from the phone, Marinette.
Adrien gasped and he and the gorilla man looked out the jet window to see a young girl in a white and pink gown, on a moped, racing ahead of airport security towards their plane.
The gorilla man leaned over and unbuckled Adrien. Shocked, looked to him, but he grunted and nodded to the door. Adrien ran that way, out of the plane and down the small stairs as she was running up, her moped tossed to the ground with her helmet in her haste.
The pair met in the middle of the jet bridge stairs and grabbed onto each other, clinging as they kissed desperately.
"You!" his father yelled to the security agent who was just standing there watching the young couple, "separate them."
The security agent rushed up the stairs as the gorilla man rushed down and each physically grabbed one of the teens, trying to pull them apart. For a moment the two adults seemed to struggle, but it was clear that at least one of them hadn't really been trying, because a moment later he did and they came apart quickly.
Adrien and Marinette desperately tried to not let go, but they were overpowered, and soon were holding each other's arms, then wrists, then just hands. Something pressed from her hand into his as they were pulled fully apart.
Adrien was hauled into the plane, as she was hauled clear. The door closed as soon as he an the gorilla man were inside. Adrien was let go once the door was closed, and he collapsed into his seat. This time the Gorilla man buckled him in, leaving his hands free, for him to cry onto the small stone bead looking charm that Adrien was now holding.
"Why?" Adrien whispered, pain wrenching through him that he couldn't hide. He didn't even care who was there to see him. "Why would he take that risk, of letting this... why...?" He put his hands over his face and started to sob. "Father... why....?"
Part 2
Strange Refections - Glimpses of home - Confession of a teenaged Super Model CW: just normal teenaged angst. And Spoilers for Season 5
Okay... He couldn't handle any more of whatever was going on with these mirrors. Dream world? It was feeling more like a nightmare. He vowed not to look into any more mirrors, but when he caught a glimpse of himself standing outside a multistory bakery and he stopped. This was Marinette's place. No way any memory there could be bad, right?
So, more the fool he was, he sat down to watch his memory play out on the mirror.
Adrien stood before the door, like he was gathering himself before he pushed it open. A kind looking woman welcomed him by name. "Adrien. Welcome. Are you here to see Marinette?"
"Yes, Mrs. Dupain-Cheng, if she's home. Our teacher gave me her homework to take to her since she missed school again."
"Thank you, Adrien." She wiped her hands on a shop towel to get the flour and powdered sugar off of them. "I'll take you upstairs," she said, leading him past displays of all manner of delicious looking pastries.
He followed her up and through the back of the shop as she called "TOM, I'm taking one of Marinette's friends upstairs to see her!" and got a muffled reply in return. Beyond the shop was a comfortable looking house, it made up for its small footprint over the shop by having multiple floors.
On what seemed to be the top most floor she climbed the circular stairs to a trap door in the ceiling. She knocked lightly before opening it. "Someone here to see you, sweetheart," she called into the room above.
"Tell Alya I'm contagious. She'll catch my weakness," opined a a girl who was mostly hidden under the covers up in the loft bed.
"I caught it a while ago, Marinette," Adrien said. "So I'm safe."
The girl gasped and sat up in a panic. "Adrien?!"
He stood on the steps with the woman, Marinette's mother, for now that the girl was sitting up, the relationship was undeniable.
"You should be at school," Marinette pointed out, sounding sad.
"So should you, Marinette. Can I come in?"
Marinette looked down at her lap, crunching in a bit. "Okay," she said, before flopping back onto her pillows and pulling the blanket over her head.
Adrien exchanged a look with the girl's mother, then he went up as she went down, closing the door behind her. That she left a teenaged boy in the bedroom along with her teenaged daughter said something one or more of the three of them, though just what or who wasn't readily apparent.
Adrien went to the computer chair and set down his bag before he sat. He rolled the chair back to look up at Marinette. Or what he could see of her from that angle given the blankets, at any rate. "Looks like you're not doing too great," he said, trying to be kind but stating the obvious. "Can I help you?"
She pulled her head out and rolled onto her side, but stayed cuddled in the blankets, not looking at him as she groaned. "No one can help me because no one will ever truly know me."
"You know," Adrien said, "Not a lot of people know who I really am, either. What they know of me is just an advertising image. But..." he looked down at his hands, "you and me, we could be different." This could have been so powerful if said in some theatrical drama. But the reality was it was said quietly, and more than a little awkwardly. Like an actual teenager, not an over dramatized for the stage adult idealized version of one. He tried looking up at her, but she still wasn't looking back at him. "If you wanted to, we could really get to know each other."
"I can't let anyone love me, and I never will," she responded. Where for once he was bringing all the awkward to the table, she was bringing the drama, for all it was softly spoken. "Even if her were nice, sweet, and generous and handsome and brave," she said, looking like her world was shattering. She sat up, trowing aside the blankets, an arm over her face as she started crying. "Even if he were you," she sobbed.
"I'm sure I could understand if you would just explain things to me," Adrien tried, desperately.
"No one can understand what I'm going through," she said, hands in fists on her bed as she spoke to her knees.
"Marinette, you can tell me anything," he promised, Standing up to try and see her better. "Before anything else, I'll always be your friend."
She looked down at him, tears in her eyes. "And I, before anything else..." she scrubbed at her face, crying, then looked down at something in her hand, or on the bed, from the angle it was hard to tell which. "I'll always be..." she hesitated and whatever she was going to say was lost to the sound of a small trash can - pink with white flowers - falling down.
Startled, she stopped speaking and Adrien went to see what had fallen. Adrien stared, seeing what had fallen out of it. Photos of him, countless photos of himself. Some posed, some... well no, he's a model, they're almost all posed camera ready shots. Very few if any seemed like they could be candids. He picked up one of the photos, kneeling before them.
"I..." Marinette started. "I will..." she watched as he started throwing the photos of himself back into the trash can. "I'll always be... I'll always be a failure," she gasped, throwing herself back onto the mattress. She hit it in anger. "Living a lie. Never succeeding at what I set out to do."
Adrien's hand tensed on the lip of the trash can, hurting for her. He pushed himself up, every last trace of his photos back in the garbage. He stood to face her bed, looking up at it, as though he could see her through it now that she was at the far side of it. "I don't care, Marinette! I love you just the way you are!" The look on his face, made it clear to anyone for whom this wasn't a memory... this was new. This... was a confession.
There was nothing for a long painful moment. No sound, almost no motion. And then the slightest shift of her head. "I don't love you," she replied in a voice that sounded like heartbreak.
Adrien tore himself away from the mirror, hugging his arms and shaking, eyes closing as tears ran down his face. He tried to remind himself over and over again that this was just a memory, he knew what happened later, what happened so much later. But for now the pain was fresh and raw as if it were again knew. He clenched his upper arms until they hurt, curling in on himself. And for once he couldn't hide the pain. Even if it attracted an akuma. The pain ripped through him and radiated out to anyone who could sense emotions. And for once, he wasn't at all aware of who was around him, or caring who might see, might notice.
He kept trying to remind himself that things changed, after. That this was just a small painful memory. That he was in love and it was wonderful to love and be loved. But at the moment he just kept hearing her reject him. Over and over in his head. The words repeating and doubling, circling his brain like sharks.
It was like being back in that horrible white room. Being alone. So alone. Knowing he'd never see her again. Never see anyone again without permission. Trapped. Alone. Hurting. Scared. Hurting. Trapped. Alone. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped...
Strange Refections - Glimpses of home - Trapped CW: abuse, neglect, harm, angst, and massive season 5 spoilers.
No more mirrors. No more. He couldn't do it to himself. Not again. No more. He never wanted to see another mirror as long as he lived.
But alas, he was bad luck incarnate in so many ways. For he managed to avoid three mirrors, but in avoiding the last by turning away sharply, he came face to face with a fourth. And seeing an image of himself running up the front stairs of his mansion he was terrified he knew what memory he was about to see.
And he wanted to look away. Desperately. Except...
Except....
It was one of the very last memories he had of his father. Could he really look away, even knowing what was coming?
The choice was taken out of his hands as the scene continued.
Adrien ran up the stairs and the doors flew open as he pulled on them. And there, framed in the doorway was a man in all white who looked a lot like someone else that people here might know. Of course the version all in white was behind the doors like he was waiting to be a jump scare, and had a very serious no nonsense stern expression.
If indeed that had been his intent, it worked, for Adrien gasped and almost fell backwards down the stairs, fear filling his expression.
"Go pack your bags," the man in white ordered. "The plane to London leaves in an hour."
Adrien risked a half step forward. "Dad, tonight's the end of the school year dance," he begged.
His father cut him off sharply. "Adrien I am your father, and I refuse to hear another word," he said coldly, raising his voice.
With a small upset sound, Adrien ran past him, into the house and up the stairs to his room. There was an odd flicker in the mirror and then Adrien was coming back down the stairs, dragging a suitcase behind him.
A woman, in leg braces that went up her back, waited by the open doors, looking upset even as she stood almost statue still. "You cannot disobey your father, but don't let anyone stop you from loving who you want."
Without a word, he walked past her, and out the door towards the waiting limo. The expression on his face said it all, there was nothing left to say. A large gorilla of a man took the suitcase and put it in the trunk. Adrien got in the back beside his father, and the large man took the driver's seat. They started off without any further conversation.
And for a while that was all the mirror showed. The three of them, silent, almost still, in the car.
Adrien was no less still, outside the mirror, watching from without what was still a recent and fresh scar of a memory. But focusing now on his father, where the Adrien in the mirror was faced ahead, but as he knew, seeing nothing in the car. Not for a while. Not until...
"Father," Adrien finally said, trying again. "Please, I know what I want. Let me live my life here in Paris with Marienette and my friends."
His father was unmoved and spoke in cool even words, not looking at him. "You must go through with this like an Agreste. That's what your mother would have wanted."
Adrien gasped, as if shocked with a live wire, only far more painful. "No," he said, closing his eyes, body contracting in pain. "I'm sure that mom would have just wanted me to be happy." He finally looked at his father, pleading with him to understand how miserable he was. But his father refused to even look at him as his tears over ran his eyes, streaming down his face. Taking his subtle eyeliner with it.
Seeing his father wouldn't be swayed, wouldn't listen, wouldn't even see him, Adrien lunged desperately for the door handle. The car rolled to a stop, but the door would not open, no matter how much he pulled on it. The car started up again, the Gorilla man, seeing that he wasn't about to roll out into the ground from a moving car.
And still the father wouldn't so much as glance at him, staring straight ahead, unmoved as ice.
Finally Adrien gave up on the door, crying in earnest. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed Marinette, seeing her small smile on her ID picture as he placed the call. He clutched the phone with both hands, and she answered his video call almost immediately.
From the angle of the mirror it was hard to see her, though her voice could be heard when she spoke. "Adrien." You could hear the smile, the soft delight when she said his name.
Adrien didn't give her a chance to see or react to his tears, speaking as soon as, or even before, his name died on her lips. "Marinette, I should have told you sooner, but up until the last minute I thought I'd find a solution," he confessed, tears and makeup streaking his face. "I tried everything, I swear," he said as he fought not to sob."
"Adrien?" she asked, concerned. "What... what's going on?"
"I have to leave Paris," he confessed. He lost the war and hunched in, eyes closing with fresh tears. "I'm not worthy of your love. I feel terrible for hurting you. I'm sorry." The words sounded like they were pulled out of him with barbed wire gloves. The connection cut and he collapsed into himself, phone dropping into his lap as he sobbed into his hands.
The car pulled into an airport, and through to the private airfield. The Gorilla man got out, got his suitcase, and then opened his door from the outside, leaving Adrien nowhere to go but the small staircase to the private jet. His father waited in the limo, seeming to not care. In the jet, the large man put the buckle on Adrien over not just his lap, but his arms as well, pinning his hands down, as if to ensure he would not escape before take off. Adrien was looking down at his trapped arms, so did not see what the mirror showed. The pained and sad expression on the face of the larger man.
But then a voice sounded from outside the plain. "ADRIEN!" It was the girl from the phone, Marinette.
Adrien gasped and he and the gorilla man looked out the jet window to see a young girl in a white and pink gown, on a moped, racing ahead of airport security towards their plane.
The gorilla man leaned over and unbuckled Adrien. Shocked, looked to him, but he grunted and nodded to the door. Adrien ran that way, out of the plane and down the small stairs as she was running up, her moped tossed to the ground with her helmet in her haste.
The pair met in the middle of the jet bridge stairs and grabbed onto each other, clinging as they kissed desperately.
"You!" his father yelled to the security agent who was just standing there watching the young couple, "separate them."
The security agent rushed up the stairs as the gorilla man rushed down and each physically grabbed one of the teens, trying to pull them apart. For a moment the two adults seemed to struggle, but it was clear that at least one of them hadn't really been trying, because a moment later he did and they came apart quickly.
Adrien and Marinette desperately tried to not let go, but they were overpowered, and soon were holding each other's arms, then wrists, then just hands. Something pressed from her hand into his as they were pulled fully apart.
Adrien was hauled into the plane, as she was hauled clear. The door closed as soon as he an the gorilla man were inside. Adrien was let go once the door was closed, and he collapsed into his seat. This time the Gorilla man buckled him in, leaving his hands free, for him to cry onto the small stone bead looking charm that Adrien was now holding.
"Why?" Adrien whispered, pain wrenching through him that he couldn't hide. He didn't even care who was there to see him. "Why would he take that risk, of letting this... why...?" He put his hands over his face and started to sob. "Father... why....?"