[For as quickly as the words come out, his voice is nearly a whisper. Without the fairy in front of him to focus on as the source of his suffering, he has no choice but to acknowledge it as a weakness. He can tell himself it's for the sake of protecting people all he wants, but the truth is always there hiding underneath. He isn't strong enough to accept everything the Fae represents.]
How can I, when all I wanted at the end of that was to—
[He clenches his jaw shut. Diving into the ocean for that mission, where he knew he'd get infected with that near-fatal plague. Staying to watch the final explosion so close, only surviving through the magic of a greater creature. Sacrificing his last link to his family, because there wasn't much point in a memento for people you'd see again so soon. Returning, willingly, to a world where he was trapped with no way out.
no subject
[For as quickly as the words come out, his voice is nearly a whisper. Without the fairy in front of him to focus on as the source of his suffering, he has no choice but to acknowledge it as a weakness. He can tell himself it's for the sake of protecting people all he wants, but the truth is always there hiding underneath. He isn't strong enough to accept everything the Fae represents.]
How can I, when all I wanted at the end of that was to—
[He clenches his jaw shut. Diving into the ocean for that mission, where he knew he'd get infected with that near-fatal plague. Staying to watch the final explosion so close, only surviving through the magic of a greater creature. Sacrificing his last link to his family, because there wasn't much point in a memento for people you'd see again so soon. Returning, willingly, to a world where he was trapped with no way out.
He was so, so miserable.]
... He won't trust me, anyway.