[It could've had a better segue than it sounding the way it did, sure. But at this point she's trying to gather her thoughts and nothing really sounds right to her. Words are refusing to gather in her thoughts, so she just lets them come out however they are. Things can't be perfect.
Now this? This is the hard part. It's also the part where the knots in her stomach tighten, and she can feel the anxiety kick in- her racing heart, the lightheadedness, the ever growing lump in her throat. Funny, for someone with so much confidence in herself and her words, that she falters now. But that's the fear of loss taking over. The possibility that Marui isn't going to like what she has to say, or how she says it. And what guy would? But if no guy would want her with this stipulation, then perhaps that's... just how it has to be. She'd focus on her career and simply be amazing at it.
She breaks eye contact with Marui for a moment, looking back down at her drink, feeling the swell of emotions hit her. Admitting this is tough. Saying it out loud is tough. And she feels a pang of regret and a sting in her eyes, but she's come this far. Taking a deep breath, she looks up at Marui and starts.]
Remember when I told you that I had to undergo serious physical therapy as a kid to be able to walk again? It was Jude that helped me through it. And that was... That was when I started developing feelings for him. So I... used to like him, you see. It never worked out though, he fell for someone else a few years ago and I sorta made peace with the fact that the most I could ever do is to be there for him, and make sure he's happy. Jude... really means a lot to me, and he's done so much for me that being there for him is the least I can do. If he's ever in trouble, or needs help, I would drop everything to do whatever I can for him. That's what I need you to understand. That just because my feelings for him have shifted, it doesn't make him any less important to me. I guess... you could say that he's become more like family to me.
[It's an assessment of their relationship that's been a long time coming. Jude only ever saw her as such, and it's only recently that she's started to accept it. Like around when Milla came into their lives.
Her hands tightly grasp the mug, urging herself to finish. She swallows, or tries her best to with that pesky lump in her throat.]
... I, I know a lot of guys might have a problem with that, because he's my former crush. But I wanted to be completely honest with you so that you trust me. And... if you're not okay with this, and would rather be friends, then I understand.
[Understand, but be thoroughly heartbroken. Which she leaves unsaid.]
no subject
Now this? This is the hard part. It's also the part where the knots in her stomach tighten, and she can feel the anxiety kick in- her racing heart, the lightheadedness, the ever growing lump in her throat. Funny, for someone with so much confidence in herself and her words, that she falters now. But that's the fear of loss taking over. The possibility that Marui isn't going to like what she has to say, or how she says it. And what guy would? But if no guy would want her with this stipulation, then perhaps that's... just how it has to be. She'd focus on her career and simply be amazing at it.
She breaks eye contact with Marui for a moment, looking back down at her drink, feeling the swell of emotions hit her. Admitting this is tough. Saying it out loud is tough. And she feels a pang of regret and a sting in her eyes, but she's come this far. Taking a deep breath, she looks up at Marui and starts.]
Remember when I told you that I had to undergo serious physical therapy as a kid to be able to walk again? It was Jude that helped me through it. And that was... That was when I started developing feelings for him. So I... used to like him, you see. It never worked out though, he fell for someone else a few years ago and I sorta made peace with the fact that the most I could ever do is to be there for him, and make sure he's happy. Jude... really means a lot to me, and he's done so much for me that being there for him is the least I can do. If he's ever in trouble, or needs help, I would drop everything to do whatever I can for him. That's what I need you to understand. That just because my feelings for him have shifted, it doesn't make him any less important to me. I guess... you could say that he's become more like family to me.
[It's an assessment of their relationship that's been a long time coming. Jude only ever saw her as such, and it's only recently that she's started to accept it. Like around when Milla came into their lives.
Her hands tightly grasp the mug, urging herself to finish. She swallows, or tries her best to with that pesky lump in her throat.]
... I, I know a lot of guys might have a problem with that, because he's my former crush. But I wanted to be completely honest with you so that you trust me. And... if you're not okay with this, and would rather be friends, then I understand.
[Understand, but be thoroughly heartbroken. Which she leaves unsaid.]