songerein | [Catch-All]

Entry tags:

[Catch-All]

Who: Old Man Nier and YOU
Which: Open Log + Interactive Dream
Where: Reverein fields, the town itself, Nier's home village
What: Catch-All for March 2022. Old Man tends fields and mends fences. Old Man picks up orange hate feathers. Old Man picks herbs for Jude and co clinic. Old Man dreams of his home town where no one there seems to know him at all.
Warnings: Probably nothing worth mentioning. Will update as necessary

01. 'Spring'ing into Action

[Just the thought of working in the fields makes him think of older, more simpler days. Although he supposes in retrospect, there was nothing simple about them. Yonah had once asked him to grow her watermelons and somehow, he'd managed to accomplish it. Never does he consider himself an accomplished man of gardens and growing, but when he thinks about the amount of time he spent trying to cultivate a Lunar Tear, then he supposes he might be underestimating himself.

It's provided him a great reason to busy himself. To busy his thoughts. To think less about what happens when he leaves. If he leaves. If the others leave. He wants none of this. Instead, he's focused on the situation at hand. Or at least, he pretends he is. Honestly, he's more caught up in his thoughts than he'd like to be.

Fences are where he's chosen to begin. A decent number of them were damaged and before any planting can begin, they'll need to be tended to. He's in the process of covering some breaks, knelt down, pensive and probably up until the next few moments, has likely been a little quiet. Whether it's approaching footsteps or those being led elsewhere, he's not shy about speaking up.]

Get me that hammer, would you? I left it back there somewhere.

[He jerks his right hand over his shoulder indicatively. Help an old man out?]

02. I'm Not Angry; You're Angry!

[There's no shortage of things to be done in Reverein and Nier is usually more than happy to keep himself occupied by taking on any number of requests from the locals, which seem to be growing in number as the days go by. Gathering feathers seems like a relatively monotonous and unexciting task, which means it ought to be something he can get done in short order.

He's wandering around the town and along its outskirts to gather them, looking high and low. By this point, he's already managed to collect a few, which he has tucked into his somewhat barbaric-looking garb. Nier's a man with a lot of heart, though more than once he's lost his cool in the face of the circumstance. Where he'd normally be a rather patient man, it seems said patience is in absent supply today.]

Hey. You just gonna stand there, or do you feel like moving?

[He's had days where he was nicer.]

03. Go Green or Go Home

[When Jude announced the opening of the clinic, Nier was very quick to jump onto the idea of being able to supply him regularly with useful herbs, plants, and other like things in the forest. It reminds him of the times he's done something of the same for Popola. The names might change, but the situation always seems to be the same. In that respect, it's kind of nice. Something familiar. Just the thought leaves him comforted.

Whatever reason you might have for being out there, it won't be hard to spot him. Nier doesn't blend in well with the surroundings. On the contrary, he kind of stands out. And if he finds you, there's a very good chance he'll be nosy and want to figure out what you're up to. Why not lend him a temporary travelling partner?

Don't mind him as he's huddled down close to the ground, trying to get up a plant without destroying it completely.]

04. Home is Where the Heart Is (Unless You're Nier) - Interactive Dream

[...What is this place? It's a seemingly quiet and laid-back village, many of the structures appearing rundown and touched by the elements of time. There are people by the fountain not far from a dilapidated house.

Up the hill, along a variety of wooden steps that are in slight disrepair, there's a library with no shortage of books and a room that doesn't seem to make much sense.

Gates exist in different cardinal directions that lead outside of the village, each guarded for the safety of the village inhabitants.

Down in the market plaza, there's no shortage of item shops, and a plethora of relatively friendly villagers, who are ever willing to ask for assistance with their daily errands. A tavern, where a pretty girl named Devola plays music and sings a song. And on the docks behind, a little boat willing to take you to places called Seafront and some other main settlements that exist outside of the village.

It's a nice place, if not a little bit sparse. But it's the place that he calls home. He can easily be found wandering through the town, into the library, but spends the most amount of his time at his house, perhaps with his face in a very particular diary. His daughter, Yonah, is also here, and she may seem a little perplexed about what you're doing in her house, but she'll be very polite.

It's no real big surprise to him personally, but it seems like no one in this town knows a Nier. Not even Yonah. Who could this mysterious man be?]

[OOC: Please feel free to wander around the village by yourself, with a friend, or visit Nier. Character thoughts and feelings may affect the surroundings and the things witnessed, or experienced in this place.
Please also forgive how small these images seemed to be. Evidently larger images from Gestalt are difficult to come by. I may update these at a later point.
There is no restricted access to the town and its inhabitants. Do note that given this is also Brother Nier's home village, he has the same influences that Old Man Nier has here.]

05. Wildcard

[If the above don't strike your fancy, please select this option for whatever something special we might be doing. You can plot with me via PMs, discord (available upon request), and by contacting me via ofthesky.]

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[Whenever Nier thinks of the Forest of Myth, he remembers the leader. The others who were locked into their dreams. That silent, sombre disease that threatened to pull its victims into a world of endless slumber. In many ways, the world that Reverein lingers in makes him think of it. It's also a dream world and sometimes Nier feels like he's just infinitely drifting through a dream that he can't rouse himself from. Even if he were to, he has no world in which to return. There's no place waiting for him. No person waiting for him.

Nier is a man without a home. Without a country. Without a region. Without a soul who would know him. He has only himself and the purgatory that he's imposed upon himself in the name of what he believed to be the right course of action.

The Forest of Myth that he finds is the same one that he's familiar with. A quiet and eerie silence lingering in the air where it's as if he can hear every creak of a tree branch and every whisper of the wind that flutters past the ear. The people in the forest, few in number they are, the tree in the centre that seems to be the one connected to all of the others, it's just as he remembers it. Except the people are sleeping. In this dream world of his, they sleep.

...He wonders why. He's saved them, after all. Not just once.

His footsteps echo as he moves past barren trees, lacking the lush greenery that would make them more welcoming. Instead, they look like the frightening dark arms belonging to a monster in a children's story book. The last time he was here, he had Weiss. Kainé. Emil. Now he has only himself.

Why has he come here? A familiar feeling tugs upon his heart. Something heavy with burden and ache.]

[The only nice thing about the Mizuhanome System was that she could dream and forget. Over and over for each Id well, she would become Kaeru, die, rinse and repeat. She would never remember her true self, and each death would not build up in her mind unless awoken. Such deep sleep was how a part of her heart was able to heal. Only a fraction, but it was something. She has been blessed with no dreams since her arrival in Songerein-- which, in itself, has been an almost-perfect haven for her. The only downside is remembering; she may not have to die in her dreams or in this one, but the memories still creep upon her waking mind. Distractions and learning how to...simply be around people have helped greatly.

But that doesn't mean others don't dream.

Since learning about dreamwalking, Kiki has avoided all lanterns she's noticed in passing. Her powers may have been restrained, but it's better not to test new waters. Who knows how she could affect the dream, the dreamer, or even herself. The last thing she wants is to become broken (again) within this sort of paradise. Curiosity would not even tempt her to voluntarily peek. In fact, the moment she spots the active dream lantern, the psych turns to walk away only for something to grab her roughly...

Kiki remembers herself. That alone is enough to send a chill down her spine. This is also not an Id well, therefore she does not know the truth of this world. Would she corrupt this dream now, would she be fated to die? And...who was she meant to be? The length and color of her hair is different, but without a mirror she's not sure what else has changed. Except she could care less about appearances. This desolate place practically screams death, and any sort of sound that breaks the silence makes her startle.

If she must die, shouldn't she just get it over with?

It's a thought that crosses her mind as she sneaks between trees and shadows. The option tempts her. It wouldn't be the first time she's accelerated her death to avoid a drawn out, torturous one. Unfortunately for Kiki, the dark idea creates her own undoing. The tree she just ducked behind almost roars to life as its bark and branches crackle and warp. A gaping hole in the trunk opens up to swallow the psychic whole, dragging her inside by teeming roots that begin to dig into her limbs.

She screams from surprise and pain, but never for help. Because no one has ever been there to rescue her before.]

[Nier is still piecing together the steps from the past that have brought him to the very present moment. A bizarre turn of events with what seemed to be a witty, tongue-in-cheek narrator, and Weiss with his own brand of sarcastic retaliation. And even his own input where he was applied descriptors he wouldn't have chosen for himself. Every trip to the Forest of Myth has been an interesting one at the very least.

This one seems that it will be no different.

It pierces the heavy silence and at first, Nier wonders if he's heard it at all or if it's some grand delusion of his own. This isn't the first time he's dreamt of home. It's not the first time he's found himself locked into thoughts of the past, wishing for a place to belong. The home he's been so well-acquainted with, even this place, he understands that to visit it would mean to everyone there, he's just a stranger. Why visit a place he has no position in?

He discovers quickly enough with hastened paces, the grasp on his grand two-handed sword tightening, that the scream is quite real. But it's to whom it belongs that stumps him entirely. Why is... she here? His daughter has never seen the forest. She's barely even left the village, except to go wherever the Shadowlord saw fit to take her. Answers to questions he'll never get.

He would know her anywhere. Just the sight of her makes his sense flee him, turn tail and disappear into proverbial shadows and silhouettes. But that's always been the kind of man he is. Excessively dedicated to her. He would fight through anything to get to her time and again.]

Yonah!

[His voice is gruff and sharp, rough and as tinted by age and circumstance as his appearance. In the emptiness of the forest, he is as boisterous as her scream. No shade could keep him from her. No tree shall either, as he's determined to prove.]

Just hold on! I'll get you out!

[She should be used to it all. Metal cutting into her skin, the pressure of ropes digging into her sides, being pulled at all angles to the very limit of her muscles and bones. The roots act as a combination of deaths she's already experienced, so why can't she just give in? The white, hot pain of being burrowed into makes Kiki's head spin. The scream turns into a series of defeated groans as the roots suspend her movement while invading her flesh.

Bellowing enters her consciousness, and she wonders if the worst has yet to come. How much more would this nightmare make her suffer?

..."hold on"? Kiki wasn't even aware that she had shut her eyes, but now they crack open. The notion of someone coming to her aid is unprecedented. As if sensing the intruder, the roots stop digging into the psychic so that they may begin forming something like a cocoon. It will get harder to breathe, she thinks, yet suffocation would be an easier death.

But if he's truly determined to free her...]

Don't...pull. [The words are pitched with pain and muffled by the tree's efforts.] Cut.

Edited 2022-03-20 18:57 (UTC)

[They're on the same page. He's oblivious to the thoughts rolling around in her head. He's oblivious to a lot of things going on. All he can see is what's in front of him. In this world, he knows not everything is what it seems to be. Maybe all of that logic and rationale just leaves him when Yonah plays a part in the equation. He'd believe that.

He's a lout when it comes to her, maybe. And maybe Kainé and the others aren't so excluded from that either. Maybe it's just him with a heart that's far too big for his own good.

Either way, he hears the words and he's already to work on it. The grand sword at his back comes down and he's wasting little time in trying to carve his way to her. Carve her way to freedom. With as much care as he can that he not somehow exacerbate the situation she's already in.

...Why is she here? Why is she here??]

Y'gotta tell me if it hurts. I'm gonna do my best. Hang in there!

[He's desperate. It's a feeling he's not had enough time away from. It feels like he had it recently, though he has no way of knowing how long it's been since he sacrificed his existence. It's the same panic coursing along his veins, reminding him of why life itself is so important.]

[Tell him if it hurts-- the notion pulls a noise out of her. Something between a bitter laugh and a pained sigh. She must appear to be someone very important to him because any time she's heard that sort of comment would be a morbid jest from her murderer's mouth. Nevertheless, Kiki tries to do the exact opposite. Her bottom lip is bitten into to prevent cries as the hacking jostles the roots that have dug in. At least Nier's efforts are enough that the tree begins to recoil. One particular heave of his sword cuts at the bundle that restrains her arms upright, and she sags forward while the remaining roots relinquish her. All that's left are the remnants still buried in her skin, but they grow still after a few dying twitches.

Kiki is silent beyond the initial breathless gasps after her release. Everything hurts. Which is why, when the psychic finally finds her voice, she croaks out cold words:]

If I'm not the one you're looking for, would you put an end to me?

[The moment she begins to draw forward, he catches her against him and almost immediately drops his sword in favour of taking her into his arms. For moments, too many moments he simply holds her to him protectively. It feels like it's been too long since he's seen her. Since he's placed eyes on her. Since he's been in her space. Even back then, offering himself up, sacrificing all he'd known and wanted, he'd not gotten to spend more than moments with her.

To him, it feels like ages. He buries his face into her hair, but what he hears from her makes him suddenly pause and he begins to draw back. The furrow of his brow is undeniable. Transparent. Clear as day.]

What? What are you—

[He shakes his head at her.] I don't know what you mean. I'm not gonna do anything like that. Don't you know who you are? Don't you know who I am?

[Something is...off. The years of being killed in her dreams has allowed her to withstand some pain, but the way her throat tightens as the man pulls back strikes a chord in her mind. The concern painted in his expression, his words-- none of it is truly for her. That much is acceptable. She's received remorse from Sakaido, as programmed as the Mizuhanome had made the brilliant detective that way. Even Momoki had been looking for her after her disappearance and was deeply saddened that there would be no happy ending. She had been grateful for all those sentiments to fill the void of her past. Yet there's a quality of Nier's worry that grates at her nerves, and it is neither the fact that she's the wrong recipient nor the fact that he will not end her suffering.

Still, Kiki can't put her finger on it.]

Do I look like your daughter? [It's an easy guess to make. Wouldn't be the first time.] Asking you to kill me while I look like her... Of course you wouldn't accept. Sorry.

[The psychic grimaces as she tries to move her arms, drawing out some blood from the puncture points. Adding to the stains drying on her skin. No good, they're practically locked in place thanks to the dead roots. She'll have to find a tall enough place to fall from then...]

I would not be able to know who you are, but I'm...Kaeru. [Hope beyond hope that she won't remember this dream when she wakes, although the fact that she knows her true name does not bode well.]

["Do I look like you're daughter?"

They are chilling words. It's not the first time in a dreamscape that Nier has been under some misguided conception that he's seen or heard glimpses of his daughter. When he gives all of that consideration, the idea that his desire to see her is so strong that he'd project her image onto someone else isn't really surprising at all. Before, it had only seemed proverbial in the sense that he'd been attempted to rein that back.

Here he is now.

He's still wrapping his head around it. Doesn't really understand what's happening or why. As he studies her, he can only see his daughter's face, and at first, he's hesitant to believe she should think her name is 'Kaeru' and not 'Yonah.' But the words that dropped from her before... Yonah never would have said anything like that.

Eventually his response follows. It's not nearly as solid as he'd like it to be, but it is what it is.]

Obvious questions aside, I'm not just gonna kill someone because they ask me to.

[He slays monsters. Beasts. Things that aren't people, if he can help it.]

I'm guessing you look the way you do because of me. This is my dream, or something. More like a nightmare, honestly. [He shakes his head. He might act like he's taking this all well, but he's really not.] You hurt anywhere?

...I tend to turn dreams into nightmares, so this result may not be entirely yours.

[Perhaps it's his dawning realization that allows her to turn back. Not completely, just a subtle detail: bright green eyes dulled by despondency.

His question doesn't receive a verbal response. Instead, Kiki raises her arms stiffly, trying not to bend at the elbows. The leftovers of the roots look like many medical leads buried under her skin. She could yank them out, potentially force herself into shock. Except that would mean having to retreat, and the psychic is unsure if Nier would let her out of his sights now. Still, he should know the truth, and she's never been able to keep a secret.]

In my own dreams, I can't wake up unless I die. [Kiki's flat smile is far from hopeful.] But if you wake up, maybe I'll be forced out too.

[He finds that hard to believe. She turns dreams to nightmares. It hardly sounds like something one would offer up so easily. He knows how cruel people can be when it comes to those who are different, complex, or nuanced.

When she offers her arms, he draws in a breath. Leaning in to get a good look, he can see where the roots have begun to creep way into her. He wonders if it's even wise to remove them. When they get under the skin... He doesn't like the thought of digging around underneath. But if it's rendering her immobile, who does that help anyway.

...Can't he just carry her right on out of here?

"In my own dreams, I can't wake up unless I die."

Very slowly he turns his attention onto her and for several long moments, he simply watches her, as if he's trying to decipher truth from fiction, though he suspects he has little reason not to believe her. Whether that's hopefulness in others or simply naivety on his part, it's hard to say.]

I don't think you'll get caught in here if there's no 'here' to exist. This place is only here because of me. I'm sure there's a way out. Probably the same as the way in.

[Slowly lowering her arms, Kiki observes Nier in return. A fighter, obviously, and if she didn't know how kind he was (at least to his daughter), then she may have worried that she ran into another person similar to the Challenger. At least her thoughts don't leak out inside an individual dream; curious things like what happened to his eye, what did he do for a living, and what his daughter is like. If she was truly Kaeru and if she absorbed this dream into herself, she would understand all of it. But she doesn't. Still, it's easier to focus on everything else aside from the aches and pains vibrating through her limbs.]

It must have been your dream lantern I saw. That's the last thing I remember before ending up here... [Her voice begins to change now. Slowly but surely, from Yonah's to Kiki's.]

If you're going to go look for it in here, I'll only slow you down.

[Besides, she'd rather be out of sight when she does what he won't.]

My dream lantern.

[Right. That's how that works. It's how he got into Tifa's, after all. Lured there by the sound of a child. A child he thought was his daughter. With how bull-headed he can be, it's a wonder he's still alive. He's just about always walking into the jaws of death when he's got Yonah on his mind. Even in a world where he's not even sure that she'd remember who he is. That's quite possibly the saddest part of that.

When she continues, he shakes his head at her.]

No, you won't. I can handle it. Believe me, I've seen some things. [Some. Things. And things aren't ever going to stop him from what he wants. Not today. Not years before. Not years into the future. Nier is a man of fortune and will seek his fortune and nothing will impede that from happening.]

So up you go.

[He offers a hand down to her and then his other.]

I'm gonna put you on my shoulder. I'll keep you steady. We're not gonna see anything in here scarier than me.

[Now it's Kiki's turn to be caught off-guard. Sure, he seems strong enough, but how stable would that be? Or comfortable for him. She eyes his shoulder before tentatively putting her hand is his. So much for finding her own way out.]

I've never done something like that before...

[Not that she had much interaction with her parents the moment her power began to ruin her life.]

And you're not scary.

[Maybe at first when he could have been her newest killer, but she's learned quickly of the big heart under his rough exterior. Which is why Kiki doesn't question the motive of his assistance. She made it perfectly clear she is not his daughter, so there could be a sense of general obligation that it's his dream. Nevertheless, his willingness to help is given easily; she can trust him.]

[The moment she sets her hand in his, Nier lifts her with ease right onto his shoulder, keeping a hand atop her to keep her steady. That's evidently what he's meant. There are other ways for him to hold her, but this way, he can keep a hand free to make use of his sword strapped to his back. He doesn't expect to need it, but he has it in case he needs to.

He looks up at her to make sure she's good. Kaeru, maybe. But he still sees Yonah. He doesn't doubt that part of his assistance is because of that, however... It's always more than that. In Reverein, Yonah's not even there. It's important that he use his strength to protect and help others who need it. There's no longer any benefit to being obsessed with saving his daughter, after all.

At her assessment of him, he barks out a laugh. It's a surprisingly genuine sound, considering the circumstances.]

I'm not scary to you. Beasts and Shades here? I'm not sure they'd agree.

[Wearing a small little turn of the mouth, he scouts around them. Although he's sure he's cleared the way upon his way in, it's better not to become complacent.]

How'd you find your way in here? I have a hell of a lot more questions, but I doubt you'd have the answers to them and I'm not sure I even want them. But maybe figuring out how you got here will help me figure out how to get us both out.

[Despite being quick about situating her, Kiki still has to grit her teeth from the jostling. Not that she holds it against him. The pain is somehow easier to ignore when she's taking on a new perspective and wondering how this man can be so strong. (Then again, she never weighed much.) Wide-eyed and taking in the new height, the psychic takes care to hold as still as possible while holding on. She's so preoccupied, he can probably feel her startle a little at the laugh.]

Shades are monsters? [Kiki's tone has lightened a tad as curiosity pushes back the gloom. Slighty.] Nonhuman monsters aren't real in my world.

[She pauses to ponder his question a moment. Aside from being drawn in, her memory feels fuzzy--]

All I remember is noticing the lantern and trying to get away. I did't want to turn anyone's dream into a nightmare...but it felt like someone yanked on my arm and I woke up here. I tried hiding...

[And then he found her in that terrible predicament.]

Edited 2022-04-03 04:37 (UTC)

[His footing pauses at any particular moments of tension. She's already in a precarious position. He doesn't want to hurt her any further if he can help it and he doubts that anywhere he takes her is going to be a perfect misadventure. She deserves better, he's almost certain of it. But he's still stuck on the things she's said before. The need to die in a dream, a nightmare before she can be released from said state...

It's all hard to take in.]

Don't hold yourself responsible for it. You don't really know what my home world was like before you, but I can promise it really wasn't the best place. Nightmarish? Definitely sometimes. You aren't responsible for that.

[She's noticed a lantern, however... Maybe he can find it? He doesn't even know where to begin looking and it doesn't sound like she's particularly familiar enough with the landmarks. It sounds almost like she got drawn in against her will. Maybe the village will be able to help?

Unlikely, honestly.]

You doing okay up there? We'll figure this out. I came in from my home village, so I'm thinking we'll go back there.

Is that so... [The tree may have been her fault unintentionally, but if he seems to recognize the rest of the dreamscape as (relatively) normal, then maybe she shouldn't worry. Maybe. It's hard not to be cautious even when she wants to believe in Nier. As for him checking up on her, Kiki nods:]

Yes, this is fine. [Practically a luxury since she's never been treated so kindly in a dream.] If we get to you village, we could try finding a regular lantern. If we applied dreamotion energy to it, it could transform. Although I'm not very good at using it...

[More like she doesn't trust that energy from her would screw things up somehow. Which is why she goes quiet for awhile before speaking up again.]

Do you normally carry your daughter like this?

That's a good idea.

[Regular lanterns they can definitely hunt down. Shouldn't have too much difficulty tracking one either. He offers her a reassuring smile. Or as close to reassuring as he can manage. Nier always tries his best to be exactly that, but admittedly he's certain he's not particularly good at it. At least the intentions are there. If they mean anything at all.]

I've carried her in many different ways. Sometimes on my back. Sometimes in my arms. Sometimes on my shoulder. Usually however she wanted to be carried.

[But it's been a while since he has. Over five years, he's sure. Would she even have let him hold her? He's unsure.]

I know you said you're not her. I believe that. Don't get it, but I do believe you. I'll try not to treat you like her too much.

Mn, as long as you understand. [It's good to get confirmation.] I don't know why I become like this. It's happened before, but I never wanted to ruin a memory of someone important. Maybe deep down I wanted to be someone else, but I wouldn't want to steal an identity either.

[The words sound like a confession, yet they roll off her tongue so easily. Like talking about the weather. Kiki's inability to lie has made her as such: honest to a fault. It's not an easy life when all your secrets are laid bare on the daily, and it's made keeping friends even harder.]

...Sorry. Sitting up here makes me wonder if my father held me this way when I was young. I can't say it's nostalgic, but it's...nice in a way.

[It takes her mind off her wounds at least.]

[But does he really understand? He can't be certain. He knows if he even bothers to ask, there's likely no amount of answers that would adequately provide him with a comprehensive explanation. It sounds like just another situation that's potentially complicated beyond what he feels is even a necessity.

What he does feel is a certain empathetic input. The desire to be someone else. He's certain he's had it from time to time. Of course, he wouldn't change anything. Things have happened the way they have for a reason. But maybe once upon a time he would have been more inclined to desire a different life. A different identity.

She shares of herself freely and he admires that. He's so accustomed to secrecy and quiet. Modesty. Shame. Not from himself. There aren't many things for him to hide, after all.]

You don't remember much of your father?

[It leads to a slew of new, additional questions. Maybe she was young when she lost him. Maybe she's... thousands of years old and the memories have faded with time. He'd love to claim he's exaggerating on the latter, but he fully expects to discover more things that seem impossible.]

It's not so much an issue of remembering as it is a lack of interaction. He should still be alive along with my mother.

[Kiki's tone remains neutral for the most part. In fact, a part of her wonders why she isn't more upset about it. The illusion of being loved isn't there, so maybe there's nothing to miss. It's not as if many people remember their early childhood, right? Still, she shouldn't say nasty things about family even if she has been estranged from them.]

...I don't blame them. Where I live, people expect a certain norm. To fit in. I couldn't even if I wanted to. [And just because she expects a retort about society or her parents being better, the psychic continues quickly after a pause:]

It's more complicated than that. Imagine how powerless it feels to have your daughter unable to lie because of a power that shouldn't exist. There's no room to hide the littlest things in the house, and she can't be with others without being called a freak or taken away. Then she starts having endless nightmares that feel too real. They won't stop no matter how much you try to help her, so all that's left is to watch her suffer.

[Kiki's grip on the hand keeping her in place tightens. Not enough to hurt, but it's something of a reaction towards her family history.]

[...Lack of interaction. She phrases it so delicately, but Nier gets the point rather easily. He's simply not a part of her life. He doesn't know the story and he doesn't feel inclined to ask, but it's nothing good. That's obvious. As a result, he simply nods along.

At least until she starts sounding resigned. He isn't sure what she's done, but it can't be worthy of a parent's lack of... presence.]

No matter how complicated this might be, you're making it sound like you deserved this and I don't buy that for a minute.

[He huffs out a breath and when she grips his hand, he turns his attention up to her, offering her the same in return. Is it reassurance? He doesn't know how to give someone in her situation that. She's got a lot brewing under the surface. He never would have guessed it from the initial meeting. He almost doesn't believe in the present, but she wouldn't have anything to gain from speaking false.]

You don't deserve it. Sounds to me like they didn't know how to handle things. And because they didn't know, they were either too afraid to figure it out or they just didn't care enough to try.

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[Catch-All]

For Kiki — @longsilence

cw: suicidal thoughts

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sorry for the wait

Take all the time you need!

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