Following the wise words of Sun Tzu—"know your enemy"—I conducted a bit of research on capsaicinoids. [ Namely, how to best to mitigate its heat with a bit of chemistry, but he leaves that part out. Though ... his voice sounds a bit thick? ] Imagine ... these poor peppers spent so many thousands of years evolving an effective deterrent, only for humans to stroll up and delight in the agony of it.

[ He picks up a bite with his fork (very heavy on the rice), and stuffs it in his mouth, barely bothering to chew. Even with his "preparations" the less contact made with his insides, the better, right? ]

Mmmm.