[Barok does not hesitate to admit it. He nods, folding his arms.]

Yes. From the start of that life-defining trial... I managed every case I had with as little assistance as possible. Saw to every detail myself. And when that burden became too heavy, I fled to another complex process to control, lest I give myself time to feel.

[Those five years he was away from the Old Bailey did very little for him, in terms of emotional processing. He gave himself a moment or two, but they were far too short for the impact his brother's death and the surrounding circumstances had; he can recognize that.]

Even now, I occasionally find myself escaping to those habits. There is... much I have yet to confront.

[But he shakes his head; he's not here to ask for Susato's sympathy.]

I pray you may learn from my poor example.