Noctis Lucis Caelum (
sleepsalot) wrote in
songerein2023-05-02 06:19 pm
Entry tags:
1 ⋙ closed log
Who: Noctis Lucis Caelum and Prompto Argentum
Which: Closed Log
Where: Prompto's tree-houose
What: They gotta talk about what happened after the dreamcatcher ooze
Warnings: likely talk about torture and all of the other bad times they had, will add more if needed
[ Trying to live some sort of normal life in Reverein was challenging, to say the least. Coming to grips with the fact that this reality was a dream and that life was operating as normal back on Eos, in Gralea or wherever they were by now was unsettling given what they were going through when both Noctis and Prompto showed up before being whisked away to the masquerade ball. And then there's the element of dreamotion, which Noctis has had such an incredibly difficult time harnessing; it brings his situation back home to the forefront of his mind, thinking about how he's struggled there, too. The whole situation just... sucks.
He has Prompto here with him to help him through this transition period, though, and he's here to help Prompto do the same. They were always on the same page, always operating on the same wavelength. Noctis is fairly certain that Ignis would likely argue that they shared a single braincell. Things had been going well, he thinks.
Had been being the key.
Going back into the castle was a mistake and one he'll readily admit, and he knows without having to ask that Prompto will agree. Seeing daemonic versions of Ravus and Lunafreya, of his father, did nothing but set him back fifty steps... And hearing Ardyn's voice, that infuriating voice that echoed in his ear as he raced through Zegnautus Keep trying to find Prompto, shattered every bit of himself he'd been trying to put back together. The way Prompto just froze when his own fears brought about an ooze covered Ardyn stays in his mind, it's an image he can't seem to shake. They barely had time to talk after they found Prompto back in Gralea; Noctis doesn't even know the half of what happened to him after he pushed him off of the train. Hearing and seeing Ardyn in the castle explains why they've barely spoken in the past few days, why he can see right through Prompto's smiles and sunshine he's showing to everybody else.
He drags himself off of his bed and scrubs a hand over his face, having made the decision that they need to talk and the sooner the better, because things just weren't the same between them right now and he hates it, hates seeing his best friend like this. So, after a minute debating on when to have this talk, he settles with it's now or never. It's Prompto, they've had heart-to-hearts before, talked about tough shit, so why is he nervous? There's nothing to be nervous about... right?
Shaking the thought from his head, and trying to calm himself, Noctis makes his way across the small bridge that separates their treehouses and opens the door (because why would he knock? it's Prompto. Best friend privileges or something like that). ]
Prom? You home?
Which: Closed Log
Where: Prompto's tree-houose
What: They gotta talk about what happened after the dreamcatcher ooze
Warnings: likely talk about torture and all of the other bad times they had, will add more if needed
[ Trying to live some sort of normal life in Reverein was challenging, to say the least. Coming to grips with the fact that this reality was a dream and that life was operating as normal back on Eos, in Gralea or wherever they were by now was unsettling given what they were going through when both Noctis and Prompto showed up before being whisked away to the masquerade ball. And then there's the element of dreamotion, which Noctis has had such an incredibly difficult time harnessing; it brings his situation back home to the forefront of his mind, thinking about how he's struggled there, too. The whole situation just... sucks.
He has Prompto here with him to help him through this transition period, though, and he's here to help Prompto do the same. They were always on the same page, always operating on the same wavelength. Noctis is fairly certain that Ignis would likely argue that they shared a single braincell. Things had been going well, he thinks.
Had been being the key.
Going back into the castle was a mistake and one he'll readily admit, and he knows without having to ask that Prompto will agree. Seeing daemonic versions of Ravus and Lunafreya, of his father, did nothing but set him back fifty steps... And hearing Ardyn's voice, that infuriating voice that echoed in his ear as he raced through Zegnautus Keep trying to find Prompto, shattered every bit of himself he'd been trying to put back together. The way Prompto just froze when his own fears brought about an ooze covered Ardyn stays in his mind, it's an image he can't seem to shake. They barely had time to talk after they found Prompto back in Gralea; Noctis doesn't even know the half of what happened to him after he pushed him off of the train. Hearing and seeing Ardyn in the castle explains why they've barely spoken in the past few days, why he can see right through Prompto's smiles and sunshine he's showing to everybody else.
He drags himself off of his bed and scrubs a hand over his face, having made the decision that they need to talk and the sooner the better, because things just weren't the same between them right now and he hates it, hates seeing his best friend like this. So, after a minute debating on when to have this talk, he settles with it's now or never. It's Prompto, they've had heart-to-hearts before, talked about tough shit, so why is he nervous? There's nothing to be nervous about... right?
Shaking the thought from his head, and trying to calm himself, Noctis makes his way across the small bridge that separates their treehouses and opens the door (because why would he knock? it's Prompto. Best friend privileges or something like that). ]
Prom? You home?

no subject
A lot of hurt.
Prompto is having nightmare after nightmare. He's got huge bags under his eyes despite his smiles. When he thinks no one is looking, he's staring off into the distance lost in thought and memory.
He knows he has to be stronger than this. He knows he has to shake it. It's just so hard. He knows Noctis doesn't need to feel more guilt for what happened. It wasn't his fault. He came for him, he saved him, Prompto owes him an incredible debt. He was trying so hard not to fall apart.
There's nothing to hide behind in this dream world. He's being forced to face his fears head on and he's scared. Terrified.
Prompto's balcony door opens to a kitchen with an eat-in table. The doorway leads into the living room and Prompto had been dozing a little bit. A new habit he's picked up with the sheer lack of ordinary sleep.
At the moment his face is filled with the raw expression of hurt, exhaustion and he's barely rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before he registers Noct is even there. ]
Hey dude, 'sup? [ He asks, tilting his head a little. He looks so tired and weary, but still he summons a smile for Noctis, one that doesn't reach his eyes. ]
no subject
He sighs, leaning back into the sofa and looking up at the ceiling, focused on nothing in particular. It's always been easy to talk to Prompto. Or, it had been easy, before everything happened. Everything had been easy before the Empire murdered his father, before he had to fight to win the favor of the Six and take on the role of King of Lucis, before Ardyn inserted himself into their business.
Now, it's... hard.
But he can't shut himself off like he did after his fight against the Hydrean, after everything that happened in Altissia. Gladio made sure he learned that, at the very least, that he couldn't just shut down, that everybody else was struggling, too. ]
You look like shit.
[ There you go, Noctis. Perfect way to start a conversation... Said nobody ever. ]
no subject
He was tired and overwrought and he was trying to keep it together, but Noctis' bluntness makes Prompto sink down a little bit, all of his effort to do that just melting away. ]
Yeah, uh, thanks.
[ Not the best opening, not the best answer either. Prompto can't deny it, but he gives a joke another try. ]
I haven't put my face on yet, you're not supposed to see that. [ Is it funny? It might be if he didn't sound so devastated at the same time. ]
no subject
[ Okay, so, conversation started probably worse than it could have had he started with "We need to talk." Noctis closes his eyes, groaning, because he knows he fucked that one up. And he has no room to talk, looking just as horrible and sleep-deprived as his best friend looks. It's several seconds before he opens his eyes, looking over at Prompto. ]
We need to talk.
[ Starting there, while not the best way to start... seems like it's probably the only way to start this conversation that he knows neither he nor Prompto want to have. It's hard, talking about everything they've been through since leaving Altissia. They haven't done that, not a word, and it needs to happen... needed to happen. ]
About everything.
no subject
Prompto sighs and shifts in his seat. Anyone else he might've told them to piss off but it's Noctis and he can't do that. ]
I don't think we do.
[ It's a soft counter, there's not much conviction behind it. Noctis' hunch is right, Prompto doesn't want to have this conversation. In fact, he'd like to just forget the last little while on Eos happened. ]
I know I screwed up. [ He totally dissociated on Noct and that's on him. He needs to...not do that. He needs to be better than that. ] It won't happen again. Promise.
[ He can't realistically make that promise, but he's going to try anyway. ]
no subject
[ Dragging a hand across his face, he can't believe what he's hearing. Prompto did nothing wrong, not a single fucking thing... And yet, here he is apologizing for, well, Noctis doesn't even know what for. When he speaks again, his voice is still soft, and he sounds every bit as defeated as he feels. ]
You didn't screw up.
[ He exhales slowly, finally turning a bit on the couch to look at Prompto. This is going... poorly. ]
We haven't even had a chance to talk about anything since we found you in Gralea, last thing I remember was leaving you and the guys in a horde of daemons and going off on my own.
[ And that was hard enough on its own. ]
We can't keep ignoring all this shit.
no subject
I did though. I'm not supposed to drag you down. I swore I wouldn't, I- [ Prompto is insecure, he always has been but the experience he went through didn't help. Not at all. He sighs, not really sure how he's going to convince Noctis he screwed up. He isn't going to be able to. ]
I'd...rather ignore it. Just pretend it didn't happen.
[ That was his plan. The best plan. ]
no subject
[ This is what he was afraid of, Prompto closing in, shutting down, and doing... exactly what he figured he'd do. There is no amount of words Noctis that could possibly convey how much Prompto means to him, how much he relies on him, and how much lifts him up when he needs the reassurance due to his own lack of self-confidence. Having a best friend who just gets him is more than the young King could ever ask for.
And seeing that best friend like this, seeing that their relationship is strained due to all of the unspoken weight between them?
Yeah, it needs to stop. ]
But we can't just ignore all of this and pretend it didn't happen. That's not going to help either one of us.
[ If one of the Six could strike them both down, it may be easier than actually having this conversation. ]
I asked you to stand by my side, be a member of my Crownsguard if I ever get to take the throne, and look at what it got you. [ He sighs ] I should start by apologizing to you for dragging you into this mess in the first place.
no subject
He doesn't feel the strain, but it's not surprising. He grimaces at the point that they can't just forget it.
Then Noctis continues and his eyes go wide, Prompto sucks in a gasp. ]
Are you freakin' serious right now? [ He leans forward to grasp Noctis' hand if he'll let him have it. ]
I wanted to come! I wanted to do that! [ That's the first point, but he frowns and glances away. Does Noctis regret asking him? ]
You probably saved my life anyway. [ He mumbled. ] Not that many people made it out of Insomnia. I'd probably have died...and and...and you came for me! You made it stop!
no subject
[ Because seeing Prompto in the haze he's been in since their encounter in the castle has left Noctis lost. And then there's still the weight of everything else on their shoulders, the things left unsaid since he pushed Prompto off of the train on the way to Tennebrae...
He lets Prompto take his hand, doesn't even question it, but he can't look his friend in the eye... Not when he says he wanted to do all of those things, insisting that Noctis saved his life by asking him to come on his doomed roadtrip and not the other way around. ]
We're not going to have a decent life here if we can't actually work on moving past everything that happened after I pushed you off of that train, Prom. [ He sighs, finally looking over at Prompto ] I know I came for you, but not soon enough. I tried to stop the train so I could go find you... I did everything I could.
[ It's overwhelming, thinking about all of the things he could have done differently in hindsight, all of the signs he missed, the manner of speech and the words Ardyn would never have uttered. It's all so obvious looking back on everything. ]
I was so angry, so unbelievably angry that I let it cloud my judgment. I just wanted him dead.
no subject
Yeah, he tricked you. I don't blame you for that. I believe that you tried...I held out hope that you would try. For awhile-
[ Prompto grimaced a little bit and looked away. ]
Look...I... sometimes I'm not that strong, you know? I mean if you need to know what happened then I...guess I should come clean about it.
[ Noctis won't be happy, for a lot of reasons, he knows that. ]
no subject
[ Noctis realizes, moments later, that he's still holding Prompto's hand and... he doesn't let go. Not now. Not when he knows this conversation is going to be so very hard for both of them. He's sure it'll get awkward eventually, but it just feels like this is what they both need at the moment. ]
And I think it would be best if we talk about everything. Maybe start from when it all went to shit.
[ He thinks about the time on the train after they left Altissia ]
Gladio wouldn't want us to sit here with everything shut in like this, acting like nothing happened. You know, it's not kingly or something like that.
no subject
Um. He came and you pushed me off the train. We covered that. [ He murmurs and sighs softly, thinking about it. ]
It was uh, the middle of nowhere. Snow. A ton of snow. Just like. Snow everywhere. And uh, I walked around for awhile. Trying to find...something. Somewhere. Anywhere. And I remember collapsing. I was too tired. Everything was white and I heard-
[ Prompto's brow furrows, shaking his head. ] Uh. MTs I think. I lost consciousness.
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Noctis saw the state he was in when he found Prompto, he knows it gets worse, but he doesn't know exactly how bad it truly got... and he's not sure he's ready to hear it. But he needs to know, he knows Prompto needs to talk about it, too, because holding all of this in is not healthy for either of them. ]
What... [ He pauses, swallowing back the emotion threatening to bubble forth ] What happened when you woke up? Did somebody come along and find you?
[ Because there's no way he would've survived had he laid in the snow, unconscious, for hours. ]
no subject
[ Maybe from the cold, maybe from the rough tumble off the train, it's hard to say. ]
I woke up in a base. The uh, First Magitek Production Facility. [ His tone is a bit more absent, like he's lost in thought, or more likely dissociating a bit from the conversation. Locking down his feelings to protect himself. ]
Um, he was there to make fun of me. And he told me, you know, about my wrist and to use it. I'd been disarmed but...he gave me a gun. Thing is when I scan this thing it puts all the MTs on high alert so like- they come after me? Because I'm compromised? So...everything was immediately hostile.
[ A game. It was like a game for Ardyn. To watch him struggle like a mouse caught in a trap. ]
no subject
And to think that this is how he learned about his past, about the tattoo on his wrist? It makes Noctis’s blood boil.
He sits silently, not really knowing how to respond to all of that. He wants to know more, wants to know what happened to his best friend due to his recklessness, to the tricks Ardyn played on him. While he sits, thinking on his next words, Noctis keeps his grip on Prompto’s hand, thumb gently brushing over the tops of his fingers. ]
When… [ He pauses, takes a deep breath ] When I was looking for you, he taunted me, teased me about you, made me see things that weren’t there, and forced me to use the ring to defend myself.
[ Part of him wants to end the conversation now, pretend that none of this happened… but he knows they need to talk about it and that they can’t just ignore it like they’ve been doing. ]
I was so relieved when I found you…
no subject
[ He doesn't want to say he doubted Noct, he did and he didn't but he's weak. He's as weak as anyone would be while being tortured. ]
So uh, right. Production facility.
[ Noctis asked. His king, but more importantly, his best friend is right there and he needs to tell him everything. ]
Made my way through it, most of the way alone. I...found all these data logs and other clones and stuff. It's- it was a lot. It's still...I felt sick. It still makes me feel sick.
[ All of those people. He's not Ardyn, he doesn't think their values are worth less because of how they were born. ]
In- I encountered someone. The lead scientist. Besithia. Verstael Besithia. He said he's- [ He said he's a disappointment is what he said, but everyone says that to him. His adoptive parents were just garbage at it too. ]
He gave his genetic material and I- I'm his clone. We're all his clones and uh... He was going to add me to his project like the others. He k-killed them to... [ Deep breaths now. ] To make a big weapon. With their souls or some sick shit and I just...I killed him. I killed a man. I am- I killed him.
[ He tears up, not because he's sad for Besithia, but more because he didn't want to kill anyone.
That...is just not realistic in this job though. It was the first life he knew he'd taken. ]
no subject
And when Prompto takes a deep breath, continues talking to admit that he killed a man, it his Noctis like a ton of bricks. But he doesn’t care, he knows Prompto made the right choice despite how difficult it must have been. He knows that, had he been in that position, he would have done the same thing. ]
Prompto…
[ When the tears begin to fall, as they begin to stain Prompto’s cheeks, Noctis immediately drops the hand he had been gripping so tightly in favor of pulling his best friend into a hug. And he stays like that, holding Prompto, a hand gently rubbing his back, for as long as he needs him to… because he doesn’t want to see Prompto like this, so upset and so broken, and he wants to be there for him and do as much as he possibly can to lift this weight from his shoulders and move it on to his own. ]
You did what you had to do and what needed to be done… [ A pause ] You don’t have to worry about that shit anymore and shoulder all of this on your own, okay? We’ll get through this together.
no subject
I know. I didn't have a choice. I didn't.
[ He takes in a shuddering breath. ] I almost cracked right there but uh, Aranea. I saw her. She told me where to go. We met up in the hangar with the snowmobiles and fled the facility.
[ He's still not in Zegnautus, there's more to this story. ]
We got split up though and when I was alone, I thought-
[ He breathes some more. ] All of them. I've killed all of them. Even though the Empire hurt them first, but I don't think- they're not to blame for just existing. I can't blame them for that. All those people. [ He gulps, the sound suggesting he might be feeling nauseous working himself up like that. But he steadies himself. ]
I was going to burn it off. My barcode. I wanted to burn it. Aranea stopped me. I figured it didn't matter because I'm the same as them. I thought- I thought that meant I was evil like them at first...but now, after thinking about it...I feel bad for them. They didn't ask for this.
[ That...is some very self-destructive behaviour and ideation. If he wasn't speaking to Noctis, he would never admit it. ]
no subject
I'm glad she was there for you when I couldn't be... and that stopped you.
[ Noctis tightens his arms around Prompto when he says he wanted to burn off the barcode tattoo, thankful that Aranea stopped him. That tattoo, while it's a symbol of where Prompto came from, means nothing in Noctis's eyes and he told him as much when they found him and freed him in Zegnautus Keep. It's a part of Prompto, part of who he is, and Noctis doesn't think any differently now knowing its origin. ]
You've been through so much more than I could have ever imagined–
[ And he knows that's not the end of it; there's no telling what happened between this point with Aranea and finding him in Zegnautus Keep. Pausing, he finally relaxes his arms around Prompto, leaning back so he can look him in the eyes. ]
I'm sorry, Prom. I'm so sorry.
no subject
It's...not that bad. [ His voice is wavering, like he's not able to convince himself, let alone Noctis. ]
Uh. Yeah. So. He made this super weapon and Aranea and I took it down. [ He's just going to skip over his mental breakdown. That's enough for now. He doesn't want to think about it. Noctis probably gets it. ]
Then I was able to just go....but really he was just letting me go. I didn't get that far before I was captured and the rest of the time I was...well...mostly how you found me. At his mercy. He did everything he could think of. He told me you'd never come for me. He always talks like he owns me. Like...Like I'm nothing. Just an MT.
[ Which fundamentally he is, but also he's a person. ]
But I believed in you.
no subject
[ Because Prompto is everything to Noctis, and he would have done anything and everything to rescue him. Even if it cost him his own life, he would've done it to save his best friend. He doesn't know how he can possibly convey all of this to Prompto, to get him to believe it and understand that he's absolutely fucking perfect the way he is, even despite the things he may not want to share, the barcode tattooed on his wrist, the trauma, his past, everything. ]
I wanted to stop the train, but we couldn't... there were too many passengers onboard and their lives would've been in danger with the daemons swarming.
[ He sighs, reaching for Prompto's hand again, squeezing it tightly. ]
I tried to kill him on the train... And I wrecked the Regalia trying to get to Zegnautus Keep. He took my powers from me, forced me to use the ring to protect myself as I tried to find you, and taunted me every step of the way.
[ And Noctis can still hear his voice, the taunting, the teasing, the sing-song voice ringing in his ears at night when he's trying to sleep. He hates it, hates him, wants nothing more than to put an end to that man's life for everything he's done, everything he's going to do. ]
I wasn't going to let him take you from me. That was never an option.
no subject
He seemed to figure everything out. He played with my every fear. He kept me trapped in that thing and did anything he could think of.
[ His body trembles as he takes a deep breath. ]
It hurt.
[ He's just tired. He can hear that same voice in his nightmares. ]
no subject
[ After a moment's hesitation, Noctis lifts his free hand and settles it on Prompto's back, softly rubbing circles there and letting him rest there without worry. He wants nothing more than to take all of this from Prompto, to shoulder it himself... but he knows that's so much easier said than done, that he can never take away what has happened.
His only option is to continue pressing forward, to make sure Ardyn never has the opportunity to do anything like this again. ]
I don't know how long this will last, when we'll return home and what home has in store for us when that time comes, but you're safe here... We both are.
[ Noctis worries about about his kingdom, about Eos as a whole, but he can see they both need a moment's rest and that Reverein has provided that. ]
no subject
He takes in shuddering breaths as he calms down, he's nodding a bit. He's okay. He's just...unstable. A wreck. He feels like a wreck. He can't begin to describe the details of torture or does he want to. It was too much. ]
Yeah...I...I hope so. [ He swallows. ]
I keep seeing him, he's haunting me I just... yeah. It's. A lot.
no subject
[ Of course, it's a lot. Anybody would be a fool to think otherwise. Just one look at the two of them, at what they both have been through (especially what Prompto has endured at Ardyn's hands), and anyone could see that they need some sort of reprieve. Whether being here, pulled away from their consciousness into this dream world, is truly a break remains to be seen.
Noctis pulls back to look at Prompto, dropping the hand that had been on his back to rest at his side. He doesn't want to leave his best friend alone, not with the state he's in after talking about what happened to him after—
He offers a small smile, gently rubbing his thumb across the top of Prompto's hand. ]
You want me to stay here tonight?
[ He can't tell Prompto that Ardyn will stop haunting him, that they won't see him again in Reverein because he knows that's not true, that he's certain to show his face again given that this world draws on their dreams and their nightmares. But he can stay by his side and pray to the Six that it goes away. ]
no subject
Yeah, uh, you can stay if you want.
[ He'd never kick Noctis out anyway, why would he? He just feels so emotionally drained it's exhausting. ]
no subject
[ Though, he'd do anything to hear Gladio's snoring or listen to Ignis lecture him about eating vegetables... He'd also do anything to see his best friend smile, take all of this off his shoulders and shoulder it himself if he could. ]
I just... [ He sighs ] All of this we've been dealing with, everything that happened to you, I don't want to leave you here alone when I'm the one who wanted to talk about it all.
no subject
I guess it's fine, as long as you don't kick me.
[ He leans against Noctis, just because he can. ]
Yeah. I appreciate it Noct. Really. You are the best friend I could ever have. You can't convince me otherwise.
no subject
Don't know what I'd do without you.
[ It was horrible without Prompto. Noctis felt so lost after he pushed Prompto from the train, and he would do everything he did and more again and again and again to ensure Prompto's safety. ]
I won't make any promises about kicking you, though. You steal the blankets and I'll kick you. Elbow in my back or arm across my face? Instant kick.
no subject
You're so mean. You come here, in my own house, and threaten to kick me!
[ Prompto tilts his head back so Noct can see him and pouts at him. ]
no subject
Whatcha gonna do about it?
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Seeing as you are the ever so great ruler of our kingdom and all that, obviously I'm going to shove you off the bed and beat you with a pillow.
[ Only the best treatment for their king. ]