[closed]

[retrieves]

Who: kh cast
Which: closed log
Where: during the event so...everywhere?
What: everything all at once
Warnings: death and... idk a lot of angst





anyone dying? log it here!
people getting into cuddlepiles post-event? log it here!
anyone got anything else they wanna do with kh cast without posting on the event log? this is for you!
closed threads with the kh cast catchall or just general cast tagging is in here!

Comments

[oathkeeper]

[Sora is expecting an answer like that. Honestly, there are a lot of really selfish things that Sora could make Riku promise him. He wonders which one he should ask. Or if it's fair to ask any of those things at all.

For a moment he lets his forehead drop to Riku's shoulder so he can shut his eyes and just take in the steady feeling of Riku being here in his arms.]

Don't leave me behind anymore?

[How many times has Sora had to endure Riku leaving him now? Or being somewhere where Riku isn't? He can't really stand it anymore. Sure... It's probably silly to make Riku promise not to die but ... Well. Maybe this is a silly thing to ask too. But maybe it'll give Riku some perspective of how much this hurt Sora in the first place.]

[retrieves]

[Riku stiffens at the question. he's not exactly surprised really, but it's just... the irony of it all. the waiting that he'd had to do and searching he'd just recently been doing for Sora -- for a year, when Sora had only had to wait for him a couple of days to come back.

he knows that's not fair, though. it's not like they really knew if he'd come back.]

Are you...

[are you serious? he wants to say, but his throat tightens up as he looks away from Sora. he knows he's supposed to be the strong one, but he's so fucking tired right now, and he's not in the best mental state to pretend he's okay.

he'd just died.]

Do you know how you sound right now? [his voice is not angry -- just tired and sad.] You left me first.

[oathkeeper]

[It stings to hear that more than Sora thought it would but he remembers just how tired Riku looked when he first got here. How tired he sounds now. It all settles a little rock inside Sora's stomach.

He squeezes the other boy a little closer and rests his forehead on his shoulder before he sighs.]

I know it's not fair for me to say something like that, okay?

[...]

But I had to deal with a couple of years without you and I really, really missed you. And losing you like that was scary.

[He knows that doesn't excuse Riku's feelings either. They both had to deal with long periods of just wondering where the other person was. Trying to continue and live without that slot filled in. Sora lived in Aefenglom without Riku and while he had others he still missed Riku dearly.]

[retrieves]

[Riku's eyes sting. he doesn't want them to, but he's so fucking tired and he can't help it. Sora being so near to him and so vulnerable with him is making him feel all kinds of things right now, and he lets his bangs hide his eyes as he looks down towards the ground.]

I won't lose you.

[not again. not permanently. even with Sora gone at home, he knew he'd find him again. but there's going to be one adventure that one of them isn't going to come back from one day, and he doesn't think he'd be able to withstand the option where Sora doesn't come back for real.]

I've done whatever it takes to protect you for so long, because I can't think of a reality where you don't exist... it's a reality where I also don't exist. [he takes a shaky breath.] So just... let me be selfish in this case. Please.

[his voice is cracking, now...]

[oathkeeper]

[His heart squeezes painfully in his chest. Hearing the quiver in Riku's voice isn't something he's used to. Riku's always so calm and collected and as sturdy as a mountain. It makes Sora double-take about how hard this must really be for Riku.

He shuts his eyes and buries his face against the back of Riku's neck. Letting himself shut out everything else but the two of them.]

I can say the same things about you.

[What a terrible promise to make. But Sora does inhale softly and finishes,]

Thanks for always protecting me.

[Fine, Riku...]

[retrieves]

[it's like a dam's broken in his emotions. he hadn't allowed himself to feel this much in so long, because he's just been having to push on and jump into the next catastrophe. but now, here, where everything's so much quieter in comparison and especially since he'd been sitting in bed for a couple days, he's had too much time to think.

he's glad that he feels Sora's face against his neck, because then he can't feel as embarrassed about falling apart, though he's been as quiet as possible about it.]

You have so many people who're important to you.

[he rubs his face with the back of his arm as his other hand finds Sora's arm so that he can squeeze it. if something happened to him, he knows Sora would be okay. he knows it in his heart.]

I have you. You're... my important person.

[oathkeeper]

[The weak way that Riku says those words back to him ache in Sora's heart. He's never even seen Riku cry before so to hear the start of tears and how Riku's trying to hold them back makes Sora's shoulders tremble.

He doesn't know how to say the words he wants to say. To convey the complicated feelings that Sora carries in his heart that bubble up all the time. He knows those feelings are there like a little sunspot on the page of his heart. Even if he knows he shouldn't say them. They're still there. They always have been. And right now he feels somehow warm and worried at the same time.]

Riku... [His arms gently squeeze the other boy. Like he'll hold him if he falls.] I don't want to know what it's like to know you're not around. Because without you I wouldn't know what to do. So... Can't we just promise each other that no matter what happens we'll always protect each other?

[Does Riku really think Sora would be okay? He would be shattered without Riku. Nothing and no one can ever replace him. Sora knows he needs Riku too.]

[retrieves]

[of course Riku thinks that Sora can make it without him. he's watched it happen more than once -- but he's not going to bring it up right now. as sappy as he always teases Sora is, he's the one that knows he wouldn't be able to stay away forever...]

Fine.

[he doesn't want to continue to argue the point anymore. but he will lean into Sora and start pulling himself together, because he doesn't like this. he doesn't like crying, even though a small part of himself feels a little relief.]

You win this time.

[oathkeeper]

[While Sora might be strong when he's off and about doing his own thing time and time again... Riku's strength is always in the back of his mind. Even after all these years Sora still believes that without his friends that he's really... nothing. He's not strong at all. He's only strong because of his friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.

They would probably argue about this point forever if it ever properly came up.]

I'd say it's a tie.

[Because Sora relented that Riku can have his part too as much as it pains Sora to give it up. He still holds onto Riku and hugs him tightly, though. He's not ready to let go.]

[retrieves]

Hmph...

[Riku's not ready to move, either. it's nice to feel Sora so close to him, solid and warm after everything that'd happened. the fact that he'd just assumed that this sort of thing would never happen again...

he was always fine with it. giving everything up for Sora was always a no-brainer to him, but he knows that if he were to say anything it'd just end in arguing.

he doesn't want to argue right now.

instead, he leans into Sora some more, letting Sora steady him. Sora always steadies him whether he knows it or not, but in this moment, he needed it to be physical.]

🎀

[oathkeeper]

[It's just the truth between the two of them. Sora and Riku are intricately bound to each other in a lot of different ways. Sora would do anything to keep Riku safe too even if that means rewriting time and space or ripping out parts of his own heart to make sure Riku can live. So if they do continue to talk about it they are going to argue in circles and circles. It's just a fact.

So for now a tie will have to do. And a quietly steady and almost desperately needed hug between the two of them. Sora will hold on for a while longer just hanging onto the fact that Riku is alive and he's okay and he's right here.

Everything else will heal with a little bit of time.]