songerein | [12] all this time i was pretending,

Entry tags:

[12] all this time i was pretending,

Who: Susato and Kazuma
Which: Closed log
Where: Their home/The Harvest
What: In the aftermath of Hyde, Kazuma grows distant. Understanding why doesn't make it any easier on Susato.
Warnings: Will add. (None... planned??)

[ Are they ever going to talk about it? ...Is there even anything to talk about that they haven't already discussed? What does he need?

The Harvest household remains in a state of unease as the restaurant is forced to close its doors for much needed repairs. However relieved Susato may feel at the Story Eater's successful sealing, she finds it difficult to express it. Kazuma seems more distant than he had ever been before, and it feels like they've barely spoken, though perhaps that's to be expected. It isn't unusual nowadays for him to stay up late down at the Harvest, and though she constantly finds herself tossing and turning, glancing up at the door at every sound—never sleeping well—she never protests.

Even when he is still gone the next morning, as is the case yet again. As if it weren't difficult enough to pry herself out of bed.

She sucks in breath to brace for her protest from her arms as she pulls herself up, wincing at the ache. Though it may be futile, she still spends a few minutes, walking about the home, calling his name softly.

...It's fine. No matter where he is, she still feels obligated to make him breakfast. She could probably do this as she is: her hair, a long, frazzled mess, along with very comfortable pyjamas; but a shower and fresh clothes would surely invigorate her in a way she needs right now. Luckily, choosing an outfit is effortless when you tend to wear the same kimono every day like a uniform, so she finds herself back in their room, picking one out without thought from a sea of pink in their wardrobe.

Her arm struggles against sleeves, fabric catching on the gauze hiding her scaly patch of nightmare scar. She winces, once again wondering if she should contact him through the journal or continue to give him his space. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He's aware everyone is worried about him, he's aware he's intentionally avoiding
them. He just wants to work, keep himself busy, anything to keep his mind off of what happened last month. No one is mad or upset at him, but letting Hyde cause more horrors than he had ever experienced back in the Realm of Stories, it doesn't sit well with his conscious.

He hurt the people closest to him.

He doesn't want to talk about any of it, he just wants to work. And when he wasn't, went somewhere to have some privacy. Work on something else. But even work will eventually be unable to keep him distract. Eventually, he's going to start missing someone's company, her company. The yearning only gets stronger with each passing day until one day-]

Ah! [There's a thump as Kazuma falls over. He had just been sitting at a desk, so to suddenly have no chair, he lost his balance. His eyes are on Susato's backside as he's been apparently teleported into their bedroom.]

[ They're not mad at him, but perhaps he feels like they should be. That's just the kind of person he is. ...The thought lingers in her mind as her arms are freed, and just as soon as her kimono falls to the floor, she can feel a sudden rush of air. The sheer surprise of it prevents her from recognizing his presence right away, but she turns like lightning, fingers still sprawled over her chest like she's trying to hold up a towel that's not there.

She is vulnerable. This is a private space!!!

She's— ]

K, Kazuma—!

[ She lets out a shrill yelp that sounds suspiciously like a squeak. ]

[ An ethereal light starts to radiate from her, and poof.

Gone is Susato.

......When she next opens her eyes, all she can see is pink. After a moment, Kazuma will see a rustling in her kimono, discarded on the floor. ]

[Man, this is not how one starts an apology. Before anything else, there's suddenly a light coming from Susato. It honestly causes Kazuma to panic as he rushes to get back on his feet.]

Susato?! [She's no longer where she was standing. Did she teleport somehow as well? Then he sees it, something wiggling around in the kimono she was putting on. Kneeling down, rummaging through the clothes to find-]

-!! [There's....a rabbit. A very fluffy, cute rabbit.]

[ This is certainly not how she pictured... whatever moment this is. Susato is trying to make her way out, but it doesn't take long before Kazuma lifts the fabric. The form feels familiar as he exposes her and on instinct, she is automatically sniffing at the air and twitching her little ears. ]

A, Again?! I thought— [ Her Essence is gone, isn't it? This shouldn't be possible! This isn't even touching on the fact that she is naked right now. She can't speak, but as she thinks the words she wishes to convey, perhaps Kazuma can feel that connection.

...

......What is she supposed to say? Can he even take her seriously like this? ]

Sorry. [ What? No that doesn't seem right, either. He should be the one apologizing! But as she halfheartedly tries to channel that anger, she can only feel relief. ]

You're here...

[Yes, he's here, and probably looks terrible. Those bags under his eyes indicate he hasn't had much proper sleep either. But nevermind him, look how small Susato is! And he seems to understand her? Feels like he can hear a voice in his head.]

......... [Whatever he wanted to say, it's gone out the window. He just...he just wants to scoop up the little bunny, sit down and just, pet her. To comfort her, comfort himself? Who knows, it just seem like the right action to take right now.]

[ ...

Her little feet kick in protest slightly, but not for long as she is scooped up. That familiar warmth, his gentleness, makes her feel protected, though there is still a nervousness behind it. Her ears fold back as he strokes her, her eyes closed, and she'll admit that his lap is very comfortable. She is almost lost in it. The silence that surrounds them, a moment they haven't had in quite a while.

The contently hums, but all that comes out is a subtle snorting noise, the equivalent to a cat purring. What was that??

...She can't even tell if he can understand her. ]

Where were you? I have been worried, you know...

Edited 2023-06-13 02:24 (UTC)

[What are those sounds? He's just staring down at her as she makes...rabbit noises? Jugemu never did this, did he? Well, she didn't seem hurt, so maybe she was just trying to talk in her franctic way.]

I'm sorry. [Was he answering her, or just telling her in general? He lets out some air, continuing to pet her. The motion just felt so calming.] I hope you're not stuck like this, cute as you are.

[ Maybe Kin-chan has? Or maybe Lucky?

Susato appears to shake her head. She's still not convinced he can understand her thoughts, but it's becoming likelier by the second. He has dodged her question in favor of a compliment, of course, but that is not unlike him. She feels a little self-conscious now, and as the petting continues, she eventually crawls up onto her hind legs to paw at...

Well, it would have been his chest, if she could reach it. It's probably closer to his stomach.

There's just a pause as she meets his eyes. He looks terrible, but he is still hers. It's not like she's faring much better anyway in the sleep department, so at least this form mostly disguises the bags underneath her eyes. ]

I thought my Essence was gone, but there appear to be some lingering effects.

[ To put it mildly. Is she trying to hug him, or asking to be picked up? ]

I... Do you hear me?

[He tilts his head. What is she trying to do? Get his attention? Picked up? Well he'll do the latter. Maybe she wanted to be closer to his eye level.]

I can understand you, if that's what you're wondering. [How? Maybe their love is just that strong, though Kazuma kind of chuckles at the very idea. He just does. His brows furrow at the mention of essence. At least the one given to her was far less harmful than his.] Maybe you just need to think you're a person again.

[ It's probably the same reason she can understand the snakes. Susato herself doesn't seem to question it, but the fact that she can tell he is in lighter spirits is already enough to make her smile. Whether that "smile" is represented on her rabbit face, she doesn't know, but she does appear to make herself comfortable as she is lifted, snuggling up to him. ]

Perhaps I must earn it.

Perhaps this form was given back to me to lift your spirits.

[No, this is too cute. She needs to change back though. It really is true that cute fluffy things make everything better, huh.]

Heh...well it is working, but I don't want you to stay like this. [Does she liks scritches? She's getting scritches and maybe a belly rub.]

[ She, apparently loves scritches. She seems content, and rolls onto her stomach to allow him easier access to it, though she suddenly blinks her eyes open when he says that. If you did, I would, she thinks in protest, and perhaps he will get that feeling, even if he can't hear it. Yet his situation is not quite that simple (and the solution, if you can even call it that, comes with its own problems). ]

Please don't worry about me for now. I...

[ Ugh. This is just, not at all how she imagined this conversation, but that's just how it's going to have to be, isn't it? ]

[ She feels lost in his touch. She should just stop there. Just let things be, as they are right now. But her thoughts wander to those first nights she spent alone, the first time in a while. ]

...At first, I thought maybe you'd grown tired of me, you know... I wondered. [ Is she suffocating him? Does he simply need the space to himself to process all that's happened, or was it something else? ]

But I think I know you better than that.

[He blinks, surprised Susato would ever think that. Oh dear...the pettings stop as he presses her close to his chest, where she could hear his heartbeat.]

I would never. I'm glad you're still here with me, even after everything.

[ Why did the pettings stop? Also, when she shut her eyes? She looks up questioningly, her little nose twitching with curiosity before he pulls her close, and she could not only hear his heartbeat, but feel his words vibrating in his chest.

For a moment, she can only take comfort in this, saying nothing at all as the tension in her body starts to ease. ]

Yes... I know. [ It's hard to scold him like this, though her voice takes on a slight huffy quality to it. ] You do have a funny way of showing it, sometimes.

Do I...? [Well he has been absent as of late, hardly looking to talk, just wanting to keep busy. Any attempts to help or keep him company have been met with the cold shoulder. A quiet sigh, as he's back to giving her pets.]

Sorry, that I haven't really been around. I'm sure I've caused some distress for you.

[ Susato doesn't say anything at first. Something about the way he says that makes her feel guilty, though she knows that is far from his intention, so she'd rather not let it show. When she realizes he's resumed the pettings, she starts leaning into them again. ]

Well, it was never about me. [ Perhaps that is why she did not pursue him as much as she feels she should have. ] But I am sorry, too.

[ She doesn't really clarify what for. When his hand next comes down, she lifts her nose to meet it and licks his palm with affection. ]

[He certainly wasn't expecting an apology back. And it confuses him as to why she needed to apologize to him. He watches her give him affection. Are you trying to convince him you're better as a bunny? Cause it's working.]

For what? I feel I've cause everyone the most trouble.

[ Well...... He's not wrong about that, which is why she doesn't try to argue the point. Seeing his reaction, she wishes she could give him a proper hug, which is possibly the only reason she takes issue with being a bunny at current. She stops the bunny kisses, but only because she appears to be considering the question, or at least how to answer it.

For what? ]

I thought I could bring you back. Help you win against your inner demons.

...That's not your fault. [He carefully lifts her up to eye level.]

I heard you, despite everything that was happening. It may not seem much, but you manage to help me keep him at bay a few times.

[ Being lifted, careful though he may be, leaves her stomach doing something of a flip. A little nerve wrecking at first, but she finds it hard to meet his eyes, despite trying to find comfort in his words. The fact is that it wasn't enough: but she will come to terms with that and accept the fact that she's supposed to comforting him, not the other way around. ]

Hmm.

[ She doesn't entirely sound convinced, can't even bring herself to agree. But she hums, conceding, because she feels like giving him that is the least she could do.

She finally looks at him, eyes bright and apologetic. Her nose twitches, sniffing curiously as it inches closer to his. She wonders if it hurts. ]

Then I am sorry I bit you. [ He kind of deserved it, though. ]

[He blinks and then laughs.] No, that was deserved. [No apologies needed, as he leans forward so their noses touch. There is indeed a faint bruise where she bit him, but otherwise there's no pain. Just a ticklish nose wiggle from a bunny.]

I wouldn't think you'd allow someone to talk you down without consequences.

[ If he thinks it is ticklish now, what will he think when she licks it? Will he laugh? She hopes so. She is getting entirely too comfortable in this form, she can tell, but if she can remind him what it feels like to laugh, it would be worth it.

She can be heard giggling somewhat, as if trying to encourage it, but after an otherwise quiet moment where they can just be silly, she speaks again. ]

If only words had been enough. But you're back now. There is nothing that we cannot fix together.

[Oh he's definitely laughing from getting licked on the nose. Now she's just doing this on purpose, but it's not like he's trying to stop her. He falls backwards as he lays on the floor, Susato now on his chest.]

Well, we can start with figuring out how to change you back. Cute as you are like this, I'd like human Susato more. [Have some scritches behind the ear.]

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject