songerein | Open | Do not fear difficulty.

Entry tags:

Open | Do not fear difficulty.

Who: Trahearne & you!
Which: Journal post/open log
Where: Tree of Stories
What: Now that the Story Eater is taken care of, it's time to look into the next order of business: staying in Songerein.
Warnings: N/A as of now

> JOURNAL: A Query

Sender: Trahearne
To: All
Subject: Regarding Mirrors.

I am presently researching stories involving mirrors. If there are any tales from your culture that prominently feature magical mirrors, I would be interested in hearing about them. Thank you.

> ACTION: The Tree of Stories

[ If you are looking for Trahearne, you will...not find him at the archives, strangely enough.

For these past few days, he has holed himself up in the Tree of Stories, leaving only to get food and to feed his pets. He is scouring every inch of the multiple floors and countless shelves for stories involving magical mirrors, taking into account what others have told him, and what he has discovered on his own. Before long he's surrounded by stacks and stacks of books; he quickly skims through them, then places them in one of many of the other stacks, catergorizing them in a way only he understands. He seems totally lost in his work, oblivious to others talking or making noise.

Towards the latter half of his time spent researching here, he's starting to look...well. Wilted. There really is no better way to put it. His leaves seem to lack their particular shine, and the ones on his head seem to droop lower than they normally do. How long has it been since he went outside...?

Feel free to help him research, or perhaps test out a promising story with him, or even just tell him to take a break. Good luck with that last one, though. ]

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[He's glad to hear that the rest of this process will be fairly simple for Trahearne. However, there is the question he had been waiting for. Zhongli lets out a slow breath as they walk, not replying for a moment. Then, as he looks out onto the pathway, he speaks.]

Come, let's find somewhere more suitable to speak. I saw a rather lovely tree on our way here.

[It's not a long walk to the tree that Zhongli mentioned, but it is enough for the silence to feel pressing. Where before their conversation had flowed quite nicely, now the silence rings loud around them. After a time that feels both too long and too short, they come to a large tree just off the road they've travelled; far enough to not be overheard from both the main road and the dragon's home they came across. Zhongli approaches the tree and pauses before it, keeping his gaze on it for a moment before addressing Trahearne.]

I... admit that there is one detail about the adepti that I failed to mention. In Liyue, the adepti are made up of both gods and illuminated beasts, and one trait of full-blooded adepti is their ability to take on a human and bestial form. The most common illuminated beasts are that of cranes and other birds, but there are also those who take the form of qilin, deer, bears... Of course, while some adepti prefer to remain in their true forms, others take on a human form so that they may walk among the people more easily.

As an adeptus, I too have a true form that is... not altogether human.

[He pauses, a troubled look on his face, before he turns to glance at Trahearne. He does look remorseful, and when he speaks, it's with a sadness in his voice.]

Before I continue, I want it to be known that I did not keep this information from you out of malice or an attempt to mislead you. I knew your apprehension towards dragons and had been contemplating the right time to reveal this information to you... but I'm afraid our new companion revealed the truth before I had a chance to.

[ Trahearne dutifully follows, though he keeps his gaze downward, at the ground. Normally he would catch up with Zhongli, stand beside him as he usually does; this time, he lags behind. He isn't sure what to make of the odd swirl of emotion in his chest. Apprehension? Fear? ...Betrayal?

It's only now that he realizes how thoroughly he has trusted Zhongli, and it feels as though a small part of his reality has been torn apart. Only now, when he starts to question the cracks in stone, does he realize how deep his foundation goes.

It's a...strange combination of feelings, and Trahearne doesn't know how to take them.

They come to the tree, but Trahearne doesn't bother looking at it. His eyes rest on Zhongli, as though trying to read between the lines of his words. He hugs the book to his chest, unconsciously trying to protect himself.

In all honesty, he's a little scared.

But he listens calmly, because at the end of the day, he still trusts him. He wouldn't have come all this way just to metaphorically hold his hand on this objectively simple task if he had any intent on harming him, no? And so when Zhongli turns to look at him, Trahearne's gaze is there, ready to greet him.

He blinks at the admission. He shifts with the book at his chest, unsure of what to make of this, or how to voice what he feels. ]

...In all honesty, I wish I'd heard the truth from you first.

[ That's the crux of it, isn't it? To learn of another's secret from someone else.

He appreciates Zhongli's consideration for his past with dragons. Dragons are so closely associated with death and destruction in his mind, it's hard to imagine a dragon god that hasn't done the same. But...that doesn't change who he is, does it? Zhongli has been nothing but kind and caring towards him since the very beginning; he has also been a dragon since the very beginning. Should this change anything?

Trahearne shifts again in slight realization, his eyes unblinking. ]

—Please don't get the wrong idea. I am fond of you, Zhongli, very much so, and I doubt that will change. I know you harbour no malice or ill intent towards me, but... [ His frown deepens, the hurt shining through in his eyes. ] ...Were you ever going to tell me?

Truthfully, I wish I was able to tell you the truth myself as well. Having it be told on my behalf was... quite unexpected.

[And he does look rather upset by the revelation. Zhongli was always a careful planner, not rushing into anything and taking slow and painstaking steps to every undertaking he takes part in. So having the rug pulled from under him in such a way is definitely throwing him off his game.]

[Even the idea that Trahearne still claims to be fond of him does little to reassure him right now. He knows his lie of omission was technically not false, and that he broke no agreements by withholding the information... but it still doesn't fee good, knowing that hurt in Trahearne's gaze was caused by him.]

I did wish to tell you, sometime. I wanted to do so in a way that would not cause you alarm. I just... had not known the right way to go about it.

[He was even considering if he should ask Barbatos for help, but... Well, the cat was out of the bag now.]

I... would understand if you require some time to process this information.

[ Trahearne senses the hurt, the disappointment from Zhongli. As betrayed as he feels, he is not so swept up in his emotions that he is blind to how this affects his friend as well. Though that still doesn't do anything to alleviate the little frown (pout?) on his lips.

He was going to find out eventually, it seems. He doesn't know how that would've looked like, or when that would have been.

But at the same time, there is a small part of him that realizes this would have had to happen sooner or later, if they are to continue forging their relationship. Much in the same way the revelation of Trahearne's death seemed to spark their getting closer.

Trahearne doesn't immediately respond; he only studies Zhongli's face, the hurt still evident on his own. ]

I...think I might.

[ As much as he'd like to say, "It's okay! Let's carry on!" He knows that might plant a tiny seed of resentment in him, and he doesn't want that. Best be honest now, so they both know where the other stands. ]

But... [ He bites his lip, nervous. This isn't an unreasonable request, is it? The curious Tyrian in him does not know what a benevolent god-dragon looks like, so... ] ...if I may... Could you show me what you look like? As a dragon?

[ Who knows. It might help. ]

...Of course.

[Zhongli nods slowly, eyes drifting shut. Ah, he did not blame Trahearne for needing some time. He had just had a shocking revelation revealed to him, of course he would need some time to himself. It hurts, but Zhongli can only bear the brunt of the pain he had inflicted onto his dear friend.]

We may still need to travel together, but once we return to Reverein, I will be sure to give you as much space as you require.

[Even if Zhongli would spend the time in his own guilt, he would do what was needed to help Trahearne. Even if the Sylvari didn't wish to see him again afterwards, he would endure it.]

[At least, that's what he was thinking initially. But then Trahearne's request has him opening his eyes, blinking in bewilderment at the other man.]

You... wish to see my true form..?

[Sorry, what?]

[ There's a little twinge of...something Trahearne does not quite understand at Zhongli's mention of space. It's a dull twist in his stomach, and he blinks at the faint pain. He's afraid, in a way, that space might mean they drift apart from this, or they may not be as close as they are now in the days, weeks to come. And that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Zhongli's bewilderment causes Trahearne's frown to deepen. He almost finds it hard to believe, in a way. Perhaps seeing what Zhongli is meant to look like will make him feel better. Or maybe...it's him punishing himself, for reasons unbeknownst to him. ]

I do.

[ Regardless, his answer comes firm, decisive. Amber settles squarely on amber, and he nods. ]

I know not what a dragon I can trust looks like. [ For a brief moment, he bites his lip, a well of nerves beginning to simmer in his stomach. ] But I trust you. And I...think it would be easier for me if I knew.

[The dull pain isn't only felt by Trahearne; Zhongli feels it just as keenly, even if he is the one who agreed to it. He will be sad without his friend, but he must respect the sylvari's wishes. The God of Contracts was never known to breach any contract, be it formally written or verbally agreed upon.]

[Still, despite his clear confusion, he listens to Trahearne's reasoning, and slowly brings his hands behind his back. He still looks troubled, but if this is what he wants...]

If it will bring you further answers, and you are certain in your request... then I can agree to your terms.

[He says it with a solemn nod, looking out at the open area around them. Then, after a moment, he turns and takes a few steps away from the tree they were standing under, out into the open field before them. Once he's further back, he turns to Trahearne.]

Are you prepared?

[ There is a small moment of consideration where Trahearne thinks Zhongli might be uncomfortable by the prospect. And in that moment, he feels a slight twinge of guilt. He knows actually seeing him as a dragon would help, but he doesn't like the thought that he might be forcing him to transform. Or maybe Zhongli is troubled for reasons he will never know, or understand?

Here he is, overthinking again.

Zhongli's question draws him from his whirring mind. He realizes, as the other man has stepped away, Trahearne has stayed put beneath the tree. Maybe it's fine. Maybe he doesn't need to move. He doesn't know. He hugs the book tighter to his chest, and gives a firm nod. ]

...I'm ready.

[Truthfully, Zhongli is more troubled by what the reality of his true nature will do to Trahearne, and what implications this will have on their relationship. But this is clearly something that Trahearne needs, and so Zhongli is willing to do what he must for his dear friend's sake.]

[So at the confirmation, Zhongli nods and closes his eyes. A golden glow begins to emit from his body, and soon envelops him. There is a surge of power around him that pulses out, and a bright flash emits as his body grows and elongates.]

[When the light settles, a grand umber dragon stands where Zhongli once did, its serpentine body coiling around in the wide open space around them. Amber horns curl from his head and sharp spines descend down his back, both of which shimmer like cor lapis. Two long whiskers extend from his snout and almost touch the ground from his height, while a great orange mane unfurls from his head, matching an elegant tuft of fur on the tip of his tail.]

[A low rumble escapes the great dragon, amber claws resting carefully on the ground below as golden eyes peer down at Trahearne. Though rather large in height and grand in appearance, the dragon makes no move to go closer, simply giving Trahearne the space to observe.]

[ Trahearne holds his breath as he watches, not entirely sure what to expect. He's only ever known the putrid, decaying carrion that made up Zhaitan, the sinister vines that constituted all of Mordremoth. He's heard stories of Kralkatorrik and its terrible hulking mass, of the evil that Jormag and Primordus have wrought. As his eyes flutter in the light, he wonders if he'll panic in the way he would in the face of any of the other Elder Dragons, if his fear will kick in and ruin this friendship he has with Zhongli forever.

That he's apprehensive is a bit of an understatement.

As the dragon appears and coils around him, as those golden eyes peer down at him, Trahearne isn't sure how to feel. There's a thundering in his stomach, a churning of emotion he isn't exactly sure how to label. It isn't negative, he realizes. Nervous? Apprehensive? ...Something else?

Zhongli not the sort of dragon he has ever seen before, far more elegant and of pure majesty than the likes of either the Elder Dragons or their lieutenants. The menacing, corrupted air of Tyria's bane is notably absent, and though Trahearne cannot put it into words, not yet, there is something...quintessentially Zhongli about the beast. ]

You're...

[ ...He doesn't know what to say.

Tentatively, he takes a step forward, eyes searching the dragon's face for...what, he doesn't know. ]

This is you?

[ Who you truly are? ]

[There is definitely a sort of regal air around Rex Lapis's Exuvia, the draconic form he can take. In the mortal form of a man he was dignified, refined, and sophisticated, but in this draconic form he exudes the aura of the deity of rock and earth that he is meant to be. Still, even with all the noble countenance he exhibits, there is also a sense of tension, of... waiting. Clear apprehension, or awaiting of Trahearne's judgement.]

[Zhongli watches Trahearne approach, and he lowers his head slightly so that he is closer to eye-level with the sylvari. A soft sound rumbles in his throat, as if affirming Trahearne's words. Still, Trahearne may notice the way those amber eyes flick to the side, and then downward; as if in shame, or resignation.]

[ Trahearne's eyes remain on Zhongli, unblinking, determined to take in every detail, like it is his last chance to do so.

The way he responds to his question, the way his eyes flit to the side—there is something undoubtedly...personable about it. This is not an entity of destruction, this is a benevolent being. This is a friend.

It all makes sense now, and it settles comfortably in Trahearne's chest. Admittedly, it may take a while before he can look at him this way without instinctively tensing, but there is nothing he holds against Zhongli personally.

...Though he will likely still need the space in the days to come.

Trahearne takes another step forward, drawing himself closer to him than he has ever willingly been to any other dragon. One hand loosens its hold around the book and reaches, tentatively, before settling on his nose.

He blinks. ]

You are...awe-inspiring.

[Zhongli holds still as Trahearne approaches, doing his best to not shift or move suddenly and frighten Trahearne. He knows how big of a moment this is, and wants to not push things too hard.]

[Though, as that hand rests on his snout, Zhongli blinks, those amber eyes focusing on Trahearne in obvious surprise. He had been prepared for Trahearne to be surprised, even disgusted... but being called awe-inspiring was unexpected.]

[Still... it doesn't stop his tail from flicking, almost akin to a pleased cat's might. His scales have a cool and smooth texture, like polished gemstone, yet hold a faint warmth within them. ]

[ The flick of the tail catches Trahearne off-guard for a moment, and he does briefly tense, but he knows Zhongli means no harm. He knows, at this point, it's going to be okay.

He feels bad. He can't help his instinctive reaction, but he knows Zhongli knows this, too. A small part of him is optimistic—this is something he will get through, and they will get through this together.

A small, timid smile crosses Trahearne's face as he gazes up into those golden eyes. There is still uncertainty in them, but it does not overwhelm in the way it did moments earlier. ]

I understand now.

[ He drops his hand and steps back, dipping his head in a nod. ]

Thank you, Zhongli. You may change back, if that is most comfortable for you.

[Ah... right. Zhongli notices that tenseness, and he shifts his tail away, settling it down on the ground. Right... he doesn't want to spook Trahearne any further. And though he sees that timid smile, a part of him still knows that it is taking quite a lot of effort for Trahearne to even be in his presence, acceptance or not.]

[So at the offer, the great dragon lets out a soft rumble again before closing his eyes and allowing that amber glow to flow over him again. When it fades, Zhongli is there once more, standing in human form. He gently tugs on his sleeve, a frown on his face.]

I apologize for startling you... as well as for not telling you sooner.

[Truthfully, it had felt freeing to be in his dragon form after so long... but it would be better not to indulge while Trahearne was still here. He still wants to make things more comfortable for his dear friend.]

[ Zhongli reappears, and all is back to normal...mostly.

Trahearne's shoulders drop as he eases, relieved to see his friend again. He takes a step towards him, as though seeking his comfort. What dissonance, considering he and the dragon were one and the same. ]

It's all right. [ Trahearne is better now, and that much is clear. ] The situation was out of either of our hands; we had no choice.

[ They just have to live with what has happened now.

Trahearne offers a little smile, and a tilt of his head. ]

Let's go home.

[There is still a feeling of disappointment and uncertainty, but Zhongli is glad that Trahearne is feeling better. So he nods, offering a small smile back.]

Yes, let us return. You have much work to do.

[Though, when they return, Zhongli knows that he will need to give Trahearne space until he is better. It will be hard, but... it's what must be done. He did give his word, after all.]

[ And with a little nod, they set off again.

The walk back through the island, the ride back down on the balloon is much quieter than when they arrived. The tension in Trahearne's shoulders seems to slowly evaporate as they walk, as he's reminded that Zhongli is still Zhongli, and he has always been a dragon. Nothing will change...he thinks.

It's with a quiet farewell that they part ways as they arrive back in Reverein. Despite the triumph that was obtaining the book, there's a terribly sour feeling in his mouth and in his chest. He knows it isn't Zhongli's fault, but...

He just needs time.

...

...

A week or so passes, and Zhongli will find the following message in his journal:

The revelation was not your fault, and I did not mean to treat it in a way that suggested it was.

We've grown close in the past few months, and I know you are not malicious or bent on destruction, as the dragons I am familiar with are. Whether you are a dragon or not, you are still my friend, and I consider that to be a more important part of you.

My life is better with you in it. I'm ready to spend time with you again.

And so they go into August, friendship renewed. ]

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Open | Do not fear difficulty.

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