songerein | I've been shaking, waking in the night light

Entry tags:

I've been shaking, waking in the night light

Who: Joshua (

empyreancatastrophe) and your character
Which: Open Log
Where: You get to pick! Outskirts of Reverein, Wikki Archives, or Crystal Caves
What: A catch-all for part of October!
Warnings: If you haven’t finished Final Fantasy XVI and/or care about spoilers, don't click that cut text.

No More Playing Flames [OPEN]
[Joshua finds himself practicing at the edge of town—far enough not to hurt anyone, but close enough to seek help if he should need it, if he thinks to ask. He’ll have to see if it’s worth it if he finds himself in a groove. Only time will tell.]

[With a deep breath, he begins to channel this still mysterious power of dreamotion, both familiar and foreign, carrying its own weight distinctive from the magicks of home. As he extends his hand, a fiery glow envelops his fingertips. It dances like flames in the night, ethereal and unpredictable. He's practiced this skill tirelessly, seeking to harness its potential and overcome the fatigue that always follows. He has to become stronger. He has to be able to protect others.]

[And that’s today’s goal. He’s created barriers back in Valisthea, yes, he hasn’t honed the art to accommodate the split-second decisions necessary in battle without Phoenix’s raw power. Not yet, at least.]

[Drawing upon his emotions, he reaches deep into his heart, searching for a source strong enough to bolster his attempts. Although not outwardly emotional, Joshua finds no trouble in tapping into the one well he knows will never run dry: the love he holds for his brother. He remembers their childhood, the laughter, the shared dreams, and their promise to protect each other. He’s already decided that it’s this love, this unbreakable bond, that will fuel his magicks here in Songerein.]

[Now he just has to get them to work in a way that won’t leave him drained.]

[The barrier materializes like a fiery wall, a translucent, otherworldly shimmer that wavers in the air with the intensity of a blazing inferno. His brow furrows in concentration as he infuses it with the strength of his emotions, willing it to hold strong and last longer than before as it crackles with power, a fiery resonance that vibrates through his veins. Still, Joshua can feel the toll on his strength, the way dreamotion saps his energy with every passing second. It's a different kind of fatigue from what he's used to, a weariness that settles deep within his bones. Vastly preferable to coughing up blood after greater manifestations of his power, but not ideal.]

[Regardless, he stands his ground, determined to push the limits of his abilities. The barrier remains stable, its fiery glow unwavering, as if infused with the essence of his love. A sense of accomplishment washes over him, and for a moment, Joshua believes that not only can it contend with the exhaustion, but possibly win. He's making progress, slowly learning to control this enigmatic magic while connecting it to his deepest emotions!]

[But all good things must come to an end. With each passing second, the shimmering wall weakens further. The fiery glow fades to a smoldering ember, and cracks start to appear, like a fragile glass sculpture on the verge of shattering. Desperation takes hold as he struggles to pour more energy into the failing shield, to reignite the fiery glow, but his fatigue proves too heavy an anchor. The barrier sputters and disintegrates into a shower of fading sparks and dissipating flames.]

[Joshua stumbles backward, drained and defeated, his body aching from the effort as he lowers himself to the ground with heavy breaths.]

[He didn’t mean to make such a show, and thankfully there are few civilians who can see him from where he is, but it’s still enough to call attention to anyone curious enough to check up on that peculiar burst of flame.]

Page Against the Machine [OPEN]
[The Songerein Wikki Archives proved far smaller than Joshua initially thought they would be when he first questioned about their existence. However, the treasure trove of information is far from disappointing, and he’s found himself darting in and out of the archive over the course of multiple days, poring over text after text in search of the truth about his noctaere incident.]

[Days that he’s easily spent hour upon hour deep in research. Sure, he could take the books home, and he has a couple of times, but there was something about the atmosphere that made him more productive in his search.]

[Or it would if he could find exactly what he was looking for.]

[Joshua’s tired eyes scan the pages with increasing frustration. The symbols blur together, and the words become a dissonant jumble in his mind. If anyone were to ask, he’d vehemently deny it, but the truth is that he hasn't slept much, if at all. The lines between the past and present practically disappear as fatigue gnaws at his resolve. He's run himself ragged, driven by the need to understand why this incident echoes the burden his body bears back home. He’d trapped that monster within him wholly of his own volition, and he would gladly undertake the task a hundred times over if it meant protecting his brother, but he can’t deny its mental and physical toll.]

[Joshua should have been free of that malady—he certainly was from others—in this form made to traverse dreams, and yet…]

[…he has run into nothing but wall after wall. He’s uncovered plenty regarding the dangers of nightmares and noctaere, the cleansing thereof should one find oneself in possession (in all senses of the word) of one, and how to confront them, but nothing on their unique brand of affinity towards him. Or the other way around.]

[Leaning back in his chair, arms limp in an undignified spread over its sides as if defeated, Joshua huffs his displeasure aloud.]

Founder preserve me, if it is not one thing it is another.

[Lamentations thrive on woe and despair, neither of which are solutions, but they sure feel good when you’re grumpy.]

[This probably isn’t a good impression for anyone meeting him for the first time, and to anyone who’s gotten to know Joshua a little bit over the past month and a half, it’s definitely a change.]

Fortune Favors the Cave [CLOSED TO RYU]
[Joshua's heart pounds in his chest as he and Ryu stand at the entrance of the cave, the glow from the small orb of fire he’s called forth to light their way flickering against the rough, jagged walls. Shrouded in darkness, the deep cavern holds the answers he seeks to the mystery of what has happened to the Orkilins’ precious dreamotion crystals. Despite their undeniable beauty, Joshua can't shake his feelings toward these otherworldly, yet somehow familiar, gems.]

[He remembers his home, where the power of crystals was both revered and feared. They were coveted for their power to cast the magicks that only came naturally to a select few, manipulating the very essence of life. But it was that very power that slowly inched Valisthea into chaos and ruin. The Blight, its swathes of death and decay sprawling across the land like a sickness, was, as far as he and the others knew, the product of the Mothercrystals’ insatiable thirst for aether. Joshua had seen firsthand the destruction crystals could cause. It would be foolish to say this knowledge doesn’t at least partially fuel his determination to uncover the truth behind the recent thefts.]

[As they begin to venture into the cave, the walls seem to close in around them, and the echoes of their footsteps bounce off the rocky terrain. Joshua's eyes remain fixed on the crystal formations, their soft, ethereal glow casting an eerie light. He can't deny their beauty, but it's the knowledge of their potential devastation that keeps his fingers from reaching out to touch them.]

[Joshua's oddly quiet, even for someone as reserved as he is. Ryu may want to break the ice for this one!]

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[ Kazuya studies him intently for a few moments silently after he finishes explaining. Not only had Naoya saved him once, but twice. ]

You're either pretty lucky or you managed to interest him quite a bit, then.

[ He finally says, after a beat as he leans back and gives Josh his personal space back once more.

Though he still seems incredibly curious. ]

Well, I'm glad he did decide to save you, either way.

As am I.

[When Kazuya leans back, Joshua follows, returning to their previous equilibrium. That feels much better.]

[Although now many questions require begging.]

I cannot speak for my luck, but I can speak for what may have sparked Naoya's interest.

[He slides his current book over so it sits between the two of them. The pages are adorned with different illustrations of noctaere in various shapes and sizes.]

Beforehand, may I ask what you know of the noctaere already?

Not much, really. Just that they're nightmare beasts that like to attack people, for the most part. And that they're kind of dangerous? Or can be.

[It's clear that someone hasn't paid them too much mind. A combination of "Out of sight, out of mind", and the fact that Naoya had apparently dealt with one and only got a bit of bruising for his efforts.

He'll flip between a few pages, taking in what they looked like, reading a few descriptions that are there..]

Correct.

[Joshua rests his elbows on the table while Kazuya peruses the book, he cradled his chin in one hand, deep in thought.]

Their danger transcends attacking people. If one is exposed to enough nightmare energy or negative emotion, they risk becoming a noctaere as well.

[He reaches out and points to an illustration of a very human looking monster.]

Normally this occurs through having excessive nightmares or negative thoughts.

[Normally.]

You can turn into one with excessive nightmares or negative thoughts?

[Uh-oh! Him and Naoya are... probably in danger, then. Between Naoya's nightmares and his own constant demon induced negative thoughts coupled with his own more frequent than normal nightmares. Wow, that would suck. Turning into another monster after already turning into a monster.

He really can't catch a break, can he?

Well, maybe there's something poetic in him and Naoya potentially turning into these monsters together.]

That sucks.

[What an incredibly apt way to put it. Thanks, Kazuya.]

[He has literally never heard that saying before in his life, please give him a moment, Kazuya.]

[Context clues, general tone... okay. Joshua understands. He's pretty sure he does.]

It is not ideal, no.

As long as one manages to keep clear of such things, there is little need to worry.

[Again, normally.]

But you and him didn't keep clear.

[ Obviously. Naoya has the bruises to prove it. He tilts his head inquisitively. ]

Are you worried you might have some sort of side effect from fighting it?

[Joshua falls silent again.]

We did, and we did not.

[Cool riddle speak, bro.]

Naoya first found me after I had destroyed a smaller noctaere attacking a civilian. Instead of disappearing, however, part of it entered my body. For lack of better words, I absorbed it. Unwillingly.

[Unconsciously, he raises his free hand to his chest.]

He witnessed that moment, which is when I believe the interest you speak of may have piqued.

Shortly after, we fought another, larger noctaere together. One who was attacking more civilians. The same thing occurred once again.

You need not worry about him. Naoya was fine afterward. However, a piece of the destroyed creature also found its way inside of me. I remember little after that, save for some conversation surrounding the abilities he used in battle.

[Related, now that Joshua knows Kazuya is the cousin Naoya spoke about, he's going to have some questions. He'll hold off for a bit, though.]

Edited (wooooooord choice) 2023-10-18 14:58 (UTC)

That would do it.

[ He nods. If Joshua absorbed noctaere bits, then it stands to reason that of course Naoya would be interested in him. That's just the kind of person he is when he's presented with something new.

But Kazuya's gaze sharpens a little as well, regarding Joshua in a way that's likely reminiscent of Naoya.

Kazuya himself knows what it's like to absorb something a human shouldn't. ]

Sounds less than ideal, to absorb noctaere pieces. You sure you're fine?

Edited (phone... typos) 2023-10-18 16:32 (UTC)

[Although he doesn't flinch at the sharpening of Kazuya's eyes (he's been at the receiving end of such a gaze plenty of times in his life), Joshua can't deny that it makes him feel exposed. Like a child caught with his hand in a jar of sweets.]

I...

[His voice trails off. His initial instinct is to brush off concern by insisting that, yes, he is very much fine, thank you, please go about your day. But this is new magic. Dangerous magic.]

[At the same time, shouldering one's own problems comes naturally to a Rosfield. It's practically in his blood. What's the use in worrying others when there's little they can do?]

[He heaves a sigh.]

I feel no different [not a lie, technically], however, it would be wise to avoid any potential unpleasantries.

[ How similar is this situation to his own? Noctaere aren't demons, but they're definitely not something someone probably wants to absorb, even small pieces of.

And yet Joshua insists he's fine, that he doesn't feel any different, and while Kazuya doesn't have any reason to disbelieve him, the pause from early gives him a little concern. ]

Unpleasantries like what? This is what you're in here looking for answers for, right? Why you'd be able to absorb something like that in the first place and the potential effects of it?

[It's fine. Everything is fine. Keep your head up, keep marching forward. That's how things get done.]

Precisely.

[Joshua taps the book, as if the the motion would be enough to magically conjure some kind of answer, but there's nothing for his efforts outside of a muted thump that mirrors each dead end he's come across.]

But thus far, none of these tomes hold the answers to those questions.

What if you're one of the first?

[ Kazuya doubts the only one, but the first is likely enough. He just hasn't been here very long.]

Or maybe one of the other people here will know, if it's not in any of the books.

Edited (i need to stop phone tagging im constantly eating shit for it) 2023-10-19 06:23 (UTC)

[Whether he's one of the few or one of the first, this is the kind of situation where being special feels way more bad than good.]

Hopefully you're right.

[Joshua's pensive gaze lands on the book between them.]

[Then, he closes his eyes, as if resigned. After taking a breath, he opens them, not quite renewed, but with some semblance of purpose.]

[If this is to be his lot, then he'll make the best of it. Like he always has.]

In the interim, I will chronicle what I can. If the information does not exist already, it would be remiss not to try to provide it for anyone's future must needs.

It's not a bad idea to do that. [He agrees, readily when Joshua says he'll chronicle what he can, which makes him wonder if maybe there is some kind of a side effect that's happening from what happened to him. You don't really say you're going to write down what's happening to yourself if nothing is happening, after all.

Kazuya drums his fingers against the table, an outlet for his nervous energy.

He doesn't really want to say anything about his own situation, on the off chance it might get out and make people look at him differently (with terror, is the big one), but he also recognizes that the situation isn't too dissimilar from his own, and maybe he might be able to provide some kind of insight.

Kazuya slumps a little against the table, at war with himself. It's not like there's a war for the throne of noctaere here, is there?

There better not be.]

Just don't get so caught up in writing down what happens that you forget to ask for help when you need it, alright?

[In response, Joshua offers a small upturn of the corners of his mouth, barely a smile but not devoid of emotion.]

I will do my best to remember.

[He’s not one to make empty promises. To say that, without a doubt, he will take care of himself would be exactly that. Trying, though, that much he can guarantee. Joshua isn’t in any rush to put himself into dire straits, but many times priorities dictate his well-being is placed aside in favor of more pressing matters.]

[And it seems like he isn’t the only one dealing with some sort of conflict.]

[Between explicit training and implicit intuition, Joshua has a keen eye for small changes in behavior. Negotiation requires such skills; any weakness shown, no matter how minute, can be taken advantage of. It’s all part of the game.]

[This moment, however, is not. Kazuya isn’t an opponent at the opposite end of a war room or political chamber. He’s an acquaintance who shared music and culture and advice. If Joshua can extend the same congeniality, he absolutely will.]

Something troubles you.

[Not an accusation or a jab; only an observation.]

[ He doesn't seem surprised whem he's called out that something is bothering him too. He drums his fingers again, a little faster than before, as he silently considers his options. To tell or not to tell. To share his very much lived and current experience, or wait and see if something might be a little too similar in an already similar situation.

Ugh. ]

A bit. [ He says, after a long stretch of silence with his gaze just about anywhere else. ]

I'm just kind of worried. If you saw Naoya fighting, then you know he uses demons. [ Is what he settles on. Not quite revealing the whole truth. ] I just wonder how similar the Noctaere are to them, and what it might mean for you to have absorbed some of said noctaere.

[ He can't ask more pointed questions about the situation, despite how much he wants to. Was it cold? Did it make you want to fall to your knees? Did you feel powerful, for even a moment? Are all thoughts he has swirling around in his head.

[Joshua listens, waits, and observes, making no motion towards trying to pull any information out of Kazuya. The nervous drumming doesn’t seem to faze him or his patience.]

[He hums in thought.]

I cannot be sure.

[His hand comes up to his chin again as he tries to recall what exactly happened that day. Some of it is fuzzy, blurred by fatigue and pain, but there are some key details that manage to come to mind.]

I remember that Naoya’s demons did not incite the same reaction in me as the noctaere.

They wouldn't. They're under a contract and bound to him. It might be different if it was a wild demon, though.

[ "Might", hah. ]

From my understanding, demons and noctaere might not be all that different. Especially when it comes to negative emotions.

Ah, yes. He mentioned the contracts as well as the device he uses to call forth the demons. It’s similar to your orche—pardon, your MP3 player. Larger.

[He lets that stew for a bit, considering a few different possibilities.]

Although I sensed no negative energy akin to that of the noctaere, you could be right in that the contract seals it away.

That still begs the question if it is its own type of power, or if it is based in nightmares. If the former, then your cousin may be safe. If the latter, then I know not the potential side effects.

Ah, yeah. The COMPs. I have one too.

[He nods, patting his back pocket where he keeps his. Not that he needs it, it's more of a safety blanket after everything.]

I wouldn't say a contract really seals anything away when it comes to demons. It's more that they just can't hurt the summoner, and they have to obey you.

[They're pretty happy to still be lethal where needed...]

Naoya will be safe, no matter what the outcome is. [He waves his hand dismissively.] I won't let anything bad happen to him.

[Joshua watches Kazuya carefully, noting the conviction in his words. He can't help but feel a mix of curiosity and concern about these mysterious powers, but he knows better than to push too hard for information. He'll push casually, as one does.]

[It helps that the topic of family is part of the conversation. From the sound of it, Kazuya and Naoya care about one another, or at the very least what happens to one another. That's heartening.]

The two of you are confident in one another's capabilities.

[He smiles fondly, as if thinking about something else for a moment.]

[It's his brother. He's thinking about his brother.]

If I may, have you used your--COMP, you called it?--to summon demons here as well? Mayhap the experience will provide more clues if you have.

[He nods to the observation. Naoya has... been at this a lot longer than him. Where Kazuya has the raw power and strength, Naoya has the millenia of experience and knowledge. They work well together, and Kazuya trusts Naoya with his life.]

I have... A few times, actually. [Though it had been far from life threaten reasons. More out of convenience than anything, and then once to save Naminé from her strange gum bubble. That'd been back when he first arrived, though. Same with using Culebre to help get his headphones back.

... And then Cabracan to help with that, though that demon was summoned from his own will.]

Why, did you want me to summon one of them so you could check them out?

[Initially, Joshua wants to refuse. Kazuya shouldn’t have to inconvenience himself for the sake of his curiosities. A simple explanation should suffice.]

[But if Kazuya summons the demon, then Joshua can see firsthand if it pulls a reaction. When he was with Naoya, he was already in pain, so that wasn’t a good point of reference.]

[This time could be different.]

[Just as long as it doesn’t cause any harm to Kazuya.]

That isn’t a bad idea. As long as it wouldn’t cause you any trouble.

[He considers their surroundings.]

…We should also step outside.

[ He tilts his head a little as Joshua suggests that they take the summoning outside, before realizing that yeah, a library isn't the best place to be summoning any demons of any kind.

He shifts and stands, turning the chair back to its proper position and under the desk. ]

Won't cause any trouble at all. Promise.

[ And he means it. That's just how it works, being the absolute king of all demonkind. He does pause momentarily though. ]

Do you have a preference on which kind I summon?

I've been shaking, waking in the night light

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