seventh dream 🌻 beautiful and devastating

[multidisciplinary]

Who: TOTK Zelda and Alastor
Which: Closed interactive dream
Where: Zelda's dreamscape, backdated to early February, before Al's canon update
What: Zelda dreams about what Link showed her in a previous dream and tries to use her dreamotion
Warnings: Massive Tears of the Kingdom spoilers, also some themes of death, self-sacrifice, and probably a touch of suicidal ideation. (Zelda's opt-out can be found here.)



[ When Alastor enters the dreamscape, he will find himself in central Hyrule, a temperate climate of gently rolling hills, green and grassy fields, and little copses of deciduous trees dotting the landscape here and there. Hyrule is a vast kingdom and even this single region seems to stretch out endlessly towards the horizon in all directions.

And yet, the landscape is somehow dwarfed by the tremendous white and gold dragon that dives down from the sky towards Alastor. The creature looks noticeably similar to the blight-infected dragon that he fought last summer, the one that violently guarded a sleeping princess in a crystal. For a moment, it almost seems like the dragon is intentionally trying to crash into him, but it adjusts its trajectory so that it swoops over him instead. Gusting winds whip against him as the creature soars over his head and then heads back up into the sky. ]

No, not there! I called you here!

[ And there's Zelda, running through the grass in a futile attempt to catch the dragon as it flies away. Even though it's her own dream, somehow the princess can neither speed herself up nor slow the dragon down and she eventually comes to a panting halt not far from Alastor. ]

Goddess... take you... you miserable-- A-Alastor?

Comments

[multidisciplinary]

[ As Zelda listens, an uneasy chill prickles at the back of her neck. She has long known that Alastor lived an, for lack of a better word, unsavory life before he died, but only in the general sense. Actually hearing the details of that life, death, and descent into Hell --seeing the killer he once was, his disarming appearance a stark contrast to his cruelty-- it's disquieting, to say the least. (Terrifying if Zelda is completely honest with herself.)

If most demons are like Alastor, it's little wonder people are so fearful of the mere word.

The point of his anecdote isn't lost on Zelda, despite being muddled somewhat by the unsettling context that accompanies it. In fact, one thing in particular strongly resonates with the princess: "He became me when he died, but I never fully stopped being him."

She turns her troubled gaze skyward, towards the being that she will become when she dies. The Light Dragon has stilled her loops and floats idly in the sky above them, like a buoy bobbing in the sea. When Zelda looks at it, all she sees are the differences between the two of them. The dragon looks so alien that Zelda never would have guessed it was her if Link hadn't told her. ]

How do you think he would feel, if he knew he would become you? [ He, the human Alastor.

Zelda doesn't look away from the Light Dragon. How does it feel, when it looks upon the princess? Does it even feel anything at all? Mineru said it wouldn't; not a single shred of 'Zelda' will remain after she swallows the secret stone. And though Zelda has insisted to Link that she will recognize him when he finds the Light Dragon in the future, a small part of her heart fears this to be a lie. ]

[lonelysmiles]

[Unfortunately, the context had been necessary to help get across his point. If he hadn't given it, she would've inevitably asked for it.]

[Alastor follows her gaze to the Light Dragon.]

I don't think he'd like me much largely because I've never really liked me much. However, I think he'd be pleased that I kept up our oath and didn't fall into mindless degeneracy after my predictable fall to Hell. I've always been a monster, darling, even when human. I swore I'd hunt my fellow monsters so the good people around me could live better lives without the monsters preying on their generosity and other virtues. Not every sinner in Hell is a complete monster. Some people just made a few too many awful choices but were otherwise good people.

I do think that he'd be happy with what I've done here in getting the radio started along with hunting the noctaere that stalk the outskirts of Reverein. Though mildly disappointed that there isn't a proper swamp. [He chuckles.] I do so miss the bayou.

[He nods to the Light Dragon.]

But I don't think she'll mind you as much as you seem to think. Her way of thinking might not be the same as ours. I know mine certainly shifted when I went from mortal human to practically-immortal demon.

If you ask me, I think she's the one you should be talking to.

[multidisciplinary]

[ There's something unconventionally reassuring in Alastor's words that helps settle her disquiet feelings about him, the budding fear that she might have misjudged him all these years. But it seems she hasn't. A monster, he calls himself, and Zelda would be naïve to argue against that, so she won't. But a monster a bit different from the rest. Neither fully good nor fully evil, but somewhere in between, as most people are.

His suggestion that she talk to the Light Dragon, however, does not receive the same benefit of the doubt.

Zelda frowns in the dragon's direction; the dragon, in turn, simply blinks its rainbow eyes. ]

I wish that I could, but I can't. It is not capable of speech.

[ Which is true. The Light Dragon cannot speak in the conventional manner. But it certainly understands Zelda-- as well as Alastor, as he noticed earlier. It uncurls its serpentine form and swims up into the clouds again. ]

...And now it's gone. Again. [ She heaves a defeated sigh. ]

[lonelysmiles]

Just because she can't speak doesn't automatically mean she doesn't understand. You just need to find an alternate way to communicate, learn to listen with more than just your ears: body language, posture, the sounds she makes when happy or upset. It'll require time and hard work but it isn't impossible.

[He gestures to where the Light Dragon disappeared.]

And before you ask, I'm quite certain she understands what we say. After all, she is you. If anything, I imagine it's quite frustrating to want to speak but be unable to do so. Whomever she wishes to speak to, she needs them to pay very close attention in order to share a message.

[His smile remains in place but his eyes are sad.]

She's likely incredibly lonely as a result of having so much she wishes to say but no one to listen.

[multidisciplinary]

[ "She's likely incredibly lonely..."

Alastor's words hit Zelda forcefully, causing her heart to ache something fierce. Lonely. Of course it must be lonely. It has been circling the skies of Hyrule for centuries, millennia, eons, alone with only the Master Sword and Zelda's duty for all that time.

A rumble of thunder sounds overhead. Daylight dims as clouds swiftly fill the sky, dark gray and heavy with rain. Somewhere within the cloud cover, the Light Dragon lets out a terrible, heartbreaking cry, a sound that's closer to an anguished wail than a dragon's roar. ]

She's lonely...

[ A few droplets fall from the clouds, like the prelude to a downpour. In the corners of Zelda's eyes, tears pool. ]

I created this dreamscape because I wanted to learn how to control her.

I know that I must become her in order to save Hyrule. If I don't, the Master Sword will never grow strong enough to defeat the Demon King. But I thought that, maybe if I learn how to control the Light Dragon while I'm here in Songerein, then maybe I won't have to lose everything about myself to become her.

[ Another rumble of thunder, and then the rain begins to fall. ]

I'm... I'm scared. I'm scared to become her.

[lonelysmiles]

Of course you are. Honestly, I'd be concerned if you weren't. Everyone fears death on some level. I never claimed to be completely sane, but I was terrified when that hunter aimed his rifle at my head to make my end quick because despite all my beliefs in an afterlife, there's still that terror because I didn't know for certain what was coming next. Would there be an afterlife? If there was, what would it be like? What affect would my living actions have on it? If there wasn't, would I simply cease? Would everything I'd ever accomplished ultimately be for nothing?

[It'd been ninety years since he'd felt that terror, but he'd felt it again on the old Hazbin Hotel's roof when Adam's power broke through his defenses and sliced his microphone in half before a second strike nearly cleaved him in two. He'd gotten complacent in Hell and Reverein. He'd risked his existence in both places for people he'd become...accustomed to. The last time he'd used "friend", the lady in question had woken up from this shared dream. Best not to risk it here. While everything had worked out in both cases, it was his near-second death experience on the roof that made him realize how much of a bullet he'd dodged in Orkili when keeping the reactor from blowing up.]

The only people who know for certain what happens after death are those who died...and they're unable to tell the living what comes next.

[He looks up at where the Light Dragon disappeared.]

Of course you're afraid, and I won't tell you not to be. However, I will tell you that this is a situation you can't control. Learning to command her here won't matter in the end. Because eventually she's going to have to fly on her own, make decisions for situations you never even imagined. And I know that for a fact because the living me could've never fathomed the things I've come across in just ninety years after death. However, that isn't to say you won't have some influence.

She will always remember you just as I will always remember him. Even if the details fade, the names and faces blur as her own experiences fill her mind, your place in history becomes a footnote at best in your people's collective consciousness, you will always be with her in some capacity through your lingering influence affecting the choices she makes in the future.

You have every right to be terrified, but you've been given an opportunity here: You can make peace with your fate even as it scares you.

[multidisciplinary]

[ His words resonate with her, giving form to vague fears that have been steadily growing inside Zelda for months now. What will happen to 'Zelda' after she dies to become the Light Dragon? What comes next? Will some part of her live on inside the Light Dragon, as Link as suggested, or will she simply cease to exist, as Mineru said? Would all of her accomplishments in life ultimately be for nothing, rendered meaningless in the face of one last act of sacrifice?

The cold fingers of mortal fear climb up the back of her neck. A chill wind blows in from the north, making Zelda shiver. She wraps her arms around herself in a vain attempt at warmth. The few raindrops trickling from the cloud cover overhead freeze with the sudden temperature change, and come drifting down from the sky as snowflakes. From within the clouds, the Light Dragon wails and wails.

Although Alastor's words stir up the cold and fearful feelings Zelda has been trying to ignore, they themselves are not cold. Quite the opposite, in fact. They spark in the princess's mind, like a blade striking flint.

"She will always remember you..."

"Even if the details fade, the names and faces blur as her own experiences fill her mind... you will always be with her..."

"You can make peace with your fate even as it scares you."

Zelda turns her gaze skyward again. ]

I want to make peace with it-- with her. I just.... I do not know how.

[ She says this and yet, the Light Dragon's cries cease, leaving the air ringing in the sudden silence. A long shadow moves within the cloud cover. The atmosphere is heavy with the threat of a storm, hesitant and distrusting.

Then, at long last, dragon dives down again, breaking through the clouds and scattering them. Patchy sunlight shines down on the field where Zelda and Alastor stand, not from the sun itself, but from the Light Dragon herself. The sun itself seems to glow radiant in her scales and her mane.

At first, it seems to take a surprisingly long time for her very large form to descend from the sky, but as she gets closer, she seems to be .... shrinking. Scaling down from a monolithic fear that commands the skies and Zelda's psyche to something significantly less threatening. Closer and closer, smaller and smaller, until the dragon touches down on the field. She is still tremendous, standing as tall as a horse and exponentially longer, but nothing compared to what she was before. ]

[lonelysmiles]

I can't give specific instructions but I imagine it isn't much different than those last fleeting seconds before that hunter pulled the trigger.

[He smiles gently at the Light Dragon, walking a bit away so he could stand off to one side, to keep both versions of Zelda in his peripheral vision.]

Everything dies eventually, Miss Zelda. Nobody truly lives forever. And when you're face to face with your end, it feels like standing on a cliff overlooking the water, knowing that you have no choice left but to jump. The waters are dark, and you have no idea what waits for you below the surface. It could be far shallower than you think, killing you instantly on hidden sharp rocks, or it could be far, far deeper than you ever imagined filled with strange new creatures.

But you can accept what's happening. You don't have to like it -- we spend our entire lives running from death -- but you have the choice to face it head-on. When you do, that's when you close your eyes, take a breath, hold the memories of those you care for close...and jump.

[The illusion of Alastor in his living form vanishes but, for just a moment, Alastor looks like a blend of his demonic self and his human one: His irises are still red but his sclera are white. His hair and ears have turned brown where the red used to be. Even his claws seem a bit blunter, their color gone dark rather than the vicious red tips they'd been. His clothing had changed from various forms of red to a brown coat with ribbons of white symbols flowing along it and his shirt had turned white.]

Everything dies, but it's not an ending. It's just making room for new life to thrive.

🎀

[multidisciplinary]

[ "And when you're face to face with your end, it feels like standing on a cliff overlooking the water, knowing that you have no choice left but to jump."

As Zelda stares at the Light Dragon, who stares at the princess in return, the cold fingers on the back of her neck curl themselves around her throat. She feels a familiar pressure beneath them, one that has woken her up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night repeatedly. A lump that she cannot swallow no matter how hard she tries, lodged in her throat at exactly the same spot where her secret stone rests against her neck.

"The waters are dark, and you have no idea what waits for you below the surface."

She feels the urge to swallow over and over again, trying to force down that phantom lump. It's not there, she knows it's not there, because she can feel her chest rising with panicked breaths. But when she looks into those rainbow eyes, she feels it-- the last moments of Princess Zelda.

These aren't Zelda's memories. They're her's, the Light Dragon's. Despite being a creation of Zelda's dreamotion, she is based on Link's memories. And Link, somehow, impossibly, saw Zelda's memories through the tears shed by the Light Dragon all across Hyrule.

This is how it all ends. A noble sacrifice, the Master Sword clutched in her hands. Cold. Alone. Frightened.

"But you can accept what's happening."

Zelda takes one hesitant step forward, then another, and another, rushing across the field towards the Light Dragon. The dragon lowers its head to the princess, allowing Zelda to see clearly the Master Sword lodged at the center of her forehead, her golden mane curled around it like centuries of overgrown vines.

This time, the lump in her throat is no longer a phantom feeling-- it's emotions and tears welling up as she regards this beautiful, heartbreaking creature.

"That's when you close your eyes, take a breath, hold the memories of those you care for close...and jump."

She extends her right hand towards the dragon, unable to keep from trembling, until her palm connects with its head.

--Which she immediately draws back with a gasp.

She was expecting cold, hard scales, but the dragon's head is... soft. Downy, like feathers.

Nothing like she expected.

Zelda returns her hand, running her palm over the dragon's soft down. Then, slowly, she leans in and presses her forehead against it.

The Light Dragon is warm, radiant with the feeling of the sun on your skin, and there's something in its presence alone that feels so soothing. All of the princess's fears, all the coldness, the lump in her throat and the way she can't forget the feeling of choking on her secret stone-- it all washes away.

Zelda buries her face in the dragon's fur and weeps. The Light Dragon, in return, leans in ever so slightly.

This moment of peace will not last forever. The fear will return, the coldness, the loneliness, the feeling of the stone lodged in her throat. Even knowing that the waters on the other side are gentle and warm, the princess must still leap off the cliff someday. That act itself will be terrifying; the dragon has confirmed as much with her memories.

"Everything dies, but it's not an ending. It's just making room for new life to thrive."

Zelda pulls away from the dragon and straightens, finally turning to where Alastor now stands. He's... changed. Not quite his human self, but not his demon form either. Something in between, some kind of harmony between two distinctly separate beings.

That. That is what she wants. Not the power to control the Light Dragon, but the serenity to accept it as her eventuality. Not just Zelda's death, but the dragon's birth.

And in a way, Princess Zelda will never die. Not completely. Who she is, the sum of her memories and her undying love for her kingdom, will live on in the Light Dragon.

Zelda doesn't have any words for Alastor. Nothing she can think of feels sufficient. So she simply nods her gratitude, smiles from her place beside the dragon.

The sun sets on Hyrule and the dream ends. ]