songerein | [CLOSED] Search out that place you can never return to.

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[CLOSED] Search out that place you can never return to.

Who: Yato, Hiyori, Kazuma
Which: Closed Log
Where: Their treehouse
What: Yato comes close to succumbing to blight, but instead gets a trip home. (Forward dated to April 30)
Warnings: Allusions to death, trauma, memory loss.

[The past few months have been something of a trial for Yato: being stung by an unknown cause, which he recently learned was his best bro Kazuma, to allergies that have been changing him from his normal self to that of his dreamscape form as a young child.

With the worsening of the blight during the Flower Festival, it's begun spreading to an extraordinary degree, to the point where it now covers almost every inch of his skin with burning purplish-red, bruise-like marks that emit a haze. Laid up in bed and unable to move, all he can do is prepare for the end. He doesn't know whether or not it's reincarnation that awaits him or merely Songerein's version of rebirth, but either way he's eager for anything other than the agony of being eaten away.

Only neither comes to pass.

That night he's whisked away from Songerein and returned home, with no trace of him left. Three days it takes for any sign of him to manifest. And when he does, it's not in the same form.

No, when Yato again opens his eyes to Songerein, it's with the wide blue ones of a child. Everything seems unfamiliar to him, from the strange house inside a tree to the miniature shrine - a shrine?? - on the bedside table. Dizzy from what feels like a long fall, he stumbles out of the bed (so fluffy and soft...!) to crash onto the floor thanks to the sheets tangled around his small legs. But there's no longer a trace of blight anywhere on him. It's like the clock has been turned back a thousand-plus years.

Grunting and huffing, he finally slips free of the bedding and rushes over to the shrine, lifting it up in both hands with a look of delighted wonder. He's never seen such a tiny shrine, but it's so cute, so colorful! Is it a shrine for him? Where did it come from? Who made it? Or better still, where is he?

Seeing the bedroom door, he slowly creeps towards it with shrine in hand, and peeks out.]

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In the three days of Yato's disappearance, Kazuma had made it a point of contention to avoid Hiyori as much as possible. There's only so much guilt that one guy can handle, knowing that it was his utter failure of upholding a strict control over his emotions that had lead to Yato's death, and his own on-going affliction with blight. Having to see Hiyori so heart broken? It made the tree bark like mark near his neck and shoulder area itch.

Kazuma was scratching at the back of his neck when he heard sounds of what appeared to be a struggle from Yato's room, Kazuma ventured out to see just what excatly was going on. Perhaps Hiyori had left a window open and an animal had wondered in?

What he did not expect was the sight of a tiny little god clenching onto his tiny shrine.

"Y-Yato?" Kazuma hesitantly asked, taking a step back from the doorway and hopefully giving the toddler enough space not to provoke an fight or flight response.

As the footsteps approach, Yato clings harder to the door, too frightened to move. There's nowhere for him to go - he's in a room with only one exit, aside from a window, and that as a point of escape doesn't occur to him. So he's left staring up at this tall man who starts looming over him, only to backtrack before he can frighten the young god away.

Even though Yato's instinct is to run - where? - he remains rooted to the spot when the stranger calls his name, earning an even more startled look.

He... knows his name? Just who is he? A friend of his father's? No, that can't be it. Father doesn't know that Sakura called him Yato. Only Hiiro does. But does she know anyone else? He has so many questions and no way to find out any answers, because he's not allowed to speak to people. Father's rules.

Instead, he points at himself questioningly with one hand, the other still desperately holding onto the mini shrine like it may serve to protect him.

"Mmngh?"

Yeah, sorry, Kazuma. That's as good as you're getting from the freshly arrived god. No proper conversation is to be had here just yet.

Huh?

Out of all the different responses that Kazuma was prepared for- the absolutely adorable one was not on his list to be ready for.

'He probably doesn't know where he is, much less who I am,' Kazuma thought as he slid down to his knees, sliding into the Big Brother role that he played for all of Viina's way too young shinkis.

"Hello Yato, My name is Kazuma and I am a shinki. I know that it may be scary right now but you live here with a human named Hiyori Iki and myself. You are in a safe place," Kazuma answered, purposely keeping his tone light and playful all the while his mind was rioting in confusion, anger at himself, guilt, relief, and swinging back into anger over a broken promise to hold out just a bit longer.

'Get ahold of yourself, you already caused Yato to die once, you do not have to kill him once more fresh from reincarnation.' Kazuma lectured himself, eagerly stomping down on those negative emotions and thoughts. 'This is a chance to correct your mistakes, do not waste it.'

For what it's worth, Yato doesn't take the movement as a threat to either lash out or flee further into the room; he merely watches curiously as Kazuma makes himself closer to his size. Something the young god is grateful for, since he's a long ways up standing normally. Almost as tall Father, it seems.

Though when it comes to the explanation he's offered, there's a distinct look of confusion. He... lives here? With a human who isn't Father? And where's Hiiro? Whose shinki is Kazuma? Father's? ...more importantly, how did he even get here? And... how does he get back? He'll be in trouble if he doesn't get home soon. Furrowing his brows, he lets out a noise in frustration and hugs the shrine tighter.

"Ngh!"

Safe or no, he juts out his lower lip into a pout and takes to staring at the floor. What does he do now? This person clearly knows him, but that does little answer the remainder of his questions. Still... knowing he's not about to be eaten by ayakashi keeps him from panicking, until he finally looks back to Kazuma curiously.

"Mmmgh?"

What now? Without Hiiro or Father or even Sakura to play with, what's he supposed to do?

"Yato, are you familiar with writing? If so maybe you can ask me all your questions?" Kazuma suggested, choosing to compartmentalize the growing bafflement as to why Yato has so far refused to properly speak to him. Perhaps it's a form of punishment? After all the last time that the two of them talked resulted in Yato's death.

"If not, I can keep on asking you Yes or No questions. Whatever you deem the most appropriate." Kazuma continued, tucking his hands (the one with his name etched on it, on top) in front of his lap.

That at least gets a proper nod from him and the first hint of excitement. Setting down the shrine, he scurries over to his desk and clambers up onto the chair in order to reach the notebook and pen that have been left there. Grabbing both, he hurries back to Kazuma and, flipping open to a fresh page, he scribbles roughing in archaic wording:

Whose shinki?

That's clearly the most important issue here, naturally. He needs to know if he's one of Father's or somebody else's. ...although if he isn't Father's, then perhaps it hardly matters. Hmmm. Oh well. He's still curious.

It took Kazuma a second to recognize the dated writing, but when he did Kazuma couldn't help but smile gently. It has been a rather long time since he came across someone also familiar with ancient writing.

"Ah, I am Lord Bishamonten's Head Shinki. If you promise to follow a few little rules with me, I can be your shinki as well." Kazuma falsely enthused, giving the little god a wide smile that dared to crinkle the corners of his eyes and mask his true feelings about the matter.

That gets Yato's eyes all wide and impressed, both for who Kazuma serves and the fact he's a head shinki himself. So he eagerly nods his head repeatedly, opening his mouth to say something only to close it again quickly. No, he can't... He'll get in trouble with Father if he disobeys him. Although-- what Father doesn't know, he can't be punished for, right...? It's a novel thought but one he has all the same.

Still, his own shinki...! This time he knows better than to reveal his true name, so... it should be fine. Wringing his little hands together in excitement, he stares at Kazuma expectantly, then remembers the paper and writes:

What rules do I have to follow?

Yato's pure and innocent little antics pulled at Kazuma's heart and for the first time since his arrival, he thought of Daifuku and the little shinki that he had adopted for a little while.

"Okay Yato- The first rule that I have is that I get to pick my own name. I am very particular about what I like to be called and if it is a name that I do not like I would not listen to you. That would be very bad for both of us!" Kazuma answered, keeping his tone light but serious enough to nail in the fact that he would not budge on that rule.

"My second rule is to let me keep the blight that I have. I did some bad things and the way that I am saying sorry is that I am allowing myself to be blighted." Kazuma hesitantly added, wringing his hands, his shoulders hunched together. "Those are my only two rules, everything else is yours to decide."

The first rule Kazuma proposes goes over well. He's beginning to understand just how important names really are to people, especially once Sakura dubbed him "Yato" instead of "Yaboku." It had been a little weird and uncomfortable at first, but as they gradually grew closer it became more of a pet name than a misnomer.

So he nods and writes down his agreement both, to show that he understands that rule explicitly. No problems there. He can use whatever name Kazuma chooses as easily as if he were to pick it out himself. Who knows? They might even have similar tastes in names! It's something he won't know until Kazuma reveals what he wants to be called.

The second rule, however, gets a look of worry from the young god. Blighted?! But that's-- That's bad you're supposed to heal blight, not let it linger? Why would he want to punish himself by hurting...? Yato himself hates it when he gets hurt, so it doesn't make any sense to him. But... he wants - needs - a shinki here, wherever this is. He knows in his heart that being unarmed makes him vulnerable. Exposed. It's... scary.

After a hum of discontent, he finally nods again, agreeing once more.

What name do you want?

"May I please be named Kazune with the regalia name Rekki? I really do like the way that name sounds. It's familiar to the name that Bishamon gave me." Kazuma answered, absently rubbing the top of his hand where his name rested bright red.

"I bet that when you name me, I will be something super cool and useful for you. When I am with Viina I am a super cool futuristic earring! I have useful navigation abilities with her!" Kazuma encouraged, hoping that all of his false cheer would be able to give the small God some support and confidence despite being in a unfamiliar place and surrounded by complete strangers.

'Kazune'... 'Rekki'... Yeah, he likes the sound of those names. Kazune reminds him of Sakura, and Rekki just sounds cool. He already knows what kanji is needed for it, too. So he starts to nod, but, realizing he'll have to speak anyway when naming Kazuma, he opts instead to finally speak. When he does, it comes out softly at first.

"...okay."

His curiosity is burning, wondering what Kazuma might become for him. Some other piece of jewelry? That'd be kinda lame, but... He'll never know unless he tries. So positioning himself an arm's length away, he levels a finger at Kazuma before beginning to recite, causing his fingertip to glow. He knows what's coming but still his small hand shakes somewhat.

"Grasping thy true name, I bind thee here. With borrowed name, I dub thee my servant. The name answers, the vessel to sound. I call thee my divine instrument.

The name, Kazu. The vessel, Reki. Come! Rekki!"

It's the same as when he named Sakura - the flood of images from Kazuma's birth through his childhood, to his teenage years which he never has the chance to leave behind, to the manner of his death - hands wrapped tightly around his neck, wringing the life out of him until it all fades in a flash.

Before he can help himself the tears are flowing down his cheeks as he sways in place, overcome by everything he just witnessed. So many emotions flow through him, with fear being the overriding one - the last thing Hirano Kiyotsugu felt prior to meeting his end.

It's all too much for Yato to handle. Wobbling, he pitches forward, face smacking into the floor with a resounding thud.

Oh!

Out of all the possible reactions to receiving his memories, passing out? That was not one of them, and as such- Kazuma was not prepared to capture Yato when he collapsed.

Releasing a bitten-off curse, Kazuma jumped forward. "I knew it, I knew it was too much. He just returned, he doesn't even have his full god abilities." Kazuma cursed at himself as he nervously checked the little god's vitals. "He DeSErVeS iT." The blight high-pitched squealed, even as Kazuma shook his head in denial, jerking his hands away from Yato once he had managed to roll his god onto his side.

It takes several agonizingly long moments before Yato's young mind is able to process all the information from Kazuma's life - because not only does he get his living life's story in full, glorious technicolor detail as though he were living it, but his spirit memories as well - everything since he became a shinki for Bishamon, up to and including the massacre of the Ma clan.

The fact that it was him who slew each and every one of those who made up Bishamonten's monstrous form as she was blighted almost beyond saving.

That he almost slew her again, thinking she'd captured Hiyori.

Kazuma using Rourou on Yukine - his other, precious shinki. Something that causes a surge of unbridled anger, and leaves him gritting his teeth as he lays there.

So many things... But finally, once the jumble of memories falls into place and he can breathe again, he begins opening his eyes to stare at Kazuma. Though still angry about a a lot of it, Kazuma's overwhelming sense of love of loyalty wins out. His own compassion being triggered by the shinki's desire to punish himself for blighting his second master.

"Kazu...ne... Don't blame yourself..."

That much he has to try making clear. That Kazuma has no need to carry the shame and guilt for being human.

That... That was easier said than done, unfortunately. While Yato gets to see the world from a whole new perspective, Kazuma is single-mindedly locked in a downward spiral of self-destruction, fortified with a steely determination that he was right and that he could not let himself waiver or else more significant errors could be made.

Yato himself was proof of that. Kazuma felt jealous of Yato and Hiyori's growing relationship and allowed himself to feel miserable about not being able to see his Goddess. With Yato now freshly healed of his blight, Kazuma mentally swore to take even firmer control over his emotions. He would not allow his human faults to cause Yato to die again, no matter what, which would require a shift in how he would treat Yato. From now on- Yato would not be the friend he had spent time with and joked around with; now, Yato would be treated with the due respect that a God requires and only that.

"I will try my best, Master, but if I do sting you, please do what you must, even if that requires you to release me," Kazuma answered, temporarily struggling over the bitter taste of calling Yato Master.

The only downside of Kazuma's new shift in how he treats Yato is that the young god is in possession of his memories - memories of them being friends, of all the times Kazuma paid his respects and insisted on trying to repay the debt he'd incurred by saving Bishamon. Which means that being called 'Master', rather than filling him with pride or delight, hurts almost as much as if Kazuma had stung him.

But he still has an idea of why the shinki is doing that. It doesn't mean he'll accept it right off the bat, though. No, he's got to try convincing him that what they had is fine. Because otherwise he'll have lost a friend, and right now he needs all the friends he can get.

Pushing himself upright, he wobbles a bit, but determinedly reaches out to get both hands on Kazuma's cheeks so he can look him in the eye. Despite being exhausted and overwhelmed, there's a steely look in his gaze.

"I'm not gonna release you right after naming you. That'd be stupid." And a waste of the pain he had to endure. "You don't have to call me 'Master', either, you know. Just 'Yato' is fine."

"I... I can't allow myself to cross that boundary again, Master. It's the reason why..." Despite the fact that his face was sandwiched between two tiny hands, Kazuma still tried his hardest to avoid looking Yato in his moonbright eyes.

"Please be careful with touching me. My blight is particularly bad around my throat and I would rather it not spread to you. There's no way to cleanse it, I don't recall the recipe to suppress it." Kazuma softly muttered, pulling Yato's hands away from his face and tuck him in front of himself. "Besides, You are a God and above using such familiar touches with Noras like me.

The reason why Yato is the way he is, he assumes is what Kazuma is getting at. Although it's not like Yato himself blames anyone for the state he's in, because really, to him everything is fairly normal aside from being somewhere far away from Father. Still, he allows his hands to be pulled away from the shinki's face with a pout. He could order Kazuma to call him by his name, but that seems mean when it's something so important to him. "You're so stubborn! But fine. I guess being called 'Master' is kinda cool."

At the warning he glances at his hands, relieved to see that he didn't accidentally touch any blight. It stings and burns painfully, he knows. Something he's not eager to experience again. "M'kay, I won't touch you, then. But it's got nothing to do with you being a nora. Hiiro's a nora, too! There's nothing wrong with that. We hold hands and whatever all the time."

Is being a nora really such a bad thing? He has no frame of reference that says so, but then, his scope of the world is pretty damn limited. Not that he's going to allow it color his perception of someone just because they have more than one name. If anything, doesn't that just mean they're more loved?

"C'mon, Kazuma. Don't mope! I'm not angry with you or anything."

"I know you aren't mad at me, Master, but it just will not do, especially here and now. You have quite a big pair of shoes to fill and you shouldn't get off on the wrong steps by repeating mistakes of the past. This is a chance to make you a proper god of fortune, and proper gods are usually talked about negatively when they use Noras as friends. Hiiro is incredibly dangerous and I have the same potential of being just as dangerous. What would happen if Viina came here and summoned me to her while you were in a dangerous situation? I would go to her in a heartbeat." Kazuma lectured, his tone careful and measured almost as if he was slipping into his Shinki tutoring mode.

It is an easier thing for Kazuma to handle, to fall back onto true and tried methods that he was raised on and has equally passed on to the newest members of the Ha clan.

Despite Kazuma's wise words, Yato can't help looking a tad dejected at how formal he is now compared to what he say in his shinki's memories. So much laughter and bantering together over the course of decades... It feels like he's lost something despite not having those exact memories, himself.

"I guess some of that makes sense... But I can't see you ever leaving me to get hurt. You're not like that. Nora isn't, either! I know you both care about me." Alas, he doesn't realize that both are patently untrue. He can't, missing his memories as he is. He has no way of knowing that betrayal from his dear sister is on the horizon some thousand years in the future.

"Besides, I'm happy to have you as my shinki, nora or not. You'll always be someone special to me now that I know how much you helped me." One thing that can be said about Yato is that he's quick to form bonds and loyal to a fault. It doesn't matter what the world thinks, those who are family are family, plain and simple.

How is it possible for Yato to remain so idealistic and naive yet also so determined to stay firm to his own ideals even when presented by someone who directly tells him differently? It's so frustrating yet refreshing in an oddly juxtaposed manner.

"If you say so, Master." Kazuma half-heartedly demurred, not wanting to put too much pressure on this landmine of a situation, so early. Perhaps with more time, he would be able to approach the topic once again.

"Would you like to summon me and try out some attacks? I would have to try all new attacks because you are much shorter than what I am used to." Kazuma suggested, turning his attention to an earlier matter to tackle. "I haven't been able to practice in that form since I arrived and I do not want to be crippled by laziness. "

Being a conundrum is something that Yato has always excelled at, even as an even smaller smol fry. Even before Sakura, really, when he started to hesitate during his culls. And after meeting her, he continued to be an enigma by helping make shoes for humans while heeding his father's calls to kill.

And yet thankfully Yato is still a child if a god; when presented with the opportunity to play with a new toy, he eagerly jumps on the chance with unbridled glee. Nodding enthusiastically, he scrambles to his feet and readies himself, fully expecting another sword like Hiki. Raising a hand up into the air, he calls out for his new shinki.

"Okay, Kazuma! Let's do this! Come, Rekki!"

What he gets is so much more: instead of simply gaining a weapon in his hand, it's like he's wrapped in a warm hug as Rekki forms on his small frame as a mini-sized tracksuit and scarf. Even the gloves are present, covering his small hands protectively. Although he does get the sword he was expecting, hoisting him with practiced ease.

"W-Wow...! A divine garment--! Kazuma, you're the best! So cool!"

"Ah, Good. I change to fit you even at this size." Kazuma's voice echoed across the space that made up the weird plane where shinki's go when in service.

"You should have seen some of Viina's best battle garments, now they are worthy of praise. Shoot, you had access to what I remember, " Kazuma happily answered, temporarily forgetting about his self-imposed punishment, his voice warm and proud and absolutely filled with the brim of love.

But it was only for a moment before he caught himself and mentally shook his head. "Right. Let's do some drills, Master. The faster that we can synchronize the better off we are. Do you remember our battle names and what they mean?"

"Yeah, it would've sucked if you were one size only!" Beaming at Rekki's sword form, he hurries for the front door in order for them to go outside where there's more space. And where they won't damage anything.

"I remember! Bishamon's always had the coolest outfits. I remember seeing her slay a dragon ayakashi once!" Contrary to his older self, this Yato speaks with plenty of admiration for Kazuma's mistress, also excited by her abilities and accomplishments.

Nodding along with Kazuma's words, he gets them to a clearing near the treehouses in short order. "Yup! Cloudburst and Crimson Bloom, right? So we can shoot all kinds of arrows everywhere and set things on fire!" He... probably shouldn't sound so excited... But then again, he is a child, with all the energy and enthusiasm that entails.

"Okay, Rekki, make a bow! I wanna give it a go!" Holding up his sword, he looks at Kazuma expectantly. Do it do it do it! Ahhh he can't wait to see it in person for himself...!

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[CLOSED] Search out that place you can never return to.

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