songerein | [CLOSED] Search out that place you can never return to.

Entry tags:

[CLOSED] Search out that place you can never return to.

Who: Yato, Hiyori, Kazuma
Which: Closed Log
Where: Their treehouse
What: Yato comes close to succumbing to blight, but instead gets a trip home. (Forward dated to April 30)
Warnings: Allusions to death, trauma, memory loss.

[The past few months have been something of a trial for Yato: being stung by an unknown cause, which he recently learned was his best bro Kazuma, to allergies that have been changing him from his normal self to that of his dreamscape form as a young child.

With the worsening of the blight during the Flower Festival, it's begun spreading to an extraordinary degree, to the point where it now covers almost every inch of his skin with burning purplish-red, bruise-like marks that emit a haze. Laid up in bed and unable to move, all he can do is prepare for the end. He doesn't know whether or not it's reincarnation that awaits him or merely Songerein's version of rebirth, but either way he's eager for anything other than the agony of being eaten away.

Only neither comes to pass.

That night he's whisked away from Songerein and returned home, with no trace of him left. Three days it takes for any sign of him to manifest. And when he does, it's not in the same form.

No, when Yato again opens his eyes to Songerein, it's with the wide blue ones of a child. Everything seems unfamiliar to him, from the strange house inside a tree to the miniature shrine - a shrine?? - on the bedside table. Dizzy from what feels like a long fall, he stumbles out of the bed (so fluffy and soft...!) to crash onto the floor thanks to the sheets tangled around his small legs. But there's no longer a trace of blight anywhere on him. It's like the clock has been turned back a thousand-plus years.

Grunting and huffing, he finally slips free of the bedding and rushes over to the shrine, lifting it up in both hands with a look of delighted wonder. He's never seen such a tiny shrine, but it's so cute, so colorful! Is it a shrine for him? Where did it come from? Who made it? Or better still, where is he?

Seeing the bedroom door, he slowly creeps towards it with shrine in hand, and peeks out.]

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Wh-wait!

[ for a lil guy, he's strong. that's a god for you. strength has been sapped from her since the festival, though. every day was like her meter dropped lower and lower until three days ago. she's been functioning on the fumes of perseverance rather than any motivation.

she nearly trips and falls from being let go and watching his hand slap over his mouth. with a confused look, she straightens herself out and frowns in contemplation. ever since she found him, he has been tight-lipped. not that she has any idea whether that's normal for a newborn god or not. nevertheless, she's glad to hear the excitement and the grin on his face.

meeting him halfway, hiyori bends down again and takes both his little hands in hers. she opens her mouth, intent on asking him what's wrong

and

gyurururururuuuu

she barely manages to bite her lip to conceal a smile. what a relief that she can at all. once more, she tries walking with him to the small kitchen hand in hand. ]

I was making rice, [ yeah. just rice. ] but we can turn it into something better. Mmmmm, rice pudding? And there are some blueberries. I think I remember how Y-- how my friend taught me how to make it. It's pretty simple but what else can I add to it...?

[Completely unaware of just how easily he could drag her from the house if he so desired, Yato comes to a sudden stop and thankfully gives up on trying to haul her along to see the wonder that is a real, huge (comparatively) shrine just for him. He's been around shrines before when Father was slaying other gods, but they never stayed long enough for him to really take in the majesty of them. He wonders what they look like without bloodstains everywhere.

Happy to have his hands held, he clings to her tightly with palms that are just a touch on the damp side. For a while he just... stares up at her with wide, innocent eyes that are an almost unearthly blue highlighting his inhuman pupils. Though he takes the form of a small child, it's still clear he's a denizen of the Far Shore, not belonging to this realm of the living.

Despite what his stomach might say.

Content to follow along with her for food, he continues staring up at her in an almost adoring manner. Already he feels some kind of special attachment to her, though the exact reason mystifies him. Is it her kindness? The fact she's looking after him? Or something else beyond his grasp? He isn't sure, but he doesn't want to let go once they reach the kitchen.]

...honey? Nuts? [He likes those things in food! But ah, he's curious...] Who's your friend? Can I meet them?

[The question falls from his lips naively, without even a glimmer of recognition for how much pain he might cause by asking something so simple. No idea that it might cut through her heart like his shinki.]

[ between yato's ~~old~~ bedroom door and the kitchen, hiyori can feel those blue eyes on her and, once, turns to flash him a small smile until they make it back to the stove where she was waiting for water to boil. she doesn't let go either, reaching with one hand to turn the knob and get the fire going on the burner. working with one hand isn't going to be easy... ]

Ooh! Both of those sound good! Let's do both.

[ mid-reach for the pantry, she hesitates and fights the sudden narrowing in her throat. ] He's, um. [ everything. gone. you, once. ] He's my God of Happiness...

[ like always, hiyori falls back onto the truth. unable to lie to a tiny god to save face. she avoids eye contact as she opens the cabinet but doesn't release his little hand with the other.

once her emotions are under control, she offers him an apologetic look. ]

Sorry, Yato. He's, he isn't around anymore. [ it's her answer which cuts her to the quick. far more than his question. ] Here, do you want to watch me make the rice pudding? I can pick you up and when you get bigger, you can make it too.

[For better or worse, whenever she throws a smile his way, he's always quick to grace her with one of his own, like portable sunshine. In between though, he cranes his neck this way and that to check out the house, absorbing every fascinating detail like it's his first time seeing it all. ...because technically it is. Everything is so new. Especially the strange leggy creature in the living room, who he stares at until he's gently led along to the kitchen.

Once there he peers curiously at the more modern stove, grabbing at the edge to try pulling himself up enough to see what Hiyori is doing.]

Yeah--! I want something sweet.

[Always with the sweet tooth. Yet he's quickly distracted by her halting answer. Something's upset her, but once again he doesn't know why or what to do besides squeezing her hand.] A God of Happiness...?

[He... likes the sound of that. Being happy is a pleasant feeling, so a God of Happiness would have to be a really wonderful kind of god. What would one do? Is he a God of Happiness since he makes Father happy (sometimes)? So many more questions...!

But, ah. He can't meet this God of Happiness to ask, huh? Frowning to the point it's almost a pout, he doesn't get a chance to fuss before Hiyori's inviting him to participate in watching her cook. Annoyance forgotten, he nods enthusiastically.]

I wanna watch! Pick me up! [So pushy, just like his old self. Some traits never change, huh.]

[ ...... they have to work on your manners, little yato. please and thank you's go a long way.

hiyori supposes that's up to her to do now. raising her god boyf-- ex-boyfriend while she's here is going to be something she'll need to learn to live with. no matter what it does to her psyche, she can't abandon him to fend for his own.

she huffs but bends down to pick him up, propping him on her hip with an arm around his back. it's awkward at first, as she finds a comfortable way to hold him. he's a lot bigger than that baby she held for yato and yukine while they completed a job of two sleep-deprived parents. sure, she invited him to join her and watch but ]

Remember to say "please" next time, okay?

[ doing things one-handed isn't as bad as she thought. though everything takes twice as long, she doesn't mind. some of hiyori's natural brightness comes back to her in a small trickle. a leaky faucet that's been dry for weeks. tucking some hair behind her ear and adjusting her hold, she pours the rice into the pot and puts the lid on. ]

There. We let that boil until the rice has absorbed all the water. Aaaand, hmm, I need to grab some milk and eggs from the refrigerator--

[ just at their left, she pulls open the door and pauses. ]

Can you grab two eggs for me, please? [ PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!!! they can while she's holding him, too, leaning over so the dozen or so eggs are within his reach. ]

[The trouble with being born a god to a single individual is that one isn't typically taught manners innately. A god's word is law, after all. Who are they to ask for things?

Though he's not about to let her do all the literal heavy lifting here; once up in her arms he holds onto her, helping to balance them both and keep her from having to support him completely. From this angle he actually has a fair idea of what the stove might be despite it looking considerably different from the one he's familiar with.

Turning towards Hiyori, he watches her tuck her hair behind an ear. Then sudden reaches out to seemingly grab at her hair-- only to carefully run his hand over the strands. Sakura taught him to gently pet animals, so it should apply to people, too, right?]

...okay. You have pretty hair. It's so shiny!

[Shinier than most of the peasants and working class people he's cut down. Much more like a noble's, yet shinier still.

Watching her get the rice all set up is familiar to him as well, being something Father does often for them, so he just nods along. Been there, seen that! The fridge though is a totally foreign object, so much so that he shivers as the cold emanates from the open door. But at leat he recognizes eggs! Since he doesn't have to lean any further, he simply grabs one in each of his hands and thrusts them up above his head in a cheer.]

Got it! What's next, Hiyori?

[He finds that he enjoys saying her name. There's just something about the way it rolls off his tongue that feels right and makes him smile, some kind of deep-seated pleasure he takes in forming the syllables. Giggling to himself, he rocks back and forth in her arms.]

Hiyori~ Hiyori~ Hiyoriiii~!

[ ~~because it'S NICE TO ASK YOU LIL SHIT~~

compliments coming from yato always made her blush but when he's a kid and she's holding him in her arms, she smiles automatically. polite. no blush. ]

Ehhh? Thank you.

[ it's as though there's a divide now between yato and this child. while his innocent praise makes her happy, her heart doesn't flutter and skip a beat like it used to. that... nearly makes her cry again, but yato has eggs and hiyori has the milk. mission accomplished. back to the pot, they go. ]

Next, we'll grab some sugar. You hold the measuring cup, I pour!

[ shuffling to another side of the kitchen, where they store sugar in canisters, she slides it across the counter toward her. meanwhile, yato wriggles and repeats her name. familiar, but also not at all. ]

Wh-what is it...?

[~~At least he's a cute lil shit??~~

It's probably a good thing that she doesn't get all flustered from this Yato's praise. Since he probably wouldn't understand why it'd affect her anyway.

Once the eggs are set down where they should be on the counter - after giving one a playful spin and laughing as he watches it go - Yato resumes his hold on Hiyori until he's overcome by the urge to say her name. It's so familiar yet not, like he's said it hundreds of times despite them only having met just a while ago.

Swinging himself forward one last time, he rests his cheek against her shoulder and just smiles at her, content.]

Nothin'. I just wanted to say your name. It's pretty, too.

[Once he's snuggled her a bit, he sits back up and makes a grabbing motion for the measuring cup.]

Measuring cup, please! I wanna help. [Lesson 1: Accomplished!]

[ ~~yeah it's unfair tbh especially when he lays his head on her shoulder and just SMILES AT HER. damn those eyes.~~ ]

You think so?

[ that polite smile warms a little more. then it shifts into a short, airy laugh. he's so handsy, but SHE IS SO PROUD. he said please!! waaaaaa~~ ]

[ ah.

SHAKES HER HEAD.

focus, hiyori. you're not his mother or anything. you're keeping your promise. teaching him all the important things. although what does she do with the notebook? she can't force it upon him, but yato wanted her to tell him everything. he made that clear, as much as she didn't want to hear it. or didn't believe she had to. ]

Good job saying "please". Okay, here you go. [ measuring cup inbound. hiyori passes it over and waits for him to hold it steady before picking up the canister. she can just... barely... hold it one-handed. they should do this the other way. yato pours, she holds.

oh well if they spill it's not a big deal. she can teach him about cleaning up after yourself, next. ]

Hold it still...

[ FOCUS, HIYORI.

she pours. she definitely spills all over the counter. ]

Mmhmm!

[He readily reaffirms his stance on the sounds of her name as he prepares to do the best job helping ever!! So far this has been pretty fun: he gets to be held up high (not as high as with Father, but still), be useful to Hiyori (despite not realizing he's making things harder), and they'll get food out of it!

Plus he gets praise...! His face absolutely lights up when she says 'good job', earning herself a hug around the neck.]

Hehehe...! Okay, I got it. [Clutching the measuring cup with both hands, he does his best to keep it perfectly still. ...it doesn't work perfectly, though. He's shaking with excitement and from just not having as fine motor skills as an adult would.]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[BRAT. But he's still doing as requested to the best of his ability.

Except that's not quite good enough and they end up making a mess. Oops? Laughing, he waits until the measuring cup is full before setting it down. Then he drags his tongue over his hand and-- sticks it smack dab in the middle of the spilled sugar, coating his palm in the stuff. Which he then proceeds to lick off hungrily.]

Yum~!

Wah-!!

[ little arms wrapping around her neck is unexpected but she giggles somewhat and puts her hand on his back to brace him and herself so the abrupt weight throwing itself around her doesn't knock her off balance too badly.

... what would yukine think of all this?

he wouldn't approve of little yato licking SUGAR OFF HIS HAND (or that yeah, yeah). hiyori doesn't approve, either. ]

Yato, hey! [ waste not, want not. dropping the bag of sugar on the counter, she grabs his wrist and pulls it from his mouth before he can get another lick in. ]

You'll get sick if you do that!

[ he's so much like a kid she forgets he doesn't really get sick (except that one time) and he doesn't poop so TRUTHFULLY he can eat what he wants.

mostly it's bad manners. don't have BAD MANNERS. ]

[Yukine would probably think she's doing a fine job all things considered. It's not easy looking after Yato on the best of days, i.e. when he's a full grown adult, let alone when he's a tiny little newborn punk who doesn't know better.

At least the second time he goes in for a lick, Hiyori manages to catch him and prevent any further contamination of hand or sugar. He stops with his tongue sticking out to stare at her with wide, bewildered eyes before his mouth twists into a scowl. A very definite scowl, not just a kiddie pout.

He angy.]

Will not! Gods don't get sick.

[Mostly.

Bad manners are another issue entirely, however. In a huff, he decides to yank his hand back so he can brush it off on her shirt. RUDE MUCH?? He totally did that on purpose...]

Hurry up, I'm hungry.

[Somebody's gonna get smaaaaacked. Okay, probably not since it's Hiyori, but he might deserve it.]

[ who knew that the child god that hid in a closet, clinging to a mini shrine, would actually be a TINY LITTLE NEWBORN PUNK?

while a scowl from a god might scare hiyori, she just frowns back at him with his wrist in her hand. ]

You got-- [ oh. that could have been very bad. she can't tell this yato he got sick and she took care of him, tended him in bed while he sniffled and complained about being hot and sweaty with fever.

as if being sweaty is a new thing.

she has to let go when he yanks it back, though. HER SHIRT?!

it's not a smack but she reaches up and PINCHES HIS CHEEK With HERS ALL PUFFED OUT. ]

Yaaattoooooo... [ you liTTLE SHIT ]

[It's a pretty stark contrast from the mute scaredy cat earlier to pushy punk hanging out in her arms, huh. It's amazing what a bit of confidence will do to a person.

Her stalled words give him at least a moment's pause, with head tilting off to one side as he regards her curiously. He what? What was she going to say?

Eh. Doesn't matter. STILL GONNA WIPE HIS HAND ALL OVER HER NICE SHIRT. Thank goodness it's just sugar and saliva, huh. Germy, but not that messy.

Although still worthy of the punishment he receives, making him yelp loudly and try to swat at her hand squeezing him.]

OW! Leggo, Hiyori, that hurts! [Totally missing the fact that that's the whole damn point.] Okay, okay! Just lemme go--!

[ as much of a PUNK as he is, she'll take him when he's not scared any day. it reminds her of all the antics yato would get up to and leave her severely exasperated.

if his voice wasn't so pitched with youth, it'd sound like yato complaining again. probably about some wrestling move she's put him in. it is the point, though. as nice as it is to hear him repeat her name, she levels at him with a serious and dubious look but lets go of his cheek. her other arm comes around him as she perches him on his hip.

like a mother and her child........ ]

You could learn some manners. Where are they? That's no way to treat someone!

[Little Yato is still Yato, it would seem. Just pint-sized and in some ways even more of a twerp than his full grown self is-- was.

Immediately upon his release he slaps a hand over his cheek and rubs, huffing irritably at her. Just like he used to do all the time after being scolded by either Yukine or Hiyori herself. Though there's an additional steely glint in his eyes that's normally absent from the face she knows and loves.

It's something bordering on... dangerous.

But all he does aside from stare intensely is pout at her. His face is still stinging from the pinch and he's none too happy about it.]

I'ma god. Gods can do no wrong. [Father's teachings. But maybe it's inherent too?]

[ so she is learning.

yet she's oblivious to that glint. that danger. in front of her is a yato with bad manners who is, once again, saying that gods can do no wrong.

it must be inherent. it makes sense. they're gods. all-powerful beings. even yato, minor god as he is, has the power of a war god. now, as a tiny god, he does have some power. that pout. ]

They can! You just did it by being impolite, Yato. [ hiyori also huffs irritably!! at him.

not only that, but they all learned that Heaven can be wrong. why can't gods be, too? ]

Being rude gets you nothing. It's better to be kind. See? [ reaching for his cheek, she rubs it gently with her thumb in apology for pinching it.

even if he DESERVED IT. ]

[And what a weaponized pout it is, too, only growing deeper as her scolding continues. His eyes narrow both out of irritation and confusion. She started it by stopping him from licking the sugar, so--!

So he was still rude for wiping it on her shirt. That much he knows. He knows Sakura would've scolded him, badly, for messing up somebody else's clothes.

Finally, a glimmer of regret shines through his expression as he looks away, still glaring at nothing. He's of two minds right now - that gods are always right since he's a god, and the fact if Sakura might have thought it wrong, then it is. She... she was his shinki, after all.]

Tch. [He clicks his tongue in the exact same way he always does when annoyed, brows furrowing. Yet it's the soft brush of her hand on his face that has him finally looking back at her with clear regret.]

...okay. ...can we eat soon? [Politeness...! Maybe not apology levels, but he's getting there, slowly.]

[ this weaponized pout isn't far off from another pout she's seen more than once. honestly, hiyori's shirt being covered in spit and sugar isn't too big of an issue for her. was it uncivilized? yes.

it doesn't take long for her irk to cool off at that look. any anger she felt toward yato doesn't last anymore. it can't.

that's better. hiyori smiles again. ]

Soon. I promise. [ ... another promise for yato. there are so many. she'll wait, she said. she will. ] Patience is a virtue. I can finish this more quickly if I have both hands so you can play in that room over there or wait at the table.

[ bending down, she sets him back on his two feet. ]

Do you see that in the corner? [ she gestures toward their giant reindeer plush with a finger. ] Her name is Rainy. She's reeeeeaaaally soft.

[Thankfully the mess he made on her should clean up easily with a bit of brushing off and a little soap and water. Nothing too big. It's not like it was the whole pot of food or some kind of syrup, thankfully.

Seeing Hiyori smile at him does something wonderful to his heart, making him warm inside. So much like Sakura. He wants to keep seeing that expression, so he nods at her promise, returning her gentle touch with a cheek pat of his own. One tiny hand no longer enough to cover that side of her face like it used to do.]

Hehe, okay! [Ah-- he's in the way. A pang of guilt strikes him and he nods in agreement, allowing himself to be placed onto the floor again.

Once she points out Rainy, though, his eyes widen in excitement. He's been curious about that since first spotting it when they came through.]

Really? Can I pet her? [Even before getting an answer, he starts off towards the reindeer, eager to feel just how soft she really is. Once alongside her - woooow, she's tall! - he at least he has the sense and decency to pet with his clean hand.] She is...! Super soft!

[Don't mind him, he's just gonna hug those spindly reindeer legs now.]

[ some kind of syrup huh...

there's an ache in her chest as she realizes this: the hand on her face is small and doesn't encompass her cheek in his entire palm like before. regardless, she stubbornly keeps the smile fixed in place. even as he runs off toward the plush.

hopefully, that's enough to keep him occupied for a bit. everything else in their treehouse, too. the hearth along the wall. the drawings hanging about, sketched by yato's own hand. plants and knickknacks decorated here and there. on the couch, there's a diary that she's completely forgotten about while she takes the CORRECt amount of sugar and pours that in.

he's free to roam about. as long as he stays in the house, she's keeping an ear out for that front door.

or a window... ]

Told you!! [ hiyori calls back from the stove, staring at nothing.

reality sinks in slowly. an ooze of truth. yato is gone, her best friend. her partner. her first love. for good. ]

She was a Christmas present last year! My friend that I was talking about? He got her for me.

[Blissfully unaware of how much heartache he's causing her, Yato hops a couple times before managing to get himself perched on Rainy. She's just the right size for him to ride, and from there he can see the whole of the room better. Everything from those precious drawings (really cool!) to the various collectibles and trinkets (neat!) to a small book sitting beside the couch.]

Your friend sure means a lot to you, huh?

[He sits there for a while, rocking back and forth until that gets boring, then hops on down. From there he wanders around the room, poking at various things, picking them up and examining them. There's no familiarity to any of it. It's all brand new to him. Until finally, he comes across Hiyori's diary.

Picking it up, he clambers onto the couch and flips it open while Hiyori keeps talking to him, only half-listening. It's a bit tricky to read with his knowledge of writing being about a thousand years out of date, but he's parsing the various pages slowly. Strangely, his name seems to be on almost every single page.

Why...?]

Y, yeah...

[ more than anybody knows. she regrets not telling him how she felt sooner. instead of lying and pretending and denying it all. from that moment under the umbrella, she should have told him "I love you" instead of "I'll come see you every day. Will that make you feel better?"

although it might as well have been an I love you, too. ]

He does.

[ hiyori whispers, unsure if small newborn yato can even hear it as it's more than a breath. while he's busy poke and prodding and being nosy, hiyori finishes up the rice pudding some time later. he has plenty of time to read those pages, figure out what's written in them, and notice that his name is on every page in some shape or form.

if she had her diary from back home, he could look at that one and see it's just as bad. that yato didn't just mean a lot to her.

he meant everything. ]

We'll need to head to the shops later, I think! You can't wear that yukata the whole time so we'll get some clothes for you to put in that closet. That can be your room, okay, Yato?

[ while stirring the pot of rice, she glances over her shoulder into the main living space to look for the tiny god. he's on the couch, which is fine.

hiyori drops her spoon in horror once she sees what he's doing. ]

W-wait, no!! Yato, don't! [ she rushes over toward him, not realizing she's dropped her body behind her in her mad rush to stop him from reading her diary. a soul cord whips out from behind her. ]

[Perhaps more than anybody knows, but Yato is slowly beginning to understand. Every single page has multiple instances of his name there, ranging from when she found him in a Halloween maze to the Christmas gift list from hell (that took pages just to catalogue) to something about him being blighted...?

Thoughts begin to form in his head, dangerous ones that frighten him. Did... did he die? And then reincarnate? Is that why he's here? But if that's the case, then why does he remember Father and Hiiro? Nothing is making any sense anymore.

So lost in his own thoughts is he that Hiyori's whisper of "he does" goes unnoticed. He can't stop reading, eyes flashing over each line, every page, taking it all in.

Him and her... they... were... in love?

He doesn't even know what that means, aside from having seen humans living together. Husband and wife. Did she want to marry him? Were they going to? He wants to ask, but words have left him.

What she says about his yukata sinks in, slowly. Just as slowly as he looks up once she says his name with such force that he has no choice but to look at her with a wild, bewildered stare.]

Hiyori...

[It's the closest he's come to sounding like himself, although young and confused. And then she drops her body, causing his eyes to widen in shock. Ayakashi.]

YOU'RE NOT SORRY!!!

OKAY ONLY A LITTLE BIT

press ❌ to doubt 🎮

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