songerein | open 🌠 you see the shadows

Entry tags:

open 🌠 you see the shadows

Who: Tifa Lockhart & you!
Which: Open log + interactive dream
Where: Around Reverein, Mount Nibel
What: Mount Nibel Incident dream, and a couple of dream board postings.
Warnings: N/A for now

✨ i. "the day mom died..." — interactive dream

[There's a winding, rocky path overlooking the town of Nibelheim below, but where it should be clear, the mountain the path leads up is shrouded in a fog that only grows thicker with each passing moment, with what the eyes can see morphing and twisting in and out of view, almost as if the entire landscape isn't sure what it should be. There's an unshakable sound of static in the air, and a rumbling underfoot that isn't too threatening, but it's noticeable enough that it makes itself known.

On one ledge of the path up the mountain are four children. Three boys, whose faces fade in and out of clarity, and a girl with long, dark-brown hair, all looking up at the mountain as they talk, but their words are cut out by the static.]

"Mt. Nibel is scary. Many people have—there."

"—one crosses that—alive."

[The girl turns to face them all, revealing a much younger Tifa, not a day older than nine-years.]

"How about—died? Did—pass through—?" [Tifa wanders past the boys watching her, up the path.] "I'm—"

[Two boys follow while one runs the other way, threatening to bump into any dreamwalkers as he rushes back in the direction of the town. If Tifa is followed, they'll reach a bridge that she crosses fearlessly and without a word, but like the rest of the mountain, it fades in and out of view as well. There, the two boys who remain rush off, leaving Tifa to venture up the rest of the mountain alone.

...

But they stop upon seeing someone new. Someone who might be able to help?]

"Please, you have to stop her! It's dangerous up there! We're going to go back down and get Mister Lockhart."

[And off they go together without another word.]

** ( ooc: Because Tifa doesn't remember this event in full, I fully encourage anyone to have your character influence the setting as much or as little as you'd like! )

✨ ii. freeloading reindeer

[Having done some work on the communal gardens already, Tifa's grown handy with a hammer and nails. Not that she wasn't already proficient enough, but there's a difference between fixer-uppers around a bar that she knew like the back of her hand and building wooden flowerbeds and fences, and the latter has allowed her to at least learn some proper techniques in woodworking. Hell, she's even started learning how to sand and polish, so something like this should be a piece of cake.]

There. I think that's the last of it.

[She'd been hauling wood around all morning, the large planks thrown over her shoulder before she sets them down out in the middle of the farm where there's plenty of room to build out. It's nothing but a pile of wood and a bag of tools, and whoever else has come all the way out here with her, and around them, the reindeer will be grazing and curiously watching from afar, still not sure if it's safe to approach.]

So, it was a new stable for them and a fence, right? Gotta say, biggest thing I've ever built was a flowerbed so this'll be new to me.

✨ iii. new year's noctaere

[It is a little terrifying going up against the Noctaere, especially when she knows little of what to expect upon entering the dreamscape, but Tifa was never one to sit back or sit still for very long. Not when there were threats that needed to be taken care of. She might not be the most experienced partner in the dreamscapes, with her skills in dreamotion magic leaving plenty to be desired, but she can pack a punch when needed, and it has come in helpful in a lot of cases.

That isn't to say she's completely useless at magic, but she'd prefer to let her fists and feet do the talking if it came down to it. Which it will.

And just before stumbling into the dreamscape, she looks over to whoever has volunteered for the job with her, and gives a firm nod.]

You ready?

** ( ooc: if you have a preference for the dreamscape, then please let me know in the subject line! Otherwise, I'll randomize which one we end up getting! )

✨ iv. wildcard

[None of these prompts work? You know the wildcard drill! Feel free to leave something else below, or contact me via PM or @ crystariums if you'd like to plot out something! Tifa can be frequently found at the communal gardens, at the edges of the forest training, and just in general wandering around Reverein, so she's easy to bump into. Also okay with any of the dream board postings!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well then, I guess we'll have to add camping to the list.

[Okay, maybe she's teasing just a little bit, but truly, she wouldn't mind tasting his cooking. If it's homemade, and made from the heart, then it's always special. And at least he'd have a pro only a call away if he ever needed cooking advice.

Not that she thinks he would, but it never hurts!

The thought, however, brings a weight back onto her shoulders. It's the one she shed last night that she knew wouldn't go away completely—it would be back, and it would return with a vengeance, but of all the times for it to, it didn't have to be when she was talking about tasting his cooking.

The idea of it just feels so... personal. Domestic.

And that was something that she knew they'd need to talk about eventually.]

Not now, of course. Later...

[She tacks that on quickly at the end, her own face flushing now as she stuffs her mouth with eggs.]

[He watches her, noting her expression as the idea of a "list" has now seemed to formed between them.

Even so, he doesn't find it objectionable.]

Are we sure we could trust a camping trip? Given our luck.

[He's saying it in jest, but. ... ...Kind of serious.]

[He has a point. Their history hasn't been kind to them, and it doesn't seem to be letting up soon. Although, on the brighter side, they've been able to move past this one with ease... so far.]

If we've learned anything from our luck, I think it's that we'd be ready for anything.

[And if they haven't, then they'd be the fools.]

If it makes you feel any better, I'd be happy to do all that here. The dogs seem to like it... having people around.

[She would like to think they all like having her around... and that Eustace does too...]

[There's just a long stretch of silence as he stares at her.]

You really want to taste my cooking?

[His expression is unreadable, but there is a teasing hint in his voice before he takes another forkful of his eggs. He's fairly certain he can't cook them this well.]

[Well... when he asks like that...

Tifa arches her brows through a whole apple slice, and there's a loud CRUNCH that breaks the silence that haunts them next.]

I said I did, didn't I? I could offer you some tips if you want.

[Grinning, there's another crunch from her apple.

For real though... ]

Lesson number one: Start with what you know and build from that. I'll help.

[To be fair, cooking for one another doesn't have to mean anything... But this is between them and apparently everything they do means something. So he just watches her for a moment before there's the smallest of grins.]

Assuming I need your help.

[Them be fighting words.]

[Them's fighting words indeed, and Tifa pretends to be taken aback by them.]

Assuming you do. If you're saying you don't, then I'll set the bar a little higher.

[Be careful what you wish for!]

Next time, I'll get you to make breakfast for me—

[Her gaze drops to her plate, and the eggs that she had been poking at are stuffed into her mouth again, as if trying to shut herself up. Next time what, Tifa? Next time what!?]

Or... dinner.

[There's a small pause when he fully registers the implications of "next time" and "breakfast," his fork hovering right over the remaining eggs.

...

Would it be bad if he admitted that he doesn't object to the idea? That it doesn't bring as much discomfort as they might have thought? ...But it's still early to really say anything to that effect.]

Breakfast, lunch, dinner—I'll take whatever challenge.

[He glances up at her, looking at her briefly before his gaze returns to his plate and he resumes eating. Rather than confirm or deny, he just continues with it, trying to keep it light like a joke...while also carrying his own implications with it.]

Then you're on!

[Her voice has grown quieter but no less enthusiastic through all the eggs, and there's even a ghost of a laugh lined in there somewhere, softening the otherwise harder edge in her eyes when she feels him looking across at her.

Despite all the levity, she knows that there's something else on their minds. She could hear it in the brief pauses and see it reflected back at her when she steals a glance at him. She'd be surprised if the dogs couldn't sense it with the way they whine to fill in that silence, but it could just be that they want a share of the food as well.

There's another beat of quiet that follows, and... it's probably best if one of them bites the bullet, isn't it? Before that weight becomes so unbearable that neither of them can speak.]

Eustace... About what happened...

[Slowly broaching the subject, she leaves that hanging and waits, watches for shifts in his expression.]

... We'll be okay, right?

[His movements slow when she addresses him. He can tell what she's broaching, knows that it's probably time they stopped shying away and dealt with the consequences of what happened. And what they need to do from here.

There's a small, silent pause before he quietly sets down his fork and sits back in his chair so that he can face her properly. Although not stern, his expression doesn't carry the lightheartedness from before, now more serious. He's trying to read her, wondering if he what he's guessed is true or a misunderstanding.

But since she's the one who asked first he can only assume that she doesn't want them to be driven apart. They wouldn't be sitting here, eating and lightly joking around if there wasn't something still there, but... Things could still break.]

...If you want us to be.

[His eyes close briefly before he speaks out what's been on his mind.]

But I think we need to get straight to the issue. There's no doubt we both feel something beyond pure physical attraction to each other—last night proved that.

[It wouldn't be uncommon for two healthy adults to sleep together just for the sake of pleasure, but that's not how he works and he's fairly certain she's the same. As she had asked before, there had been meaning to it, one that wasn't superficial. The problem is how deep is it really and is it worth pursuing?]

But as I said before, I don't think either of us are ready to establish anything yet. If we were, we wouldn't feel this kind of uncertainty between us. [He looks at her for a moment.]

What are you afraid of?

Edited 2022-01-18 18:16 (UTC)

[She holds his gaze, steeling herself for whatever it is he has to say—for the truth, and it hits a little harder than she expected it would, and all because he's right about everything. No matter how closed off she can be sometimes, no matter how deep she buries and hides all of those feelings, he'd opened her up like a book and read every word.

And the surprising thing is... for as much as she fears it, she doesn't hate it.

So, what exactly is she afraid of? Why is there this lingering, nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she can't shake off no matter how many times she tries to lighten the mood, or think about something else, like scrambled eggs or cooking tips? It's been there since she woke up this morning, and it's going to continue to eat away at her until she figures out what it is.

That feeling... That's what she's most afraid of, but putting that into words either of them would understand is proving harder than she anticipated.]

Everything... [she answers with a huff of nervous laughter.] I'm afraid of everything.

[Of taking a step forward or back. Of opening herself up or closing herself off. Of being with him and without him.]

I wish I could just... stay still for a while.

[He's silent as he considers her words before nodding slightly.]

I feel the same. Ever since we got here we haven't really been able to process anything we've been thrown into. [He definitely hasn't had the peace and quiet he yearns for.

He then looks at her.]

...Truthfully...it's because of that that I'm hesitant as well.

[He puts it into words so easily. They really haven't had time to process anything since coming here... and Tifa, who still bore some memories of him from a previous world which—without a doubt—have influenced her in some ways here hasn't been given the chance to sit back and look at things from a broader perspective. From one where they aren't stuck in boxes or as dogs or enchanted by magical slugs.

This would mark the second time they've met where something didn't go completely wrong, if she's counting right? And even then, neither time was without its dilemmas, and they're having to face all of it now.]

I guess it has been a pretty crazy few months, hasn't it?

[It's such an understatement that she has to laugh about it.]

Maybe that's what we need. Some time to process everything... Make sure we know what all this is?

[Just a small hum of affirmation.]

I believe so. However...

...

[His voice trails as he second guesses how much he should say right now. There are things he knows for certain. That none of this is meaningless and if he had to make a choice he knows which he would make. However, whether it's the right choice in this moment...that's what makes him hesitate.

The question of "are they ready" is one that's going to loom over their heads for a while.]

...No, nevermind.

[Tifa sets her fork down.]

No...? What is it?

[If they're going to get through this and come out on the other side on normal terms, then they need to at least be honest with one another... says her, the one who can hardly be honest with herself right now, but... this is a good start.

She at least wants to hear what he thinks and has to say.]

[...

He looks at her for a moment, pondering how much he wants to say or even should say. So it takes him a little while before there's a small exhale and he finally speaks.]

...I think it's safe to say that regardless of how it came to be, what we think and feel for each other is genuine. Nothing so far has been meaningless. [Including last night.] I don't normally do things halfway to begin with, so once I make a decision I stick with it.

[Another pause before he continues.]

However, as I mentioned, neither of us are ready for our own reasons. For me, although I'm not against them I've never been in a relationship nor ever planned to have one. It's mostly been for practical reasons, but for the longest time I was not emotionally in a place where it could happen.

I feel the same is for you... [He looks at her for a moment before he lowers his gaze.] ...But because we're from different worlds, I might be an additional complication.

[Hell this is all complicated, but when he can pretty much guess that Tifa has someone else she has feelings for, it just makes it even worse. So he's not going to directly bring it up since that's up to her, but he's acknowledging the giant cloud shaped elephant in the room.]

Edited 2022-01-19 03:25 (UTC)

[She can sense that giant Cloud-shaped elephant in the room, looming over her like it always has. He wouldn't be wrong to think it—it wouldn't be her most well-kept secret, but when he says it like that... That he would be another complication tacked onto the rest, it makes her stomach sink. It was exactly what she was afraid of, were she to ever force herself to move on. Cloud wasn't here, so why should it even matter?

It does. It matters a lot, but that didn't mean that she didn't think she felt something towards him... Or else she would have said no to all of this.]

Yeah, probably...

[She isn't going to deny it outright, so Tifa quietly agrees with a nod of her head, and she picks up a piece of fruit to eat but pushes her plate away. She's suddenly not feeling hungry anymore.]

That's why I think we should just press pause, you know? Figure all this out, and if it's... something we both actually want. Or can do.

[Figure out how much of her own feelings are genuine, and how much of them are just her missing Cloud, and trying to fill that hole that he's left.]

[He remains silent, knowing that that's how she'd answer...but somehow dissatisfied by it. But he just mentally shakes it off, thinking that this may be a good thing for him. It means he has more of a reason to put a hold on what he feels and keep it from spreading further.]

...Then I suppose there's nothing more to be said. But. [Another small pause before he taps the table.]

Should something change—should the person you're waiting for appear in this world before we make a decision, then forget about me.

[She tries to keep her expression even and steady, but there's a twinge of disbelief when he says it out loud. Tifa was never going to get her hopes up of Cloud ever coming here, and even if he did, who's to say it would be the one she knew? The one in Camelot left her feeling lonely and made her question everything she thought she'd figured out about him, and to have to go through that again here? If she had the choice, Tifa would rather wait until she returned home to Gaia.

But why does that hurt so much coming from Eustace? Was that the answer they were both looking for from having this conversation? She doesn't think she wants to forget about him. Not after everything they've had to go through together.]

And if he doesn't...?

[Tifa can only hold her breath on something for so long before she runs out of air.]

[His gaze never left hers, and at her question there's something that simmers beneath his cool, blue eyes, an emotion that he's been trying to keep from growing and keep it to himself.]

...Then I'll make you forget about him.

[He said it before. Once he makes a decision, he commits. And at least at this point, he knows he's attracted to her enough to actually have this conversation. All that's left is to ensure this is the right thing and not an impulsive decision.

However, if he were to make an impulsive decision, the look he's giving her hints that he'd make good on his word right now.]

[It's almost as if he commands her attention with that look, and her tiny sliver of resolve crackles underneath it. Her eyes say everything the rest of her can't say: that if she could, she would forget. Never permanently, but sometimes, that loneliness can become too much that it hurts, and forgetting—even for a little while—seemed like the only thing that would fix it. She did, for a night, along with all of the other things that troubled her...

...

And Eustace was true to his word before he had even said them.

After several moments of her staring unblinkingly and bewildered across the table at him, Tifa catches the breath that had lodged itself in her throat, and she pushes back from the table. It's the only way she'll be able to step back from this before her own restraints come undone, and if they're going to be careful about this, then she needs to make sure that they don't.]

I, um... I can get started on cleaning up.

[She hasn't even finished her food!]

[He only watches her, seeing her expression changes and blanks. He can tell his words had an effect on her, his message carried with little to no misunderstanding. He doesn't know much else what she's thinking beyond that, but he does feel a little bit of satisfaction by it.

So he just remains silent, not saying anything accept for a quiet sound of agreement as he just holds out his plate to her before he stands to take care of the dogs.]

[This is a whole other different kind of awkward... It's nothing like what they had to go through when they came out of the box, or after the cave. Whatever it was then that hung between them, it's so much more palpable and real now. It's been acknowledged and accepted, but when they try to turn away from it, it rears its ugly head.

Tifa comes around the table to fetch his plate and, feeling her fingers graze over his, it sends a jolt through her, like he's just tapped into his magic again when she remembers his words, and the way he said them, and how he looked at her—]

Oh my—what!?

[Whatever food is left on his plate suddenly bursts into flames. It's a good thing he was holding it out to her because he might have incinerated his face along with the leftover crumbs of bacon, and she has to throw it under the tap in the sink to put it out. It wouldn't be the first time that she's had to deal with sudden fires while cooking, but certainly the first time where finished food burned like that... The flames are snuffed out quickly enough, and the smoke clears even quicker, but she stands there at the sink, mortified, at the charcoaled plate.

What in the world just happened...]

[He's also caught in surprise by the literal jolt he feels that runs from where her fingertips brushed against his skin and up his arm. He can hear the crackling and buzz around his ears as he stares first at the fire wide eyed and then to Tifa's quickly retreating back as she rushes to put it out before he snaps back to attention and follows after her.]

Are you all right?

[Yeah sure the food burned but the plate could have become heated and hurt her hands or maybe even the jolt he felt carried over or something else.]

Yeah... I'm fine.

[No burns, at least. She wrings her hands, shaking off the static and the water that she's splashed across herself in the commotion. She was more worried about the fire spreading, and considering that they're in a tree... That wouldn't have ended well for anyone.]

That's never happened before...

[Was that her!? Or whatever it was that snapped in the air between them in that moment? At any rate, she isn't sure she wants to know what that was, so she doesn't ask.

As for the plate... Tifa lifts it from the sink to show off its blackened surface, and the charred food falls from it.]

Sorry. Couldn't save it in time.

open 🌠 you see the shadows

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