[The tombstone itself is like so many others, its warning cryptic while the dreamer in question lies in repose.
"Do Not Disturb. Monsters come in all shapes and sizes."
The dreamscape beyond lacks any of the bright color or joyous chaos of the festivities left behind. It's bleak, gray, as though all the color and life has been drawn out of this place— a village surrounded by steep cliffs, dwellings and walkways suspended high above the ground across a seemingly bottomless ravine. The sky is beyond overcast, and rain has begun to fall, though that doesn't seem to bother the pale figure seated at the very center at one of the suspended platforms, her knees drawn up to her chest as she hugs them to herself.
Voices begin to echo, ringing out with no discernible source, and yet they seem to be everywhere.
"Get out! Nobody wants you here!"
"You're a freak. Why are you pretending to be normal? We all know the truth!"
"Maybe you're not cursed. Maybe your parents just couldn't stand to be around you anymore and offed themselves, ever think of that?"
In the middle of it all, Kainé screws her eyes shut and hugs her knees just a little bit tighter.]
[After seeing one—and one too many—nightmare so far, Tifa is sure of her decision to keep herself busy with the tombstones and dreams of others. If she keeps her mind busy, then maybe she won't spiral into one herself. She isn't ready to face whatever might be waiting for her on the other side, but she was never one to turn away from helping others face theirs, fearful or not.
Her gut makes an easy turn when she sees the owner of this tombstone. She'd only really met Kaine once, minus the occasional passing in town, but she quickly became someone that Tifa would consider a friend, and someone that she would like to know more about. Nightmares aren't her first choice in doing that, but if she needs help, then she's willing to give it.
Tifa appears in the nightmare not far from where Kaine's perched, and she takes a moment to take in the sights... and sounds. The gray skies and the rain don't bother her, but the cruel things that she hears do. Even if this isn't her nightmare, it's still hurtful to hear that this is what Kaine thinks of herself, or of other people around her...
Slowly, she comes up next to her, catching her just as she hugs herself tight, and a gentle hand finds her shoulder, just barely a brush so as not to startle her.]
[Beneath Tifa's touch, Kainé's muscles pull tight, her shoulders suddenly rigid. She doesn't look up, her chin practically tucked against her chest as she remains drawn in on herself.
She hates this place. She hates it. Some part of her had hoped that current circumstances meant she wouldn't have to see it again— but it could always return in dreams, couldn't it?
You can never really leave home, even when they don't want you there.]
... I should be.
[Her voice is barely above a whisper, the rest of her unmoving.]
I deserve it. I deserve to be alone.
[There's a clatter somewhere to their left— a stone skitters across the planks of the platform. The voices begin again, only now there are figures to accompany them— no less than four, scattered around the edges of the platform and facing inward from all angles. When the voices start up again, they're clearer than they were before, and each and every one of them sounds like it belongs to a child.
"You won't be happy until everyone here is dead, will you?"
"Leave our mommies and daddies alone! Just because you don't have yours anymore, that doesn't mean you have to put ours in danger!"
"My dad said they're gonna run you out of the village. What if we saved the grown-ups the trouble? Just jump and do us all a favor!"
Her grip tightens until it goes white-knuckled, and she looks up to meet the gaze of one of the childlike figures as it becomes more solid.]
You say this shit to a little girl, and you all call me a monster?
[There's only so much Tifa can do to mask her unease for Kaine's sake, even less so when a figure appears before them, the voice manifesting into what appears to be a child. Still, even as Kaine recoils under her touch, her hand doesn't budge, and it only tightens at her shoulder to at least remind her that there's still someone here... Someone who isn't shouting these obscene things at her.
Swallowing past whatever lump of fear that's grown in her throat, Tifa steps forward, putting herself in between Kaine and the figure as she shakes off that sense of dread that turns the pit of her stomach.]
This is just a dream.
[It's hard to tell whether she's speaking to the figure, to Kaine, or reminding herself. All three, perhaps?]
Whatever you say here has nothing to do with her.
[This time, she is speaking to the child, her stance turning on the defensive. Will talking to these voices even help? Who knows.]
[Tifa's voice does draw her gaze upwards, just long enough for Kainé to recognize her as a friendly face. It grants her a moment of lucidity— Tifa wasn't supposed to be here. She'd never been to Kainé's hometown, never heard the things that were shouted and jeered so frequently that Kainé heard them echoing in her own head even when she was alone. It was incessant, unending. Monster, freak, cursed.]
Tifa...
[The edge of her voice is hoarse, but before she can say anything more, the figure Tifa had addressed steps forward, becoming clearer. A husky, broad-shouldered boy of about eleven, another rock forming in his hand as though it had been drawn out of thin air.
"It's not a dream, though, is it?"
Kainé says nothing for a moment, but her chin drops.]
... it's a memory.
[Or a scene composed of hundreds of such memories, thousands, so numerous that they had all begun to bleed together, an everlasting reminder of how hateful people could be. How cruel they were, and how fearful of what they didn't understand.
"That's right. And you remember what happens next, don't you?"]
[Stepping more firmly into place in front of Kaine, Tifa continues to stare down the boy, as if daring him to come closer. Meanwhile, a hand reaches back to grab one of Kaine's, lacing her fingers beneath to hold it in hers.]
That's all dreams are, yeah? Just memories.
[She's had her fair share of nightmares too, and every single one of them was some twisted version of her worst memories and worst fears coming together. This is all these are—just cruel retellings of everyone's worst moments.]
Bet I wasn't here in whatever memory you're from.
[Whatever is going to happen next, Tifa wasn't there to fight it the last time, was she?]
[The touch itself is startling— how many people ever reached out to her willingly? Before she'd met Nier and Emil, she couldn't think of any. Not since her grandmother. Weiss may have counted, too, if only he'd had hands.
For a long moment, she stares at where their hands are now entwined, speechless. Before them, the boy moves forward, raising the hand with the rock in it— he takes that dare, stepping forward, and the other figures surrounding them begin to do the same. It's a slow creep, steady movement, and each figure becomes more defined in the process— children, every single one of them.
"You're new, but adults never care. They all hate her, too. So should you."
It's then that Kainé summons forth the strength to get to her feet, and while every instinct in her tells her to pull away, she forces herself to ignore them, to allow her hand to remain in Tifa's. Maybe she needs that— the courage it offers.]
Don't you asshole kids ever get tired of the sound of your own voices? Fuck off. I'm bigger than all of you now.
[Maybe if she defies them loudly enough, she'll remember the truth of it. She still dreamed about these days far too often, the days when she had been too small and too timid to protect herself— but she's not anymore. She's all grown up, and she's strong.]
Throwing rocks? That the best you can do? Little shits ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
[She gives Tifa a sidelong glance, her body language tense.]
Think they can get away with anything, just because the adults all look the other way.
["They all knew, you know. They just didn't care! It would have been doing everyone in town a favor, if we actually killed you."]
[Tifa would be lying if she said she wasn't a little scared of the way they all move towards them. Shadowy children taking shape, their voices echoing in her head as if this were her own dream... but she holds her ground, shifting on her feet and digging her heels more firmly on the ground.
Quietly, she utters to Kaine.]
Well then, they were terrible adults.
[Had she been the victim of all this merciless bullying by kids? This can only be a glimpse into her childhood, or that's the impression Tifa's getting from this all, and it makes her sick to her stomach. So sick that there's a small shake between their feet that may or may not knock these kids a little off balance? Tifa, meanwhile, holds Kaine's hand a little tighter when she feels it to keep them both anchored in place.]
I'm not above hitting a dream kid when I have to, you know.
[Nightmares. That's all they are. They aren't real. It's just a dream.]
[Normally, Kainé is quick to look to violence as a solution— it's simple, it makes sense to her, and dream or otherwise, it would be so easy to reach for her sword with her free hand and make a show of it, to menace these nightmare children and yell at the top of her lungs until she's convinced everyone involved that she's not afraid.
Instead, she shakes her head, her brow furrowed as she looks to Tifa beside her, letting that tightened grip remain. It's a comfort to the both of them, an anchor, a reminder that there's a little bit of warmth hidden away here despite the biting cold wind that blows through the ravine beneath the Aerie.]
If we hit them... then we're no better. It makes us as bad as they are.
[Her voice is halting; it's not an admission she wants to make, and she's never been good at turning the other cheek. When she'd been small, she would let them come, let them do whatever they wanted— once her grandmother intervened, the kids had started to keep their distance, but she wasn't here to step in and save the day now.
Even so, Kainé knows she's not alone, the dream becoming more lucid, and her lips pull into a thin line bordering on a frown.]
I've had this dream before, or dreams like it. They always end the same way, but I think this time is different.
[Tifa had made that point herself not so long ago.]
Never had a friend here before.
[It's a difficult word to say, "friend," but it comes a bit easier in the context of a dream, speaking with her heart rather than her lips.]
[Tifa's gaze hasn't left the child approaching, the rock still in his hands, and her still daring him to come a little closer. She does wonder what he plans to do with it, if not throw it, and why he hasn't just gone through with it already. It's infuriating, this waiting game.
She only breaks away when Kaine speaks, a smile pulling at her own lips to contest Kaine's frown. A friend, huh? Good to know, and although their circumstances leave a lot to be desired for such an admission, it's still one that lights a fire in her—one that gives her just one more reason to want to protect her and get her the hell out of this nightmare.]
So, how do they usually end?
[Tifa at least wants to know what to expect, or not. It's hard, yes, but she still has no idea what she's working with.]
[There does seem to be more waiting than usual. Kainé has to wonder if it's because of her own resistance, if a willingness to stand up to this amalgamation of childhood memories is enough to keep it from playing out in a more familiar way.
Tifa's question is a good one, and it takes a moment for her to answer. Thankfully, the progress of the children surrounding them seems to have halted entirely— each and every one of them is still, almost eerily so, unnatural.]
It's different every time. Sometimes bludgeoning. Sometimes heading towards the bottom of the ravine. Back then, I just— took it.
[Clearly, given that she was alive and reasonably well now, it had never gone that far in her youth, but near enough, and certainly not for lack of trying.]
Or sometimes— I become what they say I am. But that won't happen this time. I refuse.
[The boy laughs again, but the voice that comes out isn't his own. Instead it's deep, rasped; a voice on the edge of mania that sends a shiver down her spine for how harsh and invasive it manages to be.
"Aw, Sunshine! We talked about what happens when you refuse! C'mon, Kainé, they always thought you were a monster— now that you really are one, wouldn't it feel good to give them a taste of what you can really do? Their blood on the ground instead of yours, ahahaha!"]
[Bludgeoning? The bottom of the ravine? This isn't bullying, this is straight up abuse. And the adults had just let it happen, without batting an eyelash? What kind of place did Kaine grow up in that she had to deal with this?
The thought itself, and the anger that rises with it, is cut short by the raspy voice coming from what she thought was a child, but now she's not so sure. It startles her, wrenching her back to this reality. No, not reality, she needs to keep reminding herself. Dreamscape. Nightmare.
Her fingers laced between Kaine's tighten, and it's all she can do to keep that rage of hers in check, and to keep the ground underneath them from falling through. If she gives into that anger, then she can't be strong for Kaine, or herself, and that'll make it harder for either of them to pull themselves out without a scratch.]
[For the first time since they got here, Kainé sounds confident— more like herself, or the way she'd presented herself to Tifa upon their first meeting in Reverein. The tightening of Tifa's grip keeps her grounded, and while normally every instinct in her would push her to pull away, to keep others at arm's length—
She wants to trust Tifa. The other woman had shown her kindness on more than one occasion now, and she never forgets kindness.
She exhales, clenching her teeth as she looks towards the figure that had spoken.]
I know that voice, and it's not any memory. He won't attack us— he's way too much of a goddamn coward, and he can't do anything for himself.
[The figure of the boy across from them goes limp and collapses, and the other children surrounding them do the same, removing themselves as a threat. The voice comes again, disembodied this time, still harsh and grating like ragged nails on a chalkboard.
"That's not very nice. We're buddies, ain't we? I've been inside you all this time, but lately, you've been givin' me the cold shoulder, Sunshine. Worried about these new friends of yours learning what you really are?"
There's a long pause as Kainé's lips pull into a tight frown, and she looks to Tifa beside her, studying her face for a long moment before shaking her head.]
... no. I used to be. I don't think that's true anymore.
[She's been accepted before. It's enough to give her hope that it could happen again.]
[Tifa's expression doesn't change much after the children collapse back into nothing, her own rage boiling under her skin and burning through her eyes while they flick around, searching for the owner of the new voice. She's half expecting something to leap out at them, fangs or claws bared, so she remains alert, prepared to allow her instincts to kick in at a moment's notice.
Gritting her teeth, Tifa shouts back.]
You think everyone else here's perfect? That no one else has got things to hide, or things they're afraid of?
[Things they've done that haunt them? She sure as hell isn't perfect, and she's sure that there are plenty of others here with their own demons. If this is what Kaine thinks too, then Tifa hopes that she can get that message across. No matter how much kindness she can give, there are still things that she, too, is too afraid to face sometimes.]
[Tifa has guts. Without pause, she says the things that Kainé had once only wished she could say for herself— it was hard, when she'd always believed the worst of herself. It had been easier to agree with that voice in her head, grating as it was, to swallow down her desire to protest and build a wall around herself, instead.
She was a monster. She had loathed herself for years, what she'd allowed herself to become— but time had changed things, just a little. She'd met someone who had accepted her for who she was. Forgiven her.
Now, looking at Tifa, it's entirely possible that she's met one more.]
We all have secrets.
[It's a soft but firm agreement, and she grits her teeth as she nods in Tifa's direction. They all have things they're not proud of, whether it's part of who they are or something they've done— but she knows it's not just her.
Looking back, it really never had been. She'd only let other people convince her that it was.
For a moment, there's no response. The air around them is still, the only sound the wind whipping through the ravine, and she frowns.]
... he's gone quiet. A little too quiet, if you ask me.
[Doesn't seem right. Still, in the meantime, she pauses, looking to her companion with caution in her gaze, questioning.]
[Tifa responds with a smile, as warm and reassuring as she can manage through her uneasiness. She means it, and it sound a lot more genuine if it weren't for the fact that the world has gone completely still, and she fears that if she so much as breathes again, she'll disturb it and it will mean bad things for them.
She finally lets her fingers slip out from Kaine's as she takes a few steps forward, her eyes still searching for the voice, or any sign of movement. What about those children that had disappeared? Where did they go? There's something disturbing about how silent everything is, but maybe this is their opportunity...
Tifa moves back to Kaine, her voice a low whisper.]
[She's never been good at taking compliments. Even here, in what is unquestionably a dream, there's a very faint tinge of color that rises into her cheeks for the briefest of moment before she manages to collect herself and ignore that momentary tightness in her chest. She wills away the urge to let herself feel flustered, offering Tifa a faint smile instead.]
Don't hear that very often.
[She keeps her own voice low, their hands dropping away from one another as she takes a few steps forward on the platform, turning to follow its natural curve so that she can take a good look at their surroundings and the walkways extending from it.
Many of the details of this particular nightmare were a bit blurred, made up of bits and pieces of different memories, but the raised platforms and suspended walkways of the Aerie are exactly the way they remember them.
Maybe their best chance of waking up is just to walk out. She exhales, turning towards a suspension bridge that looks like it leads into a tunnel just beyond where it connects to the cliff, and she gestures for Tifa to follow as she starts towards it with long strides.]
This way. If it's anything like the real world, it'll lead us away from this shithole. I used to live on the other end of that tunnel.
[Tifa's reluctance about the bridge only becomes clearer once they reach it. She isn't afraid of heights, but she feels like she should be afraid of them when they're about to cross a bridge in the middle of a nightmare. She isn't sure how much she's able to twist this world, but she's hesitant to find out...
Biting her bottom lip, Tifa grabs hold of Kaine's hand again.]
You're sure about this?
[She trusts the other woman implicitly, but she doesn't trust this bridge. And if they are supposed to cross it to leave this place, then she wants to do everything that she can to make sure that Kaine, as well as this world her mind has created, is grounded.]
[Which is to say not entirely, but what other choice do they have? It takes her by surprise, Tifa grasping her hand again, but after a moment, Kainé tightens her own grip. What was it Emil always said? 'We can do anything, as long as we're together?'
Maybe the same thing applies here.]
Heading the other way is just more walkways leading deeper into the Aerie— we won't find anything in that pit.
[It's clear she has no love for the place. She starts forward, giving Tifa's hand a tug to lead her along. As they step onto the bridge, a cluster of bats scatters from the mouth of the tunnel and into the harsh light of day.]
... if we want out, then it has to be this way. Freedom is this way.
[Although Tifa's confidence wavers a bit when she steps foot onto the bridge, her grip on Kaine's hand never does. It tightens in return with equal resolve as she lets the other woman lead the way, stopping only when she's startled by the bats that flap out of the cave, shielding herself on instinct as though they pose any sort of threat to them. She focuses on their hands, and on Kaine in front of her, and ahead on their destination, trying not to think about where they are.
It has to be this way...
Tifa will put her trust in her that this is their way out, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel that small pang of doubt in the back of her mind, and that she wasn't tempted to turn around and find another way to wake them both up.]
Right. Freedom.
[She echoes the sentiment with resolve, more for herself.
[She glances back over her shoulder partway through leading Tifa onto the bridge, her pale brows knit together in question. It was hard to overlook that hesitance, and while in most cases, Kainé would be quick to tell someone to get over themselves and move their asses, she finds herself inclined to be a little gentler with the other woman, grateful for how patient Tifa has been with her up to this point.]
I'm guessing you're not a fan of heights.
[Yeah, the Aerie would be a trip for anyone who wasn't particular fond of them.]
Just don't look down. We'll be across in no time.
[She gives Tifa's hand a single tug to lead her further, and as she turns back towards the tunnel ahead, there's a faint glimmer of something in the dark— two red pinpricks of light that make Kainé press her lips into a thin, hard line.]
... just keep going, and stay behind me when we get on the other side.
[It's the fact that they're so high up in a nightmare on a bridge that only seems to get more unstable with each step they make across it. Or maybe it's her imagination playing tricks on her, which... may or may not be better. How much can someone else's fears impact another's dreams...?
But feeling Kaine's hand give hers that tug, so gentle despite their current situation, it grounds Tifa again, and sets fire to her courage again. She really does need to get over herself and pull herself up by her bootstraps—she needs to be brave for Kaine, so that they can make it out of here together.
Of course, all of that goes straight over the edge of the bridge to plummet into the emptiness below when she sees the red lights in the shadows of the tunnel, and Tifa's expression almost completely mirrors Kaine's as she looks on ahead, her fingers giving an unconscious squeeze.
...
Looks like they might not be completely out of the woods yet, and rather than heed Kaine's instructions, she'll step up beside her as soon as they reach the other side.]
[It's not what she expects, having Tifa move to her side so readily, but at this point, maybe she should have. Tifa hasn't shown any sign of wanting to run or hide, to do anything but face the unknown head-on, and apparently, this is no different. Kainé's initial thought is to insist she stay back, but she stops herself. Tifa is a grown-ass woman who can do what she wants— and Kainé herself is grateful to have her support in this moment.
The bridge does seem to sway more than it ought to beneath their weight, but they manage to cross it without incident, and even Kainé is glad to leave the threatening creaks and groans of wooden planks behind when they make it to solid ground. Even the looming threat ahead can't take that from her— but even before that harsh, gravelly voice from before speaks to them again, she knows exactly who whose eyes belong to.
What emerges from the shadows is little more than a shadow itself, a shifting, ill-defined figure that only barely manages to stand out again the darkness, its face blank and expressionless, with no features to speak of beyond those red pinpricks.
"Been a long, long time since we've seen each other like this, Sunshine. You know, you've been ignoring me since we got to this dream place! Took you fallin' asleep and coming back home for me to finally get your attention. I gotta say, I'm hurt! Aren't we friends, Kainé?"
The girl in question grits her teeth; anger makes her want to lurch forward and attack, but she knows that can't be the answer here. Not this time.]
You have no power here, asshole. Don't tell me this guest spot is because you're fucking bored, Tyrann.
[The Shade laughs, a raw and grinding sound before it shifts its attention to the dark-haired woman beside her. If it had a face to leer at Tifa, it certainly would be now.
"I'm what's inside of her, sweetheart. You still wanna hold her hand, knowing that? I hear and see everything."]
[As unsettling a sight as this is, Tifa stands her ground against it, her own teeth grinding together, jaw clenching as she stares it down, as if it had eyes to bear over with her own. This seems to be a constant thing in these dreams—beings or voices that question her presence, even when this isn't her own nightmare, and if there's anything she's growing tired of, it's that.
If she didn't want to be here, then she wouldn't have come in the first place.]
Yeah?
[She finally shouts back, her voice as sharp as her gaze.]
Not everything, if that's your first impression of me.
[If it truly did see and hear everything, then it would know that she isn't going to leave Kaine's side, and she tells the other woman as much with yet another squeeze of their hands.]
["Oh, she's got a mouth on her, doesn't she? Not as trashy as yours, but she's got guts. I like that. Means she might actually try to stick it out before she realizes she can't fuckin' stand you, like everyone else!"
Kainé closes her eyes for a moment, steeling herself. All he wants is to get under her skin, just like always, and she hates that it's working. He's bored and lonely, lashing out for lack of anything better to do— she doesn't even consider that he might be part of the nightmare. If she's having a dream, after all, then he has to be having it, too.]
Are you fucking finished?
[She lifts her chin to stare at him, defiant. There's a shift of his muddied features, brief and flickering, incomparable to anything a human might express, but he shrugs his near-shapeless shoulders in the moments that follow.
"Maybe. For now."
He turns his attention back to Tifa— it would seem she has his interest.
"As for you, sweetheart? I'm gonna let you two out of here, do whatever it is you need to wake up, but I'm hopin' we get to talk to one another again real soon. I don't think there's anything I could say that could tell you you're makin' a big mistake with this one— but shit, you'll find out for yourself, and that'll be a goddamn riot!"
Kainé moves forward to shove her way past him, one hand still tightly clasping Tifa's, but even as she makes contact, he dissipates— only black smoke remains where he had been standing, and within seconds, that too clears away.]
... let's just get the fuck out of here. He's just being an ass.
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➝ tifa | nightmare graves
"Do Not Disturb.
Monsters come in all shapes and sizes."
The dreamscape beyond lacks any of the bright color or joyous chaos of the festivities left behind. It's bleak, gray, as though all the color and life has been drawn out of this place— a village surrounded by steep cliffs, dwellings and walkways suspended high above the ground across a seemingly bottomless ravine. The sky is beyond overcast, and rain has begun to fall, though that doesn't seem to bother the pale figure seated at the very center at one of the suspended platforms, her knees drawn up to her chest as she hugs them to herself.
Voices begin to echo, ringing out with no discernible source, and yet they seem to be everywhere.
"Get out! Nobody wants you here!"
"You're a freak. Why are you pretending to be normal? We all know the truth!"
"Maybe you're not cursed. Maybe your parents just couldn't stand to be around you anymore and offed themselves, ever think of that?"
In the middle of it all, Kainé screws her eyes shut and hugs her knees just a little bit tighter.]
Shut up. Shut up!
no subject
Her gut makes an easy turn when she sees the owner of this tombstone. She'd only really met Kaine once, minus the occasional passing in town, but she quickly became someone that Tifa would consider a friend, and someone that she would like to know more about. Nightmares aren't her first choice in doing that, but if she needs help, then she's willing to give it.
Tifa appears in the nightmare not far from where Kaine's perched, and she takes a moment to take in the sights... and sounds. The gray skies and the rain don't bother her, but the cruel things that she hears do. Even if this isn't her nightmare, it's still hurtful to hear that this is what Kaine thinks of herself, or of other people around her...
Slowly, she comes up next to her, catching her just as she hugs herself tight, and a gentle hand finds her shoulder, just barely a brush so as not to startle her.]
Hey. It's okay. You're not alone.
no subject
She hates this place. She hates it. Some part of her had hoped that current circumstances meant she wouldn't have to see it again— but it could always return in dreams, couldn't it?
You can never really leave home, even when they don't want you there.]
... I should be.
[Her voice is barely above a whisper, the rest of her unmoving.]
I deserve it. I deserve to be alone.
[There's a clatter somewhere to their left— a stone skitters across the planks of the platform. The voices begin again, only now there are figures to accompany them— no less than four, scattered around the edges of the platform and facing inward from all angles. When the voices start up again, they're clearer than they were before, and each and every one of them sounds like it belongs to a child.
"You won't be happy until everyone here is dead, will you?"
"Leave our mommies and daddies alone! Just because you don't have yours anymore, that doesn't mean you have to put ours in danger!"
"My dad said they're gonna run you out of the village. What if we saved the grown-ups the trouble? Just jump and do us all a favor!"
Her grip tightens until it goes white-knuckled, and she looks up to meet the gaze of one of the childlike figures as it becomes more solid.]
You say this shit to a little girl, and you all call me a monster?
no subject
[There's only so much Tifa can do to mask her unease for Kaine's sake, even less so when a figure appears before them, the voice manifesting into what appears to be a child. Still, even as Kaine recoils under her touch, her hand doesn't budge, and it only tightens at her shoulder to at least remind her that there's still someone here... Someone who isn't shouting these obscene things at her.
Swallowing past whatever lump of fear that's grown in her throat, Tifa steps forward, putting herself in between Kaine and the figure as she shakes off that sense of dread that turns the pit of her stomach.]
This is just a dream.
[It's hard to tell whether she's speaking to the figure, to Kaine, or reminding herself. All three, perhaps?]
Whatever you say here has nothing to do with her.
[This time, she is speaking to the child, her stance turning on the defensive. Will talking to these voices even help? Who knows.]
no subject
Tifa...
[The edge of her voice is hoarse, but before she can say anything more, the figure Tifa had addressed steps forward, becoming clearer. A husky, broad-shouldered boy of about eleven, another rock forming in his hand as though it had been drawn out of thin air.
"It's not a dream, though, is it?"
Kainé says nothing for a moment, but her chin drops.]
... it's a memory.
[Or a scene composed of hundreds of such memories, thousands, so numerous that they had all begun to bleed together, an everlasting reminder of how hateful people could be. How cruel they were, and how fearful of what they didn't understand.
"That's right. And you remember what happens next, don't you?"]
no subject
That's all dreams are, yeah? Just memories.
[She's had her fair share of nightmares too, and every single one of them was some twisted version of her worst memories and worst fears coming together. This is all these are—just cruel retellings of everyone's worst moments.]
Bet I wasn't here in whatever memory you're from.
[Whatever is going to happen next, Tifa wasn't there to fight it the last time, was she?]
cw: more talk of child violence, bullying
For a long moment, she stares at where their hands are now entwined, speechless. Before them, the boy moves forward, raising the hand with the rock in it— he takes that dare, stepping forward, and the other figures surrounding them begin to do the same. It's a slow creep, steady movement, and each figure becomes more defined in the process— children, every single one of them.
"You're new, but adults never care. They all hate her, too. So should you."
It's then that Kainé summons forth the strength to get to her feet, and while every instinct in her tells her to pull away, she forces herself to ignore them, to allow her hand to remain in Tifa's. Maybe she needs that— the courage it offers.]
Don't you asshole kids ever get tired of the sound of your own voices? Fuck off. I'm bigger than all of you now.
[Maybe if she defies them loudly enough, she'll remember the truth of it. She still dreamed about these days far too often, the days when she had been too small and too timid to protect herself— but she's not anymore. She's all grown up, and she's strong.]
Throwing rocks? That the best you can do? Little shits ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
[She gives Tifa a sidelong glance, her body language tense.]
Think they can get away with anything, just because the adults all look the other way.
["They all knew, you know. They just didn't care! It would have been doing everyone in town a favor, if we actually killed you."]
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Quietly, she utters to Kaine.]
Well then, they were terrible adults.
[Had she been the victim of all this merciless bullying by kids? This can only be a glimpse into her childhood, or that's the impression Tifa's getting from this all, and it makes her sick to her stomach. So sick that there's a small shake between their feet that may or may not knock these kids a little off balance? Tifa, meanwhile, holds Kaine's hand a little tighter when she feels it to keep them both anchored in place.]
I'm not above hitting a dream kid when I have to, you know.
[Nightmares. That's all they are. They aren't real. It's just a dream.]
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Instead, she shakes her head, her brow furrowed as she looks to Tifa beside her, letting that tightened grip remain. It's a comfort to the both of them, an anchor, a reminder that there's a little bit of warmth hidden away here despite the biting cold wind that blows through the ravine beneath the Aerie.]
If we hit them... then we're no better. It makes us as bad as they are.
[Her voice is halting; it's not an admission she wants to make, and she's never been good at turning the other cheek. When she'd been small, she would let them come, let them do whatever they wanted— once her grandmother intervened, the kids had started to keep their distance, but she wasn't here to step in and save the day now.
Even so, Kainé knows she's not alone, the dream becoming more lucid, and her lips pull into a thin line bordering on a frown.]
I've had this dream before, or dreams like it. They always end the same way, but I think this time is different.
[Tifa had made that point herself not so long ago.]
Never had a friend here before.
[It's a difficult word to say, "friend," but it comes a bit easier in the context of a dream, speaking with her heart rather than her lips.]
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She only breaks away when Kaine speaks, a smile pulling at her own lips to contest Kaine's frown. A friend, huh? Good to know, and although their circumstances leave a lot to be desired for such an admission, it's still one that lights a fire in her—one that gives her just one more reason to want to protect her and get her the hell out of this nightmare.]
So, how do they usually end?
[Tifa at least wants to know what to expect, or not. It's hard, yes, but she still has no idea what she's working with.]
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Tifa's question is a good one, and it takes a moment for her to answer. Thankfully, the progress of the children surrounding them seems to have halted entirely— each and every one of them is still, almost eerily so, unnatural.]
It's different every time. Sometimes bludgeoning. Sometimes heading towards the bottom of the ravine. Back then, I just— took it.
[Clearly, given that she was alive and reasonably well now, it had never gone that far in her youth, but near enough, and certainly not for lack of trying.]
Or sometimes— I become what they say I am. But that won't happen this time. I refuse.
[The boy laughs again, but the voice that comes out isn't his own. Instead it's deep, rasped; a voice on the edge of mania that sends a shiver down her spine for how harsh and invasive it manages to be.
"Aw, Sunshine! We talked about what happens when you refuse! C'mon, Kainé, they always thought you were a monster— now that you really are one, wouldn't it feel good to give them a taste of what you can really do? Their blood on the ground instead of yours, ahahaha!"]
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The thought itself, and the anger that rises with it, is cut short by the raspy voice coming from what she thought was a child, but now she's not so sure. It startles her, wrenching her back to this reality. No, not reality, she needs to keep reminding herself. Dreamscape. Nightmare.
Her fingers laced between Kaine's tighten, and it's all she can do to keep that rage of hers in check, and to keep the ground underneath them from falling through. If she gives into that anger, then she can't be strong for Kaine, or herself, and that'll make it harder for either of them to pull themselves out without a scratch.]
The only monsters here are you.
[Tifa's voice grows unusually cold.]
You think you're all that, then come and get us.
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[For the first time since they got here, Kainé sounds confident— more like herself, or the way she'd presented herself to Tifa upon their first meeting in Reverein. The tightening of Tifa's grip keeps her grounded, and while normally every instinct in her would push her to pull away, to keep others at arm's length—
She wants to trust Tifa. The other woman had shown her kindness on more than one occasion now, and she never forgets kindness.
She exhales, clenching her teeth as she looks towards the figure that had spoken.]
I know that voice, and it's not any memory. He won't attack us— he's way too much of a goddamn coward, and he can't do anything for himself.
[The figure of the boy across from them goes limp and collapses, and the other children surrounding them do the same, removing themselves as a threat. The voice comes again, disembodied this time, still harsh and grating like ragged nails on a chalkboard.
"That's not very nice. We're buddies, ain't we? I've been inside you all this time, but lately, you've been givin' me the cold shoulder, Sunshine. Worried about these new friends of yours learning what you really are?"
There's a long pause as Kainé's lips pull into a tight frown, and she looks to Tifa beside her, studying her face for a long moment before shaking her head.]
... no. I used to be. I don't think that's true anymore.
[She's been accepted before. It's enough to give her hope that it could happen again.]
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Gritting her teeth, Tifa shouts back.]
You think everyone else here's perfect? That no one else has got things to hide, or things they're afraid of?
[Things they've done that haunt them? She sure as hell isn't perfect, and she's sure that there are plenty of others here with their own demons. If this is what Kaine thinks too, then Tifa hopes that she can get that message across. No matter how much kindness she can give, there are still things that she, too, is too afraid to face sometimes.]
I've got news for you.
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She was a monster. She had loathed herself for years, what she'd allowed herself to become— but time had changed things, just a little. She'd met someone who had accepted her for who she was. Forgiven her.
Now, looking at Tifa, it's entirely possible that she's met one more.]
We all have secrets.
[It's a soft but firm agreement, and she grits her teeth as she nods in Tifa's direction. They all have things they're not proud of, whether it's part of who they are or something they've done— but she knows it's not just her.
Looking back, it really never had been. She'd only let other people convince her that it was.
For a moment, there's no response. The air around them is still, the only sound the wind whipping through the ravine, and she frowns.]
... he's gone quiet. A little too quiet, if you ask me.
[Doesn't seem right. Still, in the meantime, she pauses, looking to her companion with caution in her gaze, questioning.]
You have a good heart.
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[Tifa responds with a smile, as warm and reassuring as she can manage through her uneasiness. She means it, and it sound a lot more genuine if it weren't for the fact that the world has gone completely still, and she fears that if she so much as breathes again, she'll disturb it and it will mean bad things for them.
She finally lets her fingers slip out from Kaine's as she takes a few steps forward, her eyes still searching for the voice, or any sign of movement. What about those children that had disappeared? Where did they go? There's something disturbing about how silent everything is, but maybe this is their opportunity...
Tifa moves back to Kaine, her voice a low whisper.]
There a way out?
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Don't hear that very often.
[She keeps her own voice low, their hands dropping away from one another as she takes a few steps forward on the platform, turning to follow its natural curve so that she can take a good look at their surroundings and the walkways extending from it.
Many of the details of this particular nightmare were a bit blurred, made up of bits and pieces of different memories, but the raised platforms and suspended walkways of the Aerie are exactly the way they remember them.
Maybe their best chance of waking up is just to walk out. She exhales, turning towards a suspension bridge that looks like it leads into a tunnel just beyond where it connects to the cliff, and she gestures for Tifa to follow as she starts towards it with long strides.]
This way. If it's anything like the real world, it'll lead us away from this shithole. I used to live on the other end of that tunnel.
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Biting her bottom lip, Tifa grabs hold of Kaine's hand again.]
You're sure about this?
[She trusts the other woman implicitly, but she doesn't trust this bridge. And if they are supposed to cross it to leave this place, then she wants to do everything that she can to make sure that Kaine, as well as this world her mind has created, is grounded.]
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[Which is to say not entirely, but what other choice do they have? It takes her by surprise, Tifa grasping her hand again, but after a moment, Kainé tightens her own grip. What was it Emil always said? 'We can do anything, as long as we're together?'
Maybe the same thing applies here.]
Heading the other way is just more walkways leading deeper into the Aerie— we won't find anything in that pit.
[It's clear she has no love for the place. She starts forward, giving Tifa's hand a tug to lead her along. As they step onto the bridge, a cluster of bats scatters from the mouth of the tunnel and into the harsh light of day.]
... if we want out, then it has to be this way. Freedom is this way.
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It has to be this way...
Tifa will put her trust in her that this is their way out, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel that small pang of doubt in the back of her mind, and that she wasn't tempted to turn around and find another way to wake them both up.]
Right. Freedom.
[She echoes the sentiment with resolve, more for herself.
But will they make it across in one piece?]
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I'm guessing you're not a fan of heights.
[Yeah, the Aerie would be a trip for anyone who wasn't particular fond of them.]
Just don't look down. We'll be across in no time.
[She gives Tifa's hand a single tug to lead her further, and as she turns back towards the tunnel ahead, there's a faint glimmer of something in the dark— two red pinpricks of light that make Kainé press her lips into a thin, hard line.]
... just keep going, and stay behind me when we get on the other side.
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[It's the fact that they're so high up in a nightmare on a bridge that only seems to get more unstable with each step they make across it. Or maybe it's her imagination playing tricks on her, which... may or may not be better. How much can someone else's fears impact another's dreams...?
But feeling Kaine's hand give hers that tug, so gentle despite their current situation, it grounds Tifa again, and sets fire to her courage again. She really does need to get over herself and pull herself up by her bootstraps—she needs to be brave for Kaine, so that they can make it out of here together.
Of course, all of that goes straight over the edge of the bridge to plummet into the emptiness below when she sees the red lights in the shadows of the tunnel, and Tifa's expression almost completely mirrors Kaine's as she looks on ahead, her fingers giving an unconscious squeeze.
...
Looks like they might not be completely out of the woods yet, and rather than heed Kaine's instructions, she'll step up beside her as soon as they reach the other side.]
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The bridge does seem to sway more than it ought to beneath their weight, but they manage to cross it without incident, and even Kainé is glad to leave the threatening creaks and groans of wooden planks behind when they make it to solid ground. Even the looming threat ahead can't take that from her— but even before that harsh, gravelly voice from before speaks to them again, she knows exactly who whose eyes belong to.
What emerges from the shadows is little more than a shadow itself, a shifting, ill-defined figure that only barely manages to stand out again the darkness, its face blank and expressionless, with no features to speak of beyond those red pinpricks.
"Been a long, long time since we've seen each other like this, Sunshine. You know, you've been ignoring me since we got to this dream place! Took you fallin' asleep and coming back home for me to finally get your attention. I gotta say, I'm hurt! Aren't we friends, Kainé?"
The girl in question grits her teeth; anger makes her want to lurch forward and attack, but she knows that can't be the answer here. Not this time.]
You have no power here, asshole. Don't tell me this guest spot is because you're fucking bored, Tyrann.
[The Shade laughs, a raw and grinding sound before it shifts its attention to the dark-haired woman beside her. If it had a face to leer at Tifa, it certainly would be now.
"I'm what's inside of her, sweetheart. You still wanna hold her hand, knowing that? I hear and see everything."]
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If she didn't want to be here, then she wouldn't have come in the first place.]
Yeah?
[She finally shouts back, her voice as sharp as her gaze.]
Not everything, if that's your first impression of me.
[If it truly did see and hear everything, then it would know that she isn't going to leave Kaine's side, and she tells the other woman as much with yet another squeeze of their hands.]
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Kainé closes her eyes for a moment, steeling herself. All he wants is to get under her skin, just like always, and she hates that it's working. He's bored and lonely, lashing out for lack of anything better to do— she doesn't even consider that he might be part of the nightmare. If she's having a dream, after all, then he has to be having it, too.]
Are you fucking finished?
[She lifts her chin to stare at him, defiant. There's a shift of his muddied features, brief and flickering, incomparable to anything a human might express, but he shrugs his near-shapeless shoulders in the moments that follow.
"Maybe. For now."
He turns his attention back to Tifa— it would seem she has his interest.
"As for you, sweetheart? I'm gonna let you two out of here, do whatever it is you need to wake up, but I'm hopin' we get to talk to one another again real soon. I don't think there's anything I could say that could tell you you're makin' a big mistake with this one— but shit, you'll find out for yourself, and that'll be a goddamn riot!"
Kainé moves forward to shove her way past him, one hand still tightly clasping Tifa's, but even as she makes contact, he dissipates— only black smoke remains where he had been standing, and within seconds, that too clears away.]
... let's just get the fuck out of here. He's just being an ass.
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