songerein | [07] move along, move along just to make it through

Entry tags:

[07] move along, move along just to make it through

Who: Susato and anyone
Which: Open catch-all log for September + network option
Where: The Wild Harvest garden, but open to other locations.
What: Yujin Mikotoba has left Songerein.
Warnings: Will add if needed.

🌸 A. an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Sender: Susato Mikotoba
To: Everyone
Subject: Reverein's clinic

[ It's short, and to the point. Susato doesn't use the journal often to broadcast like this, but now that she is, she feels it prudent to be as direct as possible. ]

To whom it may concern: For the past couple weeks, the Reverein communal clinic has been without a proper doctor to run it. If you are in need of aid, please be patient, as the volunteers are doing the very best they can. If you have medical experience and would like to help, please let me know. Thank you. Regards, Susato Mikotoba

🌸 B. move along, move along, like i know you do.

[ Within the garden of the Wild Harvest, among the faint hissing of snakes and the lull of the waterfalls, Susato closes her journal and tucks away her pen. She takes a deep breath as she moves to stand from her favorite bench, and she walks with purpose into an area littered with stars that look like stepping stones upon the ground.

For a moment, she stops and simply stares. There it is. A blank star, waiting for a name. Perhaps it appeared some time ago. Perhaps she simply ignored it, but after digesting recent events, she has no time to wallow in the remaining stages of grief. He's not even dead, but she wonders if that doesn't make things worse.

Either way, she doesn't even need a pen. She slowly bends down, spending another moment feeling the rough surface of the starfish with her hand before she commits with her pointer finger.

The strokes appear in a glow, and the end result looks engraved. ]

御琴羽悠仁

🌸 C. wild card.

[ If neither of these fit! ]

(( ooc: Feel free to write your own prompt/starter, or if you'd like me to write a personalized starter for you, hit me up at

yammdere or via PM!

Side note: I would love to incorporate Quest #902. Hug it out if you hit prompt B. uwu ))

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[ Susato takes a few moments to respond. As she stares at Yujin's name etched into the star-shaped stone, some of the same feelings start to well up within her, the ones from many years ago when he first left for London. She'd been so young; it'd been easy to forget, and eventually Yujin faded out of her life completely.

For him to do so again after giving her a taste of what they had missed... it was something most cruel. Quite angering, really. This obligation she feels to be happy for him makes it even worse. There's a subtle clench of her fist as she hears her name, and she turns to find someone who blends in quite well with the garden's greenery. ]

Trahearne. It... It is so good to see you.

[ Damn. She's usually better at small talk than this. Does he even want to talk about it? ]

Have you been recovering well?

[ Oh well. ]

[ There's no rush. Trahearne knows things have been...rough, in a general sense, so he doesn't mind or worry when she doesn't respond right away.

But her question is met with a small, wry smile. ]

I was about to ask you the very same.

[ Taking the question as an invitation, he takes a couple of steps forward. He seems generally fine, unharmed. Neutral, even--like he was when they first met on the beach. But there is a tenseness about him that serves as the only hint that something may be off. ]

Well enough. It hasn't been easy, but checking up on all involved has brought me peace of mind. And that's all I could ask for.

[ A pause as a small smile crosses his face. ]

I hope you're doing all right.

[ The tenseness won't really alarm Susato. It would probably be more alarming if she wasn't at least a little uncomfortable following the whole ordeal. For the most part, however, she is just glad they were able to make it home with everyone alive. He would probably notice the color of her skin appearing a little more alive and human, as opposed to the icy blue it was before. Her kimono is dry, clean and no longer torn up in places.

In all, far more presentable. Perhaps the scars she sustained were more mental than anything. ]

Yes... it is as you say. It is not easy, but we all must move forward. To get past this.

Or... risk being left behind. [ Not that it would be obvious to Trahearne, but that last part, at least, is not directed at anything regarding Tifa nor Eustace. ]

[ She does look better, but Trahearne is no expert on the nuances of the human complexion. To see her cleaned up and safe, here, where she belongs, is good enough.

He studies her for a moment, not exactly sure what she means by that. The hue of concern colors his face as he does. ]

We will eventually move on, and perhaps it would not be most healthy to stew on our regrets and what-ifs.

[ He tilts his head. ] But it's all right to sit and process what happened. It was a harrowing experience. I think we've all walked away from that incident slightly changed.

[ Maybe she would tell Trahearne exactly what she means. She is nothing if not direct, and by now, she's probably penned a letter to her father telling him exactly what she thinks. On the other, maybe she'd rather not burden him with this...

She seems conflicted, but in the end, talking about it might help Trahearne, too. ]

Have you had nightmares as well? [ Not sure how else to even begin, she decides to just go with that. On that note--sitting--she spots a bench nearby. Gesturing to Trahearne to follow, she decides to make her way there and take a seat. ]

[ Trahearne is here to take her burdens, but he's no mind reader. Otherwise he would absolutely encourage her to share...

Instead, she's asking him to share. He's a little thankful that, as she makes her way to the bench and he walks behind her, his face is out of view for the moment (or so he hopes). His eyes wander aim skyward as he feels the sting of a gold flush on his face. But this isn't a happy thing. He really isn't close enough with Susato to share this, but he can skirt around it. ]

I have been having unusually intense dreams, yes. [ By the time he catches up and is seating himself on the bench, he's regained composure. He glances at her, expression neutral. ] Some among them nightmares.

[ Honestly, he's relieved on the nights he has nightmares.

... ]

And it sounds as though you're suffering through some as well.

[ Susato does turn back to look at Trahearne, catching sight of the gold flickering upon his face. She doesn't know what it is. Is it merely a blush? Some symptom of a sylvarian disease? By the time they sit, it is gone, and Susato feels as though it is too late to ask.

She does sigh, though, feeling an odd sense of relief to hear that she is not the only one. ]

. . . Some. [ It wouldn't be fair to ask him to share without first doing so herself. ] There's a part of me that keeps reliving it. I wake up beneath the lake again, frozen, unable to move.

And I can hear his footsteps walking away from me.

[ Trahearne only watches her speak, the concern growing on his face as he watches.

Being the first to fall in the fight, he didn't have the privilege of seeing how the others were taken out. Even after coming to, he had still been so groggy, so in pain, so bewildered by everything that he scarcely had the mental capacity to absorb what he'd been seeing. Knowing Susato had been trapped under the ice causes his brows to rise. He understands the nightmares. He can scarcely imagine the horror. ]

...Eustace's?

[ He whispers his name, as though worried saying his name too loud might cause him to turn again. ]

[ His name still makes her wince. She had considered him a friend before all this, and she still thinks of him as such, but now there's a part of her that is terrified of him. After all that, however, perhaps this wasn't about him at all. ]

No, my...

[ She hesitates, swallowing air. ]

My father.

[ Ah.

The timing of all this is really unfortunate, isn't it? For Eustace to turn and put them through such a harrowing experience so soon after Susato's father leaves...

He honestly can't imagine how tough all of this must have been for her, and he feels terrible that he doesn't know her better to offer her more appropriate comfort. ]

I'm so sorry, Susato. [ He frowns a bit. ] If you'd like to talk about it, I'm ready to listen.

[ Susato tenses up, like perhaps she's just realized she let slip too much. It's not as though she means to burden Trahearne with any of this, but she is not interested in keeping him out, either.

She bites her lip in hesitation. ]

I'm not sure there is much to say. He was here for many months, and now... Now he is not.

Should I be grateful that he was not here to see me in such a state...? [ That night... ]

[ Trahearne sort of wishes he knew what to say--he wishes he knew Susato better, he wishes he knew what it was like to have a father, or what a parent-child relationship is supposed to be like for humans.

The pain of losing someone important, however, is universal. Especially when it's sudden, without warning.

Trahearne settles into his seat and studies her briefly, amber gaze perhaps more intense than he intends as he thinks of what to say. ]

I don't know. [ As much as he hates to admit it, he doesn't. And so, he'll have to be honest. ] I think it's in a caretaker's nature to care and worry for those in their charge, so perhaps he would have worried for you, regardless of your state.

[ He falls silent again in thought. ]

Should you be grateful? Are you relieved not to have caused him unnecessary worry? Or something else?

[ She can feel Trahearne's gaze. It is intense with worry, and she finds it difficult to meet his eyes. Though he had been the one to offer an ear, she still feels guilty once she sees his reaction.

It's not fair. ]

I don't know either. Relieved is certainly not the word I would use.

But I miss him, Trahearne. I miss him, but I'm terribly angry at him. Does anyone ever make you feel that way...?

[ Something else, then.

Adjectives, synonyms roll through his mind as he tries to find the proper word for Susato's situation, trying to understand how she feels, but all the words scatter when she asks him her question.

His gaze drops before turning to look out over the garden. It's peaceful--idyllic, even. He's grateful for the sun, how it seems to numb the anguish of it all. ]

...Perhaps so. [ He flips through his memory and settles on old hurt. ] A sister of mine did irrevocable damage to our people. She was horrible, and hurt other siblings dearer to me. Yet I pitied her. My recollection of her end is hazy, but she did not deserve what became of her. [ She did more harm in the end, he thinks, but he knows that was not of her doing. ] And at the end of the day, she was still my sister.

[ He turns to look at her again, the look on his face pensive. ] I cannot say it's the same as you feel, but...I can understand.

Edited (ＲＥＡＤＩＮＧ　ＣＯＭＰＲＥＨＥＮＳＩＯＮ) 2022-09-16 11:43 (UTC)

[ A sister... Trahearne did mention siblings. They never really got a chance to talk about it, so she has no idea just how many he has, but there is a familiar haze about the way he speaks about her, about this one. Her expression softens, looking almost apologetic. ]

I see. I believe you.

[ She does believe that he understands. Her voice is sincere. ]

I am sorry for what happened to your sister. I don't mean to pry...

[ She trails off there as she takes more time to allow his story to sink in. In the end, she doesn't think she pities her father. ]

No, it's all right. I would not have shared if I did not want to.

[ He turns his attention back to Susato and gives her a small, reassuring smile. ]

And don't be. [ For a moment, he opens his mouth to say that Faolain doesn't deserve it, but he stops himself. That isn't his decision to make. ] These situations are complicated, especially so when it comes to a family member, even more so in a place like this, but they still happen.

[ Trahearne places a hand on the bench between them in a comforting gesture. He doesn't feel he knows her well enough to actually touch her. ] I think it's okay to both miss him and be angry with him.

[ The gesture does not go unnoticed. Susato's gaze falls on his hand between them almost immediately, wondering if that was intentional, or if perhaps she imagined it. She doesn't know him well enough to know, but she always has been sharp and intuitive when it comes to reading others. Sensing a connection, she slowly inches her hand towards his.

And then she'll place it on top. ]

...Thank you.

[ She doesn't know what else to say. There's a twitch of her hand, like she wants to squeeze his, but in the end, her bravery falls just short of that. ]

For being here. [ For checking on her. ] May we both get the peace of mind we seek and rest easier tonight.

[ When Susato places her hand on his, Trahearne's head dips a bit as he smiles. He hadn't been sure how she was going to take it--he's never sure how these things go--so for her to establish where exactly they stand here is a good thing.

And it brings them closer, too, he thinks. ]

I hope for restful nights and peaceful dreams for both of us. [ He turns his attention to her. ~~It's time to let her know she's adopted.~~ ]

Know, Susato, that if there is anything I can ever do for you, don't hesitate to let me know. I will do my best to be of assistance. And... [ Gently, he withdraws his hand to lay it on his lap. ] ...even if I cannot help with something in particular, I hope you have someone close to you that you can go to for help.

[ It's his one way of ~~finding out everyone's emergency contacts~~ making sure everyone has a network of people they can always fall back on. ]

[ Can't believe Susato has become an honorary ~~tree~~ sylvari. She sees no need to reach after his hand once it's withdrawn, but the feeling of his touch does linger on her skin. Rough, yet somehow delicate. She rests her hand there between them, where Trahearne's once was. ]

I will also do my best to be someone you can rely on in the future.

[ And of course, she will hope the same for him. That he has the support he so deserves. ]

Even if your dear siblings aren't here with you, I find that there are others who may fill the gap quite nicely indeed.

[ Perhaps it is the same in the case of her father. While none could ever replace him... she can't help but think of Soldier 76. ]

[ He only nods slightly in response to Susato's reassurance. This whole ordeal--the aftermath, in fact--has been almost disorienting in how insistent the others have been in offering their support to him. It's unusual, something he never really experienced at home. He did have the support of many people, yes, but that was all obligatory, simply because he sat at the top. But nothing like this. This has been so...personal.

He still appreciates it, though. And as he's said to so many others so far, he'll do his best to accept it.

But to her second point, he doesn't respond right away. Being Firstborn Trahearne is an experience wholly impossible to replicate due to the way sylvari are, but maybe that's a good thing. That's a burden he can set aside for now, at least until the day another one appears.

That doesn't stop him from fussing over some as though they are sylvari, though. ]

...You know, there are a few I have come to treat as my own siblings. [ Flashes of a few faces pass through his mind. He chuckles a bit. ] Sometimes I forget Ori is not actually a secondborn sylvari.

[ She seems to be the right age to be secondborn, too. It's weird. ]

I hope you don't mind if I treat you as the same.

[ Because he's starting to think of her--and Beat, by extension--as younger siblings. ]

[ For a moment, Susato just stares at him, wondering what her words may have called to mind. She is far from suggesting that his siblings are replaceable, but he doesn't seem to be taking it that way. Perhaps it is not so surprising when he speaks. By now she has seen how him and Ori get on quite well together.

She doesn't know if she really fits, but he is essentially telling him that she does. For once, she should just believe that. ]

If you truly see me that way... then it is an honour. Of course I couldn't possibly mind.

Things are different here than at home, as I'm sure it has been for you. But it seems we have found our place.

[ Considering every single sylvari to exist is his younger sibling...they kind of are replaceable. There are so many whose names he doesn't know, people he doesn't know even exist. In another life, Susato could very well be among those he didn't know personally, and it would be the same.

As she mentions home, he nods. His eyes drift out over the garden, taking in the sounds and the smells. ]

I think we have. We all bring parts of our selves and our homes with us when we awaken here, and we use our pasts to carve out new places for ourselves. And some people happen to slot in beside us.

[ Some people he's formed close bonds with. Some have become passing acquaintances, and some people he's met later have settled in as though they've belonged there forever.

He looks back to Susato. ]

We're lucky.

[ As Trahearne's gaze wanders outward, she wonders if he realizes that what he sees is a part of that: the place she has carved for herself. Trahearne looks quite at home there himself, too.

She has to laugh at that word "lucky." He is not wrong, but she can't help but feel they have earned their place, too. ]

I agree.

[ A comfortable silence falls between then. Should he stare at any spot in the greenery long enough, Trahearne may finally catch sight of one of the many snakes living in the garden; though even if he doesn't, he'll certainly hear them.

By now, Susato is used to it, so there's no reaction from her at all when she speaks up again. ]

If you'd like to stay for a little longer, I can bring you something to eat. Although... I suppose I don't know your tastes. [ She hasn't seen him anything but fireworks cookies... which may or may not have given him the best impression of this place. ]

[ Trahearne is never the type content to sit in silence. While he may seem comfortable, serenely staring out over the greenery, his thoughts are racing. He thinks of his home, of his mother, of the land in which he spent most of his life. Are these things he's brought with him, left in places of which he was none the wiser? Could someone stumble upon his signs of life and think, A sylvari has been here?

Questions about himself and nonexistent Tyrians vanish from his mind when Susato asks him a question, and he brightens. ]

That's very generous of you, Susato. I would like that. [ He hasn't really eaten a substantial meal in...a while. It's hard to get a hold of one when bed-bound.

A sheepish look immediately crosses his face, like he's afraid of asking for too much, or imposing. ] You wouldn't have any of that spicy curry left over, would you? That was quite good.

[ He's a monster with ruined tastebuds. ]

[07] move along, move along just to make it through

:)

at long last,

worth the wait :3

hehe :3

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🎀