flamekthunder: (ϟ 066)
Eustace ([personal profile] flamekthunder) wrote in [community profile] songerein2022-09-10 08:32 pm

twelfth shot ⊗ semi-closed ⊗ recovery

Who: Eustace, Tifa, and anyone who wants to check in on them
Which: Semi-closed log (backdated/set for early September before upcoming events)
Where: Set locations
What: It's been a rough few days/weeks since Eustace turned noctaere back at the end of August, but he and Tifa have been recovering. They've been mostly keeping to themselves as they work through things, but they've eventually come out a little more often, if often found together. But there are times Eustace can be found on his own should anyone want to meet with him for a little bit. Note: Although this is mostly a consolidated post for people involved in the plot to check in on Eustace and Tifa, the first prompt is open for anyone who wants to meet Eustace for whatever reason!
Warnings: References to the trauma experienced in threads with those who were involved, but otherwise shouldn't be too much.

⊗ a: open - eustace
[It took...a lot longer than he would have liked, but by the time he finally feels ready and comfortable in leaving Tifa alone (be it with the other dogs or other friends), he's at least more like his usual self. It's still difficult to shake some of those fears that linger, but as much as he'd rather just stay home and keep themselves, they have to move forward.

So Eustace can be found sometimes out in town, usually with a white wolf or a corgi at his side. Often times it's for a grocery or some kind of errand run, but he'll sometimes look at the board. He doesn't quite have time or the will to go out just yet, but it doesn't hurt to keep tabs on what's going on, like noticing the decorations for the upcoming Faire or noting the new faces that have arrived.

And then on some days... Eustace can be found in the Bark 'N Play dog park with a few other dogs, but there's one he's particularly focused on.]


...Come here, Bri...

[He's kneeling on the grass, a hand with her favorite flower cookie treats held out to her. But the poor darling just whines. It's clear she wants to go to him, but she instead shy and runs away, leaving Eustace to sigh and run a hand through his hair.]

...Dammit.

[Ignore the small rain clouds rolling in.]


⊗ b. closed - eustifa visits
[For those seeking out the couple, one place they could be found is their home. It's not that well known as neither really ever invited people to it, but for anyone searching for them, they could get a little help by any of the dogs to lead them to it. Their tree has taken some hits after the first few nights, their once luscious branches looking a bit weathered and less full. Streaks of black and a hint of frost still linger on the wood in the deepest, darkest shadows, but overall the tree is flourishing. There are fresh new star flowers blooming along the ground and along a few branches, and other flowers are more vibrant than others.

And to confirm their location, their names are on a plaque by the door. A small black cat may also be outside, hopping down from her perch to greet anyone who comes by. A simple knock will be enough to send a bunch of dogs barking that would alert anyone of their presence. Seriously, who needs a doorbell when you have dogs?

If by some chance there is no response at the house, not even a bark, then it means the family has gone out. There are a few options for that: a general walk around the neighborhood, the Bark 'N Play dog park, and the Corgi Tree. One just has to listen to the barking to find them.]
roseofmay: (pic#14941454)

B - Let me have this. Post Noctstace. Post Dream. You know the drill.

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-11 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[This is not the first time Beatrix has paid visit. The first time was months before after she had fallen into slumber, simply so she could drop off gifts. It had been a decisively happier time, though considerably less important than she thinks the present is.

It feels like her footsteps are heavy. She's had a lot of time to think about everything that happened in relatively quick succession. And what exactly has brought her here now. The days that proceed shave down her oft serrated edges and in the same way she's paid visits to the others, she comes sans sword, sans armour. A very simplified woman as she tries to figure out precisely who and what she is in the broad spectrum of what she's seen and experienced firsthand. Even her curls, she suspects, are not as tight as they normally would be.

After a moment's consideration, wondering if this is really the right thing to do, she decides to go with it and at the door, she knocks, paying little mind to the black little feline who utters a cat-like greeting before dashing off to do as she will. And she settles her hands to the small of her back as she patiently waits for the couple of the hour to arrive.]
starshower: (temp 280)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-11 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
[Even a week later, it's been hard to return some semblance of normalcy to their lives. With Tifa taking time off from the Harvest and Eustace spending more time at home with her, it's been days and days of working through the nightmares, the guilt, and the sadness together. It's draining both emotionally and physically, so when Beatrix comes by, the two of them are fast asleep on the couch. It isn't so unusual for them in the early afternoons when they're together but today, the sleep has hit them particularly hard.

It's not the knock but the dogs that stir Tifa awake, and Beatrix will hear several of them scurrying to and barking at the door for a while as she tries to gently nudge Eustace next to her awake.

It'll be a while before Tifa's sleepy voice comes from the other side of the door as the barking dies down.]


Okay... everyone back up and sit down, please...

[There's the click of the door as it slowly opens, and Tifa peeks her head out, and when she sees Beatrix there, she makes a small noise of surprise, and the door closes slightly. She should have expected that their friends would come around to check on them sooner or later, but... her hair is a mess...!

Never mind that she's been an anxious mess about seeing any one of them since they left Ori's house, and has been making a concerted effort to avoid it until now.]


Oh. Beatrix...

[Her voice is small, but she greets her with a lopsided, nervous smile before she opens the door.]

H-How are... [No, she should probably wait to ask how she's doing when she's not left standing outside, so Tifa steps aside, and glances back to the couch to check that Eustace has awakened.] ... Do you wanna come in?
Edited 2022-09-11 04:51 (UTC)
roseofmay: (pic#15504851)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-11 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[It's difficult to tell from a look how Tifa's doing. Without a doubt, Beatrix is studying her in the way that she always has, in the way that she likely always will. That analytical, scrutinising way that she does when she's looking for answers to questions she hasn't actually asked. She thought she looked incredibly casual, all things considered.

Tifa certainly has her beat in that department.

Lifting a hand, she begins to sweep her hair back behind her shoulder and she pauses for just the hint of a moment when Eustace pops in behind her. She looks betwixt the two of them for a breath or two. It's good that they're together, but she's come to expect that at this point. It's where they belong after all that's been said and done. More so now, probably than it ever was before. Hardship brings people together sometimes.

Unless it crushes them outright.

Makes her wonder where she stands with Dohalim. As the two of them ever do.

Politely, she clears her throat and pointedly moves her gaze onto Tifa, focused very intently on her face. She doesn't care about the fact that she's in pyjamas or that Eustace is shirtless, or that their hair is a bit all over the place. None of that really matters.]


I do not wish to intrude. I only wanted to check on you both and see how you were doing. If perhaps you needed me to run any errands for you.
starshower: (temp 256)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-11 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's probably a good thing that Beatrix sought them out. Tifa had been wondering herself how the others have been holding up but was too nervous to reach out and ask, only because she continues to place the blame entirely on herself for everything that happened.

For Beatrix specifically, she'd been nervous, too, about facing her after what had transpired between her and Eustace. How badly Tifa wished to stop both of them from harming each other but was ultimately left helpless to do it... Nervous because the scar across his chest was a difficult thing for both of them to face when they returned home...

But Tifa knew she would have to face them all eventually. It was just a matter of when and how...

She shakes her head at Beatrix and opens the door wider, and Clover darts past them all to run inside.]


No, it's fine. We were just sleeping... Come in.

[But before she steps aside again, Tifa turns to give Eustace a shove and a little "don't be rude, go put on a shirt" look.]
roseofmay: (pic#14888349)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-12 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
[There's hesitance in Beatrix. 'Just sleeping' can mean just about anything, she imagines when it comes to the two of them. Perhaps that is just the way of paramours. Although she...

Well.

Ignoring the way she turns just a touch pink, she shifts. It's probably not hard to figure out what she's thinking when she's so transparent. Idly, she sweeps a hand through her hair and then apprehensively decides to take the invitation given to her. But not before letting Clover go first.

—When did they get a cat?

Once she's a little more properly inside, her attention turns onto Aerona and she kneels down, lifting her hands to offer her some well-deserved pets.]


As I said, I meant not to intrude. I will not overstay my welcome. I wished only to offer assistance if it was needed. I am certain both of you have many things you need time to work through. An additional hand or two is likely beneficial.

[Of course that's not all she wants. She needs to work up to the rest of it, though. It's not an easy thing for her to do, offer apologies, or to admit her own failings.]
starshower: (INT001)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-12 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[Tifa shakes her head, and the moment Eustace leaves the room, she can feel the buzz of awkwardness already starting to rise, and the air growing tight with a tension she doesn't mean to fill it with. Warmth settles in, but it isn't the kind Beatrix might have felt when Tifa came to visit. Rather, it's a bit oppressive, like trying to breathe through the thick humidity on a hot summer's day.

It's probably a good thing she's distracted by Aerona, because Tifa realizes she's staring and quickly turns on her heel to lead Beatrix to the kitchen, trying to ignore the way that heat follows her through the house.]


It's fine. Probably should've woken up a while ago anyway.

[So that they can try to get a good night's sleep at least.]

Do you want some tea?
roseofmay: (pic#15950161)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-14 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
[Beatrix has every intention to politely decline, though that doesn't seem to be happening quite the way she'd like it to. But that's Tifa. Always wanting to offer something like that. Wine or lemon bars or, in this case, tea. They probably don't need extended company and she's not inclined to think she's particularly welcoming company at the present.

She wears a frown for just a moment, subtle though it may be.]


You do not need to go out of your way for me. Seeing you both truly is enough for me. In earnest, I only wanted to issue apologies and offer my services where they may be needed.

[Why beat around the bush? Beatrix never has been and never will be good at the art of conversation.]
starshower: (INT009)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-15 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Tifa feels his hand on her shoulder, and she makes a small noise in appreciation with a nod to Eustace, and a smile for Beatrix.]

No, it's fine.

[She had wanted to see her, and she's sure that Eustace did too... It was all just a matter of finding the right time and the right words. Beatrix had just gotten around to finding them first. She would be grateful for the moment to at least clean up, and to muster up the bravery to face her... So, she makes her way to the bedroom to freshen up.]

There's plenty of tea so just pick whichever you like best. I've also got some snacks in the cupboards and fridge. Make yourself at home.

[It isn't much, but there are some biscuits and cookies, as well as fruits in the fridge.

With that, Tifa pads away with Bri and Caerwyn trailing along behind her, leaving the two of them for only a minute before she'll return in different clothes, and looking much more awake.]
roseofmay: (pic#14888349)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-16 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[In hindsight, Beatrix realises easily enough that she is normally relatively awkward, but perhaps not as much in the past as she is in this particular moment. It’s not a very impressive display considering who and what she is. But she suspects that of everyone in Reverein, Tifa and Eustace are going to be the last two to point that out.

”Make yourself at home.”

She would rather not, honestly.

Beatrix’s attention turns onto Eustace and she lifts a hand into her hair shaking it out a bit, probably doing something similar. Stalling for time? Trying to think of a way to carry on a conversation without sounding like a fool? She can’t really say. It’s so much easier when she can have something solid she ought to be doing and just moving forward through that professionalism.

Being a friend, having friends, is hard.

She follows after Eustace and keeps what she feels is a respectful distance between them. She knows he doesn’t hold things against her. Or thinks he doesn’t. If he does, he certainly hasn’t said so. If anything, he has only encouraged her, something she isn’t convinced she deserves, but is no less thankful for. Tifa’s thoughts? She can only guess.]


Rose, or something floral, if you have it. As a guest, I am determined not to be particular.

[And after a moment’s consideration, she clears her throat. It’s not that she’s forcing her following words out. It’s that they’re sentimental of her. More than she would ordinarily share.]

…It is good to see you both.
roseofmay: (pic#14889509)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-18 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
[Instead of doing as she suspects she normally might—which would be to nosily acquaint herself with his shared home (sans hands)—she largely stays put and waits patiently. She does, however, look over everything in his kitchen with an idle curiosity. When he addresses her, her attention moves back onto him.

How has she been? Not great, honestly. She’s questioned her ability to protect anyone. She’s badgered herself and her inability to protect him. Tifa. The others. She decides that she has no interest in sharing any of that. This is about them, not her.

…Doesn’t she always say that? Beatrix always wants to deflect everything.]


I am as well as I can be, considering the circumstance. Strengthened of heart to see you and Tifa. Hopefully… well.

[She’s prying and prodding him as carefully as she can manage.]

I came here more concerned about you two than I am about myself. And to say things that both of you need to hear from me.

[Not things they have to accept. Just to hear. If they forget it immediately, if they deny it, then it doesn’t matter. Beatrix doesn’t have any expectations. Maybe in the end, she just wants to be near them for a little.

What a disgustingly sentimental way to think.]
starshower: (temp 133)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-19 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
[She feels like she's interrupting something when she comes out of the room.

Tifa hadn't been trying to eavesdrop, but voices carry so easily in this little home of theirs, so when she walks out of her room, catching the tail end of Beatrix's words, she hesitates, her feet stopping in their tracks. Only for a moment before she's joining Eustace at the counter—silently—with a grateful smile when she's met with the floral scent of chamomile brewing.

She had some time—brief as it was—to collect her thoughts in the process. She's tried not to think back to the words Beatrix had said before she struck Eustace with her sword... or what it felt like to see the scar that night, still fresh. Even now, even though they seem fine, it will be some time before seeing it doesn't make her heart ache. But now, she needs to face it. She's told Eustace that he needs to do the same thing time and time again, but really... it's Tifa who has been bad about following her own advice.

Putting on smiles for others. Trying to appear put together when she still feels tattered and worn on the inside.

She takes the two steaming cups of tea to the table, setting Beatrix's down in one seat while Tifa takes the one opposite her.]


... You don't need to worry about us.

[Please don't.

But there she goes again, before she can even stop herself this time, and she hides her shame behind her hair as she dips her head.]
roseofmay: (pic#14941454)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-19 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
[For several of those moments, Beatrix only watches and listens. She hears herself in the same words. She's always saying the same thing. That others shouldn't concern themselves with her. That she's 'fine,' whatever that word might mean in her messed up definition of it. That there's no need to be concerned over her.

As such, she can't be irritated hearing it from someone else. There's something incredibly poignant about it all, however. Perhaps others feel the same way when she tries so hard to be dismissive. It does make her reconsider how she comes off to others.

She seats herself with the other two in her appropriate spot, holding her teacup betwixt her hands as she exchanges look from one to the other and back again. Beatrix is dreadfully attentive. Just as she always is. Ever observant. Ever sharp. Ever to the point, though she can admit that whatever thorns normally accompany her have drastically lessened since all that's occurred. Because no matter where everyone else is, she still requires time to feel like herself.

If she ever should again.]


I wanted to apologise.

[She's very to the point. There can be no room for misinterpretation of what she means to say or why she has come all of this way.]

Many of our hands were forced and our position pressed to such a point where we had to do or say things that none of us may be proud of. I feel that had I been a stronger individual, a better combatant, a more solid and secure friend, perhaps I could have done more. I wish I had done more.

[So many of them feel that way. As if they didn't do enough. A breath of hesitance leaves her and the features in her expression soften, betraying the ambivalence that lingers underneath a hardened exterior.]

You are both dear to me. I feel that I was not what either of you deserved from me. I did not come here to ask for explanation, or acceptance, or forgiveness. Only to say it because you both deserve to hear it from me. I will not make promises that I do not think I can keep. I will not sit here and say that next time I hope I will do better, because gods willing, there will not be a next time. I do not want to mislead either of you. I only want to hold affection for the two of you in my own way.
starshower: (temp 213)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-20 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
[Tifa listens, braces herself because she knew—she said this would come and that she wouldn't be ready to hear it. Will she ever be? She isn't sure, but all three of them at this table know that it was something she would have to hear out eventually, regardless of how badly she wants to leave it all behind now. She said that she would cross that bridge when the time came and now that it has?

... It hurts so much more than she anticipated it would. Beatrix is important to her—like family, and hearing her say all those things... It hurts in ways that words won't ever be able to say. Maybe Eustace was right. Maybe they should just shoulder all the blame. That's what she was doing on her own, or planning to, but he had made her promise she wouldn't. Even still, she's ready to.

Beatrix's apology has Tifa's fingers squeezing the mug, and the longer she speaks, the tighter her grip becomes, and the ceramic groans and squeaks underneath the pressure. She doesn't even realize that it's piping hot, and not even as her mind grounds itself again and her palms turn red does she wince, but she does set her mug down with a hardened look on her face.

And both her and Eustace open their mouths to protest at the same time:]


You aren't the one who should apologize.

[She doesn't even look at him when he mirrors her exact words, but she knows that he means them, and Tifa takes a deep breath to signal that she has more to say before he cuts in. She tries to keep some of the sharp edge out of her voice, but there's only the tremble within it to help soften it.]

You did more than enough. Being there for us was... it was too much, and I shouldn't have... I put you all in danger. [Tifa shakes her head, and glances sideways at Eustace, trying to recall what he'd told her the afternoon following.] Being strong, being a better friend... None of that has anything to do with any of it. You didn't have to do anything, and you still did.

[Tifa is kicking herself for all the things she's saying, and it's clear that she's trying to will herself not to cry into her tea and is failing miserably. She didn't think it would be this hard to face them when this came...]

I'm sorry... [She pauses to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand and take a deep breath. She's spiraling, everything spilling out of her faster than she can think about it. It's everything she's wanted to say and everything she said she wouldn't.] If it weren't for what happened, none of you would have even had to come out there to save me.

[The words hurt to say, and she looks at Eustace, knowing that he'll try to refute her claim as he always does, but she stops him with a look. She needs Beatrix to know how she feels.]

I appreciate everything you did... and I still do, but... Please, don't apologize.
Edited (adding a little extra) 2022-09-21 01:00 (UTC)
roseofmay: (pic#14941457)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-21 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
[She's... not really surprised to hear any of that from either of them, really. It wasn't reassurance she was seeking, but hearing it, maybe just a sliver of her feels a touch better. Beatrix can't say for certain. Instead of issuing an immediate response, she simply listens. She thinks. She considers. She contemplates. And she reflects. It's not just on this particular situation, but on every single one she's encountered that's led her to the present, prominent, weighted moment.

If she could have gone back in time and done something different, she would have, right? Was there another way? Did they do everything the way they had to? She supposes there's no real point in grilling herself over it. They can't go back in time and change it. Things have already happened and the best thing they can do is find ways to prevent like situations from happening in the future.

She listens to the two of them, red gaze switching betwixt each. There's no nod of acknowledgement, but it's evident that she's listening. Intently.]


I would not find it in me to really hold anyone particularly responsible for what happened. I think...

[As her gaze dips onto her own hands and eventually following a trail to her teacup, she chooses her words with the utmost of care that she can.]

I think I can understand how and why such a thing would happen. I am not immune to such things myself, though I think I did not realise it until the recent days.

[Shaking her head, she sits up a little more straight and proper, as if she's piecing together her resolve.]

I suspect what you both will benefit most from is time. At least for now. That said, if there is something I can do to assist, do not hesitate to let me know. Frankly, I could use the distraction.

[Or an excuse to run from her own dealings.]
starshower: (temp 290)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-22 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[She squeezes his hand in turn beneath the table—it's a grateful one, one that lets him know that she's listening to what he says, takes it to heart, and appreciates it all. And the little smile she offers across to Beatrix says the same thing.

Tifa wishes that she had it in her to fix everything now... Her and Eustace have been doing better, at least, but there is still that guilt that hangs over them like a cloud, and only time will allow it to dissolve. She's not sure she'll ever be free of it, but they can all at least find it within themselves to move past it and put it behind them, and look forward to better, happier things.

Some may call Tifa complacent in that regard—always finding a comfortable place and staying there—but is that really such a bad thing in times like this? She doesn't want to wallow in it for long. She wants to get back to that comfortable life and stay there in a place where they're all happy...

To Beatrix's words, Tifa shakes her head.]


There's nothing we need, I don't think... [She looks to Eustace to confirm.] But... thank you.

[Nothing that comes to mind, at least. Tifa and Eustace have worked through a lot of it together, and now it was just a matter of healing both mentally and physically.

But Tifa is eyeing Beatrix with an intensity in her stare now... There are a lot of things beneath the rubies in her eyes that aren't being said. A lot of things that Tifa both wonders and knows, but perhaps doesn't feel right being so frank about it. She doesn't know what Eustace does and doesn't know about the General's life, so it's better that she dances around it...]


... Have you been holding up okay?
roseofmay: (pic#14889509)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2022-09-26 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[She came here, willingly, knowingly that her every intention was to focus on them. She has all of her solitude to think about herself. It becomes difficult, however, in the face of people who clearly care about her. At what point, she wonders, was it all right for her to harbour affection for others and not be able to be repaid with the same?

Beatrix doesn’t immediately respond, putting more effort into keeping her expression as even as she possibly can. Truthfully, she doesn’t think she’s handling things as well. Many things feel out of her control. Maybe that’s her fault. It’s not as though she’s attempted to regain that control, assuming she’s ever had it to begin with. In many ways, she feels that she can’t express the truth in herself.

This really isn’t the time for it, honestly. It never is. It never likely will be.

She stalls for time just long enough that she can indulge in her tea, easily reminded of Alexandrian courtyards and blossoming roses. Then she settles her cup back down.]


I am as well as I can be per the circumstances.

[It’s a very diplomatic way to respond. Just like her.]

After all, I have had you two and the others routinely checking on me. [After a pause, her gaze drops thoughtfully.] Dohalim, as well, of course.

[No sense in dancing around that part any longer, she supposes.]
starshower: (temp 218)

[personal profile] starshower 2022-09-27 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Her eyes had settled on her tea, idly watching the steam rise and swirl from the cup while she patiently waits for the silence at the table to end, and her gaze snaps up to Beatrix with something of a warm spark in her eyes. She remembers being one of two (the other being Eustace) who had asked Ori to reach out to Dohalim as someone to be there to check on Beatrix when she, herself, could not, and she had trusted that he would. Having met him a couple of times and hearing him speak of Beatrix, she knew that the General was someone he cared a great deal for and that, if asked, he would do his best to make sure she was taking care of herself.

Tipping her head, her lips pull into the slightest smile, one that's more real and genuine and than the others she's tried to force tonight.]


He has... Good. [A relieved nod.] I'm glad to hear that. I... I'm sorry. I asked Ori to contact him to check on you. I just... needed to make sure that you were going to be alright. That someone was looking out for you.

[Tifa would have done it herself if she wasn't still trying to recover from her own wounds... but maybe it's better that it was Dohalim. For both their sakes.]

I knew Dohalim would if he knew.

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