songerein | [ open ] Stages of Healing

Entry tags:

[ open ] Stages of Healing

Who: Loona and you!
Which: Open Log
Where: Various Locations depending on prompt.
What: Laid up from her fight helping to restore Alastor, Loona tries to take it a little easy, catching up with things... maybe even opening up a little more?
Warnings: Loona. Just Loona being Loona with rampant swearing and disrespect to most.

[Inflammatory]

Misery loves company.

So of course when Loona felt upset, angered or slighted in even the smallest degree she was indeed most vocal about broadcasting that feeling and then sharing it with everyone within her immediate vicinity whether they wanted it or not.

In this current situation however?

"...this fucking sucks." Loona groaned rather flatly, pillow over her head and nearly ready to just choke on the damn thing.

At least when her head hurt this much it was usually from a hangover. And although this result was also from a wild night it certainly wasn't a fun one Loona had went out for.

The hellhound was laid up in the cozy bed, one leg propped and raised up where it lay in a cast that was such a bright shade of pink it nearly lit the whole room up past the drawn curtains. Loona's muzzle curled in some disgust, she'd do something about that later, when she had motivation or energy enough to do anything about it.

The rest of her was dotted in various pieces of gauze and dressings, her neck held in a soft brace - luckily the little fae healer thing that had tried to approach her with the cone of shame would recover sometime after Loona did - and at least nothing else broken or bruised more badly than her ego.

Still, it was few who could say they came out of a scrape with The Radio Demon and come off as lightly as she did. Hell, she even got the gift basket for her troubles, glancing at Alastor's most delicately handwritten apology and presents to get her back on her feet faster.

But all the same?

"...guh..." She slumped a little more there, looking at the wall where a far too cheerfully drawn mural hung to try and encourage positivity. "...least if I was back home I could be binging Voxflix or... or..."

She rolled her hand in the air and let it fall back to her side. Really all she could do in her current condition was get her energy back. With the curtains drawn and no other company it felt like all she could do was try and sleep until she could get back up. But between discomfort, irritation and just absolute boredom, even that felt far away.

What was a bored to death hellhound to do to while away the hours?

[Proliferative]

A few days of recovery after the fight from Alastor had done some wonders. Up and out of bed, out of all the rolls of gauze of Boris Karlov cosplay, Loona had energy to spend and ideas to work on.

And so there she would be found at the marketplace, back behind her dingy little stall and all its dilapidated decor that at least looked on theme for the upcoming Halloween celebrations? Burnt black wood, cobweb-like nets and patchwork rag coverings made it look far like a stall and a lot more like a homeless lean-to amid the other far more colorful vendors and artisans on display.

All addorned not-so-lovingly by the slapdash sign that had been hung for today over the display of bleak, black and macabre offerings of gothic clothing and accessories within:

NOT TOPIC FASHION 4 THE UNFASHIONABLE

And there hard at work was Loona behind the counter, eyeing a roughly drawn sketch of something that looked a lot more colorful than her normal flair for the savage and dreary. Still laid up with that casted leg propped up on the counter, but at least she was able to do what she wanted with some time to herself again.

Questionable-acquisition of the stall aside, Loona had at least tried to run it like some kind of legitimate business venture.

Although at this point, it was more of an oddity and more an outlet of passion than any income of profit as Loona glared at a far busier and far more pretty stall across the marketplace compared to her empty shack.

"...not like I didn't know no-one appreciates anyone who doesn't just follow the fucking piper... but goddamnit..."

She slumped the papers aside and fell forward onto the counter herself, itching at the edge of the pink cast that was bothering the top of her thigh. The thing was a bitch, but at least she could smirk that it came with some benefits like getting more time away from Devil May Cry to return to this place for a bit and take it easier.

That and if she didn't actually come here that often, people would confuse it as a dumping area and start leaving their trash all over it.

But hey, at least it helped finding materials for any new projects rather than having to buy in stuff.

Still.

Even if she wouldn't say it aloud, it hurt to not have any attention to the actual-honest-to-goodness-truth effort she was trying to put into the work.

Outside of a special project she'd promised and her own costume work, there wasn't much else to work on.

Business had to pick up at some point? Right?

"...fuck." Realization finally hit as she sat straight up.

"...I'm turning into fucking Blitzø."

[Remodeling]

Not that Loona would ever admit it, but being back behind the desk at the office of Devil May Cry/Immediate Murder Professionals (DIMCP? Working on an acronym, she'd get back to that later.) felt a far cry better than she would have imagined it.

A good week or so had passed since the night of the living Alastor and between some rest and recuperation, Loona was almost back on her feet.

Almost.

The pink cast that covered her left leg was quickly becoming a nemesis that showed its wear and tear of ragged edges and damage from the general disrepair and disrespect Loona had shown the thing. But now, with no further need for the costume color scheme of pink, the hellhound had resolved to do something she had wanted to ever since she had woken up and found out someone picked the casts color for her.

"Almost..."

"Almost... ahhhhh." The sigh of relief was long, slow and enjoyed as Loona looked at her handiwork and slung an office marker over her shoulder and into the waste basket where all of the other black markers from the closet had been stolen, used and discarded.

"Perfect." she shone a grin, looking at the finally finished product as her cast now was covered from toe to thigh-high in black, completely covered by her very slapdash artistry and as good a match as she could get for the stirrup stocking on her other leg.

Taking a moment to snap a photo of her handiwork, she settled back and reflected on her semi-tidy desk.

CUSTOMER SERVICE: LOONA

So read the title before her, ready to serve, redirect and get back into the thick of whatever would come through Dante's office door once more.

Although, why all of a sudden was Loona feeling so dizzy sitting there?

She looked back at her freshly recolored cast and the offending pile of used markers in the bin as she slumped there, "Huh."

"...maybe should've... opened... windows...before..."

And back her head rolled as she faded off for now.

Well, luckily it wasn't the worst thing Loona had ever done to be unconscious behind the desk, but whatever would greet her when she'd come round was likely to be a surprise for her or whoever caught her off guard.

However... it also meant that the hellhound was completely out of it, with her cast just right there on display. And after a week of keeping everyone at bay from signing it, were any brave enough to try and risk sneaking in a signature or something more on the injured limb before Loona woke up?

[Wildcard]

Want to have some quality time with Loona while she's taking things slowly and getting back on her feet? Happy to talk anything you're thinking about bumping into her, meeting her elsewhere or for certain time periods between the carnival, fight and other events! Feel free to message me and we can come up with some ideas!

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She'd dressed for the occasion before setting out to check on those injured from the mission: The little imp seemed to be springing back between sessions of insisting she'd had worse and "so long as Mox is OK I'm good", but now it was time to check on the more... fractious of them.

Madhuri stepped right in and made for the vase. Without a word, she weaved her hands as if the coax up something that lay hidden within the vessel. After a moment, bright red spider lilies sprung to life with a glimmer.

"...There we are. And how are you, dear?"

Loona's automatic reaction beyond her bristling fur was to raise the pillow she'd had over her face and prepare to huck the thing right at the opening door and whoever was stepping through, "I told you pieces of shit to leave me-"

She stopped, rather blankly staring at the new arrival as ears tilted confused, someone new? No, something familiar... everything after getting punted by Alastor into the first tree was a blur that hurt her head, but something about her was familiar...

"-alone."

Down she dropped the pillow, but she stayed just as tense looking as if expecting ready a new fight or struggle to burst out while she was in a weakened state, looking the lady over to try and get any hints. Perhaps the receptionist would have done better to look at the staff roster more often, but she'd never had the pleasure of meeting the healer prior proper and now it seemed Madhuri had all the displeasure to get through.

"...Fine." she huffed rebelliously, wrinkling her nose suddenly at the new flowers that sprung up.

Okay, clothes were likely a giveaway, looked like something out of Nurse Witch Komogi-chan here... Some kind of medic lady... Even if Loona couldn't crawl back into a corner from the new figurative fiberglass ball and chain on her leg, she could at least force herself to sit up and ignore the pains all over her body to try and look like she was in shape enough to defend herself if need be.

"Better question. Who are you again?"

A slight cant of her head was her answer in the first. Right, she did seem particularly out of it in the fray.

"I am Madhuri. Dante had implied he had need of someone to help patch the others up, but I hadn't expected my skills would be tested so soon."

She waved a hand.

"I mean, a mission against a noctaere right off the bat...! They're nothing to sneeze at! But the demon behind the grin is a deer friend of mine, and I couldn't refuse assisting in helping him."

...okay, if Dante was vouching for her that maybe explained why the lady was smelling familiar, getting a whiff off of her of the demon hunte-

Oh.

Oh dear, Loona's face fell as Madhuri talked.

The lady thought she was funny.

"...I thought you just said you were here to make me feel better? I'm trying to decide which hurts worse, my leg or that fucking pun."

She sighed, "Yup, guess that about confirms it... you are definitely a friend of the Radio Demon if you got a sense of humor like that."

"And, uh, you can see plenty how I ended up after that scuffle, sitting here like a good hound, not sneaking out of bed... no sneaking out or any shit. Soooo, doing fine, absolutely no reason to poke or prod me any more. Right?"

She smiled wider. Alastor and his 'dad jokes'...

But the question had her sit upon the edge of the bed and give the tip of her tail a little shiver, jingling the dancer's bells affixed among the spines.

"None, unless you'd like me to give you a little bitty poke. I offer a momentary escape, if anything. The dreamotion seems to be holding you together for now, but all it asks now is for your... cooperation? It's hard to explain."

The hellhound didn't snap, but certainly she didn't lower her guard much any more, again trying to haul herself a little further back - although certainly that added weight was keeping her pinned in place - and watching carefully.

And the lady seemed to certainly talk in a way that had Loona only the more puzzled.

"Yeeeeeah, harder to get it either...?" She heaved a sigh and shrugged, "Look... cards on table I've had pretty much zero luck doing anything with dreamotion, apart from... putting a coin in a ride of some kind I think? ...Instructions were kinda unclear."

"...much like this current goddamn conversation..."

"Keep in mind I took a pretty nasty whack to the head? What exactly we talking about relief-wise and poking...?"

"Some people like poking and I'm quite good with my hands, I'm told. But that isn't what you're after, clearly... what you'd like is understanding."

She shifted her tail to reveal a small lantern hidden amid the bells. It swirled, ever-moving and shifting through all colors swimming within the crystal ball housed inside.

"You dream, and you build energy within the vessel here. Using your emotions, you shift the world around you whether you realize it or not. Simply expressing yourself is a good place to start, to see how dreamotion manifests for you." She gave the lantern a flick, and it gave an eerie little chime.

"As an escape, I offer a dreamwalk with you. I enjoy sharing the sights of the worlds of others, and in turn sharing pieces of mine."

"..."

Loona was quiet for a moment - which in itself was likely an accomplishment - watching the display there with the lantern, ears alert, and at least even though she did not relax she no further tensed herself.

"...okay." She spoke again after taking that time to process, "I think I got it..."

But with every word, this new medic lady only added to Loona's confusion in her reluctance to speak straight. At least the final question was clear enough... Loona certainly wasn't too keen on just accepting the offer out of the blue to do some weird out of body experience, but really- "...fuck. Not like I got much else going on right now."

She chewed on her lip there a second, "Alright. But, can you like, speak straight a second... what you were thinking on doing... poking and dreamwalking?"

"Forgive me, the poking thing was a joke involving a fetish for nurses." She waved a hand dismissively.

"But I'm fairly good at creating dreamscapes." Her... prior mistake aside.

"If you'd like to not be stuck in bed a while, I can dreamshift us into somewhere in my world, or we can visit somewhere on yours using the energy from my lantern."

Okay, Loona could probably see where the first one came from, there were plenty freaks in Hell that wanted her to do something along that line, then Madhuri kept talking, "..."

"Wait, back the fuck up a second!" She nearly sprung right up from her bed, falling back into it and pushing past the grimace of a dozen aches and pains, "You can get me back to Hell?!"

"That!" Loona pointed like a hunting dog right on the target, "Fucking that! I know why I'm sitting around on my ass, but what's your excuse?! Let's do it already!"

She laughed quietly, her eyes closed. When they opened again the limbal rings were glowing a soft violet. A wind was kicking up her hair.

"...Alright. Sit back and relax each muscle in your body. Picture in your mind's eye a piece of home."

And she would, in turn, release the built-up magic in her lantern to bolster what Loona may have gathered in hers. In doing so, the world around them would shift as two dreamers slipped into induced slumber, concocting just whatever version of Hell the hound had in mind.

The point of time for any questions or concerns was far too late, the hellhound opened her mouth, then shut it, clenching her claws into the bedcovers before feeling the influence spread over her of a growing drowsiness.

Bit by bit Loona faded, falling gently back to the bed with a last gasp of exertion, her body falling bit by bit away into this strange and distant dream.

~~~~~~

A shrill and annoying beep resounded around the room, leaving Loona's ears flicking in time and visually indicating the growing annoyance with each growing tone. "Fuck-"

"-off!" Loona yelled as she swung around in bed, smashing Blitzø's candy-colored pony alarm clock for what had to be the umpteenth time.

The hellhound blinked, staying still for a moment as she came around, looking slowly around the room at all of the posters - her posters - and clothes and accessories and junk. Every piece of discarded takeout food or beer bottles, every bit of used clothing that lay forgotten for the washbasket, all of it was hers.

"...I'm back?" She spoke slowly, still looking around as if unsure whether or not to trust her senses. Had it all been a dream? Truly?

She sat up and yanked back the covers, only to have her expression sour, finding herself still half mummified. "Well."

"This is a pretty goddamn lateral move. Going from being bed in one place to back to another..."

She looked around... now she was just damned confused, had she been dreaming? Had she had something happen to her and then made a dream up about it and then that dream was in another dream, or... or...?

"...think I'm gonna puke," she spoke, feeling the tightening anxiety and uncertainty haul her in over what was even real or not anymore, grabbing for that stupid hat she'd wore like one time and regretted it.

Well. Of all the places in Hell Loona could have picked, it certainly wasn't the most imaginative start, but, then again, Dreamotion and Loona had a long way to go.

A small apartment with walls that dripped the personality of a performer. She couldn't help looking over all the drawings, posters and photographs while gingerly stepping around second-hand furniture. There were a lot of memories here... and there's even a picture here of a horned red man proudly holding an adoption certificate before a thoroughly unimpressed-

"...think I'm gonna puke,"

Ah. Well, she'd never vomited from dreamwalking before, but everyone was different, weren't they?

"Deep breaths, dear," she called, but curiosity had her peer through the shades and look out to a very red city outside.

Huh. She imagined Hell to be more... uh, hellish. The multiverse truly was interesting.

Madhuri certainly seemed to live up to her healing background, as the sobering effect of hearing her voice just about was immediate on Loona, the hellhound freezing.

So this was still a dream. Or... that hadn't been a dream... wait, had? Goddamnit this was too confusing now, they were starting to hit Christopher Nolan levels of convoluted bullshit in Loona's head.

Either way, as Madhuri looked to the window, Loona spied something else on the floor... her laptop. Loona flicked an eye back at her again, watching her do some city seeing, and feeling just bold enough, leaned her good leg out, reeling the laptop in with her foot into grabbing reach.

"Welcome to Hell." Loona added conversationally to try and distract further, "Top level, where sinners and demons meet with all the pizzazz and appeal of a starbucks enema."

Got it.

Loona hauled the laptop up and open. Power? Good. As the thing lit up, she tried to as quietly as possible go to a webpage, Verosika Mayday's thread?

The hellhound hit the enter button gingerly to see whether or not she had wifi or not... Only to be rewarded by a blast of out of sync music far more terrifying than anything Alastor had broadcast in their fight.

"Fuck!" Loona damn near flung herself to the wall, clinging to the bedframe for dear life as the laptop would only continue to mock her.

"..."

"Wait. If these are my memories, did I just rick roll myself?"

Sinners and demons... she recalled hearing as much before from Alastor. So this was where he was from, too.

But before she could ask anything further, she was assaulted by... something honestly rather catchy that seemed to have the hellhound reeling. With a small gasp of shock, she turned and went to assess if somehow any further damage was afflicted by the fight-or-flight response.

"I- rickroll, what is a rickroll??"

Apart from maybe yanking one or two of her dressings loose, the hellhound certainly seemed to have caused no further physical harm to herself, although the grimace she'd give at being examined would certainly suggest the tenderness and immediate regret at moving so suddenly as Loona began to sink back down onto the bed again.

"It... uh..." She felt like she needed to lick her lips here, did she admit that her own brain was fucking with her? "It's... a kind of traditional greeting thing... like, uh, you wanna surprise someone?"

That was kind of true, right?

"But yeah, not sure what I expected."

And her eyes returned to their surroundings, "...much like this place kinda, I guess apart from getting back home I didn't really think of what was the next step... since I'm guessing no Voxflix, can we like, stream a movie from my brain, or would it be corrupted from bits I was staring at my phone for, or...?"

She rolled her hand slowly to gesture, she was fairly damn lost here and Madhuri was the one who'd brought them here. Loona just hoped she had some kind of answers or ideas what to do next.

"I see..." Thank you, Loona, for the hell you just invited to Madhuri's friend circles.

"If you can recall the plot, the dreamotion can fill in the rest, but if you were a little distracted you may find things may progress a little differently depending upon your imagination." She chuckled.

"I never thought of creating immersive stories for others to view, however! I should look into something like that instead of somehow sharing an embarrassing memory. That, er... yes... I hadn't intentionally meant to share a fantasy or two." She rubbed her head awkwardly.

"Oh, but if you have a type of story you like, I'd be happy to share some of my own stories that fit the theme."

"...Immersive story, huh?"

The wheels began ticking in Loona's head there, letting Maddie off the hook on that embarrassing incident she'd blurted out, "So, uh, say for instance someone thought that the ending to a show they liked was bullshit. Y'know. Total Gay of Thrones last season writer-room bullshit."

"Or, like, studio-meddling Suicide Squad - not the Gunn one - we could, like, re-do the movie? Like, me swinging around Harley's baseball bat or some shit and taking part?"

"Fuck, you got any idea how big an idea that'd be?"

"Who the fuck doesn't wanna live out their fave movie or something. How much do you figure you could CHARGE to have folks live that one out?"

"You could charge a very pretty gil, really. But you'd be correct: You can change these stories however you like and share them with others. Why, if you wanted the world outside your window here to be made of chocolate right now, you very well could."

She canted her head curiously.

"I won't deny the occasional dream pulling that, really... or changing outcomes, wondering what the world may have been if things didn't occur..."

"...like if I still had a mom who wanted me?"

The question came out before Loona could even think otherwise. And immediately afterward, the question hung there, as Loona stared off downward. All the while, mulling over Madhuri's words and left pondering that question, what could have been or what couldn't have...

And outside the small room, the world unravelled, the dark and dank fading to a white that even the outlines vanished like a child pulling the string from a tapestry.

And finally the window shuttered all by itself.

"...Feels... kinda pointless." The room's heat for the humid hellscape began to fade, "...You can pretend things worked out. Or that... your life ain't a big fucked up mess... but dreams are dreams, right?"

"Gotta wake up sometime... and when you do?"

The question hovered as the rest of the dreamwalk seemed to be disconnecting from Loona.

"What do you do then?"

She also let it hang. It wasn't her place to offer anything or speak. All she could do was continue to host the dream as Loona wished, and cure just a touch of the boredom.

But it seemed she was withdrawing. Madhuri wasn't going to push.

"I reflect. We all become what we are as a product of our environment. We grow stronger from our experiences, both in good and in ill. Perhaps your life is a fucked up mess, but you're alive. You're tougher from your experiences. But to completely deny ourselves a whimsy is to starve the mind."

She gestured vaguely. Atop her head, a doll-like manifestation of an individual with red eyes to match his hair and pointed cat's ears sprung to life and began to mimic Rick Astley's dance.

"Not everything needs to have a point."

"..."

Loona couldn't make it ten seconds. She snirked. Then she snorted. Then finally she all out laughed, shaking her head at the stupid little thing leading them back to the start of this whole dream right there.

Despite all the stuff bogging down on the hellhound, the stupid-fucking-rickroll brought her back as she shook her head finally, "Fuck me..."

"Okay. Okay. Not like I haven't ever went on a hell of a bender knowing I'd fucking hate myself in the morning I guess..."

"So... iunno, maybe it wouldn't hurt to just forget it all and have a little fun..."

Almost immediately a bunch of bobbleheads popped into existence, landing on the bedside table and dancing with motion after their landings, each of them suspiciously resembling a member of the office crew, each locked in their own part of the Astley dance.

Maybe just for a little while longer they could pass some time without having to think about stuff for a bit...

The bobbleheads were so cute, and she recognized them. Each seemed to fit some part of the dance. She reached up and took the little mammet cat, and set it with the toys. Unable to help herself, she reached out to touch an ear. It twitched.

"Nothing wrong with taking a break for a little fun. Seems you use that console of sorts..." She moved on over.

"But what is it? I've seen things like this only on occasion, and they store information- visual journal entries or something. But it plays music, too?"

Because Loona was who you speak to when it comes to learning about the internet, right? Surely it won't annoy ones like Akechi if Madhuri learned of the innocent meme. . .

Loona raised a brow, looking over at the laptop where she'd dropped it.

"What, wait, that thing?"

"Orrrr, like, my phone that's currently seven shades of busted?" The hellhound slumped back, a slight rolling of eyes as she thought about the phone that Dante had dutifully taken to Akechi to get repaired.

She clicked her tongue, "...they're pretty much the same thing nowadays so... either way...?"

"It's... kind of like a window I guess. Your life is really shitty and you feel overwhelmed, you have this escape for like a couple minutes at a time and it's connected."

"Like EVERYWHERE connected. You wanna see a kid get punted by a horse because he thought he was being a smartass to it and then gets to eat shit? Right there. Bam."

"Wanna hear people talk shit about the celebrities that EVERYONE talks about so much that you just hate it and wanna hear them taken down a peg or two? Done."

"It's..." she began to slow down slowly, "It's kind of like it's own goddamn addiction in itself. Y'know? You end up just kinda sucked into the whole thing, when you got the whole world at your fingertips, who wants to just stay two feet on the ground?"

"It's everything, it's everywhere. All at once."

"..."

"And. It was kinda the only thing I got to keep when I got put in the adoption center."

"Had to fight a lot of other little shits just to keep it getting taken away from me."

"..."

"But. Uh, yeah. Like... music, movies, instas, news, people talking shit... yeah. It's all there pretty much?"

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[ open ] Stages of Healing

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