[Closed] But he's still going to call her Little Miss Squash

[angelbirth]

Who: Zelda & Satan
Which: Closed Log
Where: Zelda & Link's Treehouse
What: Pact-making
Warnings: Making a pact with a demon.


Satan and Zelda had set a date and arranged to meet at Zelda's treehouse for their pact. Although he trusted her judgment, he still wanted to give her some time in case she ended up changing her mind. After all, once they entered the pact, there really wasn't any going back.

As soon as he'd proposed the date, though, he immediately grew anxious. The main reasons he'd wanted to make a pact with Zelda were to one: have an easier time protecting her should the need arise, and two: to bind them together so that Zelda could summon him to her side whenever she needed him. Despite both of them being in this world for over a year, he worried that either he or she would be swept away to their own world before they actually completed the pact. Their pact would--should--allow her to summon him even without the use of Dreamotion, and so, theoretically, she could summon him to her side even if she were in her own world. And, even if they were to forget one another because their current selves were just dream versions of themselves, Satan would still be able to feel the pact, and that alone would set him off to find her.

So, obviously, Satan is relieved when, as the days pass, he continues to see Zelda's name in his journal's directory.

On the arranged date, Satan is up at dawn, already packing the leather bag Zelda had gotten him that he rarely leaves home without. With a heavy heart, he slips his Applied Dictionary of Potions book inside the bag, along with a wrapped box of homemade sweets. In a way, he hates that he doesn't even have to think about whether he'd prefer to have a pact with Zelda or keep the book, but it does leave him to wonder how much he's changed in the past year. Surely he would have opted to keep the book in a heartbeat when they'd first met, but even by this time last year he'd already grown quite fond of her....

They'd decided he'd come to her home a little after 9 o'clock in the morning. It seemed fair enough, given that the sun wouldn't be too bright and Zelda wouldn't have to be up so ridiculously early.

Shortly before he's due to leave, he scribbles a note to Zelda in his journal: I'm coming over now, but I thought you should know I've decided there is something else I want other than the pact itself. We've known each other for over a year, and I still don't know the day you were born. You know mine, so I'd like to know yours.

Birthdays were just never a topic of discussion for the two of them, and he couldn't stop himself from being curious. Message sent, he packs his journal into his bag as well and heads out to Zelda and Link's treehouse.

He'd decided not to tell Mammon where he was going, mostly because he didn't want to deal with the inevitable teasing. Said inevitable teasing was also one of the reasons why he didn't feel like entering a pact in his own home.

It's five minutes 'til 9 when Satan knocks on her door. To be early is to be on time, and "fashionably late" isn't in his lexicon. As he waits for her response, Satan hopes that this world actually allows them to enter into a pact together, and that Zelda hasn't changed her mind.

Comments

[angelbirth]

"Good morning," he returns to her. Satan notes her smile and is still somehow fascinated by it. It's such a different experience to be greeted with a smile than to be greeted with an annoyed sigh or a conniving grin from his family, and seeing her smile melts his own usual cheerful mask into a more genuinely happy expression.

He steps inside Zelda's shared treehouse quickly so that she can shut the door against the cold, although from the fairly light way he is dressed, it's clear the cold isn't much of a bother to him. After all, it's chillier in the Devildom than it is in the human world.

"I'm feeling confident that the pact will work," Satan says as he scans the treehouse for any new additions, mostly of the flora variety. "I've been practicing calling upon the elements and it's worked well enough. Although, it's not something we need to jump into right away. I'm sure you have questions."

Suddenly, he reaches up and runs a hand through his hair. Right. He told her he'd show her his demon form, but he supposes that could wait. Even though the Dreamwalkers are relatively unfazed by those with different appearances, being in his demon form still fills him with the expectation that people will turn tail and run, which isn't always the experience he's looking for. It's easier to travel looking like a normal human.

"I'll answer any you have, so please feel free to toss as many my way as you like. But, before that," he adds, "I do want to ask you a question of my own one more time: are you sure this is something you want to do?"

He wonders if Zelda will be annoyed by him asking this question again. He knows she understands, at least for the most part, that their pact cannot be undone once it's initiated, but he cannot help but ask for her confirmation once again.

[multidisciplinary]

Zelda closes the door behind Satan. Since he's definitely been to Zelda's home on a few occasions, he will recognize the kitchen, which is where the front door opens to. It was always on the small side to begin with, but now that Link is here too, it's getting a bit cramped. There are a lot more glass jars than the last time Satan was here, many filled with insects, plant matter, or monster parts collected by Link and Zelda during their Wildlands forays.

There are a number of plants as well, set on shelves or hung from the ceiling near the windows. Most are average houseplants, looking larger and leafier than when Satan saw them last, but there are a few new additions to the kitchen: a tiny sprout with two or three eyeballs, a single bulb whos nighttime glow is fading with the morning light, and a few pots of soil with various illustrations attached to signify what is planted. Zelda has repurposed the pots that held the starters Satan gave her for Christmas last year, all of which have been repotted once or twice and received new homes throughout the treehouse.

As Satan speaks, Zelda clears her research from the kitchen table, closing her books and stacking them with her notes on one of the shelves of jars. She is heartened to hear that his practice has been going well. It was difficult not to offer to help him with it, as she so often likes to do when Satan is tackling a challenge. But in this situation, there wouldn't have been any way for her to help.

Zelda turns around in time to see Satan run a hand through his hair. Is that a look of hesitation on his face? She hasn't forgotten that he offered to show her his demon form, but she assumes that will happen during the formation of the pact. (After all, it seems logical that Satan would need to take his true form for something like this.) She is about to ask him if something is troubling him, but he beats her to it.

Ah, he's still worried that she might be making this decision rashly. Zelda's expression softens. She can't fault Satan for asking that question over and over again; entering into an agreement that binds their souls together for the rest of her life isn't a decision that should be made lightly. Especially given they've only known each other for a year or so. And yet—

"I'm sure," she says with a nod. She pause for a moment, looking for the right words. "I think a lot about the people that I've met here in Songerein, the friends I've made in my time here.

"This dream world is fickle. We come and go so easily. I think about the friends I've made who have since awakened to their worlds." She steps closer to Satan as she speaks. "I'm grateful that I had the chance to meet them at all, but I miss them. And then I think about the friends who are still here and I start to worry: will they disappear too? It's the nature of this place, after all.

"But I'm so tired of losing the people I care about. If I were to awake one day and find you gone—truly gone this time—" Zelda comes to a stop in front of Satan, shaking her head. "Perhaps it is selfish of me, and I do not wish to lose anyone else—but more than anyone, I do not want to lose you."

[angelbirth]

There are few people who speak to him with such kindness. Of course there are those who speak to him politely, but few who carry such weight and warmth behind their words. It moves him in a way that brings him equal parts comfort and discomfort. Comfort in that at times like this it feels as though the bond he has with Zelda warms his very soul, but discomfort in that feeling that way also makes him feel vulnerable.

Satan listens with the utmost attention when Zelda speaks, although he wants nothing more than to wander away toward one of the new pots of soil because he can feel how his face heats up at the earnestness of Zelda's words. It's embarrassing, and he'd rather her not see his inability to keep his face neutral, but...

...but at the same time, if they're going to have a pact, he supposes he may as well get used to this. Even though he knows Zelda won't judge him for the crime of feeling and displaying genuine emotion, it's embarrassing nonetheless. He wonders if he perhaps feels this way because he has worked on perfecting his mask of happiness for nearly a thousand years, yet he finds he doesn't have to wear it around Zelda.

Satan takes a small breath meant more to steady his own emotions than anything else before he responds.

"I don't think it's selfish to not want to lose the people you care about." He feels that it's normal whether one is a demon or a human or a Hylian, to want to stay with the those people. If Zelda were to disappear from his life one day, he would be absolutely devastated and he knows it. "And I'm delighted you count me as one of those people. Although it may not carry as much weight, given that you've said it first, I feel the same toward you. Although, let's be honest, you certainly wouldn't miss me calling you Little Miss Squash, would you?"

He wants to add that he is sorry he can't help her with those she's already lost, or the others she's afraid she will lose, but he doesn't. The pact will only work for the two of them, after all, and Satan is sure that Zelda knows that. He doesn't want to suggest that, should they both be forced to return to their own worlds someday, they can go on an adventure to find her friends because... well, he will probably only be able to convince Barbatos to do one portal, and that would be the one to get Satan to Zelda in the first place.

"Then I guess it's settled. We'll move forward as planned," he says, although he can't stop himself from smiling warmly at her, a spark of excitement in his eyes.

"I know you have questions, by the way. What's the process, what might it feel like... I'm sure you've been thinking of those types of questions ever since we first agreed to do this. So please, ask away. I will answer them all, even if they're not specifically about the pact." He pauses briefly, then clarifies, "As long as I actually know the answer."

[multidisciplinary]

If their roles were reversed and Satan had been the one to first share his heartfelt feelings, Zelda would be in much the same place as he is now—touched, flustered, and unsure how to respond. It's become so easy to bare her heart to him, but hearing those same sentiments reciprocated sets her all aflutter.

Satan's remark about her nickname gets an open laugh out of Zelda, although she doesn't comment. In truth, she would miss it dearly. Yes, Mammon has taken to calling her Little Miss Squash (or some variation upon it) as well, but it isn't the same. Someone else could call her 'Little Bird,' but it doesn't mean anything if it's not coming from Urbosa.

"I know you have questions." He knows her too well! Zelda nods in affirmation, then inclines her head to the kitchen table where they can sit down.

"I'm sure some of them will be answered in the process, but you're right, I do have a few." She gives him an apologetic smile as she slides into a chair. "I suppose what I want to know most is: have you ever done this before?"

[angelbirth]

"A few questions, huh?" he echoes back to her as he makes his way to the kitchen table with a smile. For as logical as her mind is, he doubts it was only a few, but he won't tease it about her too much. After all, he already has plans for teasing her once their pact is complete.

"I've done it once before," he says as he sets his bag on the table and unpacks an extremely thick-looking book. Its title is in demonic script, and he carefully sets it next to his bag. It would be the first time she's seen this particular book given how recently he'd acquired it from the Wishing Well.

Then he turns his face to look at her properly again. "It was with a human who had been selected as an exchange student at RAD. They're... very interesting, and I have them to thank for my initial growth as a person. My brothers and I--all seven of us--we each have a pact with them. It's..."

Satan inhales sharply as he tries to think of how best to explain how he feels about his first pact. "We all had different reasons for forming our pacts, some less serious than others. But, they're like family now. I mean that literally in that they're the descendent of Lilith, but regardless, it's just been the one time. Although I spent a lot of time socializing in the Devildom, it was all very surface level, and I didn't have many opportunities to visit the human world. Besides, even if I visited more often, it's not like I'd be going with the purpose of making a pact with a human."

He pauses briefly and decides he ought to try to preemptively answer what is most likely another one of her questions. "Some of my brothers have made multiple pacts, like Mammon and Asmo. We can have as many pacts active as we like, but it would be unwise to have more than two or three. So, you would be my second pact, both active and in total."

Satan recognizes that a pact is also a ritual of subjugation, although he doesn't really want to call it that because to him, that's not the point. Still, having four or five or more people with some level of control over him? No thank you.

[multidisciplinary]

Indeed, Zelda's gaze is immediately drawn to the bulky tome as Satan sets it on the table. It's one she's never seen before and its cover is written in an unfamiliar script. It doesn't look like something he would have found at the Tree of Stories or the archive, so it must be something from his world. A spell book, perhaps, containing instructions for how to form a pact. But her attention is only swayed briefly.

Zelda studies Satan's features as he describes the human he has made a pact with, the way he initially struggles to describe them. A descendent of Lilith? No wonder he and all of his brothers have formed pacts with this human. How strange must that be for Satan, to meet in person the descendent of the sister Lucifer loved so deeply that her death resulted in Satan's birth.

But this person sounds familiar. Come to think of it, hasn't Mammon described someone like this?—A human exchange student at RAD that he treasures (although perhaps he has not said so plainly). They must be a remarkable person, to be so valued by all of Satan's family. They would have to be, for someone like Lucifer to care about them. With the disdain he showed for Zelda when they briefly met, it's hard for the princess to imagine him actually caring about a human.

Satan's explanation actually answers several other questions Zelda had: whether a demon and/or a mortal can have more than one pact at a time, whether anyone in his family has ever formed a pact before.

"Is that common?" she asks. "I would have thought, given how long you've been alive, that you would have met and formed pacts with others in the past."

[angelbirth]

"I'm more of an outlier in comparison with the rest of my family," he says softly with a shrug of his shoulders. "Although all of my brothers are significantly older than me, we've all been demons for the same amount of time. That being said..."

Satan runs his hands along the thick tome he withdrew from his bag, not out of attention to it but because he feels his hands need to do something as he thinks. Tracing the familiar script helps him keep his emotions even.

"I have trouble connecting with others. Being my real self is... difficult. Who wants to genuinely befriend someone who carries so much anger in their heart? I work hard to keep it in check, but I lose my temper sometimes regardless and when I do, the anger I feel is often uncontrollable. So, I wear a mask because it's easier that way, and when you do that, you don't... really make connections."

He sighs, finding himself unable to look at Zelda right now. He knows if he looks she won't be judging him, but even so, he just can't bring himself to look. If anything, he suspects she may be looking at him with empathy, given her own barriers of status in her world.

"Most of my brothers just have one active pact, either because they don't go to the human world regularly or because they're more... shy, I guess you could say. Asmo has two active pacts, the other being with a human sorcerer named Solomon who only wants to make pacts with my brothers to get to Lucifer. Mammon has... I don't even know, at least three or four, but only one of those matters to him. As far as I know, everyone else only has one, but I'm sure most of them have made a few others in the past."

With Lucifer being the exception, because he wouldn't even agree to do a pact initially. He decided, in his own Lucifer way, to be the master of the pact he made with their sister's descendent, and Satan is glad that it didn't work out the way Lucifer had wanted.

Finally, he turns to look at Zelda. "Sorry. I went off on a tangent, but I wanted to add that it obviously isn't that way with you. I've never felt the need to force myself to be someone I'm not around you, and my wrath that's always with me feels like it subsides, too. As difficult as it is for me to connect with others, it's... never been that way with you."

[multidisciplinary]

He's right—the look upon Zelda's face is one of empathy as she listens. Having trouble connecting with others, wearing a mask; these are problems Zelda knows well. Maintaining the division between a public and private persona is an expected part of being royalty. Zelda has had a lifetime of practice couching her emotions so that she only ever projects an air of calm and confidence to her people. A princess must be strong. A princess must do her duty. A princess must not cry. Those mantras took root so deeply that, over the years, Zelda lost touch with her own heart. Who Hyrule needed her to be supplanted who she was as a person and left her weaker for it. Were it not for her love of research, Zelda might have lost everything that made her who she was in her desperate quest to be the princess Hyrule needed her to be. The princess her father needed her to be.

Her expression is soft when Satan is able to look at her again, wearing a sympathetic smile as if to say 'there's nothing to apologize for.'

"You know, it's a little funny that I cannot say the same at all," Zelda muses. "Ironically, you're the first person I ever lied to about my identity."

Which gets a laugh out of her.

"Except, in a way, I was able to be more myself when we met than I ever have been before. At least, that I can remember. Even with Link, I've always been 'Princess Zelda.' You let me be just 'Zelda' for awhile." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear self consciously. "I'm glad you got to meet her first, instead of 'Princess Zelda.'"

[angelbirth]

Satan watches her tuck the stand of hair behind her ear with a small smile.

"I wouldn't say you lied to me. After all, you are Zelda, are you not? Besides, I did encourage you to come up with a pseudonym if you weren't comfortable sharing your real name. You could have told me your name was Hilda and I'd have been none the wiser. Instead, you chose to be honest." Honesty that Satan appreciates.

He tilts his head a bit, his expression a mixture of curiosity and thoughtfulness, reminiscent of a cat. "Just because you didn't introduce yourself as a princess doesn't mean you lied. At worst, it's a lie of omission, but I didn't need to know you were a princess to appreciate you for who you are."

Leaning his cheek against a propped up hand, he watches her intently. "What else is on your mind?" His question is uttered softly, an invitation to talk about her concerns about the pact or about anything else that might be on her mind.

[multidisciplinary]

Satan is right; Zelda can mince words, but at the heart of it, she has always been honest with Satan about who she is. And over the year they have been in Songerein, he has helped her to understand that who she is isn't just her title. It's one of the reasons why she's so confident about entering this pact with him.

Zelda makes a thoughtful noise as she muses over what other questions she has.

"Well, I would like to know what the process will be. I assume there will be some manner of spell or incantation, or something like that."