songerein | fifteenth shot ⊗ closed log

[She isn't sure why, but hearing all of that... it makes her feel better. She didn't doubt him for a moment, but knowing that Eustace understands how she feels, knows what it's like to love so deeply that it could be twisted and taken advantage of like that... it's distressing, but if there is anyone who knows her best, it's him.

Slowly, inch by inch, Tifa's body continues to relax against his, and while tears continue to cloud him in her vision, she looks less distraught and lost and more... relieved. Relieved that he couldn't and doesn't hate her for what she's done or hate her for loving him too much. That he won't run away after what he saw, and rather, he finds more reasons to stay by her side. She's always been afraid of being alone again, of going back to having no one, but that fear of him running away had hit her so severely when she realized what had happened—more so than she's ever felt it before.]

I love you...

[Her voice still shakes as she says it, but it's with that overwhelming emotion as she continues to drown in his eyes before she falls against him again, letting everything that's been gripping her body go. This time, she seeks his embrace, his warmth, almost desperately so, her face burying into the crook of his neck.]

I just... [Her voice is muffled against his shoulder.] I just don't ever want to lose you...

[At the end of the day, at her core, that is what Tifa fears the most. The one thing that she holds onto.]

Sometimes, I do... I do want you to myself, but...

[Why are these words suddenly so difficult for her to say? Her heart twists and knots, making the words lodge in her throat instead in between hiccups.]

...only because I'm happiest when we're...together...

[She nuzzles closer.]

Does that make us bad people?

[The doubt is starting to bubble underneath, but she's trying to understand and puzzle out what all of this means. Is that so selfish to want sometimes?]

If it does, then we can be bad together.

[He doesn't care. He's never cared what people thought of him before, why would he care of what they thought of him and his relationship with Tifa now?]

Sometimes...I do wonder if I'm feeling too much for you, or if we're dependant on each other too much. [A small, self-deprecating smile.] We already know the depths I would go if I ever lost you again.

[Really, he's already turned noctaere. Tifa has nothing to worry about in terms of feeling too much for him.]

Moderation might be better... However, given our circumstances and everything we've been through, it's only natural that it's become like this. And I do not regret nor think badly of it. If either of us did cross over the line, we would stop each other.

And...even if you did want to lock me up in a cage... I wouldn't refuse.

[His voice lowers as he gently tilts her head back up to look at him. His expression is still soft and gentle, but there is a shadow, a hint of that dark heat that lingers in his eyes.]

I'd keep you with me.

[Hasn't he already shown that? She tried to bind him, but he also tried to bind her in return. Is it right or healthy, well, no. But they're talking about extremes here, those in the heated moments. Of when the depths of their feelings are laid bare and their deepest, darkest desires surface. As long as it just keeps to that, then he doesn't see a problem.]

Edited 2023-03-08 16:00 (UTC)

[Moderation... in love? That's like asking her not to breathe, and even now, she feels it swelling in her heart, filling it up to its brim until it's spilling over after it had been emptied out by that thing.

And the way he lifts her gaze to his to show her that look in his eyes, there's a new heat that boils beneath the surface. Is it too much, the way he makes her feel? If it is, then... she doesn't want to settle for too little. After all the circumstances leading up to now and how this world had shaped their relationship, she feels like they deserve the kind of intense, passionate love that they've found with each other. He makes her happy, he makes her feel things that no one else has ever made her feel, and it's something that could never be properly conveyed with words.

So, actions speak for them.

There's nothing wrong with that, right...?

And right now, she finds herself stuck in that very place, completely captivated by that fire that flickers in his eyes, even still... even after all that she's done to him today.]

Maybe we are...

[Maybe they depend on each other too much. Maybe they are too attached. Maybe their need to protect each other is too great... but she can't stop it. If that makes her weaker than it does stronger, then so be it.

Her hand, still trembling slightly, comes up to brush his hair back, and to caress the side of his face, and those starflowers that withered away slowly begin to return to life, the black, charred petals falling off so that new, white ones can bloom...]

But I don't want to change anything. I don't want to feel different, or less...

...

Even if that thing took it too far.

[He leans into her touch eyes closing briefly in some relief, knowing that she's starting to relax more.]

Good... [As his eyes slowly open, he holds her hand in his, tilting his face slightly so that his lips can lightly press against her palm.] I didn't want to change anything, either.

[If she had truly become afraid of what happened... He would have made the extra effort to restrain his own possessiveness. It would have been difficult, but he would have done it. However, he would rather be able to fully express himself to her, be able to capture and hold her to him as much as he has and more.

More of those starflowers bloom around them, the ones spurred by his own love stronger and quickly filling the cave as if to make themselves known and prove a point. They are their normal blueish white, but there is a deeper shade at their centers.]

[She's not sure that she could ever bring herself to feel less. Even if he wanted her to, even if she tried, it's impossible. Not when every moment they spend together only makes her love him more, and during times like this where the strength of their relationship is put to the test, they have only ever come out of it more impassioned, more loved than they had when they started.

She's still scared... terrified of what she had done, her hands still shaking as he presses reassuring kisses into her palm, but every moment, she becomes a little less so.

Especially when she knows that he wouldn't change anything, either.

This is what they both want.

Knowing that, Tifa leans up to him... closer... but she finds herself hesitating once more as soon as her lips brush against his, and as her body relaxes a little further in his arms, that sob that she'd been holding in all this time breaks loose.]

... I'm sorry.

[It bears repeating again and again, a thousand times, until she has no more voice to say it.]

Can we... stay here for a while...?

[His eyes tremble for a moment when he hears her apologizing again. Sees her breaking into that sob while still seeking and clinging to him.]

Of course.

[Although he continues to feel shaken, he only tighten his hold her around her, his voice steadier than he feels. If he could tear that thing apart all over again he would. A thousand times. Yet he knows what Tifa needs his steadiness and strength, his warmth and comfort. And feeling her skin chilling from the cooler air that had settled into the air, he readjust himself so that she could fold more completely against him.

Without their clothes.... Hm. His eyes drift to the flowers, that mottled mix of fully bloomed and those still struggling through the charred, ashen remains.]

...Wait a moment.

[Holding her close, he concentrates on his dreamotion and there will be a strong gale of wind that sweeps through the cave. It carries and pushes out the remnants of before. Although some still clings to the walls and floor, it mostly clears out, leaving only the flowers that continue to slowly bud and quietly bloom around them. At least now they are not surrounded by such carnage.

As the wind settles, he then reaches a hand out towards the flowers Tha have bloomed around them. Again with dreamotion, the stems and leaves rope together and soon he can pull it up to reveal a small but serviceable blanket of flowers that he pulls up around her.]

It's not much... But it should do for now.

[The moment she's able to, she settles more against him, finding that spot in his lap that she always fits so perfectly into, and she exhales with an unsteady breath as his warmth finally fully envelops her.

She is a bit surprised by the sudden wind and Tifa shields herself, hiding against him as it blows the remains of the blackened flowers past them and clearing them out, but on that wind, it carries the familiar sweet scent of starflowers as it leaves behind the ones that are freshly bloomed, their silky petals sparkling as they rustle in that breeze.

But what's even more remarkable is the blanket of flowers that have been weaved together that he pulls up over them, draping it over Tifa's shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm. Really, all she needed was him, but they shimmer like stars in the reflection of her eyes as she stares at him in awe of what he's just done.

What he continues to do for her.]

... It's perfect.

[So perfect that she could cry all over again with how sweet the gesture is, as she curls up, wrapped in him and a manifested expression of their love for one another.

Except that this moment could use a little more.

With her own sweep of dreamotion over the cave floor, more and more of their flowers bloom all around them to create a bed. Although, while most are the shade of their pure, pastel blue, there are red ones speckled among them that surprise—and alarm—her.

Her eyes land on one, and she suddenly stiffens.]

[With soft, somber eyes he smiles a little as she accepts his small gift and more flowers bloom around them. The warmth from before slowly starts to return, the sweet scent of the flowers soothing. But when he feels her stiffen, he immediately snaps to attention and looks at her.]

What's wrong?

[...

She doesn't say anything at first. Instead, she slowly reaches out from beneath the flowery blanket and plucks one of the red starflowers from the bunch to show Eustace. The petals are a deep red that bleeds nearly to the tips, but at the ends, it all fades into the whitest white glow.

Tifa stares into its center, at the same crimson hue that had coloured them earlier when she pushed past that line, when she had been infected... and she frowns down at it.

Are these flowers trying to tell her something? That maybe she should simply accept that those things that she felt are just a part of her, too, just like they are for him?

More importantly...

Tifa offers it to him wordlessly.

... Will he accept it?]

[He starts to worry if there is something else happening or something he missed, but when she holds up the flower...

...

Seeing the red center, he just looks at it for a moment before gently taking it from her.]

...Did you forget what I told you before?

[On that night after the masquerade.... Maybe she had already been infected, maybe not, but...

He twirls the flower from its stem before he brushes it against her lips—just like he did then.]

I like this color.

[He knows what it means. Knows it's a reflection of her own colors. But that's why he likes it. Likes knowing how deep her feelings are for him, that want and desire so perfectly reflected.

He lowers his face as he then tucks the flower behind her ear, again the same way he did that night.]

I want to see it more often.

[This time his words have a different inflection. A concrete desire than just a wistful one.

She may still be afraid, and that's all right. But he is making it clear that he is not... Nor ever will be. That he will always accept and even want that side of her.]

[She does remember, and as he brings it up to run its petals along her lips, her eyes flutter closed. Whether she had been infected or not, it no longer matters because she knows they speak the truth. This isn't the first time that they have seen this shade, though has it ever been so vibrantly red before now, and tipped in white? This world has a funny way of showing all of their truest colours, and she wonders what these ones might mean together...

Her eyes only open after he slips the flower behind her ear... just like he did that night, and they meet his, catching that very real, definitive faith and longing in those words, and in his voice.

Without a word, she leans up to kiss him instead, the blanket gently rustling away from her shoulder as she brings a hand to rest on his cheek, her nails running the gentlest lines over his skin as she presses her lips lightly to his.

Slowly, Tifa does what she had meant to do when she'd brought those flowers to life and pulls him down with her, the petals stirring softly as they fall side by side over them, their stems growing so long that they grow high above them, helping to shield them from the breeze that's whispering through the cave.]

... Did you... [Tifa pauses when she feels her face beginning to heat up with colour.] ... Did you like any of that?

[Although she had been under a spell, she remembers it all so, so clearly... the things that they had done. That she had done. She does feel ashamed about it, shy, embarrassed, but there's something about the way he's been looking at her that suggests that maybe...

Maybe he did...?]

[His eyes close at the kiss, his own lips gently brushing and pressing hers in return as the hand that had been by her ear moves to thread through her hair and rest against the back of her head. And as he falls alongside her, letting her pull him down, he feels a lot of that weight from earlier falling away with them.

Sensing her shyness, he can't help but arch a brow before he smiles, teasing her.]

You couldn't tell?

[His other arm slowly glides up her back along her spine.]

I liked it quite a bit... Though you pushed it a little too far back there. I only have so much patience.

[She shudders, and although she's warm, his finger along her back raises goosebumps all over her skin, forcing her to curl up tighter beside him, and for the first time in what feels like so, so long, she huffs with a genuine laugh. Not a scoff, not a wicked tease, but a loving, if not incredibly embarrassed, laugh.

She did push him a little too far, didn't she? Even if it had all been because of that curse or whatever they want to call it...]

I've... always wanted to try that.

[Can he even hear her at this rate, with how far she's hiding?

Deep down, there had always been that small kindling of desire to want to try to be the one to take control. She's just never had the confidence to do it when she's in her right mind, so it's a little unbelievable to think that she had done all of that when she was no longer shackled by those chains...]

[He's going to continue teasing her, but he keeps it light and playful.]

Try...what exactly?

[Oh yes. He's going to make her say it.]

[...

Is he seriously...?

Tifa shakes her head and practically squishes her face into his chest now. So close that he'll be able to feel the heat radiating off of her now.]

You know what I mean.

[Are there any more of the flowers that she can weave into a blanket? Or better yet, a pillow to hide behind?]

That.

[Nope just himself.]

You did a lot of different things... You need to be specific.

[He really is going to make her say it, isn't he? Once a devious wolf, always a devious wolf...

But he is her devious wolf.

There's a sound that comes from the back of her throat that sounds a lot like a sigh, and the air buzzes around her so much that the flowers have started to quiver in the heat that she's giving off.]

I...

[Shiva save her...]

I've always wanted to...

[Can she do this? She doesn't think she can do this, and she's already feeling the words starting to tangle on the tip of her tongue.]

...see what it might be like to...be in control...

Hmmm....

[He is not going to go on easy on her at all.]

And...? Did you like it?

[Tifa lifts her face from his chest then, his question actually provoking something in her.

Despite her fears, her worries that she had ruined things for them, her shame for having gone so far and fallen to that thing's whims so quickly—fallen to her own so quickly... there was a thrill to it, too. Seeing him like that beneath her had awakened something new in her that she never thought possible, and she understood then why he likes it so much.

She looks him straight in his eyes, her cheeks burning with a rosy colour.]

I... I think I did...

[As long as he liked it too, of course.]

[Just a low, deep chuckle as he brushes his lips over the tip of her nose.]

I think you did, too.

[A mischievous gleam in his eye as continues to probe her further.]

You were very into it... And I thought it very captivating... [His lips bright against hers.] ...Provocative. [A light nip before he moves to her ear.] Erotic.

[A low whisper as his hands move more suggestively up to her chest and hips.]

You truly seemed like a queen whom I was more than willing to serve whatever desire...whatever need she had.

Edited 2023-03-08 22:20 (UTC)

[Tifa melts further and further, every touch of his helping to chase away whatever tension she's still carrying in her, but it's his words that make the temperature spike around them, or rather, in her. The tingling in the air, that buzz of heat grows more intense, and the steam slowly starts to build up into a cloud that surrounds them...

...

And Tifa feels like she might burst with how hot her face has become.

Yes, she liked it, and so did he, but does he need to say it like that!?]

I... [Her voice is trembling again, but for a different reason now. She pauses to try to come up with an excuse, a reason for why she had done it all, but nothing comes.] I didn't know if I would be... If I could do something like that... Or if you would...

[Yes he does. He'll just call it "exposure therapy."]

I think you've proven yourself well. But if you ever want to try again...

[And he just smirks before he gives her a playful little nip on the ear before pulling back his eyes gleaming both with that unbridled desire but also a more lighthearted gaze. Yes he's being a scoundrel, but he really is just teasing her, trying to help ease and coax away those insecurities, reassure her that her negative thoughts are unfounded. Of course he also knows that it will take some time.]

[Those insecurities are her biggest obstacle right now, and as much as she's blushing, she's also wondering if she has the confidence to do something like that again... in her right mind. Without the influence of something pushing her past the brink into a very real possessiveness, rather than just the playful one that she imagined...

But she doesn't want to let today sully what could be, and his encouragement only makes her think about it more.

She wiggles a bit in his arms when he nips at her ear and shuffles a little closer when he pulls back, that look in his eyes only making this nervous tingle inside her harder to ignore.]

I... wouldn't mind...

[Her voice is so small as she slides her arms around him, but now it's her turn to add that slightly playful ring to it.]

But you have to let me...

Hmm..... Let is a little difficult... It's more fun if you try to persuade me... Or order me to.

[Of course even then he's a difficult, rebellious wolf.]

[It does still feel a little strange to be talking about it like this, like how it had all been perfectly normal when it hadn't been, but maybe it's better that they do. Maybe she really should try to embrace those feelings and desires rather than try to run away from them, scared that they mean something worse.

He seems to be embracing it fully, encouraging it, so...

Now she looks at him with a dubious arch of her brow, and there's another drawn out pause as she tries to muster up the courage to say it. His "bindings."]

... I did. But then you burned the vines away.

fifteenth shot ⊗ closed log

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