tifa lockhart. (
starshower) wrote in
songerein2022-01-02 09:38 am
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Entry tags:
open 🌠you see the shadows
Who: Tifa Lockhart & you!
Which: Open log + interactive dream
Where: Around Reverein, Mount Nibel
What: Mount Nibel Incident dream, and a couple of dream board postings.
Warnings: N/A for now
✨ i. "the day mom died..." — interactive dream
✨ ii. freeloading reindeer
✨ iii. new year's noctaere
✨ iv. wildcard
Which: Open log + interactive dream
Where: Around Reverein, Mount Nibel
What: Mount Nibel Incident dream, and a couple of dream board postings.
Warnings: N/A for now
✨ i. "the day mom died..." — interactive dream
[There's a winding, rocky path overlooking the town of Nibelheim below, but where it should be clear, the mountain the path leads up is shrouded in a fog that only grows thicker with each passing moment, with what the eyes can see morphing and twisting in and out of view, almost as if the entire landscape isn't sure what it should be. There's an unshakable sound of static in the air, and a rumbling underfoot that isn't too threatening, but it's noticeable enough that it makes itself known.
On one ledge of the path up the mountain are four children. Three boys, whose faces fade in and out of clarity, and a girl with long, dark-brown hair, all looking up at the mountain as they talk, but their words are cut out by the static.]
"Mt. Nibel is scary. Many people have—there."
"—one crosses that—alive."
[The girl turns to face them all, revealing a much younger Tifa, not a day older than nine-years.]
"How about—died? Did—pass through—?" [Tifa wanders past the boys watching her, up the path.] "I'm—"
[Two boys follow while one runs the other way, threatening to bump into any dreamwalkers as he rushes back in the direction of the town. If Tifa is followed, they'll reach a bridge that she crosses fearlessly and without a word, but like the rest of the mountain, it fades in and out of view as well. There, the two boys who remain rush off, leaving Tifa to venture up the rest of the mountain alone.
...
But they stop upon seeing someone new. Someone who might be able to help?]
"Please, you have to stop her! It's dangerous up there! We're going to go back down and get Mister Lockhart."
[And off they go together without another word.]
** ( ooc: Because Tifa doesn't remember this event in full, I fully encourage anyone to have your character influence the setting as much or as little as you'd like! )
✨ ii. freeloading reindeer
[Having done some work on the communal gardens already, Tifa's grown handy with a hammer and nails. Not that she wasn't already proficient enough, but there's a difference between fixer-uppers around a bar that she knew like the back of her hand and building wooden flowerbeds and fences, and the latter has allowed her to at least learn some proper techniques in woodworking. Hell, she's even started learning how to sand and polish, so something like this should be a piece of cake.]
There. I think that's the last of it.
[She'd been hauling wood around all morning, the large planks thrown over her shoulder before she sets them down out in the middle of the farm where there's plenty of room to build out. It's nothing but a pile of wood and a bag of tools, and whoever else has come all the way out here with her, and around them, the reindeer will be grazing and curiously watching from afar, still not sure if it's safe to approach.]
So, it was a new stable for them and a fence, right? Gotta say, biggest thing I've ever built was a flowerbed so this'll be new to me.
✨ iii. new year's noctaere
[It is a little terrifying going up against the Noctaere, especially when she knows little of what to expect upon entering the dreamscape, but Tifa was never one to sit back or sit still for very long. Not when there were threats that needed to be taken care of. She might not be the most experienced partner in the dreamscapes, with her skills in dreamotion magic leaving plenty to be desired, but she can pack a punch when needed, and it has come in helpful in a lot of cases.
That isn't to say she's completely useless at magic, but she'd prefer to let her fists and feet do the talking if it came down to it. Which it will.
And just before stumbling into the dreamscape, she looks over to whoever has volunteered for the job with her, and gives a firm nod.]
You ready?
** ( ooc: if you have a preference for the dreamscape, then please let me know in the subject line! Otherwise, I'll randomize which one we end up getting! )
✨ iv. wildcard
[None of these prompts work? You know the wildcard drill! Feel free to leave something else below, or contact me via PM or @crystariums if you'd like to plot out something! Tifa can be frequently found at the communal gardens, at the edges of the forest training, and just in general wandering around Reverein, so she's easy to bump into. Also okay with any of the dream board postings!]
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In some ways. ...I can't say I acted with wholly pure intentions and you were more vulnerable and emotionally compromised. I should have had better control of myself.
[Even though he did genuinely want to comfort her, there were so many different ways he could have done so. Ways that would have been more "chaste" and not devolve in them completely losing themselves. At the same time it hadn't been wholly physical—there was a fair bit of emotion that transferred between them, unspoken messages that hint at their true wants that they still can't bring themselves so say.]
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Their fault for what, though? At the time, he seemed so sure that he wanted it, and she was certain she did too, so why is she suddenly thinking like this?
Of all the things to come out of that, it shouldn't be this.]
You didn't do anything wrong.
[Neither of them did... or so she'll try telling herself.]
I...
[Wanted it, too. That small part of her that held her gaze on him whenever he wandered too close, or that had her linger in his presence a little too long... That part had seen and felt something with him. It was at the tree, when he couldn't place her, and when he started to disappear right before her eyes... It was then that she realized that he had become someone special...
But she can't say that, can she? Because did this even mean anything? Through all the emotions that they exchanged tonight, can they say that it was anything more than just two people seeking comfort in each other?
It's probably better this way.
She breaks off the thought with a shake of her head, and rolls away from him, her head falling back against the pillow instead of his shoulder. Tifa feels as if she's imposing on him again, pressing further than she needs to.]
Me too. Both of us... but... [He's so much better with words than she is right now.] I know I was vulnerable, and there were a lot of emotions, but I think we both knew what we were getting into.
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She thinks he's so great with words, but really he doesn't know how much he should say. How much he should tell her. If he should ever tell her. In the end he just resigns to himself and stays where he is.]
But I don't think we were ready for it.
["It." "This." Whatever the hell "this" is now.]
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I guess not, but we did...
[Her voice is even and quiet.
Whatever "this" is, she can't say it was ever going to be something they would have been ready for, or if they would have even pursued under any other circumstance or later down the line, so how could either of them have ever prepared themselves for something they didn't know was coming?
She asks this as if they had no control over themselves. They knew exactly what they were doing and did it anyway.
Which begs the question...]
Eustace. Do you...
[No. That's not right.
Now she shifts to turn to her other side, her back facing him.]
Did that mean anything to you?
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Did it mean anything to him?
And if it did, what?
Does he know the answer? No—does he want to admit it?
There's a long stretch of silence before he slowly starts speaking, each word carefully measured, and quiet.]
...For a while now... I've been wrestling with how I've been thinking...and feeling towards you. Especially after what happened at the lake, the thought of losing you...
[The more he speaks, the more he wavers. Things he had intended to keep closed are trying to pry themselves out. He could still keep the lid on it, but... Seeing her back, feeling that distance.
He hates it.
He doesn't know what he wants from her, from them, but he knows this much. He doesn't want that gap to widen.]
Even now I'm still trying to wrestle with it, so I can't give you a clear answer. But I can tell you this.
[Eustace finally shifts closer to her, his hand reaching out take her shoulder and pull her back to him so that she can face him. As she turns, that dark cloud will start to clear, a few of those twinkling lights returning. It's not completely gone, the uncertainty a looming shadow, but she can at least now see the sincerity in his eyes.]
It wasn't empty. Being with you... [He falters for a moment, as if trying to find the words.] It's genuine. Even if I sometimes think it would be better if I keep my distance, I can't.
[...Annnnnd now he feels a little embarrassed. Isn't this almost similar to a confession??? He ends up withdrawing a bit and muttering under his breath.]
What am I saying...
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That was all she needed to know—that this night wasn't wasted on something hollow and superficial. That their actions did have some meaning, even if neither of them can figure that out.
And when he turns her over to face him again, he'll be able to see her eyes glisten again with tears underneath those sparkling lights. It's complicated, and she hopes he doesn't ask what they mean. Having to explain to him the amount of relief and shame she feels right now wouldn't come easily, and she has faith that she would only make it messier in trying, but as much as she wants to turn away from him and refuse Eustace the opportunity to ask, her eyes lock onto his upon seeing the weight of his words within them.
Which is why it's almost a relief when he shrinks back.]
Me too...
[It didn't mean nothing to her, either. She has her doubts, and reasons for thinking that this could never work, but what happened tonight—it wasn't all for nothing. She felt the gravity of it, those emotions she poured into him with every touch, and every kiss, and it was more profound than she imagined it would be when she made that move towards him.
She loses her steadiness, and the next breath she lets out is shaky as she pulls the sheets up closer to her face.]
Why's it always you... [She repeats the words again, laughing quietly to herself at how much truth there is to them, especially now.] You're always there when I'm in trouble. Always there to help fix my problems, or get me out of a pinch. It was so much easier when it was just me...
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He doesn't realize how tense he had been until he first hears those two little words, and then it melts completely when she hides herself and laughs. His muscles relax so much he actually slumps forward, head hanging as his long bangs hide the slight smile that had unknowingly formed.]
I could say the same to you... As troublesome as you've been, I've caused you just as much grief.
[From the very first day they met, to that Halloween dreamscape, when he lost his memories, the box during Christmas— She's saved him as many times.
He slowly reaches out to touch a strand of her hair and pull it back, as if trying to reveal a little more of her face despite the sheet pulled over it. And then a question forms on his tongue, one he hesitates to ask. But it's been a question that's plagued his mind. That's made him think he needs to hold back.]
...Would you rather if I wasn't around? Or...it be someone else?
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[Her answer comes in a single breath, before he can finish asking his question.
The hair he pulls back only falls back over her eyes again, covering them as they blink back to the past, and more frustrations resurface. Different ones than what she felt coming out of the dream, but ones that she carried with her everywhere she went—even beyond the boundaries of a universe into another.
Memories of a blond-haired boy with bright blue-green eyes, who she missed more than she could put into words. It had been so long since she's seen him, and even when she had the chance to back in Camelot, she ran away from the idea of it for fear of what she might find—that he wouldn't be the Cloud that she remembered. Her Cloud.
In the process of all that running, she crashed into someone else.]
You know... [she begins, a hand reaching out to touch the side of his face, a smile warming her expression. It's a brief gesture, and it falls back to curl around the sheets again.] Back in that other world, we spent a lot of time together. We got into some weird situations, but never anything as bad, but you always had my back, just like you do here.
[When no one else did.]
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...
Truthfully he's not sure how to make of it, just like he was never sure what to make of her having memories of him in another world. Could he even think of himself as the same? So there's a slight disgruntled look as he considers the laughable idea of him getting annoyed of himself.]
So you're pulling me into trouble no matter what world we're in. Should have known.
[But then he wonders. Wonder if in that world they would have been on the same track or if things could have panned out differently. Of course neither of them knows and...really he doesn't care. He's here, not there, and the same is true for her.]
Just don't compare myself to the other one.
[...
Primals he really is getting jealous of himself what is wrong with him—]
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What do you mean, "the other one"? There's one you.
[He's the same person, through and through. Tifa might not have known him for very long back in Camelot, but in the time they did spend together, she's never been more sure of anything. That this Eustace and that Eustace are one in the same, with the only differences being their memories.
Although... she'd have to reconsider that... after tonight...
Still, her amusement remains, helping to lighten some of the heaviness that had lingered.]
You have nothing to worry about, I promise.
[If anything, shouldn't Camelot's Eustace be the jealous one?]
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if onlyHe still looks at her as if not convinced... But he also knows he's being stupid so he lets it go with a sigh, flopping down on the bed and rubbing his eyes.]
...You're the only one who can drive me this crazy and get hung up over useless things.
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I'm sorry.
[This is what it should be. Even if they are laying in bed next to each other, and a thousand other thoughts are running through their heads right now, this is what Tifa had wanted from the start. It feels just like how it had been back in Camelot, where she could so easily laugh in his presence, even when he was being a grouch over the most unimportant things.
How he'd frowned at her from across the bar when they made the decision to move elsewhere, mumbling all the way to that little animal café just down the road, and somehow, she managed to convince him to join her. And how he looked at her when she invited him to the movies... When she'd suggested the date to draw out that woman and how no amount of grumbling could change her mind.
It's how it should be.
Truly though, she is sorry. She never meant for this to happen... Everything leading up to tonight... Any of it.]
... I missed this.
[She says it so suddenly, after a short stretch of silence, but she doesn't backpedal, nor does she move away embarrassed. Instead, her eyes flicker up to him, watching him in the dim light.]
no subject
But just as he's settling back in, he hears those words and reflexively glances over at her. It's then that he realizes that they've relaxed and had fallen into more of a normal rhythm where they weren't so hyper aware of each other, not dancing around each other and trying to keep distance while at the same time wanting to be close.
So he stares at her for a moment before he rolls onto his side to face her.]
...It's been difficult.
[Being tossed in one direction and then another, hardly having any time to breathe.]
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I never liked it... how things always were.
[Just when they thought they could move past the last incident, they would just find themselves in a new one, and it was starting to become this unbreakable cycle. No matter how much she tried to pretend things were normal, that was always just out of her reach every time. They are both partly to blame for that, but how much of it can they put on them when it's this world that keeps finding new ways to keep them on their toes, so to speak?]
Promise me something?
[She turns on her side so that they're fully facing each other now, so she hopes he can sense the magnitude of her wish.]
That things will be normal tomorrow. We can figure the rest out, but we can't keep doing that.
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...It's hard to run away and ignore things now.
[A small exhale as he reaches over and pulls her to him.]
There are a lot of things we'll need to discuss, but... I'm tired, and I know this is what I want right now.
[Just. Holding her. Nothing more, nothing less. To feel her warmth against his, to know she'll be right there. Is this something he'll want more of the in future? ...Probably. And maybe they've already figured out that this is what they want. But this isn't the right time to decide, not with everything still raw and confusing.
And even if for some reason things don't work out, at least they had this chance. Chance to give in and be honest with each other. A chance to be selfish in their wants.]
no subject
And it feels... nice. To lie there next to him and just... be. She can't remember the last time she's felt like this, or if she ever has. It's different, but it's calming. Whatever comes of this tomorrow, she'll at least take this for what it is. She'll accept his comfort, and return it in kind, because in the end, that was what this was all about, right? Everything else was just a surprise.
She buries her face into his chest and closes her eyes, amazed at how quickly she feels the sleep come over her, even when she had been so afraid of it before. Even if the nightmares do come back, Tifa can sleep soundly knowing that he'll be there should she wake up in fear, or if she needs to be saved again. The same would go for him too, if it ever came to it, but she prays it never will.
No matter what happens, he'll be there in the morning, and nothing will change this time.
Her arms slide around him and squeeze.]
Thanks again, Eustace... for getting me out of there.
[And before she can say goodnight, she dozes off into the deepest, dreamless sleep she's had in a while that it feels like a blink before sunrise.
...
Is that... barking?]
no subject
Always.
[He's always been loyal, but when it comes to her, he feels it even more strongly. So strong that he can't help but hold her a little tighter as she drifts to sleep, and it's not long after that he follows.
And he would be the first to rustle awake as the barking grows louder before he feels something wet and cold touch the back of his shoulders. It's enough to make him jerk slightly and then click his tongue when he remembers he has Tifa in his arms.]
...Dammit I should have locked the door...
[But it's too late. The bed is surrounded with some hopping up to Tifa's side to bark oh so happily and hungrily while nudging her. One is even going to jump onto the end of the bed, not caring that it's already full enough as it is.
Are they not even going to have a sweet morning cuddle???]
no subject
The barking isn't what wakes her up, nor is it Eustace stirring, but something warm and wet at her ear, and then on her face, and over her nose—
She swats at it, but the dog just comes right back with double the enthusiasm until Tifa finally opens her eyes and lifts her head to see what's going on... Only to find several corgis staring down at her and Eustace. She's so sleepy that it takes her a moment to fully realize what's happening, and by then, most of the dogs have hopped up that they're surrounded and crowded.
So crowded that Tifa has no choice but to shift closer to Eustace, and she wipes the slobber from her face.]
Is this what they do for breakfast every morning?
[Or did they just sleep in so late that they got impatient?]
no subject
[A low grumble as he holds Tifa closer to him, as if not wanting to share her with the dogs, before he swats at them.]
Enough, already! We get it! Cadoc, get 'em out of here.
[Of the two or three not on the bed, the one that had stayed by the door and just kind of side eyeing everything stands and gives a sharp bark. The dogs on the bed grumble and then hop off after another bark. They just want food! And to share love! Grumble whine as they slowly shuffle out.]
no subject
... Shouldn't we get them their food?
[How does it work in this household anyway? This is the first time she's been here before breakfast... for all of them. Should she get up and make some for them too?
Maybe a few more minutes, and her arms squeeze around him a little tighter again, the blush on her face more visible now that the sunrise and clear blue skies are filtering through the window. Part of it feels wrong to want to stay, and to be so close—she knows that after this, it'll be as if this never happened, and she should be fine with that. Neither of them agreed to anything... But that other, more selfish part doesn't want to let it go...]
no subject
...]
They can wait.
[He knows they should get up. Knows that their dream is over and need to face reality. Knows he needs to pull away now or it will be harder for them to figure things out.
Yet again he finds himself bucking reason and lingering instead, his hand going to her face to lightly touch it before he leans in closer.]
—One more time.
[This crazy— And he actually seems serious, the heat in the air already rising.]
no subject
But it's that realization that drags her out of it and back into their reality. The reality that what happened last night could very well have been not a mistake, but very closely dancing the line to being one. And she doesn't want to do it again... Not before they figure out where that line is drawn, and whether they should be crossing it or not.
Because there are still so, so many things that Tifa hasn't worked out for herself. Including her feelings.
So, she only presses a hand to the side of his face and combs her fingers through his hair with a smile lined with sadness.]
We should get up...
no subject
Later.
[He's leaning more over her now, his own hand caressing her face as closes the distance between them, a sudden strong desire of want and selfishness flaring up.
As he does, there's a strange darkness that falls over them. It's different from the dark cloud from earlier. It's as if night has fallen, the light from the windows completely swallowed by it. Although not overbearing, the way it envelops everything is almost ominous, as if trying to block everything out and keep them in.]
no subject
The closer he gets, the more she can feel that coil of anticipation winding up again. She can feel her heart racing, and all of that sleepiness that held her captive in bed is starting to wane, her senses and nerves stirring awake when he caresses her face like that.
But the darkness that crawls over them has her stomach turning over that she feels a pang of anxiety that flickers across her face, her eyes widening as she looks past him to the ceiling, and to the window, where she can no longer see the sun and instead, there's nothing but black. The dogs have started barking from the foot of the stairs, and that's when she presses a hand to his chest.]
Eustace...? What's going on?
no subject
It's then that he feels her hand press against his chest, and for a moment he considers ignoring it and to pull it away. But it's the sound of her voice, the tremor of uncertainty that makes him open his eyes to stare down at her... Except he can't. He can barely make out her features and his eyes widen in surprise as he sits up to look around them. The darkness lasts for a second more before it suddenly dissipates like an eerie fog, swirling around them—subtly around Eustace—before it disappears completely.]
...I don't know—what just happened?
[Did one of them do that? Did some strange magic? The tree? Unease fills him as he tries to figure it out but can't.]
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