songerein | closed ⚡🌠 you make my heart feel like it's summer

Entry tags:

closed ⚡🌠 you make my heart feel like it's summer

Who: Eustace & Tifa Lockhart.
Which: Closed log.
Where: Somewhere in the Wildlands.
What: Eustace and Tifa take some much-needed time away.
Warnings: The usual EusTifa warnings. They're gross. :)

[Hardly a week has gone by since their last stint in a dreamscape before they are finally seeing their plans to fruition. They'd briefly talked about it in the room the wolves had provided for them, and then again when they woke up from their dreams, and Tifa wasted no time in preparing for the few days that they promised to spend away from town. After everything that they had seen and been through—not just on the moon but everything that came before—they agreed that time for themselves would be good for both of them. Time away from the noise and chaos of the town, from the dogs, from responsibilities, from potential threats... Time to just exist together, to be, and breathe for a little while.

She spent the days leading up to their trip shopping and packing and making sure that she's found friends who could check in on both the corgis and flower dogs in their absence. It would only be two nights out in the Wildlands, but she wanted to be certain that they have everything they would need and covered all their bases for those few days. She's packed an assortment of meats, frozen for the trip, containers of fruits and vegetables, water, and some alcohol for the evenings—wine and a fine whiskey, perhaps a few others—anything that she thinks they might enjoy over a campfire. Of course, she can't forget the campfire snacks, either. She's never been out camping properly before, but she knows those are a must.

Meanwhile, Tifa left Eustace to worry about their gear. A tent most of all, but anything that they might equip it with as well. Blankets, sleeping bags, pillows, the works. Anything to make a fire that he thinks they'll need, tarps in the event that there's rain. She never quite knows what is and isn't necessary for a camping trip, especially in these parts, but it's best to be ready for any kind of weather with how finicky it can be sometimes, and she trusts that he'll know exactly what they'll need.

Thankfully, they've packed light and in such a way that it wouldn't be difficult to carry between the two of them, but of course, Eustace never goes unprepared, and when he goes all in on something, he tends to go above and beyond Tifa's expectations. When she wandered out of the house, she was surprised to find two horses waiting for them—one she recognized as the white mare from the night they rode to the flowery fields outside of Reverein, the blue flowers that were once smaller now grown and blooming large as they thread into her mane. The other, a large, magnificent black stallion with interesting markings over his body that she feels is almost too perfectly suited for Eustace. They beat their hooves gently on the ground in greeting, and Tifa reacquaints herself with the mare before they finally ride off on their backs towards the Wildlands.

They don't go far, sticking mostly to the northern forests closer to town, but it's far enough that they can no longer hear or even see Reverein through the thickness of the trees, and with the horses, the trek itself isn't very long. The lake isn't far either from where Eustace ends up leading her to, and she can hear the sound of water nearby—perhaps the river coming from the city? Although Eustace did mention knowing of some waterfalls, and the thought sends a warm thrill through her...

It's when they reach a light clearing surrounded by trees that she allows herself to stop, tugging on the mare's reins with a gasp so that she might take in the full sight of it. There are flowers everywhere, and the afternoon sun peers through the canopies of trees overhead to bask it in an almost magical glow. Through the bushes, there's a winding path that, judging from the trickling sounds, leads down a small hill to some manner of body of water.

It like it's straight out of a fairy tale picture book.]

... Is this it?

[It must be... It's the most stunning place she's ever seen, and she's a touch overwhelmed to come up with much more than that.]

It's beautiful.

[How did he even find this place? ... She's been asking that a lot with him, hasn't she? The field of flowers, the barn, and now this. He never ceases to surprise and amaze her and this time is no exception.

Consider Tifa completely blown away once again.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[A wry grin.]

No... But it has a good view up top.

[He then picks his way through a small brush that reveals a hidden path—or more accurately cleared path that will lead them all the way to the top of the waterfall and higher elevation of land. High enough to catch a view through the gaps of the lower trees to see the sunrise.]

[The trees are so thick and so tall here that she had begun to question whether her wish was even realistic, but he's met with surprise when he carries her down another path that she hadn't seen that night when they came down here, and then up, up, until they're on top of the waterfall, where the canopies of the trees no longer stretch over them but rather, beneath them. There are still some that obstruct the view, but not enough that she can't see how the beginnings of the sunrise are already splashing the horizon with colour.

The view up here all on its own is a breathtaking spectacle. The fireflies are still out, their little lights flickering above the water as it tumbles over the edge and down into their little secret pool below, and some of the flowers and bushes glow in gentle hues of yellow and pink.]

It's beautiful...

[Although she's looking straight at him as the words tumble out on a breath, and Tifa rewards him with a kiss. She urges him to set her down so that she can spread one of the blankets out on the flat, grassy area they find—one that looks out to the distance.

She sits, and pats the spot next to her.]

Told you that you always manage to surprise me. This is perfect...

[He just watches her with a soft smile and helps her in smoothing out the blanket and setting down the strawberries before sitting down beside her, an arm instantly going around her waist to pull her close to him.]

I thought you'd like it.

[Tifa wastes no time at all tucking herself close to him. She shifts so that she's settled between his legs where her back can rest flush against his chest so that they can both face the horizon together. It's still a little chilly, so she shakes out the spare blanket and pulls it over them and nestles in nice and comfortably into the immediate warmth, and beneath it, she clutches the moon around her neck.]

I like anywhere as long as it's with you.

[Her nose crinkles at the cheesiness, but it's true.]

I've seen a lot of sunrises since I left home, but this is the first that we... [She pauses, the words getting tangled suddenly on the tip of her tongue when her heart flutters so wildly that it leaps into her throat.] That we'll spend together as...

[And she's interrupted again by a laugh bubbling up in her chest, and her voice grows shy and tiny.]

... Husband and wife to-be.

[She still can't believe it actually happened.]

Edited (don't look at me or my html) 2022-07-22 02:40 (UTC)

[He settles in with her against him, chin immediately finding its home atop her head as he closes his eyes, enjoying her warmth and taking in her scent. So sweet and calming... Really, how could he want more than anything like this? To feel so...complete? The view and surroundings may be beautiful, but the one in his arms is all he really wants to pay attention to.

But at her words, his heart also flutters, an uncharacteristic ripple of awkwardness and embarrassment making him glad she can't see him. Strange since he's said the same and more...but there's something about hearing them from her own mouth and when they have much more clarity in their thoughts that just...really sinks it all in. That it's not just general what if's or assumptions. It's all real. This is the path they're taking.

And he's happy for it.]

...Mm.

[There's a soft smile as his arms tighten around her, his face lowering to lightly nuzzle and kiss the side of her head before descending to her cheek so that he can see her better.]

And then there will be the one when we're husband and wife.

[No "to-be's." No conditionals or qualifiers or technicalities. It will be official.

His voice lowers as his lips brush against her skin.]

...I'll be looking forward to that one the most...

[She leans into his kisses, the words making her heart flutter and burn for him. One day, soon, he will be her husband. She had repeated those words time and time again, out loud and in her head, the night before, and even with this clarity, it still feels so surreal that she's still having a hard time really believing it. It will be another little while before it actually sinks in...

Perhaps it never will... Not until they watch that sunrise together.]

Me too. We gotta make sure we see it.

[Though, will they leave the place wherever they are the night following the wedding?

Tifa's arm briefly peeks out from beneath the blanket, reaching for the container of strawberries and pops it open. She offers one back to him, lifting it to his lips.

And as she looks off to the horizon, she can see the tops of the trees stretching far off to the peaks of mountains and hills, and it sets off a spark of nostalgia within her, and she wraps herself a little tighter in Eustace's arms. The way the stars stretch over the skies, the nebulous colours being slowly chased away by the beginnings of the sunrise remind her of another place...]

This almost looks a little like Nibelheim, where I grew up.

[He'll take that strawberry, carefully biting into it before he does the same for her, gently pressing it against her lips.]

...That was your home town in your dream, wasn't it?

[He asks this slowly and carefully, as he knows that like him, while there are good memories there are also strikingly painful ones.]

[Tifa smiles and sinks her teeth into the tart fruit, the juices immediately splashing across her tongue when she takes it from his fingers.

And she eats it slowly, nodding to his question, but she can hear the trepidation in his voice. That knowledge that the memories of her home still weigh deeply on her, years and years later. But it doesn't bother her as much when it's him asking...

He had seen the worst of it first hand, too.]

Yeah, it was.

[Belatedly, she realizes that she still hasn't talked much about it with him since then. With anyone, for that matter.]

... It felt like the stars stretched on forever out there, in the quiet.

[There's the sounds of the waterfall and the breeze rustling the leaves, but there is a powerful stillness that comes with nature as pure and untouched as this.]

It always made me feel a little small. [She laughs.] Even smaller now, knowing what's out there.

[A small nod.]

...It was the same for me, too, in my village.

[Just vasts forests, tall mountains, open fields of snow, and endless skies...

He then hums a little, the same thought occurring to him.]

I never really asked you since I'm not really one to pry...but come to think of it, you know more about me than I know about you.

[A wry grin as he pulls out another strawberry.]

Think I deserve to know a little more about my bride-to-be.

[He'll feel her tense inside his arms—only slightly, but enough that it makes even Tifa wince when she feels her fingers twitch.

She's silent as she chews on her strawberry, and there's an odd, sudden, sinking feeling in her stomach. Not because he asked, but because it's true. He's told her... no, shown her pieces of his life before this place. He trusted her with it. And yet, here she is, never having shared enough with him. It's not that she doesn't trust him enough to explain, but... she'd be lying if she said she wasn't afraid of what he might think when she did.

But she is his bride-to-be. Bride-to-be... the words ring in her head like a pleasant little bell, like windchimes on a summer's day, and that warmth chases away that cold feeling, and it makes it so damn difficult to say no to him.]

I guess I do...

[There's a light tremble to her voice—barely there, but if anyone could catch it, it's him.]

What exactly do you want to know?

[He does catch it, even half-expects it. He had guessed that there were things she might not want to talk about, and while he could think of all sorts of questions... He doesn't want her to be uncomfortable. So instead of answering right away, he's silent for a moment before he lightly strokes her arms.]

It doesn't really matter—whatever you've done, I've accepted it. I only care about what I see with my own eyes.

[It's not like he has a shining record, having done questionable things and had an attitude that no one would have liked in his past. He's also encountered and dealt with individuals with unsavory pasts, even became friends with a hated enemy. Whatever's on her rap sheet, he can take it.]

But I am curious about what you were doing before you were taken to Avalon. About the your friends, what your life was like.

["I've accepted it."

How she's longed to hear those words, and Tifa doesn't realize just how much until he says them. But even then, there's a sense of trepidation that still keeps her stiff, even as his hands run over her arms to comfort her. She knows that the things she's done are terrible and no amount of kindness will ever undo what they've done, but none of it matters here, does it? None of it matters in the life she's chosen to live here with him.]

Guess you aren't really looking for the "I ran a bar for two years" sort of thing, are you? [She shakes her head and answers her own question before he even can.] We both know there's more...

[Because that would be the easy way out of this... but no, even Tifa thinks he deserves more than that, but it's all a matter of where to begin. But first...

She shifts in his lap, not moving very far, but only so that she can face him and look him in the eyes, because what she's about to say next is more important than any sunrise.]

Please don't think less of me for what I'm going to tell you...

I won't.

[The answer is immediate and resolute, just like the gaze he holds for her now. And as he suspected, something must have happened in her world. Something that she's afraid will make him change his opinion of her.

If she were to admit she was some kind of psychotic mass murderer then maybe he'll have some pause. But he can't see that in her. Whatever she did, there's bound to be a reason. And knowing how he she is...he has faith in that reason, no matter what happened. Faith in her.]

[Her hand finds his face to rest against his cheek, and she smiles. It's small, genuine, adoring, but it's laced with worry before she lets it fall away. He's so, so good to her that even as his firm answer gives no room for any doubt, there is still that little twinge of fear in the back of her heart that wishes to keep it all her best-kept secret, because that fear of losing him eclipses everything else.

Tifa slides back into his arms, tucking right into the spot she was in before in his lap, and she looks out to the horizon again, watching as the sun beneath it begins to paint the navy-blue sky with pinks and oranges. She's silent for a little while longer, trying to find the best way to tell him, and where to start.]

Have I ever told you about Shinra? Mako, the Planet, all that?

[She can hardly remember all of the things that she's told him over time, but she goes on to explain anyway.]

Mako... it's the life of the Planet. It's what makes the trees grow and flowers bloom... Boundless energy.

[She recalls the VR simulation in the Shinra building that explained it all...]

Shinra... they were stealing that from the Planet to turn it into power. And materia. [While she isn't wearing her gloves, she lifts a wrist to motion to it, her fingers wrapping around where her leather gloves hold the glowing glass balls inside of them when she does have them on.] So, what do you get when you take the lifeblood of the Planet away from it...? A dying Planet.

... Do you remember in that dream? When you were there with me in Nibelheim?

[He quietly listens, noting every key phrase while trying to recall what she might have told him before. Although she doesn't say much, it's enough for him to start getting an idea.]

There was...a reactor of some kind, wasn't there? [Ah.] Mako.

[At the time of the dream he had acted as if he understood, but in truth he had no idea. Now he tries to recall that dream, brows furrowing as the parts that stand out the most...were also the most harrowing.]

[She gives a small nod.]

Yeah. That big reactor up on the mountain was for the mako. The further up you went, the closer you got, everything just... died. All the trees, flowers, the grass... Gone because of them.

[Tifa's fingers curl around his arm, digging into his muscles as she tries to keep her anger at bay when she remembers that night.]

What you saw... everything that happened in that dream... that was all Shinra. Their men, their reactor. The man who gave me my scar? Who burned down the village? He was one of them. A SOLDIER, like... like Cloud.

[She wishes then, wishes so hard that she had something happier to tell him of her past. She had been happy up until that point. Tifa had a good childhood, a good relationship with her parents, and many friends, but it was everything after that that made Tifa who she is today... He deserves to know why.]

When I was taken to Midgar after that, it was hard... I was in a coma for... I don't know, a couple of weeks? By the time I woke up, I was so weak that I couldn't walk. Couldn't even stand for a long time. And I was in so much debt from the medical bills, and not a single gil to my name.

[Her voice starts to shake then, and her hands tremble under the blanket, and she doesn't realize how tightly she's holding onto him as she pauses, trying to steady herself.]

[He feels that tension clearly, not just physically, but emotionally as well. And he understands them so very much that whatever pain he feels, he endures. In fact he barely notices at all as he just stares down at the one he loves opening up to him to this painful past. He had seen and heard bits and pieces, but he knows. No matter how much time has passed, it's never easy.

So he just reaches up and brushes her hair and strokes her back, quietly letting her ground herself to him and letting her take whatever moments she needs.]

...That's when you learned those stretches...and the various jobs you had told me about before you eventually got the bar.

[He had remembered how he had been a little confused on how her career trajectory got that way, but now he understands a bit more of the chaos and struggle she had to go through.]

[The touch of his hand on her back and in her hair is comforting, and she shuts her eyes against it. She savours it, cherishes it, uses it to remind her that those struggles are over, and that they are why she is even here now... with him, waiting for the sunrise.]

You remembered...

[Of course he does. Of course he remembers every little thing she's ever told him about her. She isn't sure why she's so surprised by this.

Tifa looks back over her shoulder at him with a smile, as if to say I love you.]

It was all Shinra... [Her voice is steadier now, thanks to him, but that anger and that rage that has been simmering within her for five long years is still there at its edges.] They took my family, my home... My whole life. I lost it all because of them.

...

Anyway.

[She shakes her head. It's not exactly something she wants to rehash again. He's seen what happened to her and her hometown with his own eyes and talking about it only drudges up terrible memories.]

When I was working in Midgar, just before I bought the bar, I met some people. Some friends...

[And this is where she pauses, and she bites down on her lip. This is where it crosses the boundary into territory of things she's been too scared to tell him. To tell anyone.]

They called themselves Avalanche. They were an Anti-Shinra group. Wanted to protect the Planet. Take down the big bad power company that was sucking the mako right out of it.

[Tifa leans back against his chest.]

Could probably imagine what happened next.

[Just the faintest smile because yes. Of course he would remember.

But then his expression hardens as he listens, his hand never leaving its place as he continues to slowly and gently stroke her hair. It's all relatable, so it really isn't hard to reach the next conclusion.]

A rebel group.

[She nods, and something of a sharp sigh escapes her.]

I joined... I told them that I wanted to fight for the Planet, too. That I wanted to take down Shinra for what they were doing. So, we...

[...

.....

Tifa stiffens again, and there's more hesitation that buzzes around her, like an invisible barrier between them that's afraid but longing to be broken. But she takes his hand in hers, threading her fingers firmly in between his and holding on, like she intends to never let him go. That terror of him leaving her rears its head and sinks its claws in deep, and for a fleeting moment, she imagines the cold around her and him getting up and walking away...]

We... bombed the mako reactors around Midgar. All so we could get them to listen. We destroyed people's homes... their work... livelihood. Their whole lives... Innocent people who were just trying to make a living. We were branded terrorists. People were more scared of us than they were on our side, I think.

...

I wanted to believe my heart was in it, but... I don't think it ever was, and they could see that. I didn't even join to fight for the Planet, but...

[She moves again to face him, her fearful eyes desperately searching his face for a sign that he doesn't hate her or resent her for doing such terrible things. Some kind of reassurance that he understands her side, too...]

[To hear that she helped bomb the reactors... It's certainly beyond the scope he could have imagined. And yet, while some would feel a bit uneasy, he doesn't. He's already looking at it from her point of view and of the group she joined. He can't really make a full judgment call since he doesn't know everything, and he does initially think their methods sound more extreme than necessary.

But—]

It was in part for revenge.

[Revenge for what happened to her own home town.

His voice is quiet, contemplative...understanding.

If he were in her place, he would certainly had done something similar. He only joined the Society group in part because Ronan took him in, but it was mostly to find the Foe and take vengeance, to make sure no one else suffered like he had. As he got older the motives grew to be more emphatic, but he was certainly not altruistic like others. Helping people and preserve peace was something he wanted...but it was more for himself. To find his own peace.]

[He finishes the thought for her, and she should be relieved that he at least understood where she was going with it, and she can sense his compassion underlying his quiet voice, but her body betrays her relief and stiffens, as if waiting for him to say more.

But then he doesn't, and there's that sense of dread that settles within her, and Tifa ducks her gaze away.]

... You're not...

[Tifa loses the words for a moment, her voice getting caught somewhere in her throat that when she speaks again, it's tiny with stressed with worry.]

You're not mad, are you...?

[He stares at her with slightly arched brows before there's a soft expression as he leans down to lightly brush his lips against her forehead.]

...Without knowing everything I can't say I would support or oppose the methods... But no, I'm not mad or think less of you. If anything, if I were in your place and the Foe had been a more tangible organization like Shinra, then I likely would have done the same, if not similar.

[She remembers the name. Foe... Tifa remembers him telling her about them as they sat together in that bath, and he explained to her what he had done before they'd met. What happened to his home, who he was, what his motivations were...

It had been then that Tifa had realized that they weren’t so unlike one another in a lot of ways, but the same night when she had become afraid of what he might think of her if he ever knew about her own past. The night she became very aware that she cared a lot about what he thought of her...

And now it's all come to a head here, in this moment, and when he presses his lips to her forehead, she's overcome with the urge to fall against his chest and cry the tears of relief that have suddenly sprung in her eyes. She doesn't. Not yet, anyway.]

I was so afraid of telling you... You were the kind of person Shinra would have sent to deal with us... I thought about that. [Her fingers curl tighter around his hand, refusing to let him go.] If you and I had met back in Midgar, we might have been enemies...

[And she couldn't stand the thought every time it crossed her mind.]

[His eyes tremble for a moment at hearing how afraid she had been of him, and while he had realized it, it's only now he can really see how much it's weighed on her. Somehow he feels as if he hadn't made himself trustworthy enough, even if he also knows that what she's feeling is understandable and natural. Though somehow it also bothers him that she would think he would side with a corporation like that, let alone work with them. Of course, he doesn't know everything and who knows, maybe circumstances could have led to it. But even so...

With a displeased frown he looks down at her before he tips her chin up and kisses her fiercely on her lips. It's rough, his teeth biting her lower lip before he speaks against them.]

...Useless thoughts.

[His blue eyes pierce through hers as he stares into them with unshaking confidence.]

Do you really think I would stick around a group like that?

[His teeth nip her lips again.]

...Doesn't matter. No one has a clean record and we all make decisions based on our circumstances, rightly or wrongly. I only care about what I see in front of me.

[Cassius comes to mind, of how he firmly regarded the moondweller as an enemy only to later change his mind as he watched the man change and develop with the group. Change it to the point they became allies, perhaps, dare he say it, friends. Eustace himself doesn't have a spotless record and he had his own concerns that Tifa might look at him differently if she knew the lengths and heartlessness he went through for some of his missions. It was why he was forthright about it early on, but...isn't that how she came to her insecurities about telling her own truths to begin with?

With his hand still holding her in place, Eustace pulls back just enough so he can fully gaze into her eyes, so that she can see his whole expression. Though there's still traces of his annoyance, it's also earnest, that gentle warmth never wavering as he softens a little.]

The woman I fell in love with has always been honest with her heart, and that's all that matters.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject