[CLOSED] Learning to Live Together is Fun!

[lonelysmiles]

Who: Alastor and Angel Dust
Which: Log, CLOSED
Where: Alastor and Angel's treehouse (the knock-off Hazbin Hotel)
What: Catch-all log for August roommate shenanigans
Warnings: It's Alastor and Angel Dust. They are two demons from literal Hell. They have done terrible things and are likely to discuss terrible things.


I told you it was pretty much useless.

Comments

[itsytitsyspider]

A what a two glorious hours they were. Angel and his new cucumber friend got very acquainted while the deer was away. Magnus, as the spider had been fondly referring to him as, had help alleviated some of the annoying itch he felt. Though not completely. Nothing beats the warmth of the real deal. But still, he thoroughly enjoyed the time they shared, as forbidden was their love was~

Laying there on top of his bed sheets, still bathed in the hazy afterglow, the starlet held Magnus in one of his claws. With heavy breaths Angel's chest rose and fell, man he really needed that. He almost forgot the passage of time when there came a loud knock at the door. Oh shit! The fuzz! At least he had the decency to knock... Something Angel lacked.

Bolting straight up, Angel looked to the offending cucumber in his hand. Shit. You gotta hide! Stuffing the vegetable under his pillow, the spider wrapped his sheets around his waist to conceal his lack of pants...

"The fuck you want, Smiles? I'm a little preoccupied."

[lonelysmiles]

"I know you have the cucumber I bought for dinner for whatever reasn," Alastor said, ears twitching backwards. "I'd suggest you return it."

Honestly, it was more than a little annoying. The hell was Angel thinking?

[itsytitsyspider]

How did he know? Not like there was a lot of other possible suspects... Casting a glance at his pillow, yeaaaahhh.... Alastor really wouldn't want Magnus back.

"I really don't think you want that, Smiles." Angel called back at the door, not offering up any further explanation.

[lonelysmiles]

"...What did you do to my cucumber?"

There was a warning growl of static in his voice.

[itsytitsyspider]

Oh, that growl. It sounded.... serious. Did not think this one all the way through. Welp it was too late now.

"Well he ain't ours. Magnus and I have a lovely time while you were away."

Yep. Leave it at that.

[lonelysmiles]

That...that caught Alastor off-guard.

He blinked at the close door, head tilted to one side in utter bafflement.

"...Angel, it's food, not a pet."

Still not getting it.

[itsytitsyspider]

Oh for the love a Satan-

"IT'S BEEN IN MY ASS, AL!"

Jesus fucking Christ.

[lonelysmiles]

Well, there was the literal sound effect of Alastor's mind snapping like a twig. Good job, Angel.

There was a beat of silence.

"That is disgusting!" And it didn't matter that he was shouting at a closed door. He really didn't want to see what Angel looked like right now.

[itsytitsyspider]

Yeah, that was probably for the best. Not that Angel's appearance was all that offensive. Minor ruffling of the fur and the lack of bottoms was the state of things. But Angel was grateful that there was a door that divided them. More for his own... protection than him feeling shame for his actions. Ha! Zero regrets. He'd do it again. In fact.... after this he might go for round 3.

Angel's brows furrowed a bit. "What? Don't act like you've never masterbated before, Al." Wait... No. He could totally see that. "Or maybe ya should. You seem tense."

[lonelysmiles]

Alastor put his hands over his ears for a moment, trying to block out the words now pinging merrily around in his skull as his shadow silently laughed at him. The other shadows giggled in his head at his misery.

"Why in blazes would you even choose a vegetable of all things?! Couldn't you have, I don't know, found something that wasn't intended to be eaten?!"

Talk about setting himself up for more regrets...

[itsytitsyspider]

Why? Cause it was easy and available? Not to mention organic~ Come one, Al, it was good for the environment.

"Oh yeah, let me pop down the the local sex shop to get myself a new dildo." Al could hear Angel's eye roll in his voice. "Desperate times calls for desperate measures, Smiles."

[lonelysmiles]

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DINNER!

Alastor opened his mouth, finger raised to say that, yes, he should have. Then he stopped, remembering belatedly where they currently weren't. Of course Angel couldn't go retrieve one of his...toys...from a local shop. The shops around here didn't sell them.

There was an audible smack as he slapped his hand over his very red face as the shadows howled in silent laughter. A few of them even started appearing in Angel's room, mutely rolling about in their mirth.

[itsytitsyspider]

Through the door, Angel could hear the slap. What the fuck was Alastor going? Who was he hitting? Himself? Weird.... Did Angel brake him? The fucking prude. How the fuck did he survive in Hell for this long with all its... depravity?

The frown on the spider's face deepens as dark figures started to bleed out from under the door. Those little snitches. Get the fuck out this ain't a free peek show.

"Hey Al! Tell your cronies to scram or I'm changin' them for the veiw!"

[lonelysmiles]

Look, there was a reason he steered clear of any areas that went heavy on Lust.

Alastor ran his hand down his face as the shadows continued laughing in his head.

One of the little shadows shifted its shape to resemble Alastor while another mimicked Angel. The Angel shadow sashayed its hips as it made its way over to the Alastor shadow, the latter looking like it wanted to flee, as the other little shadows laughed hysterically at the show.

Angel couldn't hear the dialogue, but Alastor certainly could. Without thinking, he opened the door and grabbed the offending duo in his claws.

"All right, that's enough out of you!"

[itsytitsyspider]

Angel had no idea what was going on, but the little shadow duo cause him to cock a questioning brow. Well, the Angel shadow could use a little work. While it was a nice attempt at his walk, it needed a bit more attitude in those hips. Keep trying litt-

The door suddenly flung open much to Angel's surprise as Alastor marched in. Not like the porn star really cared if the deer had stumbled in to see him... disheveled. Hell, he wouldn't have cared if he walked in on him mid deed. Just one Hellphone search, you could find his vids that would show a lot worse. But there he sat, sheets in his lap, his shirt crooked with messy bed head, Magnus peeking out from his pillowy hiding spot behind him.

"....." Angel blinks. "Wow Al, just prancin' right on in. What if I was naked?"

Getting a lot of use out of this icon today.

[lonelysmiles]

Alastor froze, eyes wide in realization.

"...I'll just see myself out then!"

The little shadows mutely cackled as Alastor sped out of the door, slamming it closed behind himself. Even his own personal shadow was joining in on the fun.

At least until all of them gained faint red auras and were forcefully yanked out of the room via the cracks around the door.

[itsytitsyspider]

Again the spider found himself alone in his room just.... blinking. What the fuck was Al's problem? He was one of the most feared demons in Hell but at the slightest implication of something sexual, he turns into a frightened deer. Angel felt like he had stumbled on to some dangerous information. Dangerous for Alastor that is. Angel wasn't going to go around snitching on something this priceless. This was going to be fun.

With his bedroom intruder gone, he glanced back to Magnus debating with himself. What's done was done after all and Al didn't want it back so.... one more time? A wicked idea crossed his mind. If Alastor was going to be weird about a little self-care, he was going to give him a reason to be. He wasn't actually do anything but... dick with the prudish deer a bit. Cupping a hand around his mouth to amplify his own voice, the porn star started out slow, letting out a soft moan. Little by little his pleasured sounds grew louder and there was no doubt that he could be heard from beyond the door.

"Hmm.... yes... right there~ AH! Oh Al~"

'Little Al' was born.

[lonelysmiles]

It wouldn't take long until Angel heard the front door hastily shut, Alastor having clapped his hands over his sensitive ears. It didn't help that his shadow friends were all laughing hysterically in his head.

"All of you can shut up!" he snarled as he made his way away from the treehouse.

Surely, surely Angel would be done in an hour? He could stop by Dreambucks for a light lunch.

...Better make it two.

End of the Great Cucumber Debacle Angel: 1 - Alastor: 0

[itsytitsyspider]

Hearing the front door slam shut, Angel stopped his little performance. That was too easy. Man, he could write a book on how to chase off a murder deer for dummies. Does this mean he's won? Welp... Since he was alone....

His eyes traveled back to the cucumber. One more time for real wouldn't hurt~