Dreambucks Dating Sim(?!): Limited Edition

[recreator]

Who: Emet-Selch, Mei Lee, and a Bevy of Beautiful Boys (maybe)
Which: OPEN to friends and acquaintances (and innocent bystanders should you prefer it!)
Where: Dreambucks, five days later at high noon (backdated to ~August 10th or thereabouts)
What: In a half-hearted effort to help Mei overcome her unusual "ailment", Emet-Selch has agreed to take tea with her at Dreambucks and to invite a few of his more objectively attractive acquaintances. (Worry not, he's only here as a chaperone.)
Warnings: Cringe, regret, and secondhand embarrassment.


[The day is young; the wind is high. A small change of plans to begin what is certain to be a rather... unique experience, all told, has ushered Emet-Selch and his party indoors. Emet-Selch sits at a cafe table not terribly far from the entrance, positively bored as he pores over preliminary scheduling notes for his grand talent scouting venture whilst waiting for their guest of honor. The shadows beneath his eyes are more prominent than ever today, and he seems considerably older than his "forty-two" years. In other words, he's managing to look his age for once.]

[How this all came about, he still isn't completely certain. Perhaps at the time he was exceedingly exhausted and low on sleep (such as now), searching for anything at all to keep him focused and awake. Or perhaps in a lapse of judgment he saw this endeavor as a source of inspiration for an upcoming production - something whimsical about the struggles of life; a sentimental comedy. Or... perhaps a small, very small perfectionist-driven part of himself wished to help put an end to a young girl's peculiar affliction once and for all. "Stage fright" in the presence of others, broken focus, a tripped tongue. To have one's mind clouded is a tragedy, particularly when it would prevent one from reaching their full potential. And as it happens, Emet-Selch knows well how important it is to be able to make oneself understood when in the company of others - yet this is hardly the time for an origin story.]

[Emet-Selch lets out an exaggerated sigh and his hard gaze pins itself to the first person who is unfortunate enough to make eye contact.]

I do hope the child does not overdress for the occasion. This is a common social gathering, not a wedding reception. I reiterated the fact several times, yet I'd be foolish to think she heard a word of it. She was too busy shouting about her "first grand step into the exciting world of adulthood".

[A sideways glance at the doorway.]

Comments

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Finger snap, snap, snap snap! Mei is SO COOL today, you guys. She is going on coffee dates, with cute boys, and who could ask for anything more? Today, she will learn not to pass out or have her brain explode because a cute dude glances in her general direction!

And, of course, this is Perfect Panda Training! It'll be like shock therapy! Sure, she hasn't told Emet ANYTHING about the panda (nor did she plan to, ever). But those were just minor details. She would not Panda today! No tail, ears, paws, nothing! This is all about moving past that, and becoming a real adult woman!

Like wearing a dress! And (wobbly) high-heels! No clips in her hair, let it hang loose! Hints of (attempted) make-up! And now she's strutting to Dreambucks, one hand on her hip, the other one snapping her fingers with every other step!

BEHOLD, A TRUE LADY! ... Who has no idea what Emet looks like. So, how to best find the guy helping her out? Shout out at the entrance. ]

My name is Meilin Lee! And I am here for my DATES!

INSTA-REGRET

[recreator]

[Oh for the love of...!]

[In all of creation he's never seen such a... (...) utterly mind-boggling entrance. Emet-Selch groans quietly and digs the palm of his hand against his forehead, careful to avoid pressing too close to his eye.]

[What was he thinking indeed?]

[Well. He supposes one of them should call to her, given that vanishing on the spot is an unlikely option (he'd only be dragged back after gathering them here, and Hythlodaeus would know exactly where to find him anyway). That, and he'd prefer to avoid making an even bigger scene when already half of Dreambucks has turned to see what all the fuss is about.]

[So, as calmly as he can, Emet-Selch musters a fake smile and rises to his feet, clearing his throat politely. His voice may be light, but it carries the force of a command.]



Miss Meilin Lee, if you would kindly come hither and join us at Table 4, 'twould be most appreciated.

[Child, he gave you his name. He even put in a reservation! Just what is the meaning of all this?]

[nomoresharks]

[Hythlodaeus sucks in his lips, biting down on them in a desperate attempt to keep from absolutely losing his shit.

In the end he's forced to drop a napkin and pretend to pick it up, keeping bowed under the table much longer than is strictly necessary as he covers his mouth and desperately tries to recover.

This was absolutely worth coming along, by creation. Completely worth it.]

[crystalized_hope]

[As someone who was pulled into this, G'raha was already in when Mei arrived. Even if he were asked to sit in, he probably would have offered to help if he could anyway. So when she made her entrance, he chuckled lightly to himself. She was definitely getting the wrong idea from Emet's initial purpose. But as he said earlier, she was still young. Why ruin the fun for her? Taking a sip of his coffee, he gave a slight wave to her with his free hand.]

You look nice.

[A little too much effort, but he wasn't going to judge her for that.]

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Oh, she remembers this person! Fun Beach Dude! She happily runs up to him, pleased - she knows he's taken, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy each other's company! This is all a learning experience, after all! ]

G'raha! Aw, thanks! I did my best to look like a real adult! And all on my first try, too!

[herewardbound]

It had, thus far, been a passable morning, and mostly what he wanted was lunch. Dreambucks was... well, it was there, and not terrible, so Akechi found himself waiting, patiently, in line for the desired prize of sandwich-plus-yoghurt-plus-tea-

And no sooner had he retrieved the promised bounty than he chanced to meet the gaze of Emet-Selch as he passed, thus setting events in motion that would, doubtless, alter his fate forever.

He stopped, brow furrowed, listening to the Garlean speak.

"... I'm sorry. What??"

[recreator]

[A perfectly reasonable reaction, in all honesty. Though now that he thinks of it, Akechi might be an excellent addition to his little experiment - or would be, if his personality was a bit more polished around the edges. Still, his guest didn't say that sweetness mattered, only that she had difficulty interacting with males of pleasing appearance.]

[And so.]

It's as I said: I am meeting with a young woman who possesses a rather unusual case of social anxiety.

Come, sit, and I shall explain.

[herewardbound]

He narrowed his eyes, but moved to sit down. "... Social anxiety. And a crowded café was, in your opinion, the best place to meet her."

[nomoresharks]

[Hythlodaeus chuckles to himself as he adds a little extra sugar to the latte he ordered.]

Now, now, 'tis only to be expected. The allure of adulthood captures us all at some point in our younger years, especially as we grow closer to its cusp. She'll learn how to navigate it in due time, I'm sure.

[recreator]

[Emet-Selch sets his papers aside with a frown.]

What "allure"? It isn't as if there exists some ceremonial arch through which we pass into the "adult world". 'Tis a gradual transition, not some sudden and magnificent transformation. And a far less fanciful one than she's apparently been led to believe.

[The pot could certainly call out the kettle here. Though Emet-Selch may claim to be blind to adulthood's "allure", he most certainly knows the pride of coming into one's own - if a certain "sorceror of eld" can be considered a mark of maturity.]

[nomoresharks]

Ah, but you are looking at it from the point of view of one who has already gone through it! When experience cannot provide the proper details, imagination often fills in the gaps.

[He sets his spoon to the side and takes a sip of his latte. Yes, that amount of sweetness should more than suffice.]

And that's without taking into account the myriad cultures across the worlds drawn to this realm.

[crystalized_hope]

[G'raha was just coming in for a coffee when he noticed Emet sitting there, looking quite annoyed. Although, that seemed par for the course.

Hearing his response, he pondered for a moment about what he could possibly be talking about until...

Ah, Mei. He's assuming this had something to do with her post previously.]

Well, for someone who is new to the many changes into adulthood, I wouldn't be too hard on her. What exactly are you planning?

[Emet-Selch helping a fledgling teenager? That's certainly a sight to see.]

[recreator]

"Hard on her"?

[Oh, don't give him that look! He's hardly done a thing, save for getting himself into this mess (and dragging his unsuspecting accomplices along for the ride.) Besides, he was half-delirious from exhaustion at the time.]

When she mentioned her difficulties thinking and speaking to those she finds "attractive", I asked if she'd be able to interact appropriately with were she to meet with others over tea.

Between one thing and another, that challenge has found its way into reality.

[crystalized_hope]

[He really was a softy sometimes, wasn't he? Not that G'raha will point that out vocally.]

I see. A means to build up confidence and face setbacks, so to speak. It's not a bad plan.

[stupidmammon]

Sounds like someone's havin' girl trouble.

[ While he may not really know Emet, he was nosy enough to listen in on the man's musings. He was in a public place after all, and that meant it was up for grabs to bother the poor man. ]

[recreator]

[Emet-Selch is not familiar with the other man either, so to him, he is nothing more than a bystander and a busybody. Still, he had been the one to speak up first...]

If that's what it sounded like, then you are woefully mistaken. The trouble isn't mine, it's hers.

For Mei!

[shinebrighter]

[There was something to be said for confidence. It is an attractive trait, singularly enough to have one overlook the wobble in her gait, and imperfect makeup. For it is confidence that strikes Themis most about the girl that stands at the Dreambucks doorway yelling, yes, yelling, about dates.

Perhaps she is demanding a food item served within. While Themis knew what a date in Mei's context was, as he was not born yesterday, he had no idea of the intentions of Emet-Selch while bringing such an eclectic group of people together. The idea of dates as the term is meant flies over his head. Well over his head. The idea of any sort of group dating session was ridiculous, after all. And really, he has assumed this little get-together something to do with his ongoing effort toward the theater.

He glances to Meilin. Then to the rest of the table when Emet-Selch decides to direct her to take a seat among them, and while he appears confused, he elects to remain silent until the answer to his spoken question is proffered.

However, he does at least have the good sense to pull up the chair next to him for her, should she wish to take it. And if she does...]

Hello.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ OOOOH MAMA JAMA. STARTING OFF STRONG, ARE WE??? Mei quickly bites her thumb, letting out an "eep". Calm down, calm down! Suppress the panda... suppress it!

After a hard swallow and exhale, she straightens up and takes the chair, cheeks already flushed red. ]

H-H-Hello! M-M-My name is Meilin Lee! B-B-Bit everyone calls me Mei! This is a very normal thing that's happening right now!

For everybody, she's hardly subtle.

[songbird_slayer]

[Big overcoat? Check. Big hat? Check. Big sunglasses? CHECK. Requesting an oversized newspaper so she can sit at a nearby table and hide behind it, drink in the awkward atmosphere while absolutely minding her own business?

Check, check.

Ooh, damn. This tea was really good. But the tea right here was even better. Emet-Selch, she wasn't aware you offered a chaperoning service...]

[crystalized_hope]

[In this weather? Her apparel definitely stuck out. He didn't approach her right away, deciding to observe for a moment before finally walking over to her table, taking a seat.]

If you're trying to blend in, this is not how you do it.

[He chuckled lightly, nudging her ever so slightly. He made sure to keep his voice low, as if not to give her away more than she already might have.]

Worried about how she'll do, I see.

Re: For everybody, she's hardly subtle.

[herewardbound]

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Madhuri's here that woman is a fucking menace how could this happen where the hell is Joker with his fucking glasses-

Very nonchalantly, Akechi inched backwards ever so slightly to put another diner between himself and her. Not a word not a word not a FUCKING WORD.

[recreator]

[All of this effort is for naught, of course (as she should well know by now - at least in his opinion). The moment another table clears out and Emet-Selch's line of vision is no longer impeded by the presence of other souls, he recognizes her almost immediately.]

[And he must say, for a disguise, one would normally choose a manner of dress to blend in with one's surroundings, not the opposite. Just what is she doing here? Is she making certain he doesn't harm the Exarch? Or is she merely up to her usual mischief?]

[It makes little difference to him - for now. So although his eyes narrow in her general direction, he says nothing.]

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ In-between all the dates, Mei needs a breather - literally, GEEZ LOUISE TOO MUCH HOT IN ONE AREA - and eventually notices someone having a similar problem. Mei pauses, tilting her head at this stranger. Geez, weren't they kinda... warm with all those layers? And it was still summer, wasn't it?

Not recognizing who it was beneath all the fluff, Mei goes to order a simple water and then goes to place it on the Stranger's table. ]

Um, here! You look kinda... warm... so, you can have this!

Alastor needs some popcorn for this trainwreck.

[lonelysmiles]

[Alastor is humming to himself as he walks into Dreambucks, having no idea the fiasco that's taking place. His shoes click on the floor like hooves as he walks to the counter.]

[Ooh, there's an interesting buzz in the air today that has nothing to do with him or his ambient static. He gets his coffee and a scone before parking himself at a table with the best view of the cafe, propping up his chin on the backs of his hands.]

Well, well, well...What have we here?

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Taking a break in-between all the hotties, Mei spots her Very Good Friend! She walks on over, always happy to see him. ]

Oh, hey, Alastor! Are you here to help me prep?