Dreambucks Dating Sim(?!): Limited Edition

[recreator]

Who: Emet-Selch, Mei Lee, and a Bevy of Beautiful Boys (maybe)
Which: OPEN to friends and acquaintances (and innocent bystanders should you prefer it!)
Where: Dreambucks, five days later at high noon (backdated to ~August 10th or thereabouts)
What: In a half-hearted effort to help Mei overcome her unusual "ailment", Emet-Selch has agreed to take tea with her at Dreambucks and to invite a few of his more objectively attractive acquaintances. (Worry not, he's only here as a chaperone.)
Warnings: Cringe, regret, and secondhand embarrassment.


[The day is young; the wind is high. A small change of plans to begin what is certain to be a rather... unique experience, all told, has ushered Emet-Selch and his party indoors. Emet-Selch sits at a cafe table not terribly far from the entrance, positively bored as he pores over preliminary scheduling notes for his grand talent scouting venture whilst waiting for their guest of honor. The shadows beneath his eyes are more prominent than ever today, and he seems considerably older than his "forty-two" years. In other words, he's managing to look his age for once.]

[How this all came about, he still isn't completely certain. Perhaps at the time he was exceedingly exhausted and low on sleep (such as now), searching for anything at all to keep him focused and awake. Or perhaps in a lapse of judgment he saw this endeavor as a source of inspiration for an upcoming production - something whimsical about the struggles of life; a sentimental comedy. Or... perhaps a small, very small perfectionist-driven part of himself wished to help put an end to a young girl's peculiar affliction once and for all. "Stage fright" in the presence of others, broken focus, a tripped tongue. To have one's mind clouded is a tragedy, particularly when it would prevent one from reaching their full potential. And as it happens, Emet-Selch knows well how important it is to be able to make oneself understood when in the company of others - yet this is hardly the time for an origin story.]

[Emet-Selch lets out an exaggerated sigh and his hard gaze pins itself to the first person who is unfortunate enough to make eye contact.]

I do hope the child does not overdress for the occasion. This is a common social gathering, not a wedding reception. I reiterated the fact several times, yet I'd be foolish to think she heard a word of it. She was too busy shouting about her "first grand step into the exciting world of adulthood".

[A sideways glance at the doorway.]

Comments

[herewardbound]

Akechi frowned. "I'm only pointing out that I'm perfectly aware I'm not good at social interactions, and you already know I don't have much patience for bullshit. But, I suppose if that doesn't concern you I don't have anywhere else to be at the moment."

[recreator]

[Akechi, somehow you very much remind him of his beloved grandson's favorite dog. Always frowning, always growling at strangers... and a completely different sort of animal when taken out on a hunt.]

[Honestly, he's surprised he even agreed.]

Very good. And I daresay this may prove to be the perfect opportunity for you to practice your own social skills.

Themis will also be in attendance. You may find that you learn quite a great deal by joining us.

[herewardbound]

That actually gave him pause. "That's actually a good point. This would, I suppose, be a perfectly serviceable way to meet him 'organically', and begin my investigation under that pretense."

He filled the silence following that concession by taking a drink, his expression contemplative. "Very well. When is the guest of honor supposed to arrive?"

[recreator]

Potentially, yes. It would certainly be less abrupt than introducing the two of you completely out of the blue. He may appear young, but he is no fool. You will have to be extremely covert about your investigation.

As for our guest... I set the time for high noon, though given the change in weather, I would not be surprised to find her running a few moments late. The wind has been nothing but a hindrance ever since it picked up some days ago.

[herewardbound]

"Ugh. I don't even want to hear about the damn wind. You have relatively short hair. I'm going to have to get something to tie it back if this keeps up."

[recreator]

Oh dear. Mayhap if you ask Hythlodaeus nicely, he will see fit to braid yours as well. I daresay that should solve all your troubles.

[Perhaps Akechi should have ordered something sweeter - he really is unapologetically cranky this morning.]

[herewardbound]

He laughed. It wasn't much of one, more a short bark than anything. "Oh, yes. The magic problem-solving hair style. Of course! Why didn't I think of it before? And to think all these years I've been dealing with all that bullshit for no reason. Thank you, Emet-Selch, sage of sages, for your infinite goddamn wisdom."

[recreator]

Need I remind you that you were the one who first sought out my infinite "gods-be-damned" wisdom because you yourself were at the end of your metaphorical rope? Try me again in another thousand years and perhaps I'll be able to dispense with more agreeable advice.

[Is that a true laugh, or a fake one? Difficult to tell with someone like Akechi. So instead Emet-Selch finishes his drink.]

You could, after all, simply cut it off.

[He does realize, however, that Akechi is referring to something else at this point. Something far crueler than a little wind. He imagines those events are what's responsible for his current demeanor and all of the overflowing anger and agitation besides.]

[herewardbound]

In fairness, he wasn't frowning as much. In fact, he was almost smirking. "I think basic biology will get a word in before that, but I'll tell you what- assuming we're both alive at that point, maybe I'll take you up on it."

[recreator]

Ah yes, basic biology. How ever could I have forgotten it?

[He didn't, of course. Emet-Selch need not worry about such a thing - on his end, at least. On the contrary, the only thing likely to "get a word in" is fate and a future which may or may not be his to change.]

[A vague sweep of his arm follows.]

Well, I'm certain I'll be around one way or another. Though whether it's in the realm of the living or the realm of the dead is anyone's guess.