closed ⚡🌠 can we come back from this

[starshower]

Who: Eustace & Tifa
Which: Closed log
Where: Their treehouse, corgi tree, maybe some other places
What: After Eustace's Noctaere episode, he and Tifa try to put their relationship back together.
Warnings: Trauma, lots of sads, and then probably gross fluff after.


[It had been a struggle even getting home. After they and the others had arrived at Ori's home together, it was at Tifa's insistence that she and Eustace go back to theirs. For as grateful and appreciative as she was for all their help in saving the both of them, there are some things that Tifa would rather they be alone for, and this... whatever this is, is one of them. Never mind the guilt that she feels for having been the one to put them all through it—Eustace can argue with her all he likes, and they can all contend that they shouldn't feel that way, that none of it was her fault, but ever since she woke up from her weakened and frozen state, Tifa couldn't look any one of them in the eye.

Including Eustace.

Even as she walks with their arms slung around each other for support with Eria at their side, the journey home is silent. Only the stirrings of dawn can be heard—the birds that chirp in the canopies, the sound of dew dripping from the leaves, but nothing is quite so loud as their staggered footsteps, or her heart beating wildly in her chest, and her blood roaring in her ears.

Tifa tries to keep her anxiety to a minimum, tries to keep her thoughts straight, but all she can see are the claws of those lindworms as they came down to strike, and their scales that shimmered as they slithered around her. All she can hear are his desperate cries, and the sound of ice and electricity crackling as her vision darkened and her consciousness had begun to fade... She remembers the chill, the grips of death when it threatened to consume her, how cold his fingers were as they brushed against her face. The red in his eyes...

And then when she woke and saw the destruction he'd left behind. Saw her friends bruised and battered from battle. Saw him like that...

The thought is cut short by a sharp breath when they finally arrive at the foot of the stairs leading up to their home, her boot bumping against them when she hadn't been paying attention. The climb up is as dreadful as everything else had been, and she can feel the heat under her boots, the fires that try to claw their way out of the cage she tries to lock them in, to struggle against the trail of ice that forms in their wake. Even the tree's branches and leaves shudder as they walk through the front door, the flowers that decorate their tree that were once bright and vibrant freezing over and shriveling up, dying without a fighting chance.

It isn't until they're safely inside that Tifa so much as looks at him for the first time since they were at Ori's. Perhaps even before. Really looks at him. He's bruised and cut up, and he looks more tired than she's ever seen him.

Her hands fold together as she skirts her gaze away again, down to where she tries to stop her fingers from trembling when she bites back the urge to sob.

Tifa wants to say something, but... what is she even supposed to say? What can she say right now that would make this easier for both of them? She searches and searches her mind for an answer to the question that's been wracking her since they left the cliffside, but she's still coming up short of nothing.

Eria trots over and nudges Tifa with her nose, as if to encourage her to say something to break this tense silence before it all snaps. So, she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind in a voice so tiny that she's not even sure she's said anything at all, and it crackles, as if this is the first time she's ever spoken a word in her life. It certainly feels that way right now.]

... Do you want to get cleaned up first?

[First.

She kicks herself for it. Any other day and she would have suggested together, but her fear—not of him, but fear for them—is getting the better of her, and maybe that's for the best.]

Comments

[flamekthunder]

[The best he could do at that moment felt like he was scratching the bare minimum. Tifa likely would have been completely crushed by now if he hadn't managed to somehow restrain the claw after that kick, which now trembles over her body.

You got this...

Her voice is heard clearly, and for a moment despair fills the void. To have so much trust and belief in him and yet he can't seem to do more than this. Despite their efforts, this will just end in another nightmare...

One where he's left helpless and powerless to only watch as he kills the one he's sworn to protect, sworn his life and heart to. Just another repeat.

The lindwurm shakes its head before it roars and lunges down, fangs bared wide.

You got this...

ENOUGH!

With its fangs just mere inches away from Tifa's face, the lindwurm suddenly stops and rears back, lightning suddenly erupting over its body yet not reaching Tifa. It rears and staggers back away, the smell of charred hide adding to the rot of the remains and blood, and soon the lindwurm crashes to the ground

It's exhausting him, taking every bit of strength he has. But he had somehow wrenched a hand out of the black substance and slammed it out to grab whatever he could. It was strange as there wasn't really anything physical that he could see or sense, but he could feel something. And he latched onto it with all his might and drove as much dreamotion into it.

Even so he could feel it resisting him, heat searing up his arm and carrying the voices of fear and hatred, his nightmares flickering in his mind. Again he feels something stabbing into his back and into his neck, something latched onto him like a cage. It—this entire nightmare—is trying to weaken him. But he repeats Tifa's voice over and over again to drown it out and shoots another surge of lightning, this time with ice forming around the legs to try to keep the body in place.

Of course, he feels it, too. Bound together with the body, he feels the same pain he inflicted, yet he just endures. If this is what it takes...

Yet he's reaching his limit. Perhaps if this were earlier he would have more strength...but he's been worn down, tired. He doesn't want to give up, but he needs this to end. He needs...

...]

Tifa...listen to me carefully...

[His voice is strained as it rumbles over the still burning, charred fields, the lindwurm still trying to break free from the ice and the buzzing electricity that binds it.]

...I can't retain control much longer...but I'll finish this.

I need you to leave first.

[starshower]

[From where she sits on the ground, Tifa watches the lindwurm, horrified, as lightning arches over its body to try to consume it, as if Eustace himself is trying to burn it away and shed it like a snake would its skin. The beast goes down all thanks to him, and the ice that crawls over its legs tell her that he's still fighting. Still there, close enough now for her to try reaching him...

Her eyes widen when she hears his weak voice, and it sounds like he's in pain and like he's struggling to even speak. And when he tells her to leave, she gives him a rigourous shake of her head.]

No! I'm not—

[She tries to stand but her knee gives out from beneath her. The pain from where the ice had nicked her and reopened that scar can be felt in full now, and the blood still trickles hot over her stockings and her boots, and she tumbles forward onto the ground before she can finish what she means to say. She can taste the burnt blood when she groans in pain, but she lifts her head to look at him.]

Ngh...

[Up she gets again, her resolve burning brighter than the fires that surround her. This time, she puts all of her weight on her good leg so that she can limp her way over to where the lindwurm's body lies, almost lifeless.]

I'm not going anywhere... I'm not going to leave you alone in here.

[Her voice is firm, making it clear that she will hear no arguments.]

The only way I'm leaving is with you.

[flamekthunder]

[Seeing her limp towards him pains him more than the damage he's inflicting on himself. He almost tries to create a barrier between them, but seeing the blood on her leg, he's reminded of what happened last time...and he knows she'll try, anyway. In the end, he doesn't have the extra will or strength to do much more.

By now the lindwurm's eyes are more blue than red, its head turned to face her, jaws opened as it pants for air.]

If you stay, you'll get caught up in the storm.

[As he speaks, dark thunder clouds are gathering directly above, thunder rumbling and lightning occasionally streaking through the skies.]

...I need to do this, Tifa... It's the only way. And it's just a dream... I'll be fine.

[starshower]

[She hears the thunder, sees the lightning reflecting in the lindwurm's eyes, but she doesn't stop. If anything, it pushes her to move faster, regardless of the strain it puts on her leg.]

No, it isn't. [Tifa smiles through the pain as she finally reaches him, and when she does, she lets herself fall in front of him, just within reach so that she can reach out and press her hand to the burnt scales of the body.] Don't tell me you've given up already.

[She knows what he means to do. He'd said it before, hadn't he? But they made a promise to each other that day, and she intends to keep it. Regardless of whether this is a dream or reality, she would never leave him behind.]

I promise that it won't be the answer you're looking for...

[That destroying all of this isn't going to give him the peace he longs for and deserves. It might help to break free from this nightmare, but what about all the ones that will come after? It isn't as if she has all the answers, but it's not something that she can simply hand to him...]

[flamekthunder]

I haven't.

[His voice is firm...but there is a hint of resignation and weariness as he continues.]

...But it's the most effective way to end this.

I destroy this form, I wake up, and that will be it.

[At least in his mind, it just seems...logical. He's trapped inside this form and can't seem to get out by his own will, but at least now he has some clarity and control. How long it will last he doesn't know, so if he destroys it, that will be the end. Destroy this weak side of him that he hates... Destroy this nightmare. He has the strength to do it now, to actually fight back.

What other way would there be?

Live with this? It's not possible.

He just can't see it.

At least not right now.]

[starshower]

Will it...?

[She tries not to sound so weary herself, but with the sigh, her voice sounds more defeated than she intends it to. She isn't, and Tifa still thinks that he can find a better way to beat all of this, but once again, she finds herself caught between wanting to tell him so that he can stop suffering and wanting him to be able to beat this on his own terms.

Instead, she shifts so that she can gently caress the lindwurm's scales with her hand, knowing that he can feel her warm, gentle touch too.]

You'll get out of here, sure, but... I think it's going to take more than that. And I know you've still got more fight left in you. You always do...

[flamekthunder]

[He's silent, her touch soothing, and without realizing it some of the darkened scales have started to lighten up, revealing flecks of white silver.]

...

...I'm tired of fighting, Tifa. That's all I've done all my life.

[A long, drawn out sigh, his words from before echoing in his mind.]

I don't know what else to do.

[starshower]

["That's all I've done all my life."

...

The words resonate with Tifa, her heart grabbing hold of them and locking them away somewhere safe, in the same place those very words echo in her mind, too. She understands, she knows what that's like, and she knows that the fight will never stop. The kind of people they are... there will always be something that they'll be fighting for, whether it's them, each other, or for a greater good...

That doesn't mean they still can't find their peace and quiet again.

Tifa finally lifts her head to look at him, her own eyes tired and heavy, and she sees the way that the scales are already changing to silver... a sure sign that something he's doing is working, and she smiles a little brighter.]

Just a little more, I promise...

[She moves closer again so that she can drape herself over him, and she rests her weight there and closes her eyes. She should be afraid, she should want to run, but she knows that this is just a little piece of him now...]

You gotta remember that you're not fighting alone anymore.

[Neither of them are.]

[flamekthunder]

[Another stretch of silence before he speaks again.]

...Don't you hate this? How I am...wouldn't it better if I got rid of it?

[This accursed form.]

[starshower]

...

Yeah. I do.

[She sees no benefit in lying about it, but she isn't finished.]

I hate it because I know that you're suffering, and that it's still hurting you.

[Even after all of the happy memories they've been able to share since that night. Even after he clawed his way out of the nightmares in the cave and then again when they stumbled into that dream together earlier that day. She hates this thing—these lindwurms—for causing him more pain than they've caused her.]

I'm... scared of them... The ones I saw up in the Cliffside. But not you.

[flamekthunder]

[She's said it all before yet...it's somehow difficult for him to accept. Perhaps because his own guilt still lies in this, from what happened that night... Both of them victims yet he still brands himself as the one at most fault.

And he'll never be able to rid of that...as much as he wants to.

He knows she's right.

No matter how much or how many times he tries to destroy himself, this memory, it will never go away. Not how he wants to.]

I still can't let this place exist...it's just rotting me from the inside.

[starshower]

[...

Tifa doesn't say anything at first. Instead, she just lets her finger draw lines in between the scales, following the ridges along the lindwurm's body, watching as more and more of them begin to shimmer that familiar silver she'd seen in the last dream. She needs to overcome this fear too, but she can already feel herself starting to feel a little more at ease. A little less scared of looking into those eyes and seeing something she might not like.

This isn't about her fears right now, however. They are about his, and even if she was terrified, frozen still, she wouldn't allow it to forsake him.

Her eyes look over the lindwurm, following its long body coiled over the ground, but her gaze stops when it comes back near her, and in the small space between herself and him, there's the faint glow of something in her shadow. Blooming from the ash is a small star flower, its petals quivering as it blooms right before her eyes...

She's careful as she reaches down to pluck it free from the soot before the heat can get it and lifts it so that he can hopefully see it.]

Maybe, but... [She twirls the glowing star flower between her fingers.] I wonder if maybe you can stop that.

[flamekthunder]

How...!?

[He starts to doubt, to question when she lifts up the flower high enough for him to see. His eyes widen slightly, trembling, all traces of the red almost vanished as the flower reflects in them.

How...even now amidst this rotten wasteland...

Slowly his head rises to look out. The fire had died down, and the only thing remaining of the horrors that once littered the place is the ash, ash that slowly drifts and disappears into the wind. Briefly he remembers how his dream had started.

Him, her, together in that open flower field, everything peaceful and quiet. It's such a beautiful, serene image that invokes a strong emotion out of him, one that tightens his chest and forces his eyes close before he lowers his head towards her in longing.]

...Tifa...

[He just wants to be with her. Wants to be happy with her.

...He can't give up. Not yet.]

...I need your help.

[starshower]

[Tifa sees that shift in his eyes, and she smiles gently for him before laying the flower down over the scales, watching as the silver practically ripples beneath it like water. He's making progress... Is he starting to understand what all of this means? What she's trying to tell him?

She offers him a small nod in return.]

Whatever you need.

[He just needs to tell her what it is he wants from her and she will do it.]

[flamekthunder]

[It's not going to be what she expects.

At least at first.]

Burn me.

[starshower]

[Definitely not what she expects, and her shocked, almost horrified expression says as much.]

... What? You mean with my fire...?

[She will do it, but what exactly does he mean to accomplish with it?]

[flamekthunder]

[He can understand her expression, but as he's about to explain he feels that surge of pain through his arm again, that pain reflected in his expression as he groans and turns his head away, claws digging into earth. It had been quiet, to the point he almost forgot, but it's still there, digging into his back and neck. What the hell is it?? For Tifa, she'll be able to see how the black mist is starting to gather above his back.]

There's...something else here...a manifestation of nightmare energy or what, I don't know...

I can only do so much from in here... But your fire... If we treat this like a curse, you might be able to use it to help purify and burn some of it off. Like you did here.

[His eyes glance over to the field.

Her fire.

The representation of her strength, her will, her resolve—her passion and her love. Perhaps if he had that along with his own dreamotion, he can finally shed himself of this rot that's plaguing him, gain the strength he needs for that change. That acceptance..]

[starshower]

[Tifa watches as the black mist drifts, and she chews on the inside of her lip, trying to maintain a steady expression despite the panic that she feels clawing its way forward in her when she sees it and now it tries to eat its way through the scales and into him. Her hand presses a little more firmly over them, hoping the warmth that she exudes will help.]

... Okay.

[There's hesitation in her voice still, but she's willing to move past it for him.]

Will it... hurt you?

[Already, the flames begin to flicker warm at her fingertips, but she doesn't let them touch the scales yet.]

[flamekthunder]

It won't.

[His voice strengthens as he looks at her, his eyes filled with the same trust and resolve she holds for him.]

Keep the idea of it healing me in mind, let your emotions guide you.

[He then hesitantly brushes his muzzle against her, the blackened scales shimmering silver as if it were just soot rubbing away.]

...I believe in you.

[starshower]

[Her hands come up to his face when he bumps it up against her, and she watches, mesmerized, as the black scales ripple silver, and he'll feel her warmth grow between them as she lets her fingertips graze over the ashen scales.

"I believe in you."

He always does, doesn't he? Not that she ever doubted him but hearing him say it now... it helps.

Tifa breathes in, her breath trembling, and as she exhales, she lowers her head until it's resting on his—on the lindwurm's.]

If it starts to hurt, tell me...

[She heeds his words and focuses on wanting to heal him and bring him back, to take away this skin so that she can hold him with him in his own. So that she can feel his warmth as he wraps his arms around her and holds her close...]

I love you... I believe in you, too...

[The fire erupts from her hands and spreads over him, enveloping him like a blanket, but rather than feel like they burn, it will feel more like an embrace...

And she prays that this will work...]

[flamekthunder]

[He closes his eyes, wanting the same thing as much if not more. To finally hold her, to feel her warmth, her breath, her heart. For her image to erase the monstrosities he's had to face in this nightmare.

And then he feels her—her flames. That warmth is almost ticklish and he can feel its embrace. Her embrace. Despite being wrapped in this icy darkness, he can feel her warmth penetrating through it, as if its her own arms wrapped around him. Her flames drive back some of that darkness both outside on the scales and the darkness that holds him trapped within. And for a moment he loses himself in it—until he feels that stabbing pain again. He doesn't know what this is, but he can no longer let it do as it pleases. With Tifa giving him strength, he gathers his own feelings.

Anger. Grief. Fear. Hatred. These are emotions that had iced his heart before, had once dominated him that helped him on his path. Eventually he decided to repress them so that he could keep his cool, though that led to crippling him as he didn't want to express them and have it hinder his judgment. Now the opposite has happened, those emotions overwhelming him.

But he has something else now. Joy, hope, peace—love.

He can't give them up. Nor can he get rid of those negative emotions, either. Instead, he has to grab them just like he managed to grab the lindwurm and turn it to his own will.

Lightning crackles around him once more, the thunder clouds above booming loudly as bolts strike down to the earth. But they look a bit different. There's a reddish tint to them, as if on fire, and where they land the ground clears itself of the ash and blood. And inside, Eustace grits his teeth as the red lightning encircles around him, ripping away at the remaining darkness and shadows. He can feel his arms and legs become free until at last it all burns away.

For a brief moment, Tifa will see the lindwurm a beautiful white silver before it crumbles away to white, ashen snow. It blows away like a storm, leaving Eustace on his arms and knees on the ground, gasping.

However.

A grotesque skeletal creature clings onto him, trapping him like a parasite. Its ribs wrap around his torso, digging into his chest like a cage; its spine stabs along his back, as if crushed into it; and its fangs bite down on his neck, blood trickling down. Long, black, matted hair sticks out from its skull, an ominous red glow in its empty sockets as a voice repeats almost mechanically close to his ear:

...You're hurting me...

...You're hurting me...

...You're hurting me...]

[starshower]

[It all happens so fast, and yet... not fast enough. Tifa's eyes are closed through the whole thing as she hopes with every fiber of her being that this will work, but they snap open when she's startled by the crackle and crash of lightning and the booming of the thunder rolling over their heads. She doesn't fall back, however, no matter how hot it starts to burn around them, and no matter how warm the fire starts to get, her own emotions getting the better of her when she starts to wonder if this is even working—

She isn't sure if she's hallucinating, but the white, magnificent beast before her melts away, dissolving in the wind and the flames before she can truly take it in or understand what's happening, and it's all gone before it's replaced with a horrific sight.

Tifa sees him—Eustace—in front of her in the flesh, his white hair draping over his face as he struggles for air, and she rushes to him only to be thrown back by the skeleton that clings to his body and sinks itself into his skin.]

What—!?

[She knows better than to panic, and that it's the last thing that Eustace needs right now, but what else is she supposed to do when she sees it? She recognizes the black hair, the red eyes, the way it draws blood from his throat the same way he had done...

But it doesn't stop her from going to him and breaking the bones apart—or trying to snap them away, using the heat of the fire to help her in any way that she can to free him from this cage.]

[flamekthunder]

[He screams in agony when the bones are forcibly ripped away from him, tearing through his skin and clothes—but he strangely, it doesn't actually hurt as it should. If anything what he feels is...

Relief.

As if Tifa breaking this ghost is also breaking this burden away from him.

The skeleton doesn't fight back, and so when the last set of bones snap free—the jaws that dig into his neck—it all crumbles and burn into ash from her fire before, like everything else, it all disappears into the smokey wind. With it gone, Eustace finally collapses to the ground, unmoving but breathing—barely.]

[starshower]

[Tifa doesn't shout, doesn't cry out in the stillness of the air. Instead, as Eustace collapses, she silently catches him with whispers of reassurances and promises, and she lays his head to rest on her lap while she leans over him, black hair draping around them like a curtain meant to hide the things she's saying.

She repeats them over and over, hoping that he'll still be able to hear them. Whispers of I love you's, promises that it will be okay, that she will take him home where they can rest and be together, that they will get through this... They are all things that she fervently believes in, and things that, after what she has seen tonight in this nightmare, she's sure of even more.

It tried to frighten her, tried to keep her away from him, but she had pulled through somehow... For him. If there's anything that could prove that they were stronger than they think, it's all this right here. It's him laying on her lap and in her arms, and Tifa being here to hold him in the end.

Cradling him in her arms, she looks down at him, and tears spill from her eyes again. Or they never stopped. But it's an overwhelming mix of guilt, relief, and sadness... He looks so tired and worn and he's barely breathing, his skin bloodied from the marks that skeleton left on his neck...

She wishes she could make it all stop.

Make it all go away.

So, with that wish sealed up on her lips, she leans forward until she can press a kiss to his. It's a gentle brush, tender and sweet and longing, but there's desperation there, too.

As if she were trying to pass on that wish to him so that he knows to come back to her...]

[flamekthunder]

[With the weight of everything gone, Eustace is fully prepared to just let his consciousness go and wake up as is. But then he hears Tifa's crying, her pleas for him to come back. Her whispers of love, her promises to him...

Her kiss.

It's enough to rouse him.

Enough for him to slowly reach a worn out hand to first gently touch her cheek before he's kissing her back. With it he pours out every single emotion he has for her, his gratefulness that she's here...

And with that kiss, the thunder clouds part to reveal a clear blue sky and a warm sun that shines down on the two. A strong burst of wind soon follows, exploding from where they rest and carrying flowers that suddenly filling the area like a wave. It washes over them, flooding over the once barren land as brilliant blue and white starflowers bloom and flourish around to look exactly like the fields before.

But he doesn't pay much attention to it.

Doesn't notice how all their wounds, the dirt, blood, and grime have disappeared.

Instead, once the winds calm and the petals slowly drift around them he pulls back just enough to brush his thumb over her tears and give her a soft smile.]

...You found me.