closed ⚡🌠 can we come back from this

[starshower]

Who: Eustace & Tifa
Which: Closed log
Where: Their treehouse, corgi tree, maybe some other places
What: After Eustace's Noctaere episode, he and Tifa try to put their relationship back together.
Warnings: Trauma, lots of sads, and then probably gross fluff after.


[It had been a struggle even getting home. After they and the others had arrived at Ori's home together, it was at Tifa's insistence that she and Eustace go back to theirs. For as grateful and appreciative as she was for all their help in saving the both of them, there are some things that Tifa would rather they be alone for, and this... whatever this is, is one of them. Never mind the guilt that she feels for having been the one to put them all through it—Eustace can argue with her all he likes, and they can all contend that they shouldn't feel that way, that none of it was her fault, but ever since she woke up from her weakened and frozen state, Tifa couldn't look any one of them in the eye.

Including Eustace.

Even as she walks with their arms slung around each other for support with Eria at their side, the journey home is silent. Only the stirrings of dawn can be heard—the birds that chirp in the canopies, the sound of dew dripping from the leaves, but nothing is quite so loud as their staggered footsteps, or her heart beating wildly in her chest, and her blood roaring in her ears.

Tifa tries to keep her anxiety to a minimum, tries to keep her thoughts straight, but all she can see are the claws of those lindworms as they came down to strike, and their scales that shimmered as they slithered around her. All she can hear are his desperate cries, and the sound of ice and electricity crackling as her vision darkened and her consciousness had begun to fade... She remembers the chill, the grips of death when it threatened to consume her, how cold his fingers were as they brushed against her face. The red in his eyes...

And then when she woke and saw the destruction he'd left behind. Saw her friends bruised and battered from battle. Saw him like that...

The thought is cut short by a sharp breath when they finally arrive at the foot of the stairs leading up to their home, her boot bumping against them when she hadn't been paying attention. The climb up is as dreadful as everything else had been, and she can feel the heat under her boots, the fires that try to claw their way out of the cage she tries to lock them in, to struggle against the trail of ice that forms in their wake. Even the tree's branches and leaves shudder as they walk through the front door, the flowers that decorate their tree that were once bright and vibrant freezing over and shriveling up, dying without a fighting chance.

It isn't until they're safely inside that Tifa so much as looks at him for the first time since they were at Ori's. Perhaps even before. Really looks at him. He's bruised and cut up, and he looks more tired than she's ever seen him.

Her hands fold together as she skirts her gaze away again, down to where she tries to stop her fingers from trembling when she bites back the urge to sob.

Tifa wants to say something, but... what is she even supposed to say? What can she say right now that would make this easier for both of them? She searches and searches her mind for an answer to the question that's been wracking her since they left the cliffside, but she's still coming up short of nothing.

Eria trots over and nudges Tifa with her nose, as if to encourage her to say something to break this tense silence before it all snaps. So, she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind in a voice so tiny that she's not even sure she's said anything at all, and it crackles, as if this is the first time she's ever spoken a word in her life. It certainly feels that way right now.]

... Do you want to get cleaned up first?

[First.

She kicks herself for it. Any other day and she would have suggested together, but her fear—not of him, but fear for them—is getting the better of her, and maybe that's for the best.]

Comments

[starshower]

[She can feel the sting of the bitter cold, and the way that it digs into her bones and tries to slow her down. She won't stay put for long, and Tifa starts to wander through the dark, one careful step at a time to make sure that she won't just fall through, until... she breaks out into a jog that turns into a run. Not even that is enough to keep the cold at bay as it sinks deeper and deeper, but she keeps running anyway, ignoring the way everything feels harder to move.

She does wonder if she found the right place, or if this is just her own dream. It feels just like the one she had when she had called out for help. Just a black, empty void of nothing. It was cold, and she was scared. She still is, but this time, it's for a different reason. That reason being that she can't find a sign of it ending, which means a sign of Eustace...]

Eustace?

[...

Still nothing. She's not even sure that she called out his name at all. The silence is so deafening that Tifa can barely hear her voice over it, let alone in her own head...

Fire erupts from her hands with the hope that it might help to illuminate the way...?]

[flamekthunder]

[As brilliant as her flame is, the darkness is still overwhelming with nothing in sight. However, she can now see the floor beneath her is solid ice—no, perhaps it's rock frozen over. In that moment a strong burst of icy wind and snow slams into her, thunder rumbling in the distance. The force is so strong, as if to snuff out the flame and push her back.

And yet.

Carried in that biting wind are faint sounds, faint voices.

Don't look.

Leave.

Soft, but forceful. Desperate.]

[starshower]

[She still runs, even as the flames do nothing to help her. Despite the icy ground, she doesn't slow, doesn't stop, doesn't slip.

... Not until the wind and snow blast against her. Her boot trips up on the ice and she falls forward, her body hitting it with a hard slam and a groan of pain before she can even think to break her fall. It's so cold, and as she lifts herself back up to look around and continue on, she's forced to shield her face from the ice that's grazing against her skin. There's thunder roaring in the distance, and she uses that sound as her beacon, fighting against the blizzard that beats back against her, tries to keep her away.

Fighting against the voices in her head as she tries to focus on the storm. That must be where he is...]

I'm not leaving... [she growls under her breath, as if those voices could hear her.] I'm not leaving until I find you.

[Regardless of whether they will do anything to protect her from either the cold or the darkness, the flames at her hands flicker brighter as they spread past her wrist and up her arms.]

[flamekthunder]

[...

How admirable.

The voice takes a strange stone compared to before, and as Tifa's flames grow, the wind lessens...or perhaps the winds are becoming more permissive. Regardless, her fires will warm her and allow to proceed forward.

It will take some time, but eventually she will suddenly break out of the darkness like bursting through a black fog and stumble into vast field of snow. Like before, there's nothing else to see, just endless snow and cold winds that continue to try and beat against her.

This time the winds carry the sounds of a child sobbing.

No!

Why!

If only I stayed home!

I don't want to be alone!

Kill them... I'll kill them!

Can't lose...again...

From to anger back to grief and then hatred again. The voice cycles through the emotions no young boy should have, but it does as Tifa ventures forward until she spots a small figure in the far distance moving away from her.

But before she can reach him, even if she's just within her grasp, a giant wall of ice will erupt in front of her. This, too, will seem and feel familiar.]

[starshower]

[She doesn't stop. Even if the voices continue to tell her to turn back or if they mock her, Tifa keeps going. She can sense the winds dwindling, and for once, her fire keeps the cold away. She doesn't know which way she's going or if she's even walking at all anymore—the ground is moving beneath her and the storm is blowing against her, but it's difficult to tell whether or not she's moving forward towards anything.

The voices that echo out around her are loud, ringing in her head like sirens, but she knows that voice... She's heard those small sobs before, a long time ago. It walks her through her own memories, and her fire suddenly feels hotter than it should around her wrists, and she can smell the faint scent of mako in the air before it's swept away in the wind as if it were never there... but she follows those voices until...

In front of her is a small boy. She would know him anywhere...]

Wait—!

[Tifa rushes forward to him at a breakneck speed to catch up, not caring at all that her feet almost slip on the ice again...

She reaches for his shoulder when he's within her grasp, but something stops her. A massive wall of ice erects itself from the ground, shooting up and sending her falling back several steps in surprise. There's a sense of dreadful familiarity that beats in her as she looks up at it, too high to scale and too thick to punch her way through effectively, but she can see through it to the distorted shape of the boy on the other side.

...

What did she do last time?]

Eustace... You're not alone, I promise...

[She presses both her hands to the ice where the fire is burning bright and hot, and the flames try to melt it away just as they did in that dream...]

[flamekthunder]

[The fire is resisted at first, the wall seeming to thicken to obstruct her attempt. But it will eventually give way, slowly, very slowly until at least an opening forms just large enough for her to pass through. But when she does, the wall immediately seals back up, trapping her within.

In front of her is large ice cavern with several iced over paths that span over a dark, empty abyss, almost like veins. Each one is thin, ice slowly chipping away as cracks slowly form. There's a loud tremor, a distant roar—thunder?—and a few paths crumble apart reducing her options and weakening the others. It's clear if there's one wrong misstep or the path gives way, she'll fall into the darkness beneath—and she'll have to hurry before the next tremor.

But that one tremor does reveal a light on the far side of the chasm. She just has to make it over.]

[starshower]

[She doesn't even look back at how the ice closes itself back up. There are no intentions of turning back around, so she continues, walking over the ice completely unfazed by the way it cracks and groans under her weight. The tremor does make her lose her balance and she spreads her feet to try and keep herself upright as the cave shakes around her.

It's time that she picks up the pace, and with her options quickly dwindling, she breaks off into a run again, skidding when she feels herself slip a little, but she's able to at least keep up. Some of it does break under her feet, but she isn't afraid. There is no room for her to be... Not with Eustace locked up somewhere in here all on his own...

All she feels is the adrenaline moving her legs as fast as they'll go, and the need to find him pushing her faster.

She runs and runs until, from the corner of her eye, she spots a light. She's hesitant at first to run to it and wonders if she should keep on this path instead, but there's something that draws her to it. A familiar pull that tells her that this is the right way, and she stops right at the edge of this new chasm that's formed, or maybe it's been here all along.

Staring down, it's deep and dark, and she can't see the bottom...]

Are you kidding me...

[She breathes it quietly to herself before she shakes it off and backs up... Step by careful step... so that she can wind herself up and be ready for a jump. It's probably a good thing she's trained for this, or else she might not have thought she could make it, but her boots beat against the ground like rolls of thunder and as she feels her foot hit the end of the road, she kicks herself from it, using the familiarity of battle to propel herself across as the edge crumbles after her.

It's only a roll to break her fall, and she takes a moment to regain herself and catch her breath before she's forcing herself up again and heading to the light...]

[flamekthunder]

[The light will lead her to another opening, just large enough for her to pass through. As soon as she crosses over that threshold, there's a loud CRASH as the rest of the paths crumble into the abyss, and the opening behind sealing shut.

Blinding sunlight will greet her as well as the thick scent of flowers—starflowers. It's a vast field that looks so different, so bright and lively compared to what she went through before. Yet it's also...empty. The flowers sway to an invisible wind, but there's nothing here. No sounds, no people—nothing. Nothing except...

In the center there looks to be someone lying in the middle of the flowers, and when Tifa investigates she will find—herself.

Sleeping in the middle of that field all alone is the very likeness of Tifa, the flowers gently swaying over her and occasionally brushing over her cheeks. The chest rises and falls, indicating some semblance of life—but she will not stir or awaken.]

[starshower]

[Once again, moving forward, Tifa doesn't look back, even when she hears the crashing of the ice from behind. Not that there's much to see at first as her eyes try to adjust to the very sudden burst of light and the way the sun beats down on her, its warmth a very stark contrast to what she felt in the darkness.

When she finally gets her vision back, she does take a moment to look around this time. She's surrounded by star flowers. Millions of them in a field that seems to stretch on forever past the horizon. They rustle in the wind, their sweet scent being carried on its back as it swirls around her, kicking up petals as it moves over the flowers. She walks this time, minding the blossoms as much as she can, with Aerith's voice in the back of her head nitpicking at her to be careful.

Her steps only slow to a stop when she comes across someone lying in the bed of flowers, and with a silent apology to Aerith for jogging, she moves to check up on them, halting again only when she sees the spill of black hair and the fair skin against the blue.]

... Huh?

[Is that... her?

She's sleeping so soundly, her chest rising and falling. Tifa closes the distance between her and... herself, and kneels over to check. Is this her right now? Or is this how Eustace sees her? So quiet, so peaceful... the same way that she sees him as he sleeps next to her.

Tifa won't try to wake her, but instead adjusts her arms so that she—herself—is more comfortable, and she plucks a single flower from the bed and places it between her fingers...

It's a little surreal, looking down at herself. This is the kind of thing that only happens in fever dreams, and she knows that this isn't one. She knows that this is a nightmare and that this image is only going to last for so long before it all crumbles like everything else did. Still, she whispers quietly, as if this sleeping Tifa might have the answer...]

Have you seen him?

[flamekthunder]

[Rather than a voice coming in front of her, one answers from behind.]

I have.

[When she turns around, she'll find Eustace standing there... But the red eyes tell everything, even if there's no frost on his skin or dark shadows around him.

And just as he speaks, there's a tremor similar to the one in the caves that rumbles beneath them, causing the flowers to shake and sway.]

[starshower]

[It's her hope in finding him that she doesn't pick up on anything odd at first, besides the trembling of the earth beneath her.]

Eustace—!

[She whips around and to her feet, relief written clear across her features and laced in her voice at having found him, and Tifa is about to throw her arms around him, stopping just short of touching his shoulders when she sees his eyes. They aren't the soft blue that she adores, but the kind of red that could only be made of nightmares.

Tifa wrenches back before he can even think to grab her, and she places herself firmly between him and her sleeping self in the flowers. The cold clutches of fear start to grab at her, they try to pull her down into its dark, freezing depths, but she holds fast, steels herself against it, and swallows it all down.]

Where is he?

[She tries to keep the trembling out of her voice, and out of her hands as they ball into fists at her side, and she wills herself to stare into those tainted, blood-red eyes as if to challenge him.]

[flamekthunder]

[Unlike usual, "Eustace" doesn't try to reach out to her when she approaches, but he does smirk in amusement when she draws back and places herself between him and the body lying their on the ground. He only leans slightly to the side as if to take a glimpse before he focuses his attention her.]

Cute.

[He takes a step forward.]

But do you really want to find him now? You won't like what you see.

[starshower]

[He said that last time that she'd faced him, and it's true. Tifa didn't like what she saw in that first nightmare. It scared her, but only because she knew that deep down beneath all of that, Eustace was hurting. This time, she's prepared... This time, she won't let this nightmare get under her skin...]

I'm going to take my chances.

[She squeezes around the leather gloves on her hands where she can feel her frustration and anger starting to wrap around her like a hot coil waiting and wanting to snap.]

Don't make me ask again.

[flamekthunder]

[The smirk widens as his eyes flick down to her hands before back up to her face, and he continues to approach her undeterred.]

I'm only warning you for your sake...and his as well.

[He stops within arm's reach, red eyes gleaming.]

Did you ever consider he might not want you to see him? That you only make it worse?

[As if on cue, a distant roar is heard, the ground shaking more violently than before.]

[starshower]

[With his approach, Tifa takes a step back, forgetting that this other self of hers is sleeping, and she almost trips and tumbles over, and when the roar echoes in the distance, she keeps her expression even, but there is that flicker of fear in her eyes. It's brief, gone as quickly as it had come, because she knows better now than to be afraid of whatever "Eustace" wants her to fear.

This is all to get under her skin, into her head as much as it is Eustace's, because she knows that the moment she sees him, what she does will matter. Even if she's afraid of the lindwurms or of this version of him, she has no reason to be scared of the man she knows is behind it all, and who is only more afraid of it than she is.

Tifa shakes her head in response.]

I know that's not true.

[He'd said so himself... That it was important to Eustace that she accepts every side him, and she already has. Long, long before this nightmare had any reign over him. And if he needs her to prove that over and over, then she will endure this for as long as it takes.]

But you wouldn't know anything about that. You don't know a thing about him. You're stuck here... in this nightmare.

[However, her patience with him is wearing thin, if she even had any to begin with, so she will ask again this time.]

Where is he?

[flamekthunder]

[Red eyes glimmer in amusement.]

For now...

[All he takes is one step, yet he manages to cover the distance so that he's right in front of her, looming over her as he smiles.]

But since I can't refuse you, I'll lead you to him.

[The ground trembles and starts cracking beneath her before it suddenly opens up to make her fall through. Her other self can be seen floating beside the nightmare entity and he runs a finger down the pale cheek.]

So long as you exist, I'll be here for a while...


[Down down down Tifa will fall, the dark earth changing to frigid ice as the blue sky from above disappears and she's enveloped in darkness. As she falls she'll hear the sounds and cries of everything Eustace has had to face, not all of them nightmarish, but challenging all the same. The screams of a boy finding his village burned and destroyed. The barking orders of strict officers. The deathly cries of enemies and allies falling in battle, monster and human alike. Hail of bullets. Booming thunder. Clicks and whirs of machines. Water. Gasping breaths.

Dammit, no—! Come on, stay with me!

Sounds of war. The deafening roar of a cursed creature that shakes the seemingly neverending tunnel, echoing so loud it will shake her to her bones.

No, I... What did I...??

I'm sorry—I'm so sorry—

No—no no no Tifa no—please, Tifa—Tifa—NO—!

The ice walls stained blue and black flicker as streaks of dark red flow down, some dripping on her as the thick smell of iron fills the space before at last her fall is broken by a deep red pool.]

[starshower]

["So long as you exist, I'll be here for a while..."

Those words sink deep, digging their claws into her heart and burning themselves into her mind. She tries to remind herself that isn't true... That this is all just a figment of their imaginations. Visions created and manifested from their greatest fears. That Eustace won't have to suffer for long... things will go back to normal. They will...

... Won't they?

Tifa isn't given much time to think it through or shake it off, because the ground breaks beneath her again and she's falling... tumbling through darkness again. She lets herself fall, closing her eyes as she feels the air grow colder and colder, and as she listens to the voices.

His voice.

A young boy... a hardened soldier... a protector...

...A man shackled by a curse...

Her eyes snap open when she feels the trickling of something warm on her skin, and when she wipes it away, she sees the deep red colour as it drips from the walls and the ceiling of this endless rift. Blood? Tifa gasps, but it's all she can do before her body crashes into a pool. She has no chance to brace herself, and she resurfaces quickly, gasping and coughing to breathe the air back into her lungs as she wades, searching around her for him. What little light there is, she can see that the water is red... or, is this even water!? She swims one way and then the other, looking for a surface to climb to. The smell of iron is so thick that she feels herself gag in the back of her throat, but she coughs it off.

She isn't going to break. She isn't going to break...]

Eustace!

[She cries out, her voice edged with desperation now, and it echoes off the pool and the icy walls, hoping... praying that he'll hear her.]

CW: gore, body mutilation, blood, death, it's like a lot of stuff

[flamekthunder]

[There won't be an answer but she will eventually be able to see a crack through the walls that will allow her to swim through. Here lightning flashes over the bloody, icy walls, illuminating the way but revealing gruesome shadows sealed within. Mangled bodies both human and monster appear trapped within, echoes of their ghastly screams before ripples of lightning cut them off. Eventually she will find a ledge to pull herself up onto a narrow, singular path, the air chilling.

As she walks, her shoes will squelch along the bloodied ground, the shadows within the iced walls becoming more visceral and soon—recognizable.

Beat missing his side and arm as if ripped away, neck crushed.

Trahearne and Oriphi frozen with their chests torn open, charred by lightning.

Beatrix face down, burnt and torn asunder, barely recognizable.

Aerith hanging on the short ceiling skewered through the chest.

Susato bloated and ghastly blue, hands outstretched as if clawing for air.

A few feet more and she'll stumble over something—a frozen arm that rolls down the path she just came. And when she looks forward she will find herself in what looks like a horrific battlefield, dyed red and black. Lightning rips through the blood red skies as black ice rises from the bloodied ground. And scattered everywhere are various corpses...of her.

Frozen over, drowned, cut or clawed through, burned, torn apart—the bodies lie scattered, some piled on top of each other. It seems endless.

And in the distance a blood curdling scream is heard—of her own voice. It's followed by a ghastly roar of a black lindwurm, its bloodied fangs bared as it lunges to strike the woman running away.]

[starshower]

[She's almost out of breath by the time she swims through the small opening, trying to stay afloat while her body struggles against the cold. It's hard, and she can feel her muscles starting to tire out, her heart trying to pump as much oxygen as it can to each extremity to keep her warm. Not even the heat at her fingertips helps, if she can even get her dreamotion lit before it burns out again.

Tifa is worn and tired and cold, but she's come too far to turn back. Even if she was bloodied and bruised and almost torn apart, she still wouldn't. She would keep going—she will keep going, because she knows that somewhere in this twisting, icy abyss is the man she loves, and regardless of what form he's taken, she came all this way to help him. To bring him back...

The flash of lightning is what pulls her out of those thoughts, and illuminates the room bright enough and long enough for her to see where she is, what she's surrounded by...

Her gasp echoes through the chamber and she'd been trying to keep her mouth shut even as she breathes, but in her panic—in the moment she thinks her heart seizes in her chest and she might drown—she swallows a mouthful of the water and almost chokes. She's desperate to find the shore, and so she swims to pull herself up, and she coughs and coughs until the water comes up and out of her lungs and she feels the burn of tears erupting in her eyes.

She must have mistaken what she saw... Bloodied bodies in the ice... Both human and monster... She refuses to look back up to check, but that split second when the flash had shown her was enough to burn the image into her mind forever. She sobs and frantically tries to push it away, to bury it beneath images of a field of wildflowers rustling in the wind at sunset. Her ears are ringing, and she can still hear the ungodly screams in her mind, but she tries to drown out the sounds by trying to imagine—remember the chaotic sound of dogs barking and his laughter among their chorus. To anyone else, it might just be noise but to Tifa, it's like music.

Something happy...]

Ngh...

[She pushes herself up and out of the water, her skin and clothes stained red and her breathing uneven and ragged while her heart tries to catch up with the rest of her, and although she's tired, she pushes forward, one step at a time. Her fists flicker with a dim orange light to help illuminate the way, and though it isn't a lot, not much of it is needed... And as she presses onward, she isn't sure that she wants it to be.

The sound of her boots on the ground makes her stomach turn. They splash in something... Then the ground becomes uneven, like she's no longer stepping on anything purely solid, but like it's wet. Covered in...

Her hand lifts up to the ice that's spread across the walls, and there's a high-pitched scream that shatters the silence of the cavern. She's suddenly face-to-face with Beat, mangled and torn, his neck looking like it had been shattered, his arm missing, and Tifa stumbles back against the opposite wall in a panic...

Only to be met with Ori and Trahearne on the other side of the ice. She doesn't even have it in her to scream—her voice left her with the last one, and now all she can do is breathe. Panic as she looks the pair over with wide, horrified, teary eyes.

... What the hell is going on?

Her gaze lingers, steady on them for a moment longer, as if trying to take in the sight—remember it—before she turns and walks on, slowly. Carefully... Like she's expecting the worst the further she goes. She can hear her breaths echoing off the walls, and see them turn to mist as everything gets colder... colder...

She sees Beatrix next, her body charred and burnt by lightning. The only thing that remains familiar and in tact about her is her sword. Tifa swallows, and tears start to fall.

But she goes on...

It's Susato she sees next in the ice, and Tifa sobs quietly, her teeth biting down on her lip to stop herself from making too much noise, not wanting to draw the attention of the nightmare that she knows is watching her from somewhere in this place. Her fingers press to the ice, up against where Susato's hand reaches out, but she doesn't try to melt it away.

Instead, she looks up to see Aerith, hung only by the sword that's pierced through her chest, her body ghostly white and limp. Lifeless.

Just as these are Eustace's fears, they are Tifa's too. And for a moment, she stands there, staring at them all as they surround her. Remind her again and again as her eyes flick between each one of her dearest friends that she had failed in protecting them. That they are here, in this place, because of here. That Eustace sees all this too, whether he recognizes it or not. She doesn't even try to muster up her resolve or steel herself, but she allows the grief to come over her. All of that guilt surge through her in a wave, and she cries quietly to herself for a moment, forcing herself to spend some time looking at each one of them. Forcing herself to remember what they had gone through for her...

It's the roar in the distance and the scream that pulls her back, and another streak of lightning that lights up the blood-red skies. She would know that roar anywhere, and that woman's scream...]

Eustace—!

[Her feet begin to move, she's prepared to run after them now, but the second she turns, she feels her boot snag on something and she tumbles forward... but there's something there that breaks her fall.'

Bodies. Hundreds of them... And all of them are...

Tifa's own scream echoes the one that had just rung out. It's the same high, blood-curdling shriek when she recognizes what she sees. It's her own body... So, so many of them... As if a field of flowers had taken a dark turn... She falls back only to stumble into more. Some of them are burnt, some are blue as if drowned, others are frozen or completely bloodied and torn apart... But no matter where she looks, no matter how far out she tries to see, it's nothing but... her... dead...

Her fight or flight response kicks in, and it's thanks to the fear and the adrenaline that jolts to life inside of her that she can even get up through her heavy, speedy breaths. Though she can't even move a step without her foot bumping into a torn arm or leg, so she simply stands there... looking around her... searching desperately for a way out. Her tears start to fall more freely as she's lost the will to fight them, and she balls her hands into her fists and screams—]

Enough!

[Around her feet, fire bursts forth from the ground to envelop the bodies laying around her, but whether that's enough to burn them all away or to draw out the nightmare, she doesn't care. If he wants to find her, if he wants to follow her, then he can. He should.

Tifa lets the fire spread, encourages it to, and she stomps and kicks aside the bodies as the flames kiss her skin towards the bellowing of the lindwurm.]

[flamekthunder]

[It's agony.

Nauseating.

Torture.

Once again Eustace finds himself trapped in a horrific nightmare that he can't seem to free himself from.

From the moment that beautiful, peaceful field broke, he had fallen through that exact same hole, dropped into that exact same pool of blood, and had to endure that walk out of the grisly tunnel. Except for him, he could hear them. The voices, the crying, the screams, the swearing, the laughter, the roaring, the howling. Truthfully only the beginning and the end had affected him the most.

It had started with the remnants of his family and members of his home village, the memories of their remains scarred forever in his brain. However, as painful as it had been, he had been able to endure...at least at first. What Tifa did not see or wouldn't have been able to notice is the small body of his younger brother, and how there had been a bullet hole through his head. Although he knew in truth what he shot back then was an Otherwordly Being that had desecrated his brother's memory and created a fake doppleganger, he still had shot at an image of his brother. ....And he still feels the guilt of the what if. He had tried to ignore those words that abomination had said, that Savini had found the device and brought back to their home to show everyone...to show him, wanting to follow in his footsteps to go on adventures and finding things.

If he had stayed home and helped with the chores, would he have stopped him? Or would he...would he at least be with them? Enough years have gone by for him to no longer feel survivor's guilt, but here, in this cave, it rears up like the first day it happened. It forced him to clutch his head and shut his eyes, to desperately remind himself that he had moved on, he had moved forward. He'll always carry them, but what he wanted to remember was the happy the memories, not this. Anything but this.

Everything onward...he was able to look with a steadier eye. The people and monsters he had to kill and destroy, the orders he followed. Some justified, others... He never took a mission he didn't believe had a just or valid reason, but after he realized the truth about Society's organization, he had gone back and started to question. Were there some missions he should have avoided? Or what if he hadn't changed and followed that order to kill Lyria and Gran? An order like that...he would have followed no questions asked, but he had changed. Were some of these lives he took more innocent than he knew? Still, as gruesome as it was, it had allowed him to refocus, to force himself forward. He also knew...that with this trend more would come and he could make guesses as to what expect. And he was right.

When he saw Beat, his hand started to shake, his breathing quickening again. At first he looked away, but then he found himself being pulled back. To stare at what happened...and what could have happened. His steps slowed as if caught in a puppet's string, he was forced to look at everyone, look at their faces...hear their voices. For Eustace, their hollowed eyes followed him as he passed, and their loose mouths flapped to whisper blame and anger. The fear they now held for him, the contempt and betrayal.

How could you?

We were your friends...

Weak.

He grit his teeth, nails digging into his palms so deep his own blood mixed with what was dried there. Rationally, he knew this wasn't what they thought. Yet that fear...that uncertainty... It overshadowed those feeble thoughts until he finally exited the cave—

And it was empty.

For Eustace, the field was completely barren, with only the blood red skies and charred earth. He had expected something else to appear, but...there was nothing. Even as he stepped further in nothing appeared...until he head a crack beneath his boot. Looking down, he froze when he saw something white, and with a trembling hand he crouched down and touched it.

...Bone.

Slowly looking beyond the site, he saw more pieces jutting and a skull half covered in the dirt. His heart pounded so loudly he could barely hear himself breathe, no thoughts coming to him as he scrambled to the dirt and dug it out, his nails and fingertips bleeding by the end of it. And he could have only stare down, his body shaking as he gasps for air that refuses to come.

Black hair. Torn clothes. Broken chain.

A dream a nightmare, he continued to desperately chant to himself before he angrily staggers upright. He shouts, yelling for the nightmare entity he knew was still plaguing him. Yelling at himself to end this. The only answer he got in return was the skeleton suddenly rising and latching onto him, startling him as he found himself unable to move.

Eustace...

Such a sweet, beautiful whispered into his ear before the next words made him freeze.

...You're hurting me...

As he was held captive, Tifa suddenly appeared in front of him, smiling her beautiful smile. But then she started to crumble into dust and ash until there was nothing left. Another one appeared, only for her head to be sliced off by an invisible blade. A third, this time run through by a spear of ice. A fourth—clawed through the chest. A fifth. Sixth—

Each time he struggled, each time he screamed, each time he lost more and more of his rational mind. Lightning rained down, but they struck the ones who appeared, and these would be the first ones he actually destroyed himself. Even though he knew they weren't real, just the sight and realization of it was enough for the darkness that was growing around him to take hold and twist it.

Until at last all the pent up rage erupted around him. Reaching back he blasted he skeleton with lightning and forged a version of Flame into his hand. In his mind he tried to look at each version of Tifa just like the Otherwordly Being that impersonated his younger brother. An imposter. An abomination. If he could get rid of them... If he could somehow end this...

He aimed for his first shot, but he couldn't do it—it was Tifa's face that was at the other end of the barrel. She looked scared, whispering his name in desperate pleas. How could he harm her? But it was then that he felt a piercing pain through his back and a dark shroud enveloping me. Laughter echoed in his mind as his body changed until changed into that accursed lindworm. He yelled in rage and pain, the entire process agonizing.

Kill her, the voice whispered, kill her and you'll be free.

He tried to resist, tried to think of another way. Of focusing on a different way to break out of here. Of just waking the fuck up—!!

But there was a scream, and when he looked he could only stare wide eyed at Tifa's body dangling at the end of his claws, completely pierced through. He swore he didn't even move, so how...??

It was then that he realized.

The body was moving on its own.

Onward it flew through the area, striking at every single version of Tifa that appeared. Each time Eustace would shout and try to force it to stop, but he couldn't.

He was completely helpless. Completely out of control.

The only thing he could do was scream, trapped in this neverending hell.



When Tifa finally arrives, he had been through so much, his mind and will on the brink of complete collapse. He doesn't recognize her as different from the others, so he just watches with blank, empty eyes as the lindwurm first crushes the body it was chasing and tosses it to the side before turning to the one charging at it. With red, burning eyes filled with rage and despair, it rushes to meet her, claws raised to strike.

The only difference is this one is fighting back with fire...

...

...Fighting back...?

......Fire....?]

[starshower]

[It's a difficult trek through, and the number of times that Tifa almost loses her footing as she trips over another body is too high to keep count. Not that she's been keeping track. Her eyes have been focused on the lindwurm ahead, watching as it crushes another with its hands and tosses the lifeless body aside as if it were nothing at all before it's turning its bright red eyes to her.

Before Eustace is turning his red eyes to her...

She can't even stand there and try to convince herself that she isn't afraid as he charges at her. She's not even sure she wishes to. For once, maybe for the first time in as long as Tifa can remember, she instead tries to take hold of her worst fears...

She recalls how heavy that sword felt in her hands all those years ago, and still, she picked it up and carried onward anyway. She walked through those doors into the reactor and faced Sephiroth herself... and for a moment, the smell of mako replaces that of the smoke in her head. Instead of the lindwurm's roars, she hears the whirr of the reactor and the sound of her boots hitting the steel floor.

When he's within reach, Tifa is forced to duck and roll out of the way, narrowly dodging him to dive into a heap of the bodies and ignoring the haunting and morbid way they topple and fall over one another. Fire burns away at them as the flames spread, and her skin is turning black from the ash and smoke that's billowing into the air and almost suffocating her.

But she tries to see through it for him as she climbs back to her feet, kicking more of the heavy, dead limbs aside to give herself some space to stand and move. It isn't much, but it's something, and the hotter the fire burns, the more it gives her.

Before he can come back around at her again, she shouts over the crackling flames.]

Eustace, this is just a dream. All of this? She gestures to the room. It's not real. It's just the nightmare playing tricks on you...!

...It's me...

[The real Tifa. His Tifa.]

[flamekthunder]

[The lindwurm rams into a smoldering pile, growling as it whips back around, tail slamming through another. The flames from earlier had caught and has slowly begun to spread, the bodies at first charring and melting before they begin to disappear into ash, as if purified. The stench reeks, but even after the bodies have disappeared the fire continues to burn, expanding further and further...

Until ice erupts from beneath the lindwurm, racing over the bloodied ground towards Tifa as if to try and trap her. The lindwurm flies after it, once more wanting to tear her apart.

This fake...

This curse.....

A curse made worse with how this one now tries to speak and stand up to him. Before they just ran, try to convince him she was the real one, but now he's being forced to fight? Is this how it will go now?]

[starshower]

...

[It didn't work? The last time, it had. The last time, her voice reached him, and he'd listened... Knew that it was her, but this... The anger behind those red eyes she knows is just the nightmare twisting all of his own fears and turning them against him, and that beneath it all is just a man who is afraid. Who's lost himself once more amidst all the pain this place has caused him...

It's just a matter of helping him find himself again...

Except this time, it's just a dream. Nothing more.

The ice moves too fast for her to dive out of its way, so all she can do is lift her arms, using the fires and the armour of her gloves to shield herself from the impact. It hurts, and it beats her back as her boots dig into the scorched dirt to hold her ground. She groans under the pressure, feels it biting at the bare skin on her arms, but when she lowers her arms, it's with flames lapping at her gloves to try and fight back against the ice.

Except even as he comes at her with the intent to kill burning in those slitted eyes, she can't quite bring her fists up to meet him.]

Please...! I don't want to—

[She ducks this time as he comes near, and rather than diving aside into the fire, she lets his body slip over her so that she can kick his tail instead, trapping the very end of it against the floor to get his attention with a thunderous BOOM before she frees him.]

Eustace... Please don't make me do it...

[flamekthunder]

[There is some surprise when she catches him by the tail, the body slamming to the ground. For a moment the body lies still as if stunned, and in the dark recesses of the mind, Eustace stares blankly out, this time not out of weariness and fatigue, but of genuine loss of comprehension.

While some of the clones had put up resistance, they never showed this much force, this much effort to stop him. They were all driven by fear, unable to do much. Yet this one... This one is behaving differently.

Could...it be...?

For a brief moment as the upper body rises on its own to coil around, there's a flicker of blue in the hate filled eyes. But them the visions, the thought that this was just another layer to this nightmare, that now he has be locked in battle to the ones who try to save him stabs into his mind. There's a fierce shake of the lindwurm's head, and when it ends the red has returned and it forcibly wrenches its tail free, swinging it upward and then back to slam into her with the intent to send her flying unless she manages to get away.

As the body continues to move, inside Eustace continues to wrestle with the idea of what's going on.

If it's a clone, then the torture continues but it's not the real one, just abominations...an agonizing exercise as if to try and force him to grow numb to it all. But if it's real... If it's the real Tifa...]

[starshower]

[It's hard to miss that flicker of blue, the redness and the burning hatred replaced briefly by confusion, and she's taken by it, stalling in that second, and it's all he needs to get the hit in. She doesn't get away, but she hears the way the tail cuts right through the thick air, splicing away the smoke as it swings around at her. She blocks the hit the same way she did the ice, and she holds fast against the sheer force of the collision, but this time, her knees buckle under the pressure, and she reels back just in time to dodge the tip of it nicking her stomach.]

Please...

[Tifa begs again quietly and beneath a grunt as she rights herself again, her back nearly up against the wall now, with no way to go but forward. To him.

When she looks up again, there's nothing left of the blue in his eyes, only the red anger. He's hit his breaking point and been pushed to his limit... Does he even recognize her anymore? Can he even differentiate her from all the hundreds of other versions of Tifa that he's destroyed, or has his pain completely deafened him to her voice? She knows that won't be the last of the hits—he seems too far gone to care, and the thrash of his tail had been more relentless than she anticipated...

...

.....

She huffs out a sigh.]

You're really not giving me a choice, huh?

...

I'm so sorry...

[She murmurs the apology under her breath before there's a blast of red, fiery energy that surges around her. It's like a shot of adrenaline into her veins, and her muscles burn with new strength.

She really wishes she didn't have to do this... But if he's going to keep coming at her, then...

She thinks back to the lindwurms at the Cliffside and how frozen in fear she was. She remembers the feel of their claws tearing open her skin, and the light when the glass moon around her neck shattered. She remembers Eustace's cries for help, his voice breaking as he begged her to stay with him.

Then, the abomination that crawled out of the lake and took down their friends one by one. How he smiled and grinned through it all, and how his voice was so twisted when he caressed her face... How cold his lips were when she kissed him...

In her head, Tifa can hear him... Screaming.

Every ounce of fear they've both felt today and in the past, every bit of hurt, every memory of his suffering and every tear they've cried for each other... They all coil up into her fists where they burn bright in the fires.

Whatever he intends to do this time, or if he even attacks her at all, he'll be met halfway with a tackle—Omnistrike into a Whirling Uppercut to the lindwurm's chin—with hopefully enough power to at least knock some goddamn sense back into him, or knock the nightmare right out of his head.




But this isn't just for him. This is for Tifa too.]