tifa lockhart. (
starshower) wrote in
songerein2022-09-02 04:42 pm
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Entry tags:
closed ⚡🌠 can we come back from this
Who: Eustace & Tifa
Which: Closed log
Where: Their treehouse, corgi tree, maybe some other places
What: After Eustace's Noctaere episode, he and Tifa try to put their relationship back together.
Warnings: Trauma, lots of sads, and then probably gross fluff after.
[It had been a struggle even getting home. After they and the others had arrived at Ori's home together, it was at Tifa's insistence that she and Eustace go back to theirs. For as grateful and appreciative as she was for all their help in saving the both of them, there are some things that Tifa would rather they be alone for, and this... whatever this is, is one of them. Never mind the guilt that she feels for having been the one to put them all through it—Eustace can argue with her all he likes, and they can all contend that they shouldn't feel that way, that none of it was her fault, but ever since she woke up from her weakened and frozen state, Tifa couldn't look any one of them in the eye.
Including Eustace.
Even as she walks with their arms slung around each other for support with Eria at their side, the journey home is silent. Only the stirrings of dawn can be heard—the birds that chirp in the canopies, the sound of dew dripping from the leaves, but nothing is quite so loud as their staggered footsteps, or her heart beating wildly in her chest, and her blood roaring in her ears.
Tifa tries to keep her anxiety to a minimum, tries to keep her thoughts straight, but all she can see are the claws of those lindworms as they came down to strike, and their scales that shimmered as they slithered around her. All she can hear are his desperate cries, and the sound of ice and electricity crackling as her vision darkened and her consciousness had begun to fade... She remembers the chill, the grips of death when it threatened to consume her, how cold his fingers were as they brushed against her face. The red in his eyes...
And then when she woke and saw the destruction he'd left behind. Saw her friends bruised and battered from battle. Saw him like that...
The thought is cut short by a sharp breath when they finally arrive at the foot of the stairs leading up to their home, her boot bumping against them when she hadn't been paying attention. The climb up is as dreadful as everything else had been, and she can feel the heat under her boots, the fires that try to claw their way out of the cage she tries to lock them in, to struggle against the trail of ice that forms in their wake. Even the tree's branches and leaves shudder as they walk through the front door, the flowers that decorate their tree that were once bright and vibrant freezing over and shriveling up, dying without a fighting chance.
It isn't until they're safely inside that Tifa so much as looks at him for the first time since they were at Ori's. Perhaps even before. Really looks at him. He's bruised and cut up, and he looks more tired than she's ever seen him.
Her hands fold together as she skirts her gaze away again, down to where she tries to stop her fingers from trembling when she bites back the urge to sob.
Tifa wants to say something, but... what is she even supposed to say? What can she say right now that would make this easier for both of them? She searches and searches her mind for an answer to the question that's been wracking her since they left the cliffside, but she's still coming up short of nothing.
Eria trots over and nudges Tifa with her nose, as if to encourage her to say something to break this tense silence before it all snaps. So, she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind in a voice so tiny that she's not even sure she's said anything at all, and it crackles, as if this is the first time she's ever spoken a word in her life. It certainly feels that way right now.]
... Do you want to get cleaned up first?
[First.
She kicks herself for it. Any other day and she would have suggested together, but her fear—not of him, but fear for them—is getting the better of her, and maybe that's for the best.]
Which: Closed log
Where: Their treehouse, corgi tree, maybe some other places
What: After Eustace's Noctaere episode, he and Tifa try to put their relationship back together.
Warnings: Trauma, lots of sads, and then probably gross fluff after.
[It had been a struggle even getting home. After they and the others had arrived at Ori's home together, it was at Tifa's insistence that she and Eustace go back to theirs. For as grateful and appreciative as she was for all their help in saving the both of them, there are some things that Tifa would rather they be alone for, and this... whatever this is, is one of them. Never mind the guilt that she feels for having been the one to put them all through it—Eustace can argue with her all he likes, and they can all contend that they shouldn't feel that way, that none of it was her fault, but ever since she woke up from her weakened and frozen state, Tifa couldn't look any one of them in the eye.
Including Eustace.
Even as she walks with their arms slung around each other for support with Eria at their side, the journey home is silent. Only the stirrings of dawn can be heard—the birds that chirp in the canopies, the sound of dew dripping from the leaves, but nothing is quite so loud as their staggered footsteps, or her heart beating wildly in her chest, and her blood roaring in her ears.
Tifa tries to keep her anxiety to a minimum, tries to keep her thoughts straight, but all she can see are the claws of those lindworms as they came down to strike, and their scales that shimmered as they slithered around her. All she can hear are his desperate cries, and the sound of ice and electricity crackling as her vision darkened and her consciousness had begun to fade... She remembers the chill, the grips of death when it threatened to consume her, how cold his fingers were as they brushed against her face. The red in his eyes...
And then when she woke and saw the destruction he'd left behind. Saw her friends bruised and battered from battle. Saw him like that...
The thought is cut short by a sharp breath when they finally arrive at the foot of the stairs leading up to their home, her boot bumping against them when she hadn't been paying attention. The climb up is as dreadful as everything else had been, and she can feel the heat under her boots, the fires that try to claw their way out of the cage she tries to lock them in, to struggle against the trail of ice that forms in their wake. Even the tree's branches and leaves shudder as they walk through the front door, the flowers that decorate their tree that were once bright and vibrant freezing over and shriveling up, dying without a fighting chance.
It isn't until they're safely inside that Tifa so much as looks at him for the first time since they were at Ori's. Perhaps even before. Really looks at him. He's bruised and cut up, and he looks more tired than she's ever seen him.
Her hands fold together as she skirts her gaze away again, down to where she tries to stop her fingers from trembling when she bites back the urge to sob.
Tifa wants to say something, but... what is she even supposed to say? What can she say right now that would make this easier for both of them? She searches and searches her mind for an answer to the question that's been wracking her since they left the cliffside, but she's still coming up short of nothing.
Eria trots over and nudges Tifa with her nose, as if to encourage her to say something to break this tense silence before it all snaps. So, she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind in a voice so tiny that she's not even sure she's said anything at all, and it crackles, as if this is the first time she's ever spoken a word in her life. It certainly feels that way right now.]
... Do you want to get cleaned up first?
[First.
She kicks herself for it. Any other day and she would have suggested together, but her fear—not of him, but fear for them—is getting the better of her, and maybe that's for the best.]
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[He shifts slightly so that he's looking up at her, eyes meeting hers.]
...In fact...you should want me to worry about you.
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I know you will.
[Tifa leans in to kiss the tip of his nose.]
I just want to make sure you get a real sleep. I'll be fine... [As if her body is trying to prove a point, she yawns.] I'm already starting to drift off myself, but... I wanted to make sure you could first.
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[He doesn't look too convinced...but he's also too exhausted to argue the point further. If she has a bad dream...he's certain he'll notice and rush to her aid. And he knows she'll do the same. So he just stares at her for a moment longer before he leans up for a proper kiss, one that lingers and steeped in the warm love and care he holds for her.]
...Sweet dreams.
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And when he pulls back, she lets him find a spot on her chest again while her fingers continue to brush over his ears, massaging them until she finally feels his breaths even out, and his body relax over hers.]
Sweet dreams.
[She follows not long after, and she slides into that spot against him where she was made to fit, and tumbles into a light but dreamless sleep of her own...]
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It's peaceful. Quiet. Everything he could ever want...to last forever.
Until at some point, a strange...clicking sound breaks through the soft ripples of the flowers. It starts faint, steady, and it takes him a moment to realize it ticks in time to the sound of Tifa's heart. But then it steadily grows louder, and his eyes snap open as he sits up to stare at Tifa who only smiles at him curiously, her brilliant red eyes questioning his actions and almost beckoning him to return. She reaches out to him, and although he can't shake off the strange feeling, he softly smiles and reaches out in turn to touch her cheek, wanting to brush back her hair.
But the moment he does, ice erupts from his hands and he jerks back wide eyed as he can only watch in horror as the ice quickly encases her, her form turning more into statue of ice.
Ha... Ha...
The ticking sound continues, and he doesn't realize his ragged breaths are in time to it as he looks around. It's then he hears that ominous crackling of ice beneath him, and as he hastily staggers to feet the ice spreads out through the once vibrant field, freezing everything in its path.]
...No—this is a dream.
[He realizes then, that what he's seeing is another dream, another nightmare. He needs to steel himself, try and take control of it. Force himself to wake up before it gets worse.
But that ticking sound...the sound of a heartbeat.
Although he tries to resist, his eyes turn back to where Tifa remains frozen, her expression still so peaceful and oblivious to what happened.
Tick tick tick
Thump thump thump
...If he gets her out, maybe this could all turn around. If he can just heat up the ice, imagine the warmth he gives her, remember their love—
He can do this.
There's nothing to fear.
The ticking and beating grow louder, pounding in unison as he reaches out to that extended hand frozen in midair, as if reaching out to him. He pictures her smile, her laugh, her radiance—
The fear in her eyes.
It was for a moment. Just a very brief flicker. But it would prove to be a fatal one as that terrified expression from that night appears on the statue's face right as his fingertips had brushed against hers. A loud crack echoes loudly through the space, the hand breaking apart.]
—!
[Piece by piece she falls, each one in time to that ticking beating sound that thunders in his head. And when the last piece falls—
Tick
Thump
—
There's a heavy weight of silence before everything breaks apart around him.
When they had fallen asleep nestled close together, the room had been warm, flowers blooming here and there as if absorbing that warmth to transform into soft glittering lights. But now a cold chill descends upon them, the lights extinguishing in a flash to plummet everything into darkness. Eustace stirs, the hand that had been around Tifa's waist digging into her as he gasps in his sleep—until a sharp cold will pierce her skin, ice forming around his fingertips and slowly frosting over his body.]
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Watching as his fingers at her waist slowly begin to frost over, the ice creeping up his hand and over the bedsheets, and there's the leftover residue of it clinging to her own skin, burning into it just like it had back in the cave...]
No... Not now...
[She should have expected it, should have seen it coming, but ever the optimist that she is, Tifa hoped that the day they spent together would have been enough to allow him the night to sleep in peace. She shouldn't have been so foolish to think that. She should have stayed awake longer... to make sure that he was okay... She doesn't even know how long it's been, but it doesn't matter.
Tifa grabs him by the shoulder and shakes him, gently at first.]
Eustace, wake up...
[But the further the ice begins to spread, the more desperate her attempts become.]
Eustace, please wake up...!
[But whatever it is he's stuck in, there's no getting out, and his condition is getting worse. His breathing is growing into more harried gasps, and she can't seem to wake him no matter how much she tries to shake him. Whatever nightmare's clutches he's fallen into, it's clear that it isn't going to let him out. She's panicking, her own breathing quickening now, but that isn't going to do her much good.
So with a deep breath, she places her hand on his cheek and brushes his hair back to press a kiss to his cold forehead.]
Hold on, okay? I'm coming...
[She would be there to catch him when he stumbles, and if it's in a nightmare, then she'll face her worst fears to do it.
It won't take long at all for her to slip into his dream, but when she's there, it's still. Silent. Dark...
Tifa calls out.]
... Eustace?
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But it is cold, and the longer she stays the colder it gets.]
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She does wonder if she found the right place, or if this is just her own dream. It feels just like the one she had when she had called out for help. Just a black, empty void of nothing. It was cold, and she was scared. She still is, but this time, it's for a different reason. That reason being that she can't find a sign of it ending, which means a sign of Eustace...]
Eustace?
[...
Still nothing. She's not even sure that she called out his name at all. The silence is so deafening that Tifa can barely hear her voice over it, let alone in her own head...
Fire erupts from her hands with the hope that it might help to illuminate the way...?]
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And yet.
Carried in that biting wind are faint sounds, faint voices.
Don't look.
Leave.
Soft, but forceful. Desperate.]
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... Not until the wind and snow blast against her. Her boot trips up on the ice and she falls forward, her body hitting it with a hard slam and a groan of pain before she can even think to break her fall. It's so cold, and as she lifts herself back up to look around and continue on, she's forced to shield her face from the ice that's grazing against her skin. There's thunder roaring in the distance, and she uses that sound as her beacon, fighting against the blizzard that beats back against her, tries to keep her away.
Fighting against the voices in her head as she tries to focus on the storm. That must be where he is...]
I'm not leaving... [she growls under her breath, as if those voices could hear her.] I'm not leaving until I find you.
[Regardless of whether they will do anything to protect her from either the cold or the darkness, the flames at her hands flicker brighter as they spread past her wrist and up her arms.]
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How admirable.
The voice takes a strange stone compared to before, and as Tifa's flames grow, the wind lessens...or perhaps the winds are becoming more permissive. Regardless, her fires will warm her and allow to proceed forward.
It will take some time, but eventually she will suddenly break out of the darkness like bursting through a black fog and stumble into vast field of snow. Like before, there's nothing else to see, just endless snow and cold winds that continue to try and beat against her.
This time the winds carry the sounds of a child sobbing.
No!
Why!
If only I stayed home!
I don't want to be alone!
Kill them... I'll kill them!
Can't lose...again...
From to anger back to grief and then hatred again. The voice cycles through the emotions no young boy should have, but it does as Tifa ventures forward until she spots a small figure in the far distance moving away from her.
But before she can reach him, even if she's just within her grasp, a giant wall of ice will erupt in front of her. This, too, will seem and feel familiar.]
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The voices that echo out around her are loud, ringing in her head like sirens, but she knows that voice... She's heard those small sobs before, a long time ago. It walks her through her own memories, and her fire suddenly feels hotter than it should around her wrists, and she can smell the faint scent of mako in the air before it's swept away in the wind as if it were never there... but she follows those voices until...
In front of her is a small boy. She would know him anywhere...]
Wait—!
[Tifa rushes forward to him at a breakneck speed to catch up, not caring at all that her feet almost slip on the ice again...
She reaches for his shoulder when he's within her grasp, but something stops her. A massive wall of ice erects itself from the ground, shooting up and sending her falling back several steps in surprise. There's a sense of dreadful familiarity that beats in her as she looks up at it, too high to scale and too thick to punch her way through effectively, but she can see through it to the distorted shape of the boy on the other side.
...
What did she do last time?]
Eustace... You're not alone, I promise...
[She presses both her hands to the ice where the fire is burning bright and hot, and the flames try to melt it away just as they did in that dream...]
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In front of her is large ice cavern with several iced over paths that span over a dark, empty abyss, almost like veins. Each one is thin, ice slowly chipping away as cracks slowly form. There's a loud tremor, a distant roar—thunder?—and a few paths crumble apart reducing her options and weakening the others. It's clear if there's one wrong misstep or the path gives way, she'll fall into the darkness beneath—and she'll have to hurry before the next tremor.
But that one tremor does reveal a light on the far side of the chasm. She just has to make it over.]
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It's time that she picks up the pace, and with her options quickly dwindling, she breaks off into a run again, skidding when she feels herself slip a little, but she's able to at least keep up. Some of it does break under her feet, but she isn't afraid. There is no room for her to be... Not with Eustace locked up somewhere in here all on his own...
All she feels is the adrenaline moving her legs as fast as they'll go, and the need to find him pushing her faster.
She runs and runs until, from the corner of her eye, she spots a light. She's hesitant at first to run to it and wonders if she should keep on this path instead, but there's something that draws her to it. A familiar pull that tells her that this is the right way, and she stops right at the edge of this new chasm that's formed, or maybe it's been here all along.
Staring down, it's deep and dark, and she can't see the bottom...]
Are you kidding me...
[She breathes it quietly to herself before she shakes it off and backs up... Step by careful step... so that she can wind herself up and be ready for a jump. It's probably a good thing she's trained for this, or else she might not have thought she could make it, but her boots beat against the ground like rolls of thunder and as she feels her foot hit the end of the road, she kicks herself from it, using the familiarity of battle to propel herself across as the edge crumbles after her.
It's only a roll to break her fall, and she takes a moment to regain herself and catch her breath before she's forcing herself up again and heading to the light...]
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Blinding sunlight will greet her as well as the thick scent of flowers—starflowers. It's a vast field that looks so different, so bright and lively compared to what she went through before. Yet it's also...empty. The flowers sway to an invisible wind, but there's nothing here. No sounds, no people—nothing. Nothing except...
In the center there looks to be someone lying in the middle of the flowers, and when Tifa investigates she will find—herself.
Sleeping in the middle of that field all alone is the very likeness of Tifa, the flowers gently swaying over her and occasionally brushing over her cheeks. The chest rises and falls, indicating some semblance of life—but she will not stir or awaken.]
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When she finally gets her vision back, she does take a moment to look around this time. She's surrounded by star flowers. Millions of them in a field that seems to stretch on forever past the horizon. They rustle in the wind, their sweet scent being carried on its back as it swirls around her, kicking up petals as it moves over the flowers. She walks this time, minding the blossoms as much as she can, with Aerith's voice in the back of her head nitpicking at her to be careful.
Her steps only slow to a stop when she comes across someone lying in the bed of flowers, and with a silent apology to Aerith for jogging, she moves to check up on them, halting again only when she sees the spill of black hair and the fair skin against the blue.]
... Huh?
[Is that... her?
She's sleeping so soundly, her chest rising and falling. Tifa closes the distance between her and... herself, and kneels over to check. Is this her right now? Or is this how Eustace sees her? So quiet, so peaceful... the same way that she sees him as he sleeps next to her.
Tifa won't try to wake her, but instead adjusts her arms so that she—herself—is more comfortable, and she plucks a single flower from the bed and places it between her fingers...
It's a little surreal, looking down at herself. This is the kind of thing that only happens in fever dreams, and she knows that this isn't one. She knows that this is a nightmare and that this image is only going to last for so long before it all crumbles like everything else did. Still, she whispers quietly, as if this sleeping Tifa might have the answer...]
Have you seen him?
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I have.
[When she turns around, she'll find Eustace standing there... But the red eyes tell everything, even if there's no frost on his skin or dark shadows around him.
And just as he speaks, there's a tremor similar to the one in the caves that rumbles beneath them, causing the flowers to shake and sway.]
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Eustace—!
[She whips around and to her feet, relief written clear across her features and laced in her voice at having found him, and Tifa is about to throw her arms around him, stopping just short of touching his shoulders when she sees his eyes. They aren't the soft blue that she adores, but the kind of red that could only be made of nightmares.
Tifa wrenches back before he can even think to grab her, and she places herself firmly between him and her sleeping self in the flowers. The cold clutches of fear start to grab at her, they try to pull her down into its dark, freezing depths, but she holds fast, steels herself against it, and swallows it all down.]
Where is he?
[She tries to keep the trembling out of her voice, and out of her hands as they ball into fists at her side, and she wills herself to stare into those tainted, blood-red eyes as if to challenge him.]
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Cute.
[He takes a step forward.]
But do you really want to find him now? You won't like what you see.
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I'm going to take my chances.
[She squeezes around the leather gloves on her hands where she can feel her frustration and anger starting to wrap around her like a hot coil waiting and wanting to snap.]
Don't make me ask again.
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I'm only warning you for your sake...and his as well.
[He stops within arm's reach, red eyes gleaming.]
Did you ever consider he might not want you to see him? That you only make it worse?
[As if on cue, a distant roar is heard, the ground shaking more violently than before.]
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This is all to get under her skin, into her head as much as it is Eustace's, because she knows that the moment she sees him, what she does will matter. Even if she's afraid of the lindwurms or of this version of him, she has no reason to be scared of the man she knows is behind it all, and who is only more afraid of it than she is.
Tifa shakes her head in response.]
I know that's not true.
[He'd said so himself... That it was important to Eustace that she accepts every side him, and she already has. Long, long before this nightmare had any reign over him. And if he needs her to prove that over and over, then she will endure this for as long as it takes.]
But you wouldn't know anything about that. You don't know a thing about him. You're stuck here... in this nightmare.
[However, her patience with him is wearing thin, if she even had any to begin with, so she will ask again this time.]
Where is he?
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For now...
[All he takes is one step, yet he manages to cover the distance so that he's right in front of her, looming over her as he smiles.]
But since I can't refuse you, I'll lead you to him.
[The ground trembles and starts cracking beneath her before it suddenly opens up to make her fall through. Her other self can be seen floating beside the nightmare entity and he runs a finger down the pale cheek.]
So long as you exist, I'll be here for a while...
[Down down down Tifa will fall, the dark earth changing to frigid ice as the blue sky from above disappears and she's enveloped in darkness. As she falls she'll hear the sounds and cries of everything Eustace has had to face, not all of them nightmarish, but challenging all the same. The screams of a boy finding his village burned and destroyed. The barking orders of strict officers. The deathly cries of enemies and allies falling in battle, monster and human alike. Hail of bullets. Booming thunder. Clicks and whirs of machines. Water. Gasping breaths.
Dammit, no—! Come on, stay with me!
Sounds of war. The deafening roar of a cursed creature that shakes the seemingly neverending tunnel, echoing so loud it will shake her to her bones.
No, I... What did I...??
I'm sorry—I'm so sorry—
No—no no no Tifa no—please, Tifa—Tifa—NO—!
The ice walls stained blue and black flicker as streaks of dark red flow down, some dripping on her as the thick smell of iron fills the space before at last her fall is broken by a deep red pool.]
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Those words sink deep, digging their claws into her heart and burning themselves into her mind. She tries to remind herself that isn't true... That this is all just a figment of their imaginations. Visions created and manifested from their greatest fears. That Eustace won't have to suffer for long... things will go back to normal. They will...
... Won't they?
Tifa isn't given much time to think it through or shake it off, because the ground breaks beneath her again and she's falling... tumbling through darkness again. She lets herself fall, closing her eyes as she feels the air grow colder and colder, and as she listens to the voices.
His voice.
A young boy... a hardened soldier... a protector...
...A man shackled by a curse...
Her eyes snap open when she feels the trickling of something warm on her skin, and when she wipes it away, she sees the deep red colour as it drips from the walls and the ceiling of this endless rift. Blood? Tifa gasps, but it's all she can do before her body crashes into a pool. She has no chance to brace herself, and she resurfaces quickly, gasping and coughing to breathe the air back into her lungs as she wades, searching around her for him. What little light there is, she can see that the water is red... or, is this even water!? She swims one way and then the other, looking for a surface to climb to. The smell of iron is so thick that she feels herself gag in the back of her throat, but she coughs it off.
She isn't going to break. She isn't going to break...]
Eustace!
[She cries out, her voice edged with desperation now, and it echoes off the pool and the icy walls, hoping... praying that he'll hear her.]
CW: gore, body mutilation, blood, death, it's like a lot of stuff
As she walks, her shoes will squelch along the bloodied ground, the shadows within the iced walls becoming more visceral and soon—recognizable.
Beat missing his side and arm as if ripped away, neck crushed.
Trahearne and Oriphi frozen with their chests torn open, charred by lightning.
Beatrix face down, burnt and torn asunder, barely recognizable.
Aerith hanging on the short ceiling skewered through the chest.
Susato bloated and ghastly blue, hands outstretched as if clawing for air.
A few feet more and she'll stumble over something—a frozen arm that rolls down the path she just came. And when she looks forward she will find herself in what looks like a horrific battlefield, dyed red and black. Lightning rips through the blood red skies as black ice rises from the bloodied ground. And scattered everywhere are various corpses...of her.
Frozen over, drowned, cut or clawed through, burned, torn apart—the bodies lie scattered, some piled on top of each other. It seems endless.
And in the distance a blood curdling scream is heard—of her own voice. It's followed by a ghastly roar of a black lindwurm, its bloodied fangs bared as it lunges to strike the woman running away.]
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(frozen comment) fin~